****Well, I had another "inspiration attack" and I wrote this. It follows Edward's train of thought and it starts after they shoot the scene in bed in Marie's room****
What the fuck had just happened?
Surely, this was all acting but he didn't expect her to be this…this, enthusiastic about this, he was more prepared for her to act in contempt, but here he was, dumbstruck by the way she just kissed him, or maybe the term "attack" would be more fit. This whole day had been hell, purely that, and nerve wrenching and just damn erotic…Why did this have to happen, and why was he feeling so taken by this whole day. He felt her, alright, he saw her clawing at the bed covers earlier, she detested him, she was trying hard not to run away from him and ruin the scene, but still, he couldn't feel anything but pleasure as he was given the chance to be close to her in this small way.
What now, have I become an abuser? I take pleasure from her distaste?
He tried to shake the thought that made his heart burn; his mistake ruined all, at least in the past he could have been next to her without her cringing away, because she didn't know what he felt, but now he knew this must be torture for her. But still, she knew what he felt, she could try to go easier on him. It already was as hard as it could be, having to be around her every day, look at her and touch her, without being able to really touch her. And what is worst is that he knew that he probably repelled her, but still, now she just threw herself at him. That's some getting into character, isn't it? He regretted the surprise, the fact that he was so taken aback by her actions, that he didn't even have time to register it. She really kissed him, or at least pretended to, and he was too phased to feel it. And earlier today, when he kissed her neck he thought he felt some kind of response from her, not a you-make-me-sick response, but she seemed to like it, a little bit.
Damnit! It was acting, that was what she was supposed to do! She just followed the fucking directions.
This was so tiring, interpreting each of her signals, dissecting her behavior and never really getting to a final conclusion. After he helped her get off the bed he could see how nervous she was.
Right, back to my initial thought, she was repelled, she had to do it.
He followed her after she picked up that ugly brown jacket and threw it on her back. He thought that he must apologize, truly apologize for everything, so when she started running he ran after her, even if he knew it must scare her, he just went after her, not really thinking what he was supposed to do when they reached the destination, that seemed to be her trailer. Would he go in after her? That would really scare her, like really, omg-this-time-he's-really-gonna-rape-me scare her. He saw how she reacted earlier that week, when she jumped away from him, cowering against the dresser.
I really am a piece of work am I not? Now all of the sudden I'm a almost-raped-her kinda guy?
But his line of thought was interrupted when she stopped dead on her tracks in front of her trailer and turned around to face him.
Shit! She's angry. Forget angry, she's furious. Right, what was I going to say? Something about being sorry.
"Are you alright?" was all he managed to say. And he was stunned by her answer. She really was furious.
"No, I am not alright, I am NOT fucking alright. Are you satisfied? You are a fucking idiot. You screwed me up. Everything was normal and now it just isn't, and you get to go on with your life, and calling me during the weekend to come at parties with you like nothing happened and like you didn't know I wasn't with…I wasn't alone, and then you apologize like what you did is just to be forgiven".
He could feel the anger flowing in waves to him, shooting invisible but still painful daggers in his body. What was this? At least he tried to make things better, be friendly again, and now she had, just had to remind him that she hadn't been alone last weekend, of course…she was with him.
"What I did? You say it like I committed fucking murder." he retorted to her accusation, and he couldn't help but be resentful.
"It is for me. What the fuck were you thinking?"
In the back of his mind he could feel a little tug, trying to remind him that he wasn't here to fight or blame her for anything, she wasn't guilty of anything, she was just her, this wonderful girl, beautiful and smart and…he just fell in love with her, though he knew better, he still did it, she was just being herself.
"I…I'm sorry." he trailed off, trying to hold on the rational thought and not let his anger get the best of him.
"AAArgh. Just fuck off!" she turned round and opened the door, entering as quickly as she could, trying to slam de door behind her. Aaand, that's how all the better feelings flew out the window. So he rushed and caught it and slammed it back on the wall.
"Why don't you fuck off! You act so offended, well….I have reasons to be offended as well".
For a moment she didn't seem to understand what he was talking about, and she just stared at him.
Right, like you didn't know you had me at your little finger since I first saw you in Catherine's garage…It always has to be about you.
"How do you think I feel, how did you think it felt for me? To be fucking rejected like that, I know I was a total jerk and nothing else could be expected from you. But knowing…" he paused, the feeling he had that week coming back "…knowing you were going to see him, kiss him, let him…"
Ugh…not even now, he couldn't think about it. The fact that she did have someone, that touched her and…did things to her, it just made his mind go into a painful overdrive.
At least she wasn't saying anything, she just stood there, looking at him, with a question in her eyes.
He started again, his voice lower, but full of resentment "Don't you think I want to be able of fucking off, of being able to fuck any other bimbo that throws herself at me and then just forget about it. Do you think I want to be sick to my stomach thinking of your fucking buddy touching you with his hands? "
A long pause settled between them, then he spoke again, his voice less bitter this time.
"You first make me feel disgusted about myself, and then you kiss me like that." his voice was now hoarse, his body half turned toward the door, not looking at her "So how am I supposed to feel?"
It seems like she wasn't going to talk again, so he just turned toward the door, but he couldn't leave just yet. This was another mistake that will make things even more awkward between them, so at least for now he could enjoy a few more moments in her presence without her running away. But then she did speak and he was perplexed to hear what she was saying.
"I'm….I was….I'm sorry. I'm just tired of fighting you and I thought…"she trailed off, letting the unsaid words hang in the air. What did she think? What did she mean, tired of fighting what?
He straightened his back and turned to the door fully. He suddenly thought that this was going to be a private enough conversation, so he stretched his arm and closed it. He could hear her cry and all he wanted was to soothe her, no matter if he was the reason of her crying, he just had to find a way to soothe her. But when he turned around he was caught by surprise by the sight in front of him. She was leaning against the small counter, gripping the wooden edge for support, looking so helpless, a pleading in her eyes that he could not understand, he just wanted to hold her close, keep her safe, even if he in fact was the menace that threatened her.
He closed the distance between them in two wide steps, gripping her from under her arms and lifting her up on the narrow counter, taking her into his arms and hugging her fiercely to his chest. He felt her gasp with relief when she felt his close embrace, and he was glad that at least he could offer her some comfort in this emotional tempest that she was going through. She was so fragile, almost getting lost in the big jacket she was wearing, she felt as a child in his arms, but when he leaned his head down on her shoulder, her scent hit him again, like it did that night, and he had to force himself not to dig under her jacket and just breathe her in.
He suddenly felt her fingers clawing at his shoulders, but she didn't push him away, and he thought he had to take this last chance, before she rejected him again, and leaned to kiss her, just where he had during the scene, where her scent was so powerful, where he could feel like pulsing through her. But a kiss wasn't enough, he had to taste more of her, until his time was up.
Damn, I really am becoming a fucking rapist!
No, but she is not rejecting me tight now, I'll just pull away at the first sign, but for now, I have to do this, and I will memorize each second of it, each millimeter I get to touch.
So he opened his mouth over her neck, trying to make the best of this little slip she allowed him, her skin was just wonderful, and just as he almost reached her jaw a few things happened at the same time. She moaned and pressed herself to him as she arched her back, pushing her breasts into his chest and lifting her legs up to circle his. He couldn't believe it, she was responding to his touch, really responding, she wanted him and with that thought a moan escaped his lips too. Now, his only goal was to make her feel more, while he could, and surely he wanted to feel more, but he would settle with anything she allowed. So he moved slowly and cautions, deciding to touch her neck and her back under the jacket, he had been there before, but not like this. Her back was so small under his palm, she was so fragile, and he really was afraid to break her. And just as he was thinking about that, her head went without support and her head hit the cupboard in her back with a small thud. He couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his throat, and decided that he didn't have to injure herself, not right now.
She seemed really trained in the feelings he was giving her, and made the next step for him, the next allowance, uncovering her shoulders to him, exposing her collarbones, and looking so damn hot with her head slightly angled back, putting her body on display, her lips parted and swollen from all the biting she subjected them to, so he couldn't help but touch and once more went to take something without permission. He had to do this desperately, if she didn't want to, she just had to make the smallest of signs, and he would stop, even if that would kill him, he would stop, but for now he just had to kiss her, really kiss her, for the first time.
She started crying, but didn't push him away, he inched closer to her, giving her all the time he could offer so she would stop him, but she just gripped his shoulders more forcefully and pleaded with him.
"Edward, please", she breathed and his name on her lips just made him crazy. He didn't know what she was pleading for, though, and as she started to pull him closer he could only hope she was pleading for him. But still he had to see her face to be sure, any sign that she didn't want this and he would draw back, he would get out of this trailer, and then he would try to be the best friend in the world for her, if she wanted it. But all his thoughts went into a void when he saw her lust filled gaze, she was looking at him, her breathing hard, her lips parted and her arms kept tightening around him, and once again, he couldn't remember what exactly was he trying to think earlier, because right now in front of him, was just her, around him was just her smell and warmth, in her ears he could only hear her breathing and the most powerful all of these feelings was that if he didn't kiss her, he would stop breathing altogether.
He pressed his lips to her then, and forgot to take it slow, his senses going into overdrive. Her lips were different, he could really feel her, taste her, and it was the best thing he ever did, the best texture he ever felt. It was possessive and forceful, he pulled at her shoulders, trying to get her closer somehow, and she seemed to be in accord with him, tightening around his waist and pressing and bucking herself onto his torso. This had to be heaven.
He groaned and broke the kiss, thinking that if they went on with this he wouldn't be able to stop and would take her right there and moved to more secure areas, to her throat and to her ear, taking the lobe between his lips and teeth, nipping at it. But he found his assertion to be wrong, as her response when he sucked on the spot behind her ear, almost made him come undone. She clutched with both her hands his hair, pulling his face onto her neck and then backwards, and he groaned again as a certain area of he body that he disregarded stood now to attention. Her perfect breasts, oh how he always wanted to touch her, and now her nipples were piercing the soft cotton, making him want to rip the cloth right of her body, but instead he continued to slowly explore her, making sure that he got a response from his every touch and kiss, and she didn't fail him, her breathing becoming more and more labored, gasping and moaning when he hit the right spots. God how I would like to learn them by heart, know each and every fucking one of them! He trailed down her throat, to her collarbone and down her chest until he felt the barrier between his lips and her skin obstructing. He finally took the hem of her tank top, and when he got her approval, her arms lifting above her head, he pulled it up and off her, exposing her bare chest to him. The sight was breathtaking, her breasts were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, in fact her upper body was the most beautiful think he had ever seen, her neck was long and graceful, her skin was light and translucent, holding a beautiful glow, her dark tresses were flowing over her shoulders, her collarbone seemed to have been sculpted by an artist, and her breasts, and the gentle curve of her waist, all of it was beyond perfection. It was vaguely amusing to him as he registered that they were both still in costume, and he snickered internally thinking that he was corrupting "Marie" way beyond Anthony's boundaries. She still wore the brown contacts and he just resented to not be able to see the wonderful green of her eyes, but she was still Kristen, especially like this, uncovered, before him. After he drank all of her in he took her to the bed, thinking that was enough counter action for now.
As she felt herself being lifted she started crying, really crying, no longer the little whimpers from earlier, she was trembling under him, and made a feeble attempt to stop him from touching her, catching his wrist. But it was all to no avail, as his mind was set, he was going to make her feel, to show her what she should feel, what she was running from, because she was running, now he knew that at least he wanted him, this, to happen. If he had any doubts before, all of them were just erased when she pulled his shirt over his head. He pinned her wrists above her head and whispered into her ear what he just got to comprehend a few moments earlier.
"Stop fighting this", me…you'll see, there's nothing wrong in wanting me
As he felt her letting go for the moment, he lowered his body so he could finally feel all of her under him. As he started kissing her once again, it didn't feel like before, this time, she was going to make him pay back for every touch. When he dipped down to her throat once again, she grazed her nails up and own his body, as he kissed her breasts, she dug into his hair, as he circled her waist to pull her up, she writhed against him, almost making him lose it.
He wanted to worship every part of her but he just couldn't make things slow down, every time he touched her, she reciprocicated, returning the feeling a thousand time stronger. Moans were resounding around them, as each of them tried to get the best from the other. He dragged his hands down her body, standing up on his knees before her, and pulled the rest of her clothing off her, then made little trouble in dealing with his. All he could see was her, laying before him, naked and panting, watching him hungrily as he settled between her legs, spreading her apart, searching for what he wanted to feel for such a long time. They both moaned as he touched the apex of her thighs, his breathing going shallow from the ultimate proof of how she responded to him, she was all ready for him, his fingers getting moistened instantly. But before he could do anything more, she kicked his hand out of the way and lifted herself to put her legs around his waist, and without any other warning she pushed him inside her.
If he had thought before that they had acted like they were hungry for each other, nothing compared to this. This was pure need, primal, rough and more than he ever experienced before. With each hard thrust of his, her hips bucked, meeting his in perfect unison and sync as they sped up. She was holding him so tightly, pulling at him, so he let himself fall, barely supporting his body no to crush her, but as he searched for a point to rest his weight he felt her coming apart under him, screaming his name, and tightening around him, so he leaned on her collarbone and let himself go, moaning and grunting and shivering through his own release.
They stood there for what seemed maybe just a few moments, trying to steady their breathing and slow their hearts. He fell next to her, feeling like all life was sucked out of him, and reveling at what he just lived…felt.
But a cold pang of panic went through him as he heard a voice outside calling for her. He knew in that second that the moment they shared was gone and she will be lost to him again.