Sakura made her way to Kabuto's lab. The war between Konohagakure and Otogakure was over for the most part. After Orochimaru had been proven dead the fight had gone out of most of the remaining ninjas. There had been a few diehards but, for the most part they had been dealt with. There had probably been some that had slipped away in the confusion but, they couldn't do much and after realizing the extent of their defeat would probably just fade away.
The only thing left to do was to gather as much information as possible until everything settled down. Orochimaru's head was already on its way to Konoha to surrender whatever secrets they could get from it and she was about to pillage the lab. Since the bulk of the remaining Oto forces were outside being sorted that left their base open for the taking.
It wasn't really hard to find. The egomaniac had put a sign on the door saying Kabuto's lab. For a man who had been a spy for so long he apparently didn't believe in subtlety once his cover was blown. Opening the door she didn't really know what to expect but she wasn't prepared for how ordinary it looked.
It was a long room with bookshelves and Formica tabletops for dissecting animals and a larger stainless steel table for autopsies. If it wasn't for the lack of light and the large clear container of water at the end of the room it could've been a facility in Konoha. Stepping into the room her nose was assaulted with the familiar smell of anti-septic which replaced the stagnant smell of the corridor.
Her first stop was the bookshelves which were filled with anatomy and botany books. She reached for a botany book and thumbed through it, oddly it was a copy of one she had in her room. The only thing different was that it had handwritten notes in the margins. They were mostly add-ons to the text but a few were corrections.
Deciding this was a keeper she put the book down on the table and pulled out a blank scroll ready to seal it inside when a voice called out. "Not that I care but, he's probably going to kill you when he finds out you took something from his lab."
Sakura stepped back from the table startled scanning the room. "Who's there? Show yourself."
The voice laughed, "Oh I like you newbies. I can have a little fun with you when you're alone."
She couldn't determine where the voice was coming from but, she turned on the radio she grabbed before going on her solo mission. "Assistance requested third level lab possible hostile."
"Maybe if you're lucky you'll just become another one of Kabuto's experiments, though that might be worse than death."
"Kabuto has been dead for days and Orochimaru has joined him. Otogakure has surrendered," Sakura shouted to the seemingly empty room.
There was a long silence and then the voice called out again, "Really? Well, if you are taking prisoners then this isn't a rescue party. That would be too much to hope for. That means you must be from Konohagakure."
"That's right. Where are you," Sakura asked hesitantly.
"I'm in the glass prison. I have an ability to turn my entire body into water and that is how they're storing me until they want to experiment on me a little more."
She headed towards the large glass tube warily, "If you can switch back and forth, why don't you just become human?"
"Because," his tone had turned to that of a petulant child like Naruto when they first met. "They're running a minor electrical shock through the inside of the container and I can't transform when I'm being electrocuted!"
"Alright alright, I will let you out." The pink haired teen suddenly had a bad feeling not so much about this guy but about the room in general.
"Good my clothes are in that cabinet and there is a valve on the side. If you open it, I can come out."
Grabbing the cloths out of the cabinet she released the valve and as the water came pouring out she stood back to watch. The water that was pouring out didn't behave like normal water; there was no splashing it just sort of congealed. When the tank was empty the water started to rise slowly revealing a nude male teen about her age. She averted her eyes to his face.
He wasn't bad looking she thought but, when he smiled he revealed that he had serrated teeth like a shark. It was definitely unattractive and it also placed his home village Kirigakure. At that moment the door flung open and Sasuke along with another ninja she didn't recognize burst into the room.
"What's wrong," Sasuke demanded eyeing the newly freed prisoner.
"Sorry false alarm. This guy was a prisoner."
"Experiment," he corrected.
Her teammate visibly relaxed, "Alright we'll take over from here so that you can continue your search."
Sakura hesitated before she asked, "Sasuke could you stick around?" The crush she had had on her old teammate had faded into friendship but, there was something about this room that was putting her on edge. Finding a human in the lab was unnerving.
He nodded in acknowledgment and as the newly freed prisoner and the other ninja left she went back to her work. This time she went to the file cabinets themselves and started reading the files. They were fairly innocuous at first but, then she found what she had been expecting. Human experimentation notes. Individuals with Kekkei Genkai had been experimented on in this very lab. Others without any unique abilities had also fallen victim to Kabuto's experiments. The notes were dry and scientific in their nature but her mind could easily fill in the blanks.
She dropped the file on the floor and then pulled out the drawer dumping its contents. Once it was empty she moved on to the one below it and so on until the cabinet was empty. "What's wrong," Sasuke asked leaning against the far wall.
She didn't answer until she moved on to the next cabinet. "We're destroying everything."
He didn't answer at first and she was on the third cabinet when he asked, "Why?"
"Because," she snapped tears blurring her vision, "nothing good can come from these notes." He didn't join her in her rampage but he didn't try and stop her either. When she turned and asked him to set the papers ablaze he did so without comment. Part of Sakura knew that Tsunade would be disappointed in her but, at that moment she just didn't care.
Kado blinked trying to see if he had missed any spots. "Do you think they'll notice if we miss a spot? I mean it is white on white." They were outside painting the wall that surrounded the Hokage's Residence. Normally painting a wall the exact same color was difficult enough but, the sun was hitting it just right causing a rather annoying glare.
"This is a mission so do it right," Hoshiko snapped from behind them.
The young Uchiha turned not bothering to hide his annoyance with the kunoichi. "You know there is a third brush you could use to help out."
"I'm supervising," she smiled before glaring, "besides it's your fault where confined to missions that take place near the Hokage Residence."
"My fault," Kado said raising his voice. "How is it my fault that I have a relative that is a psychopath?" He pointed his paintbrush at her to emphasize his point and a glob of paint flew off of the bristles. The white glob arced through the air before coming down on Hoshiko's shirt.
She looked down at the spec of white against her black T-shirt. She wiped it off with a finger and glared at him. "Ranmaru can I borrow your brush," it was phrased as a question but, before he could answer she yanked it from the smaller boy's hands.
"Hey, I'm sorry. It was an accident," Kado said holding his hands up and taking a step away from her.
She nodded and twirled the handle of the brush in her hand. "I know and so is this," with a quick flick of a wrist she splattered paint on her teammate.
The genin winced as the cool liquid splattered across his face. He paused counting to ten in his head, "What I did was an accident. That was malicious, just like this is." His paintbrush slashed across her face leaving a white streak from just under her right eye to her chin.
She blew out air between her clenched lips which set tiny droplets of paint flying, "You do realize this means war."
What ensued would be best described as a knife fight with paint brushes. She slash, he parried and then countered attack. Both of them got paint on each other and sometimes it was from their own brunches. Then a voice shouted at them, "Hey get back to work or I'll report you."
They both turned towards the voice simultaneously. Kado pale under the ice cold eyes of a Hyuga wearing a chunin vest. There was a man standing next to him dressed in very expensive clothes and carrying a large role up piece of paper under his arm. "Right," he chirped grabbing Hoshiko's wrist before running back to where they had been painting.
Both of them started painting feverishly redoing work they had already done. Kado noticed from the corner of his eye that Ranmaru was just staring at the men as they disappeared into the building. "Get to work," he hissed. "That was a Hyuga. He might still be watching us."
"Something's wrong," Ranmaru stated seriously. His eyes turned crimson for a few seconds and then added, "That man is hiding something."
"Just leave it be. He was with a Hyuga, that means they know about it already," Hoshiko muttered.
"They're too tense. Maybe the client would be but, not the ninja." Unpredictable as always he broke into a trot heading for the entrance.
"Ranmaru," the young Uchiha side as his teammate ignored him.
"You know he tends to be right." His only remaining teammate shrugged under his scrutiny, "His eyes are useful unlike yours." She shoved her paintbrush into his chest, "See ya."
The bastard Uchiha made a very simple calculation in his head. If two of his teammates were to get into trouble while on a mission, so would he. His sensei would say that he should've talked them out of it or because she had a sadistic streak a mile wide for symmetry. However, if there was something going on well then he might be a hero. In fact that was the only way he would escape punishment, "Wait up."
The trio of stalkers discovered almost immediately that they had a problem. The Hokage Residence was a combined government facility and private residence. As a result it had certain design features such as long hallways that made it easy to spot a tale. If that wasn't bad enough the floors seem designed to squeak.
Ranmaru's only hope of getting a better look at what the man was carrying was when they rounded a corner. Whenever that happened the lavender hair boy would sprint forward his eyes glowing in a futile effort to get a glimpse at what was concealed beneath the rolled up paper. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough.
After about the third time this happened Kado whispered. "Why don't you just go up to him and take a look? They probably won't even notice."
"Idiot," Hoshiko answered.
"Hey, it's not."
"No, you are," Ranmaru chirped. "I'm not positive but, I think it looks like something I have seen before." They continued to play the game of cat and mouse until the pair stopped at the door and the chunin knocked before entering. "That's the Hokage's office."
The youngest Uchiha cursed under his breath as his small friend sprinted forward abandoning any attempt at stealth. He followed. The boy paused at the door and his normally placid expression twisted into something unfamiliar as he shouted, "Assassin."
Kado caught up to Ranmaru as he flung the door open with a kunai in his hand. They both froze for a second at the scene that unfolded in front of them. If it wasn't for his Sharingan he wouldn't have known what to make of the situation.
The man with the roll of paper dropped it while raising his hands into the air. A quarter of a second later the Hyuga jumped up onto the desk. At first Kado thought he was trying to interpose himself between the presumed assassin and the village's leader but, then he struck at her. The Hokage who had been standing to greet her visitors kick forward sending the man and the desk flying end over end.
The desk crashed into the other man sending him sprawling. Doing a handspring the Hyuga who was apparently the real assassin sprung forward going after Tsunade. She blocked the blow with her forearm but, as he was using the Gentle Fist chakra ripped through her arm.
The traitorous assassin struck again and this time he would've penetrated her guard but, Ranmaru had finally snapped out of his surprise and threw his kunai. It struck his target in the arm deflecting the deadly blow. Tsunade lashed out with her good arm but as she was off balance it was easily dodged.
It was then that Kado did what he would later consider, one of the dumbest things in his life. Darting forward he put himself between the villages leader and the assassin. The Hyuga spun pulling out the weapon he was about to throw it when the window burst into a thousand shards of broken glass. Noise and light filled the room before the source of it was plunged into the Hyuga.
Kado recognize the Chidori. Sasuke had shown it to him once and he had attempted to copy it but had no affinity for lightning. Since the other Uchiha wasn't currently in the village that meant it had to be.
"Sorry I'm late but, I hate stopping in the middle of a paragraph," even though he had only one eye showing Kakashi seemed to smile. "Are you all right?"
For a second Kado thought that he was talking to him but, a voice came over his shoulder, "Nothing I can't heal."
The Jonin nodded almost in perceptively and then added, "You can stand down now."
That comment was directed at the youngest Uchiha as he realized he was still in a fighting stance. He blushed sheepishly and turned to look at the room. It had been thoroughly trashed by a fight that had lasted no longer than thirty seconds from start to finish. Hoshiko was holding a kunai to the well-dressed man's throat who seemed to be unconscious and Ranmaru was trying to free something from under the desk. With a shift of the desk he freed a large metal object.
"Careful that could still be dangerous," Kakashi warned.
"A musket," the Hokage muttered, "bastards."
"That guy was probably going to take a crack at you and then this guy would've come in to either kill him or finish you off," the massed Jonin said nudging the body on the floor.
"Since they would have that guy's body they probably wouldn't look too closely into it. If anyone bothered with an autopsy they probably wouldn't notice that a Gentle Fist move killed me. Of course they didn't know you were watching over me or that these genin would get involved. How did you know something was wrong," she asked looking over to them.
Hoshiko glanced over at Ranmaru and judging by the confused expression on his face so did everyone else. Not used to being the center of attention he seemed to retreat into himself and Kado had to take pity on him. "We saw the two of them go into the building and Ranmaru said that they didn't look right. So, we followed them then he saw that," he gestured towards the musket that was now on the ground.
"Right, I'm going to want a more detailed report later. Kakashi help me with our guest over there," she gestured towards the unconscious body. "As for you three I have a very important mission for you. I want each of you to go to a gate and deliver this message to whoever is in charge at the moment. Say there was an assassination attempt on my life but I'm alive and able to carry out my duties. We've captured one of the two assassins alive. Do not give any more details, that is a direct order. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am," the three echoed before running to carry out her orders.
Naruto was exhausted which was a rare state for him. Then again it wasn't everyday that a sword skewered him either. Still, he had recovered enough to start feeling slightly annoyed that Jiraiya was getting the lion's share of the credit for killing Orochimaru. It had been a team effort and really neither of them had delivered the final blow.
He sighed before doing the final check of his equipment. Unlike everybody else team seven had been ordered to return to Konoha as soon as possible. It had something to do with Sakura or something he really hadn't been paying attention when he had been told why. Just about everyone else would follow later that day except for a few teams. They were going to stay behind and help what was left of the Sound village organize.
"Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?"
Naruto turned to face Otonashi and forced a tired smile. "Well, I didn't know where you were. Last time I saw you, you were going to get help."
"I did. I just wasn't crazy enough to climb up that little shaft." The Kumo ninja came closer and lowered his voice, "How are you feeling? Has your tenant really healed you?"
"Yeah, sometimes the worst the wound is the faster I'll heal. It hurts but," he shrugged.
"You mind," Otonashi asked holding up his hand glowing with healing chakra. Naruto didn't object and he took that as an invitation to place his hand on the genin stomach. "I'm not a medic yet but, diagnostic jutsu are pretty simple."
Naruto chuckled as the chakra tickled him but, then saw the serious expression on his friend's face. "Is something wrong?"
His friend shook his head, "Nothing unexpected. When somebody uses chakra to rapidly increase the rate of cellular mitosis it generally temporarily increases the rate of apoptosis. Don't worry though I don't think you're in any danger of ischemia."
The orange clad genin blinked, "What?"
Otonashi smiled trying to gloss over what he said, "Forget it. It's not important. Just don't make a habit of relying on it. That reminds me there are a couple of stories floating around about what happened down there. You'll be glad to know that in all of them you get stabbed to some extent."
"So what?"
"Well I can't speak for Sasuke but, Sakura strikes me as the curious type. Do they know about your tenant," his friend finished with a raised eyebrow.
Naruto felt a little sick at the thought. "No, I told one of my friends back in the village but that's it."
"How did he take it?"
"Good I guess."
The taller teen nodded, "Yeah well for what it's worth I think they will take it fine. It's not really a big deal. Of course if you come to my village you can avoid the whole awkward conversation altogether."
"I'm not defecting Otonashi."
"I'm just throwing it out there." They both laughed although Naruto didn't think it was that funny. "Well maybe we'll run into each other again."
"Yeah, I just hope we are not on opposite sides of a mission." The blonde held out his hand and his friend took it. After a moment the Kumo ninja turned and walked away leaving the genin to ponder how he should tell his two teammates.
He didn't have long to think about it as Sakura storm passed him announcing that they were leaving. Sasuke was a few steps behind her and he asked him, "What's up with her?" The inscrutable chunin gave an inscrutable shrug leaving Naruto to fall back on Jiraiya's advice. Sometimes women are just crazy.
Sakura set a fast pace. They blew by a member of an ANBU team who called out, "Good job today Naruto."
The blonde did a double take at that as Sasuke asked him, "You know somebody in the ANBU?"
It took him a second to place the voice, "Sort of I know his daughter."
Sasuke was silent for a second before asking, "That was Moegi's father?"
"Yeah, how do you know her?"
"Idiot, Kado is friends with her and those other two she's always with. When all five of them visit him, I'm envious for the days I was alone." Naruto thought about what his friend had just said for a second and then started laughing so hard he almost missed a step. "What's so funny," the raven haired teen asked.
He wiped away a tear, "I'm just picturing you with six eleven-year-olds running around your house. It makes me fear for your children."
"Shut up," Sasuke snapped.
On their way to the base they had taken a rather circularity route but, on their way home they made a straight beeline for Konoha. That made the scenery different which Naruto tried to enjoy since Sakura was in a mood and his other teammate was well Sasuke. After a few hours they came to the river that functioned as the border between the two countries. Last time it had not been really that difficult to cross but, this time there was a small valley.
As they descended the steep sides Naruto looked upstream and notice something through the mist. "Hey, there are some huge statues over there."
His two teammates paused before crossing the river and looked at where he was pointing. "That's weird," Sakura spoke for the first time in an hour, "why would anybody build statues in the middle of nowhere?"
"Doesn't that one look like the first Hokage? I think I recognize him from the monument. We should check it out," Naruto exclaimed like he was eight years old again.
"We don't have time."
"Oh come on Sasuke, loosen up a little. We can spare a few minutes to take a look at it. Besides it's not like we'll be out this way again anyway, right Sakura?"
"It isn't like I have anything to report anyway," she said in support of his idea.
"Quiet," Sasuke gestured for silence by holding up a hand.
Naruto was about to snap at his friend for talking to Sakura like that but, then he heard something. He didn't know what to make of it at first but then he felt a vibration through the ground. Without warning a wall of water crested over the top of the waterfall before it crashed to the ground making a noise as loud as thunder.
Authors note: Originally I was going to call this chapter 'If It Is Not a Snake Summoning Sannin Trying to Destroy Your Village It's A Cane Wielding Cyclops Trying To Take Your Village Over' but I decided that was too long.