Twi-Talk

BY InuYashaBaby1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never had, never will.

AN: Hi guys! This story takes place during Breaking Dawn. The Boys settled down to play a game of Poker. Dirty Poker. This started with an idea I had and I just went with it. This chapter is really a lot of fun in my opinion, I hope you enjoy it ^-^. However, there's A LOT of language in here, so...yah.

Chapter 2-Full House

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As the Cullen boys (plus Jake) settled down for a quick game of poker, Jake paused for a moment. He looked down at Carlisle, and very calmly, asked:

"Wait just a minute...How can Jasper and Edward play? Jasper can feel emotions, so he'd know when we're lying, and Ed can read minds."

"That's the challenge, dude!" Emmett shouted excitedly and slapped Jacob on the back. Ouch, he winced, that was going to leave a bruise. "This isn't just any game of poker."

"I'm not going to play strip poker with you bloodsuckers." Jake said. Emmett, Edward, and Jasper burst out laughing.

"No, no. Jesus, you'd faint at the sizes of our disco sticks!" Emmett laughed. No one else did.

"Did you get that from a Lady Gaga song?" Jasper asked apprehensively. Emmett just stood like a giant statue.

"Psssht...no!" Emmett denied. "Where would you get that idea?" Emmett denied, but the skeptical boys ignored him. They settled around a small, antique poker table. Personalized Cullen playing cards. Jake laughed at that, Fuck, these people were richer than the guy who owned McDonalds.

"We do own McDonalds." Edward winked. Jake groaned.

"Do you want us to explain the rules?" Jasper asked calmly. Carlisle picked up the deck of cards and shuffled them so quickly that Jake lost sight of them. Jake nodded apprehensively, afraid of what kind of rules these vampires would come up with.

"Hiya boys." Alice smiled, coming in the room. She was wearing a short mini skirt that was black and white stripes. She wore a tight top, low cut that showed off her great figure. And-Jake gulped-no bra. She was wearing a small whistle. Jasper smiled and she went to sit in his lap.

"What the fuck?" Jake said.

"Ah, Alice is the Ref." Edward explained.

"Okay, because she has powers too right?"

"Yeah." Alice smiled brightly. "Okay, I'll explain how you play. It's simple. The game is played just like Poker, but, of course you can't actually think of the cards in your hand or, you know, you'd lose. So, I'll shout out an image, and you instantly have to think of that image, and feel that image." Alice smiled daintily as she said it.

"What type of images?" Jake asked purely out of curiosity.

"Porn! What else!" Emmett smiled. Jake instantly regretted playing this Poker game. It was the Cullens. He should have known.

"Alright, lets begin." Alice bounced, dealing out the cards in lightning speeds. Jake looked at his cards, which were face down. "Okay-hmmm...first image, Rosalie naked." Jake's eyes shot open. He tried to imagine blondie naked, and finally he got it.

Long hair flowing down her pale form, her golden eyes glistening in the deep moonlight. She had a round, tight ass, and curvy hips, she beckoned to Jake with her long slim finger. Then in a seductive voice she whispered: "Look at your cards." Jake repositioned his pants a little, and kept the image alive in his head. He glanced at his cards quickly, but did not think about them-a Three of hearts, a four of clubs, a two of diamonds, a queen (which was actually Rosalie, Jake found that ironic) of hearts, and a three of clubs. Not a great hand, but he could deal with it. He continued to focus on Rosalie, who was biting her ruby red lips and turning around to face him... Jesus, Jake had never felt like this about Rosalie before. (It helped that he had a good imagination, though...)

"Okay boys next round." Alice said quietly. "Make your calls, this time Bella."

"Hey, that's not fair. We've never done it with Bella before!" Edward said, leaning forward on the table as the silent bets were being made.

"It's completely fair! All of the wives have been subject to this at one point! Now that Bella is officially part of the family, I think we should go for it." Alice smiled wider. She blew her whistle playfully, and all Jake could think about was Bella.

She was laying on his bed her face covered in warm blush. Her soft, pink body reached up for Jake. She bit her middle finger, 'Oh Jake' she cried.

"Jesus Mother Fucking Christ." Edward hissed. "You guys are disgusting." Jake looked at him in disdain.

"What? She's one sexy girl." Emmett smiled. "You couldn't please her as much as I could."

"Wrong, Em-but Jasper's bondage fetish has got to be the worst." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Who are you kidding Edward? Haven't you read fan fiction lately? Don't you know that an astronomical percentage of the Twilight fan base is actually BellaXJasper!" Jasper looked at Edward incredulously. "Besides, girls eat that bondage shit up."

"And Carlisle! Go find Esme to stick your stethoscope up!" Edward yelled. "Certainly don't do it to my Bella! ALICE CULLEN! YOU TOO! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

"What? Femmeslash is sooo much more popular these days." Alice winked at Edward.

"You seem a might jealous."Jake added.

"Not of you, Jake, you're an inexperienced cunt head who wouldn't know his dick from a postage stamp!" Edward screamed. Jake fell out of his chair.

"Well for your information, my dick is far larger than a postage stamp!"

"Pssht...you couldn't please a woman if your cock vibrated!" Edward laughed.

"Since when did the men of this house start getting so mouthy!" Jake heard Esme say as she walked by.

"I SO COULD! ...If my cock vibrated." Jake whined, and the Cullen boys laughed.

"Yeah, us Cullen's we can please a woman just by looking at them." Emmett smiled.

"Fuck yes we can." Jasper hollered, giving a high five to Emmett.

"Well, all of us except for SexEd over here." Emmett pointed out, and Jake roared with laughter.

"I'll have you know that Bella and I enjoy a fantastic sexual relationship." Edward scoffed.

"Actually he's right," Jasper agreed.

"I please Bella far more than any of you please your spouses, and I have far less experience than all of you."

"Ah it seems Edward Cullen has a full house." Stated Alice.

Jake rolled his eyes. Edward Cullen ALWAYS got the full house.

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AN: YAY! I've been meaning to write for a while now, thanks for reading! Please leave a nice little review. See that box-it has green writing on it-Review story/chapter? That's right. I wanna know what you think! Reviews=More chapters.