A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews! I hate to tell you that this is the second to last chapter of my story. I'm probably going to write another story when this one is done though, maybe with some Mikami! Please don't stop reading after this chapter; you'll definitely want to know what goes on in the very end.
I love you all!
Review, please!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Duh.
When I woke up the next morning I felt like I had a hang over. My stomach churned and my head ached with a sick, heavy feeling. I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom, wincing at the bright light. My hair was a mess, so I tried to sort it out a bit with some water, but it wasn't much help. Groaning, I stumbled into the living room, not wanting to face L.
He was sitting on the couch, eating a piece of cake when I walked in. He greeted me with a large smile, pretending nothing had happened.
"Good morning," he grinned.
"Hey," I grumbled, making my way into the kitchen. I selected a bag of potato chips and opened it, munching on my favorite snack.
"How are you feeling?" L asked as I reentered the living room and sat on the couch next to him.
"Groggy," I replied, trying to keep my answers short. For some reason L's cheery demeanor was making me feel worse.
"Your mother called early this morning. She's made quick arrangements for a funeral. It will be tonight, at six o'clock," he informed me, losing his smile.
"Super," I said sarcastically. L chewed his cake awkwardly, unsure of how to handle my attitude. We passed half an hour in silence.
Finally L opened his mouth to speak, and his voice came out squeaky from lack of talking.
"I'm sorry."
"For…?" I raised my eyebrows, interested.
"For what I did during your last phone call with your father. It was childish, and I apologize. But I need you to know that I'm not sorry about 'calming down the Kira case'. Misa deserved to go to jail, and even if it cost your father his life, he would've wanted it that way," L stated. I could feel the rage burning through my veins as L spoke. "I know he would die to catch Kira."
"He didn't have to!" I exploded.
"Light, you can't blame me for this. Blame Misa, blame Mitsuru, blame your father. But don't blame me." L narrowed his eyes.
For once I caught L by total surprise. He didn't have a chance to defend himself before my fist struck his face. I punched him with all my might, slamming into him harder than a baseball bat.
"Don't you ever fucking say that again," I growled. "My father's death wasn't his fault. He was trying to be a good person. You could learn a lesson from him. When's the last time you actually put yourself out there, huh, L? You sit around in your fucking little room, typing on the computer all day, doing some goddamned research, never putting your own life at risk. You send out your lackeys to do the dirty work, and they get killed!"
"Your father wasn't one of my lackeys. The Mitsuru case wasn't mine," L defended himself.
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed.
Suddenly I was on the ground, clutching my side. L had delivered a gut-blowing kick, and was now standing over me, his nostrils flaring angrily.
"I understand that you're upset about your father's death, but you must control yourself. You have no right to speak to me this way. I'm going to have to ask you to leave," L declared.
I jostled myself into a standing position and stared L in the eyes.
"You're kicking me out?" I clarified.
"I'm afraid so."
"Fine. Fine! I don't care! Actually, I'm glad to be rid of you! Fuck you, L!" I shouted in his face, kicking the wall on my way out.
"I still love you," I heard L murmur as I left.
"SHUT UP!" I yelled through the door, anger chasing defeat through my body, racing from my fingertips to my toes. I stormed to the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.
Once I left the task force I had no idea where I was going, I just went. I rushed through the city, glaring at people I'd never seen before. Pedestrians recoiled with fear as I snarled at them for no reason, stomping around. I managed to end up at a bus stop, and got on the bus, planning to ride it until I got kicked off.
I slouched on a seat in the back, scowling at the young couple next to me. They scooted over a few seats, terrified.
I slipped my hands into my pockets and fingered the paper from the Death Note. L's name refused to stop running through my head, and I felt like I'd explode if I didn't write it down.
"Give me a pen," I turned to the couple, my voice heavy with menace. The women searched her purse for a pen, her hand shaking as she held it out to me. I grabbed it from her and smirked, pulling the paper from my pocket.
I closed my eyes and pictured L's face, the pen poised right above the paper.
L Lawlie
I threw the pen on the ground, smashing it with my foot. I'd been one letter away from killing L, why couldn't I do it?!
Breathing heavily, I picked up the remains of my pen. Clearly I wouldn't be able to use it any longer. The bus made a stop, and the couple sitting next to me hurried off, turning back to give me worried glances as they exited.
Something in my wretched heart twisted, like a faucet turning on water. Tears began to pour out of my eyes and I couldn't hold them back. I'd cried enough in the past two days to overflow an ocean, but somehow still had tears to give.
After a few minutes I realized everyone on the bus was staring at me, so I decided it was time to go. Taking my ripped paper from the Death Note with me, I staggered into a café and sat down, exhausted.
"Hello, can I take your order?" a lively waitress came to my table, beaming.
"Do you sell alcohol here?" I asked.
"No, I'm sorry," the waitress replied, confused.
"Give me a piece of rum cake then," I ordered, shooing her away.
I crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on them, the stupid song that L had sung to me stuck in my brain. I was going insane, I had to be. Nothing seemed to make sense; everything was just one big mess.
"Here you go," the waitress returned with my cake. I stabbed at it hungrily with my fork, devouring the piece in less than a minute. Even though I knew all the rum had evaporated, I was feeling the effects. I lazily laid a few dollars down on the table, not bothering with a tip, and left the café in search of a liquor store.
***
"Watari, let me in! This is ridiculous! I need to talk to L," I begged, my palm banging the intercom button.
"I'm sorry Light, but L told me you're not to come inside," Watari repeated wearily.
"At least let me talk to him!" I cried. There was silence for a moment.
"Hold on."
L's disguised voice came over the intercom. "Hello?"
"So this is what we've come to? We're reduced to talking through an intercom with your detective voice? Let me in, please!" I banged on the door.
"I can't do that, Light. You're out of control," L responded.
"I picked up some cake and wine for us. Have a drink with me, that's all I ask. One drink and a slice of cake," I bargained. L stayed silent, considering it.
"Alright."
***
Ten minutes later L and I were sitting across from each other at our kitchen table, glasses of Sauternes wine and pieces of strawberry cheese cake in front of each of us. Neither of us had touched anything. I was too nervous to eat or drink, and L was probably trying to make me feel uncomfortable, although I knew resisting cake was hard for him.
I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to convince L that I wasn't Kira, nothing was wrong with me, and go back to the life we used to live. But another part, maybe a bigger part, told me I was there to say goodbye, and we both knew it.
"Your father's funeral is in a few hours, and it will take a while to get there. There's a suit laid out for you in the bedroom," L informed me.
"I suppose you're not coming," my throat burned.
"It would be rude if I didn't attend."
"Oh."
I
sipped at my wine, and L took that as his cue to start eating the
cake. We ate and drank in silence for a while. But this silence was
different. There was no pressure, no awkward tension or stress in the
air. It was a calming feeling, and I felt myself relax. I opened my
mouth to speak.
"It's time to get dressed and leave," L cut
me off before I could say anything. Caught off guard, I swallowed.
"Right," I nodded, standing up. Remembering that there was a suit for me in the bedroom, I managed to get it on without too much effort. When I went back to the living room I gasped at the sight of L. He was wearing a clean black suit and was currently fidgeting with his tie, unsure of how to put it on.
"Let me help you," I offered, my hands working their magic. I quickly had both of our black ties looking ready to go.
We stood for a minute, gazing into each other's eyes. My heart rate accelerated as familiar feelings of love for L began to pump through my veins.
Our lips met in a gentle kiss, soft and sweet. I pulled back and exhaled loudly, a slight smile playing on my face. I linked my hand through L's, and we headed down to the car.
***
By the time we reached the funeral both L and I were slightly tipsy, sharing drinks out of the flask I'd snuck along. I attempted to push all thoughts of Kira and death out of my mind, but still couldn't forget the curled up piece of paper in my pocket.
L released my hand when he saw my mother crying over the casket. He gave me a reassuring look as I cleared my throat and made my way over to her.
"Mom?" I gulped.
"Light!" my mother cried, throwing her arms around me. She sobbed against my chest, soiling my suit. "Oh, Light, I miss him so much!"
"It'll be okay, Mom," I pat her on the back awkwardly. Finally she pulled away, sniffling.
"I'm sorry; I've made a fool of myself. It's just hard to hold everything in, especially when I see you. You've always been so strong!" she said, on the verge of tears again.
"I miss him too, Mom. Look, about what I said to L the other day. The um," I blushed. "Blow job, thing?"
"Oh. Yes, we can talk about that another time. I'm just glad you have someone who loves you," my mother stroked my cheek.
My heart burned from her words. You have someone who loves you. I did, I had true love, and I was going to throw it all away.
I gave my mother one last hug before returning to L. He was talking in a somber tone with Matsuda.
"So Mitsuru still hasn't been found? That's insane!" Matsuda shook his head, disappointed.
"Yes, they're still conducting the search," L scowled. "I suppose Light and I will get involved soon."
"Of course. There's no way I'm going to let Mitsuru walk away after killing my father," I growled. As I said that an idea popped into my head. It'd really be quite easy for me to kill Mitsuru. All I had to do was write in the Death Note that he'd be caught and killed by the Japanese police. I wouldn't use any specific names of police officers, so their lives wouldn't be in danger.
"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom," I lied, using an excuse to get away. Luckily the bathroom at the funeral home was empty, so I crept into a stall and locked the door.
Iwao Mitsuru
Shot and killed by Japanese police offer at eight o'clock PM, April 22nd, 2008
After I scribbled down the name with a pen I'd found in the bathroom, I folded the paper up, satisfied.
A sudden euphoric feeling began to take over my body like a drug. I'd been so long since I'd written down a name in the Death Note.
I felt a laugh slither up my throat and tried to push it back down, but before I knew it I was laughing hysterically, gulping down air as I fought for breath. I pounded on the stall door, exploding with giggles.
The feeling of murder was so fresh, so bright in my mind that it felt like I'd bathed in holy water. A new beginning! Everyone thought Kira was gone forever! But no, no, he couldn't be gone! Kira would never die.
After I regained control of myself I brushed myself off and rejoined the group. Neither L nor Matsuda seemed suspicious when I returned, but they could've easily been hiding it.
The funeral service was dark and depressing, but L held my hand throughout it, rubbing it softly with his thumb. Matsuda and Aizawa both gawked uncomfortably, but L and I ignored them.
After the service L decided I was allowed to return to the task force, so we made our way upstairs together, never letting go of each other's hands.
L's floor was dim and mysterious after a funeral. We sat on the couch together, L in his normal position. As I looked at him I thought about our past, and for the first time considered our future together.
The clock above the television told me it was eight thirty. I turned the TV on to the news channel. Sure enough, they were reporting the death of Mitsuru.
"Hm, it appears the Japanese police caught Mitsuru. He's been shot," I told L calmly. "I'm glad he's dead, but I almost wish we would've had the chance to get involved. I'd love to catch him myself," I said convincingly.
"Yes," L said delicately. "I'm sure you could've done it, too."
I turned back to smile at him. "Thank you, L. You have no idea how much that means to me."
After the news program I couldn't stop grinning. I was thrilled with Mitsuru's death. Every time I used the Death Note I felt so…powerful.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. L was the only person standing in the way of that power. He was the only thing holding back the new world of justice.
He had to be eliminated.
***
After we watched TV for a while longer L's lips found mine, starting a slow kiss. Our tongues danced, my fingertips toying with his tie. I freed him from his suit, my eyes panning over his body as if it was for the first time. We made it to the bedroom and I smoothed my palms all over L's skin as he lay on the bed, humming a song.
I traced his body with my tongue, raining kisses all over him. His humming turned to moaning, and soon he was stripping me of my own clothes.
We lay in bed together, touching each other gently. His hands felt like butter on my skin, soft and silky. Once again our lips met in a passionate kiss, making it last this time.
I turned L so he was lying on his stomach and slipped a wet finger into his entrance, relishing his moan. I added another finger, pumping it in and out slowly. L was soon thrusting against me, trying to create some delicious friction.
I entered him, starting to drive myself with sure, steady strokes. Beads of sweat broke out on both of our foreheads as we rocked back and forth, moans escaping our mouths.
The pace of my thrusts increased and I began to grunt rhythmically, savoring every inch of L. The excitement grew, and after I short while I felt myself explode inside of him. My face rested on his back, breathing heavily.
We rearranged ourselves so we were lying next to each other, stroking each other softly. I glanced at the clock.
"How much longer?" L asked in a raspy voice.
"What?" I replied.
"How much longer?" he repeated.
"Until what?" I answered, puzzled. How could he know?
"How much longer do we have together?"
I paused. "Three minutes," I whispered. I reached for my suit pants on the ground and pulled out the piece of the Death Note, showing it to L. I couldn't explain my actions if I tried, I was on autopilot.
L Lawliet
Heart attack, Midnight, April 22nd, 2008
Tears cascaded down my face as L realized that he was right all along. I was Kira. I'd written down his death right after I'd written Iwao Mitsuru's. It was like cutting out my heart, but when I first found the Death Note I vowed I'd do whatever it took to create a perfect world.
"Don't cry, Light. Shouldn't you be happy? You've won," L reminded me peacefully.
"I'm losing you," I cried.
"You made a choice. I hope it's worth it," L grimaced. 11:58.
"I want you to know, L, that I love you. I love you so much. I'm so thankful for all of the time we spent together. I'll never, ever forget you," I sobbed.
"Are you trying to say that you'll miss me?" L half-smiled.
"I think I'd miss you even if we never met," I quoted, my eyes full of tears.
Our last kiss was bittersweet, a broken type of magic. I held L's hand as he passed, the sight of him gasping for a breath he'd never take haunting me.
And finally L Lawliet was cold and dead in my hands, gone forever.
"No," I whispered, grasping for the first time what I'd done. "NO!"
Without thinking I pumped my fists on L's chest, doing compressions to begin CPR. "L, COME BACK!" I screamed, thumping on his chest. "L!"
I breathed into his mouth, fully aware of how useless it was. "COME ON, PLEASE, L!" I shrieked, desperate. "NO, I CHOOSE YOU! I WANT YOU! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, L, FOREVER!"
"It's a little late to change your mind, Light," Ryuk cackled from the corner. I knew he'd come.
"NO!" I wept.
"How are you going to explain this one? Don't cha think it'll be a little suspicious?" Ryuk pestered me.
"SHUT UP, RYUK! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, WOULD JUST BE QUIET!" I screamed, resuming my compressions.
Taken aback, Ryuk finally shut up so I could do my pathetic rounds of CPR with only the sound of my frantic crying filling the room. I stayed up until three o'clock in the morning, doing CPR until I was drenched with sweat. When I simply couldn't go on I collapsed on the bed, blubbering.
It took me another half hour to stop crying so I could call an ambulance. My Kira side still tried to protect me, covering up the death. I knew this wouldn't look good, but if I had to I could kill more people to make everything work.
Once I called the ambulance I took L's hand in mine and kissed it softly. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Heh, don't be sorry, Light. What about your new world?" Ryuk snorted. I ignored him, falling asleep for the last time with L's limp body next to mine.
First off, I know it's 2009. When I decided the date I tried to be more anime-specific. Ha, for once I actually pay attention to the real storyline.
Second, please don't be angry with me for killing L. And don't skip the last chapter just because you're mad about L's death. You're DEFINITELY going to want to find out what happens, I promise.
PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to know what you think about the (almost) end of my story.