56686 Chapter 1
It was just minutes after Adam slammed the door in her face. His words cut her so deeply she felt like a failure as a human, a friend, and a partner. He doesn't forgive easily and she doesn't trust easily. Hank would have to split them up because they can't keep their personal lives out of work. She swore her personal life would never affect her work life. Just another failure she checked off her personal list she thought regretfully.
'How did I let it get this far?' Kim wondered sadly. Why couldn't she just have said nothing?
She hadn't meant to hurt him, she never did, but she never seemed to say the right thing when it came to Adam Ruzek. Kim choked back tears as she stared at the door that had just been shut in her face. How was she going to work with him in two days?
Slowly, she trudged down the hall and back down the stairs. She didn't feel like going home, so she ended up driving around endlessly. She was lost in her own thoughts and she didn't even turn the radio on.
Kim Burgess didn't even realize when her car ended up in front of the 21st district police station. Her mind decided, she ran into the building and headed straight for the desk sergeant and her mentor.
"Burgess, didn't you just leave?" Trudy teased the brown haired officer as she approached her. It was the midnight shift and she had hours to go until she could go home so she appreciated the distraction. She didn't mind the midnight shift so much when Randy was working also.
"Yeah…" Kim began quietly, looking crushed. There was a long pause before she asked, "Sarge? I was wondering if you knew of any undercover work available?" Her usual sunny disposition was now hiding behind a dark, stormy rain cloud.
"Promise me you're not running from something. Or someone?" Trudy inquired seriously of the young woman she had watched grow into a truly amazing woman and officer. Trudy could always read her like a book.
"I need experience undercover for when I become a detective." Kim answered as truthfully as she could. Platt seemed to accept her answer at least somewhat. It was unusually quiet and she was feeling unusually helpful as she went into the database and printed out a few assignments.
Kim didn't sleep that night. She gave up tossing and turning around 3am and looked up the assignments Platt had printed for her. There was an assignment in gangs, two assignments for narcotics, neither of which she felt quite ready for. The last assignment was going undercover with a detective from sex crimes to go into a sex trafficking ring as a girlfriend and leader of the girls that were being trafficked.
She called Sergeant O'Malley first thing in the morning even before she had her first cup of coffee to see if she could accept. With her resume he was even quicker to accept her and Kim headed down to the 42nd to start the paperwork. She met her partner Detective Finn Harrison to set up their operation.
She spent all Sunday putting her mail on hold, paying her rent, giving her plants to a neighbor, packing a bag with her undercover clothes and cleaning out her refrigerator. Finn had told her to expect to be gone for up to a month. Maybe after that she and Adam could have a conversation. She went to bed early so she could get a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed for the last time for a while.
Early Monday morning…
"Hey Hank!" Trudy Platt called Sergeant Hank Voight over to the front desk before he went upstairs. She figured she owed it to him to give him a heads up of what is waiting for him.
"Hey Trudy, what's up?" He asked in return. The two of them had been friends for a long time. He could tell when she had something on her mind and this seemed to be one of those times.
"Burgess is upstairs waiting for you." Trudy stated. Hank was concerned instantly. It was five in the morning and his unit came in between seven and eight. Some like Kevin and Kim were closer to seven, Adam was closer to eight, and Upton and Halstead were usually in between.
"Did she tell you why she's here?" He wondered what couldn't wait until work started.
"She wants to go undercover or quit, I'm not sure." Trudy replied seriously.
Hank took the stairs two at a time. He was going to give the kid a piece of his mind. She was a brilliant cop; hardworking, determined, resilient. One with a bright future ahead of her. Like hell she was turning in her badge.
He entered the bullpen but she didn't see him from the break room. He noticed her desk was cleaned off and in the garbage next to her desk. He winced when he realized how angry she was.
"Hey kiddo." He greeted, carefully. "Wanna talk about it?" He poured two cups of coffee and sat down and waited for her to talk.
"Adam hates me." She confessed quietly, not looking up at him. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her.
"Adam could never hate you." Hank argued. He didn't think it was possible for anyone to hate Kim Burgess in fact. "Why would you think that?"
"Because I said, 'What did you do?' when I heard the shots and saw Barrilis on the ground." She admitted tearfully.
"Kim, I think we all thought that before the video thankfully proved that not to be true if we are honest. And we're glad it didn't happen that way. Does he feel betrayed? I guess he's taking some of his dad stuff out on you as well."
"Usually he needs a few days to clear his head." Hank tried to convince her.
"He doesn't trust me." Kim muttered ashamed. "I don't blame him."
"I'll put you with Kevin." He tried to make her feel better working with her old partner.
"I think I need some space." Kim argued. "I was thinking about turning in my badge, I could go back to being a flight attendant or I could go undercover or something…" She was rambling by now, struggling not to cry. "I'm sorry I promised I wouldn't bring my personal life into work and here I'm crying at work to my boss…" She was embarrassed.
"Kim, you're a human. We are all humans in this unit. What matters is that you are aware of your weaknesses and try to overcome them and that you ask for help when you need it. " He tried to be optimistic.
"If I let you go on the undercover assignment, you won't turn in your badge?" Hank made her promise. "Promise." Kim replied softly.
"He'll come around Kim." Hank would make sure of it. Since no cases came in overnight, Voight was glad to send Kim home and not call in the team, letting them have a well deserved day off, earning them a rare long weekend.
Tuesday Morning
Kevin was always the first one to arrive so he could catch up with Sergeant Platt and Kim, who was always second, but always early. They had started this tradition the first year Kevin and Kim were on patrol and under Platt, the two rookies wanting to soak up information and skills from the veteran sergeant.
Today Platt did not seem interested in chatting and Kim must be running late. He texted her earlier if she wanted a Starbucks since he had time. No answer to caffeine. "Huh." he wondered before going upstairs. Kim did not turn down coffee often.
The team trickled in slowly to the bullpen. Hailey and Jay came up the stairs, their noise helping to fill the void. Adam ran up behind them, barely avoiding being late.
"Something feels weird today." Hailey said as she sat down at her desk, though she couldn't say why. The blonde detective just knew today was going to be a long day.
"Kev, have you heard from Kim?" Adam questioned breaking Kevin's silence, wondering where his partner was.
"Why is all of Kim's stuff in the garbage?" Jay wondered to Hailey, he noticed her desk was empty for the first time.
What the hell had happened since Friday? Kevin thought suspiciously. Adam seemed unusually quiet and withdrawn. And Kim was nowhere to be seen.
He opened the drawer to his own desk and found the picture frame Kim always has on her desk. It was a picture of Kim and Kevin and Sergeant Platt from their first year as CPD officers. Now he was worried. It was one of Kim's favorite possessions.
Just as the speculation grew, Hank was coming out of his office. He looked a little haggard, Kevin thought. We don't have any pressing cases that he knew of that would be stressing Voight out. More surprising was the man behind him and why he was there.
"Kim's out on an undercover assignment for two-four weeks." Hank announced, shocking the entire team.
"This is Officer Jamison, from the 9th district." Hank Voight introduced the veteran cop to the surprised group in the Intelligence Unit bullpen when roll call started. "He's filling in for Burgess for a while."
"Where is Burgess?" Kevin Atwater asked, concerned. Kim hadn't mentioned anything about an undercover assignment when they met up at Molly's on Saturday. Though she had seemed somewhat preoccupied he realized now.
"She's on an undercover assignment for the time being." answered the sergeant before addressing a new case. Both Adam and Kevin were shocked, Kim hadn't mentioned anything to them at all, Kevin was worried but Adam was feeling guilty. He and Kim had a fight Friday night and now on Tuesday morning she was gone. Adam was really regretting that he hadn't reached out to Kim over the weekend.
"What's up Ruz?" Kevin asked as the pair drove around for the current case. Adam's head had been up in the clouds since Voight's announcement this morning. "Does this have anything to do with Burgess?" He had seen Kim's spiral when Adam went undercover and he had the same thought that maybe Adam was reacting the same way.
"We had a fight on Friday night." Adam admitted slowly. He knew he hadn't reacted well but Kim had come to apologize and he had thrown it back in her face.
"The case with your dad?" Kevin recalled, remembering the tension for the rest of shift after IA cleared Adam with his body cam footage.
"Kim asked me, 'What did you do?'" He answered, hurt with her response, not recognizing that she had been afraid that he was going to cross the line and his dad's mistakes were going to cost him his job.
"I mean, can you really say you act rationally when it involves Bob?" Kevin challenged Adam. "She could have said it differently for sure, but the two of you don't act rationally when either of you could be in trouble."
"You're right about that Kev." Adam said sheepishly. "I know I screwed up. I didn't mean it, Kim is not a cruel person." He agreed with their best friend.
"This reminds me of when you went undercover a few years ago." Atwater mentioned as they continued onto the crime scene.
"I was running from Kim and now she is running from me." Adam sighed, the events of Friday night running through his mind.