Disclaimer: I claim no right to the Twilight universe. Please Review!
Warning: This chapter contains scenes of semi-explicit sexual activity. Consider yourself informed.
"And you've lived in Texas your whole life, except for the last few years?" Alice asked in wonder.
Jasper nodded with a smile. "I have. I take it that you've spend lots of time moving around?"
They sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, sipping hot cider and staring into the flames of the fire that took Alice nearly half an hour to build after she had scrubbed the kitchen down. She had refused to let Jasper help with either task, so he had just waited on the couch while she straightened the kitchen and watched with carefully concealed amusement as she struggled with arranging the wood just right and getting it to catch fire.
She shrugged, her dark hair falling forward into her face as she stared into her cup. "Carlisle loves to travel, so we've always been significantly mobile. We've all been around the world, helping him in his non-profit clinics during the summers and doing service trips during our winter breaks. He always let us have spring break to relax." Her smile was soft and reminiscent.
"I'll bet growing up in that house was a challenge, with your two older brothers. I imagine they were difficult to deal with," he said.
The smile melted off her face, replaced with a tight jaw and flat eyes. "I imagine they were."
He noted the changes with increasing dismay. "I'm sorry. Did I say something?"
She gave him an apologetic glance. "No. It's not something you would have known about. We were all adopted. Carlisle and Esme couldn't have children of their own, so they kind of took each of us in as we came along. He's something of a bleeding heart. Edward was first, then Emmett, and me. I was fifteen." She tucked a lock behind her ear.
"Oh," was all he could say. Questions were burning on his tongue, but he swallowed them, unwilling to say something that could cause her more discomfort.
"Carlisle was the best thing that could have ever happened to me," she admitted, shaking her head. "Without him, I'd probably be dead or completely out of my mind, at the very least. But I don't think you want to hear that story."
Jasper slipped his hand underneath her chin and turned her face toward his. He wanted to take away her pain. "Whatever happened, it doesn't matter." As he stared into her eyes, willing her to believe him, another part of him wanted to replace his fingers with his mouth, to run his tongue along the fine line of her jaw, to explore her throat with his lips and find the spot that would make her gasp.
She sighed. "I don't understand you."
He smiled. "I'm not that complicated." He released her jaw and returned his hand to his cup. It pleased him to see the ugly marks gone from her skin.
"Maybe not, but you give very little away." She shifted, wriggling around until she lay on her stomach propped on her elbows with her knees bent and her feet in the air. "And yet, I feel safe with you." Her brow wrinkled as she realized something. "Safer than I feel with Edward or even Emmett. Odd, isn't it?"
He stretched out on the floor beside her, laying on his back with one arm bent behind his head so that he could watch her. The firelight flickered and rippled, sending golden waves of light shimmering across her skin. He searched his mind long and hard, but he couldn't find a time when he had been so content in the presence of another person. "I feel calm with you," he told her, feeling it was only fair that he share with her as she had shared with him. "There's always a million things pulling at me from all different directions, but that seems to go away when I'm around you."
She looked sideways at him, her expression curious and soft. "There's so much you're not telling me," she murmured, like she was speaking to herself. He said nothing and she continued, "but I guess that it's only fair. There's a lot about me that you don't know yet, either."
The faint pulse of hope in his gut flared into a sizable force when Jasper heard the word "yet." Unable to contain himself, he scooted closer so that their sides touched. Her dark eyes snapped back to his face from the fire, a little wide in surprise, but when he made no further move, she relaxed again. He only watched, drinking in the way she flicked the ends of her hair with her nails and the perfect curve of her lips when she smiled at a thought. His fingers itched to trace her lips, her face, the line of her body.
With a sigh, she rolled onto her side, breaking their contact but still facing him. She looked much younger in the firelight, but not more innocent. The shadows lurking behind her eyes took care of that. Her eyes unfocused for a second. "Edward and Bella will be back in a little bit."
Jasper propped himself up on his elbow, his fingers picking at the carpet between them. "I should probably go," he said.
"I don't want you to," she whispered, her face heating as she looked away from him nervously. Her head tilted back so that she stared directly into the flames, stretching the pale column of her neck, exposing the soft, smooth skin.
Unbidden, the image of her stretched out like that across his bed invaded Jasper's mind. His breathing grew short as he imagined pressing his lips to the thin skin above her pulse and feeling her chest rise with the resultant gasp. Her clothing dissolved beneath his hand as he let it slide down her body, drifting over her shape. Blood rushed to his groin as he pictured her back arching lightly and her lips parting in a pleasured sigh when he sucked gently on her sensitive skin. With some difficulty, he dragged his thoughts back to the present, to reality.
She was staring at him, a flush lending color to her cheeks and her onyx eyes wide and filled with things he couldn't quite define. No. He could define them, but he was afraid of pushing her too far, too fast and ruining anything they might have, so he squelched down his knowledge of her attraction to him.
"I'll stay until they get back," he promised, which was completely against his understanding that his continued presence was a danger to both of them, but he couldn't just leave her.
Alice shook herself, her eyes clearing and her breathing slowing down. "Thank you." She pushed up to her knees and settled back on them, sparing him a sideways glance. "Would you mind if I changed into something a little less formal?"
He smiled and shook his head. "Of course not. May I get some more cider while I wait?"
She nodded as she pushed up to her feet and stretched. The resulting series of small pops raised his eyebrows. "I'll be right back," she said and ambled away to another set of stairs that rose over those leading from the front door.
Jasper got to his feet and grabbed their mugs from the carpet with a sigh. He could just hear her light footsteps through the ceiling. Again his mind wandered as he thought about her pulling her shirt over her head and wiggling her hips as she slid out of her pants to stand in nothing but the delicate lace that he imagined she wore beneath her clothing. One hand would snake up her back to unclasp her bra and the thin material would fall away as she lowered her arm to reveal what he imagined would be perfect breasts. His body tightened at the thought of pressing against her from behind, skimming his hands up the front of her body from her hips to cup her breasts in his hands. They would be just as pale as the rest of her and just large enough to fill his palms. With a huff, he shut down the ridiculously persistent line of thought and placed his mug on the counter, keeping hold of hers to fill it from the simmering pot on the stove.
He was just settling back on the floor when she hopped down the stairs dressed in a pale blue long sleeve shirt and dark grey sweatpants. She looked delicious.
She blushed as he looked her over. "I know it's kind of rude, but I hope you'll forgive me. I find myself less willing to look my best all the time." She fluttered over and dropped to a seat right next to him, taking her mug with a small smile as he handed it to her.
He smiled. "There's nothing to forgive. You still look lovely."
Her eyes flashed down to the mug in her hands as his compliment caught her off guard.
Nearly unaware of what he was doing, Jasper leaned forward slowly, invading her space but giving her plenty of time to know what he intended. Her breathing hitched as their eyes met. "Alice," he said, her name barely a whisper on his lips. Her lower lip was trembling. He stilled it with his mouth.
Alice couldn't think. When their lips touched, there were no explosions, no earthquakes, no fireworks bursting into the air above them, just the warm soft pressure of his mouth on hers, but she still couldn't form a thought to save her life. She could only feel the faint brush of his breath on her cheek and the heat of his skin on hers as he kissed her so gently. He filled her world.
Slowly, he increased the pressure and her other senses suddenly returned. She heard the low crackles of the flames as they flared in discovery of pockets of resin in the wood. She smelled the faint scent of smoke and pine and heat on his skin. She tasted the warm sweetness of cider on his lips as they shaped hers in tender and insistent kisses.
Jasper drew her cup from her hand, placing it at a safe distance, and his hand returned to cup her jaw. His thumb moved along her skin in a small caress. He said her name again and she shivered.
Hesitantly, she touched her fingertips to the back of his hand, tracing small circles on his skin as she moved up his arm. A tiny moan escaped her throat as the tip of his tongue slid over the curve of her lower lip. Her fingers tightened on his bicep, the rock hard muscle under his expensive shirt sending a wave of giddiness through her. She enjoyed the juxtaposition of the incredible strength she could feel under his skin and the careful tenderness with which he touched her, as if he feared breaking her. That knowledge making her brave, she let her own tongue extend to touch his and was rewarded with a soft moan.
Her hand slid all the way up his arm and over his shoulder to circle around the back of his neck. His skin was hot and smooth and she twisted her fingers up into his hair, giving a light pull. At that, he growled and pushed her backwards so that she was soon lying on her back, though the pressure from his body barely increased as he held the majority of his weight on one elbow and one knee. The hand on her jaw curled behind her head to act as a cushion and hers slipped from his neck to trace down his spine.
Jasper's entire body twitched as she lightly stroked over the erogenous zone just above the base of his spine and her lips opened wider to let him in. He shifted so that her head was cradled by the hand of the arm that supported him, leaving the other to explore a little.
And explore he did. At first, he stayed in safe areas, simply outlining her body, grazing the curve of her breast as he moved from her shoulder, enjoying the inward curve of her waist and appreciating the flare of her hips as he felt his way down. The soft shivers of her body only encouraged him more. His hand drifted up to her breast and squeezed as he sucked her lower lip between his teeth and bit down gently.
Her reaction was instantaneous. Every muscle in her body twisted into knots and a soft keening cry issued from her throat. She was out from under him in a flash and pressed against the loveseat five feet away.
Every nerve in her body vibrated with tension and she couldn't suppress her trembling as she covered her mouth and tried not to cry. Her heart beat in a panicked rhythm, but she kept her eyes locked on Jasper while she took deep steady breaths to restore her balance.
Seconds, minutes, hours passed before he finally lifted his head to look at her and she found herself paralyzed by what she saw in his eyes. And the next second, it broke her. Tears flooded down her face, washing away the last of her makeup, and she pressed her hand even more tightly across her mouth to muffle her sobs.
"Excuse me," she managed and lurched to her feet, nearly coming back down as her legs almost refused to support her. Unsure that she could make it up the stairs, Alice darted across the room and into the bathroom.
Jasper watched her go, unable to move with the guilt that swept through him. When the door slammed shut, he let his head drop to his arm and cursed for a full five minutes in a low, terrible voice. He should have known better. Instead, he let his body do the thinking for him and he had hurt her. Closing his eyes, he could see her face after he had pulled that monster away from her, her beautiful eyes hazy with fear and pain, her lower lip swollen and bleeding.
He heard her whimpers and his hands curled into fists, using all of his willpower to keep from punching the floor. His stupidity was amazing. He shoved himself to his feet and picked up their mugs, carrying them to the sink and rinsing them out before realizing that he was only postponing the inevitable. His steps were soft as he approached the locked door and his insides were churning. "I-" he said, having to start again when no sound came out. "I'm sorry, Alice." And ignoring the rising feeling of sickness, he grabbed his coat and left.
Alice flinched as she heard the front door slam shut and a fresh wave of anguish crashed over her. She buried her face in her hands and let the tears fall. Minutes, hours later, the flood abated and her hands dropped lifelessly to her lap. She sat trembling on the edge of the bathtub with her thoughts and feelings in shreds. Despair threatened to overwhelm her senses. Thankfully, the rumble of the garage door pushed her thoughts of herself to the back of her mind.
She quickly scrubbed the traces of tears from her face as best she could and darted out into the living room.
Edward was just coming up the stairs with Bella leaning against his side. His face was tight with tension, but hers was smooth and unconcerned. Her forearm was wrapped with a thick layer of gauze. She smiled at Alice and pushed away from her overprotective boyfriend.
"Just a few stitches, nothing serious," she said, before Alice could open her mouth.
Alice forced a smile to her face. "Good. I was a little worried when you passed out. That's the worst part of it."
Edward stepped forward and forced Bella back into the curve of his arm. "Yeah. They all said she was fine."
Alice rolled her eyes. "I told you. When will you learn to trust me?"
He shrugged, his eyes scanning her face. When they narrowed, she turned back to Bella. "How's Dr. Moore? He's on call tonight, right?"
Bella nodded. "He's doing well. His daughter Lisa just had her baby and he's over the moon. He definitely laid it on thick that Carlisle would love to have another grandchild. It doesn't matter how many times I tell them...I'm just not ready yet."
Alice couldn't help but glance at Edward, catching the end of the pained expression he hadn't been able to suppress entirely. She felt a small twinge of sympathy for him, after all who else did he have to talk to about how much he wanted to marry and procreate with the woman of his dreams? "Someday," Alice said neutrally. "Well, I'm glad you're okay. I'm going to head to bed now. See you tomorrow."
She darted upstairs before either of them could ask how the rest of the evening had gone. She leaned against the door, her composure shattering with the soft click of the lock. With a snarl, she tore her clothes off and collapsed onto her bed, trying to soothe herself with the soft comfort of silk sheets. Curling around her body pillow, Alice tried to push away the darkness threatening to pull her down.
A quiet knock at the door startled her out of her efforts and automatically she said, "Come in."
Edward slipped through the doorway, his expression tightening as he saw Alice, pale and shaky on the bed. He sat on the edge of her bed, folding one long leg beneath him. "What happened?"
Alice couldn't look at him, her control still decimated. "Nothing happened, Edward. I was just really worried about Bella. I don't like to see her hurt either."
"Jasper stayed after we left?" His voice was mild, but Alice knew him well enough to call his bluff.
"For a little while." She just wanted to be alone.
Edward's jaw tightened at her reticence. "Alice. If he did something…"
Alice turned to him, her mouth pressed into a thin line. "I really don't need you to protect me, Edward."
"Because you did so well ten days ago?" He looked as though he knew that he had gone too far, but he wasn't about to admit his mistake.
Alice's back snapped straight and her eyes went flat. "I am a big girl, Edward, and I can take care of myself. You need to let go of your control issues and let me live my life. If I need something, I will ask. Good night." She stared at him with her face a blank mask.
"Alice," he said.
"Good night. Give Bella a kiss for me," she cut him off. She knew that he could be extremely stubborn and extremely high handed, but she also knew that he was aware that she could outlast him in any battle of wills.
With a sigh, he stood. He almost said something else, but her glare was enough to kill the words on his tongue. "Good night."
She watched his retreat with impassive features, tossing the covers off violently as the door clicked shut behind him. Stalking into the bathroom, she tore through her medicine cabinet. Finding the bottle she was looking for, Alice filled a glass with water and poured a couple of pills into her hand.
Her reflection stared back, wan and strained. Closing her eyes to hide from herself, she tipped the pills into her mouth and washed them down with a large swallow of water. Keeping her eyes closed, she made her way back to her bed and sighed in relief as the medication smothered her into oblivion.