Chapter 2: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.
Disclaimer: Bad humor is all mine, baby. Unfortunately, nothing else is.
A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed! I don't think I've ever gotten that many reviews on one chapter! LOL. So, here's some more lovely double entendres. A little raunchier, but still not too bad. Age limit and warning still stand.
Yay! So Sam gets to say some…dirty things!
ENJOY!!
Sam tapped her fingers on the table in tune to the music blaring from her outside speakers as she waited for the cookies to finish cooling off. She and Janet were throwing Cassie a middle school graduation party. Half the base was there; including Daniel, Teal'c, and a certain colonel. A colonel that she couldn't even allow herself to think about. They'd been on the same team for a little over two years. She had known that she was doomed from the moment she saw him…but she'd hoped that her feelings would go away.
No such luck.
In fact, her feelings for Jack O'Neill had intensified, throwing her deeper into the throes of a painful…something. She knew what she felt had a name, but she couldn't even allow herself to think it. If she acknowledged it, she may not be able to keep everything inside. She might just shout those three little words the next time she saw him.
And that wasn't acceptable.
Deciding that leaving herself alone with her thoughts any longer was perhaps the worst idea imaginable, she quickly placed the cookies on a plate and turned to go outside. A small woman with a happily smug expression stopped her in her tracks.
"Jesus, Janet!" Sam said, flushing guiltily. 'Why the hell am I guilty? I haven't done anything!' "Any closer and I would have dumped these cookies all over you and the floor!"
Janet continued to grin, but took a step back. "You were thinking about…that…again, weren't you?" she phrased it as a question, but she already knew the answer.
"No." Sam flushed again and stepped around the persistent doctor.
"Sam." Janet frowned and dogged her heels.
"Maybe." Sam sighed. "Yes." She rolled her eyes as Janet clapped.
"I knew it!" Janet touched Sam's elbow to turn the woman around.
Sam stopped and turned, eyebrows raised in mock-annoyance. "Yeah, yeah."
Janet smiled kindly. "Sam…maybe you should do something about…that."
"Like what, Janet? My hands are tied." Sam shrugged nonchalantly, like it didn't mean all that much to her.
Janet sighed and took the cookies from Sam's hand. "Sam--,"
"Janet." Sam cut her off warningly.
Janet considered her friend, staring at the officer hard. After a moment she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Alright. I'll let it go." Sam breathed a sigh of relief. "For now." Janet smiled and walked past Sam without another word, leaving the blonde Captain to stare after her, frustrated.
Sam followed Janet a minute later, closing the sliding glass door behind her. She smiled and waved at Cassie who was sitting next to Daniel and talking animatedly. The teen waved back, not pausing her conversation. Sam smiled and shook her head. Daniel gave her a smile and waved too before turning back to the girl.
"Have I told you how much I appreciate you hosting this party at your house?" Janet said, also watching Daniel and her daughter. Sam noticed the slight flush to her friend's cheeks when Daniel waved to her.
"Only a hundred times."
"Well, now it's a hundred and one." Janet nudged her playfully. "Thank you for doing this."
"Janet, you and Cassie are like family to me. Plus, no way would all these people fit in your apartment." Sam nudged Janet back. "Hell, they barely fit in my house."
Janet laughed and glanced around. The yard was indeed teeming with military officers and children a few had brought. "You might be right about that." Janet conceded, shooting an amused smile at Sam.
"Might be?" a voice from behind them said. "Carter's never wrong." Jack flashed the two women a bright smile, but the glow was directed at Sam. He would never admit that, though.
"Except when I am, sir." Sam countered, heart suddenly pounding in her chest. Jack gave her a look that clearly said 'oh, please.' Sam shrugged, but smiled despite herself. "What? I can be wrong, sir."
Jack snorted and Janet shook her head. "Not likely." He smiled at her faint exasperation and embarrassment and opened his mouth to say something else when Cassie called out to him.
"Jack! Jack, where's Toby's leash?" Cassie called from where she still sat with Daniel. Toby was the dog that Jack had gotten her when she first came to Earth.
"It's inside, over by the--," Jack broke off with an apologetic smile at Sam. "I'll get it!" When Cassie nodded he threw Sam and Janet another smile and turned back to the house. Sam had to admit; he looked right at home on her porch. She could get used to seeing him there…she shook her head in a futile attempt to clear it.
Nope. Not like she actually thought it would work.
"Oh, Carter!" Jack called turning back to her, walking backwards towards the house. "Delivery guy came by a few minutes ago with a package! I signed for ya; hope ya don't mind!" he was shouting to be heard over the music.
"Delivery?" Janet asked.
Sam shrugged. "Thank you, sir!" she shouted back.
He nodded. "He left it on your back porch away from," he shot the party-goers a look. "Prying eyes!" Jack smiled. "I wasn't sure what you wanted to do with it, so I left it there!" He had reached the door.
"It's okay, sir!" Sam yelled. She didn't notice Teal'c reaching for the volume knob, glowering impressively at the teenagers who had turned it up. They backed away quickly, raising their hands in surrender. Teal'c twisted the knob violently, sending the yard into unexpected silence.
A silence that didn't immediately register with Sam.
"You can just shove it in through my back door!" Sam shouted loudly enough to carry across her entire yard. The first thought that came afterwards was that that had made no sense. It wasn't like she had a doggie-door or anything.
The second was that it was suddenly very quiet.
The third was the heart-dropping, stomach-sinking sensation that came with the knowledge of what double meaning her words had had.
Jack stared at her in complete shock for what felt like a full minute. Then he burst out laughing and, suddenly, everyone else was doubled over in laughter as well. Sam felt her cheeks burn and wished that the ground would just open up and swallow her. This had to be the most embarrassing moment of her life. She had just screamed for her CO to shove it through her back door. In front of most of her co-workers no less. Oh, Holy Hannah!
Sam stuttered something about getting more chips before bolting towards her house. Jack, who was leaning on her porch-rail for support and wiping his eyes, saw her half-running, half-jogging towards the door behind him. Her head was down and what little he could see of her face was red. As she made to run around him, he reached out and caught her upper arms.
She kept her head down and refused to meet his eyes. "I have to get more chips." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Hey, Carter." He said gently, releasing her. As much as he didn't want to…he couldn't hold her in front of his co-workers. He couldn't hold her at all. She met his eyes briefly before glancing down at her shoes again. Her eyes reflected embarrassment and a silent apology. "Don't worry." His voice was low and sincere.
When she looked at him again, her cheeks significantly less red, he smiled and cleared his throat. "Besides," he said loudly and shrugged his shoulders in a cocky manner. "You're not the first woman to tell me to do that." Without another word he turned and disappeared into her living room.
He was kidding. She knew he was just messing with her, but her cheeks flamed red again and she ducked her head as she ran the rest of the way to her kitchen.
Someday…that man was gonna pay.
TBC
A/N: Hope you guys liked it! More tomorrow! Please R&R!