Chapter 6: 'Screwing' as Defined by SG-1
Disclaimer: Not mine. Except for the stuff that is. Bummer.
A/N: Kay…this one is my most "vulgar" one yet! WooHoo! LOL. Warning and age recommendation still stand. This is another 'Sam flubs her technobabble' thing. Kinda.
Spoilers for "Beneath the Surface"
BTW: I'm not sure when Rodney first showed up, but I'm gonna pretend that its now. LOL.
ENJOY!!
Today was going to be a bad day. Jack had felt it from the moment he woke up. It had only been confirmed when he was told who would be coming to the SGC today. He seriously needed to read his memos when he first received them.
Yeah. Today was gonna suck.
And because he knew today was gonna suck…he felt no need to reign in his temper. Jack snapped at anyone who was stupid enough to approach him. 'Only 1200 and more than half the base is trying to avoid me. That's gotta be a record.' Jack thought ruefully as he stomped towards the gateroom. Carter was down there with him. That bastard, McKay.
Apparently, some of the higher ups decided that they really wanted to torture Jack today. Not a week after SG-1 got back from that damn planet with the memory stamp things and the President decided that they wanted an impromptu review of the SGC. How McKay fit into this Jack didn't know…but, hey. Orders were orders.
Damn.
Jack had every intention of going into the gateroom and watching McKay's every move. He knew how the guy felt about Carter and there was no way in hell Jack was leaving her alone with him any longer than he had to. Especially after the memory stamps…
While they had been Jonah and Thera they had been allowed to explore their feelings. Though things hadn't progressed too far…they had been quickly building to that point. Trying to force those feelings back down had been hard…much harder…than either of them had anticipated. It had felt so right…so liberating…to just be together. Even though they had no memories of who they really were, they had found each other in that place…and Jack wasn't sure if he even really understood what they meant.
All he knew was that he was in love with her and she was in love with him. And they couldn't admit it. They had to try to forget those blissful few days under the "ice" and continue like nothing had ever happened. 'Yeah, fat chance of that.' Jack thought angrily. He hated that they couldn't just be together. Damn the regs.
Jack planned on letting his full temper lash out at the bastard. In reality, McKay wasn't a bad guy and hadn't done anything…yet. It was the 'yet' that worried Jack. 'So help me…if McKay lays a finger on Carter, I swear…'
The colonel knew he sounded like a jealous, possessive son of a bitch. But, it was in his head, it didn't matter what he sounded like. He was possessive of Carter, but not in the 'she's my property' kind of way. No…she was a part of him. Or at least that's how he felt about it.
Plus, McKay was an arrogant son of a bitch. Who thought he was smarter than Carter, no less.
Jack slid his card through the slot and the blast doors opened. He stepped through and waited for the door to close behind him before speaking.
"Hey kids! What are we doing?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels, looking around at the scientists and technicians that filled the room. Some of the G.I. techs were walking around with clipboards, marking down whether or not things were in order.
The military personnel in the room all jumped to attention, saluting him. All except Carter, that is. Jack had ordered her long ago never to react that way when he entered the room. As far as he was concerned, they were equals.
Instead, Carter straightened slowly and gave him a brilliant smile. You know, the one where her nose scrunches a little and her eyes dance with a light that's meant only for him.
"Hi, sir." Her voice carried through the suddenly quiet gateroom. People were looking at Jack warily. Apparently, news of his bad mood had spread quickly.
As people resumed what they were doing a few whispers from the non-SGC personnel broke the silence, but only those nearest them could hear.
"Major Carter's military and Colonel O'Neill is her commanding officer. Why didn't she show her respect by standing at attention and saluting like the rest of us?" One man from the Pentagon asked.
Walter, who happened to be kneeling nearby, turned around and glared at the ignorant man. "Because Major Carter isn't just anyone." Walter hissed sharply. "She's Colonel O'Neill's second in command. They've been on the same team for over four years. She doesn't need to jump to attention. He knows she respects him." Walter paused. "Just like she knows he respects her."
The man from the Pentagon looked taken aback, then averted his eyes, embarrassed. He went back to his charts and Walter grinned smugly.
"What's up, Carter?" Jack walked up and peered over her shoulder at what she was doing. He pointedly ignored McKay, who was throwing him a dirty look. They hadn't been properly introduced yet…and Jack wanted to make the man sweat a little.
"Not much, sir." Sam shrugged and cocked her head to the side a little. "Just waiting for the nice people from the Pentagon to be done." She raised her voice slightly and made sure that the techs heard her.
"Ah." Jack bounced on his heels again and smiled at his second. "Snippiness, Carter?" he whispered, leaning over slightly so no one but her and McKay to hear. Sam blushed, whether it was because of his close proximity or his statement…he didn't know.
"Maybe." Sam smiled again, but didn't look away. A fact that McKay noticed.
Jack matched her grin. "I like." He said simply. Sam's blush deepened.
McKay cleared his throat loudly. Sam squeezed her eyes shut mouthed something like, "Kill me now" and pasted a fake smile on her face. Opening her eyes, and letting Jack see a spark of annoyance before putting her military mask back on, she took a step back and gestured to McKay.
"Colonel O'Neill, this is Dr. Rodney McKay. McKay, this is my commanding officer, Colonel O'Neill." Sam gave the necessary introductions and rolled her eyes when McKay purposely brushed her hand with his when going to shake Jack's.
"Colonel." He pumped Jack's hand once and squeezed tighter than necessary, as though trying to assert some authority. Jack merely gave McKay the same grip (maybe slightly stronger) and glared, putting years of practice into use.
McKay's fake cheery smile fell away instantly and he struggled to pull his hand away. After a few seconds Jack let the man go, but kept him pinned with his stare. Sam bit her lip, quickly hiding her smile. But Jack noticed.
"Hello, Mickey." Jack purposely flubbed the man's name.
McKay's eyes flashed, but he pasted on another smile. He waited, clearly expecting Sam to correct the colonel's mistake. However, when no correction came, McKay glanced behind him to find Sam looking somewhere to her left, trying desperately not to laugh.
"It's McKay. Rodney McKay." McKay said through clenched teeth. "Though I'd see where one could make that mistake."
Jack shrugged. "Yes, well…" Jack continued to glare until McKay looked away.
"So, Sam--," McKay turned his back on Jack.
"Major Carter." Sam cut him off. She sounded like she'd corrected him on this particular…slip-up…several times.
Rodney continued like she hadn't spoken. "I think we should continue our work on enhancing the stargate's energy output in its relativity to its energy input." The smug note in McKay's voice lead Jack to believe that the man was trying to throw around big words to make Jack feel like an idiot.
"Trying to cut down on cost, Major?" Jack interrupted.
Sam smiled. "Yes, sir." Squeezing her eyes shut again when Rodney nudged her pointedly. "McKay, here, thinks we can cut down on how much energy the gate draws if--," Sam stopped when McKay cut her off.
"I think that if I charge the stargate's main electrical circuit negatively the flux capacitor will insulate itself, thus providing the gate with a proverbial power source." McKay said proudly, turning back to Jack and bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Jack paused, then glanced at Sam to see if he had heard right. She averted her eyes, shaking her head, and looking very much like she was going to choke on laughter. Rodney smirked, taking Jack's silence for confusion and opened his mouth to explain in lamen's terms.
Jack held up his hand and swallowed a laugh. "Did you say flux capacitor?" When Rodney nodded, Jack shook his head with a slight grimace. "Gee…Carter?"
"Yes, sir?" Sam refused to meet his eyes; knowing that if she did she would dissolve into giggles.
"It might just be me, but…isn't that from 'Back to the Future'?" Jack frowned and put a finger to his chin in a gesture of exaggerated thought.
"Um, yes, sir." Sam answered, coughing loudly in place of giggles.
Rodney spluttered and opened and closed his mouth several times, looking, for all the world, like a fish out of water. His eyes were wide and his fingers twisted together, a bright flush building in his neck and slowly rising.
"So…" Jack smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Got a thing for Doc Brown, huh?"
This time Sam did laugh. Rodney whirled on her. "What—How--!" he spluttered again, his face quickly turning purple. "How can you just let him make fun of me?!" Rodney raised his voice and flapped his arms around. He wasn't a threat to Sam; everyone knew that. He was a good guy…he just didn't handle rejection or mocking well.
Sam didn't answer; just stared at him with her hand covering her mouth, laughter in her eyes. So Jack answered for her. "Cause I'm her CO. She has to laugh."
Rodney ignored him. "I—I thought we had, you know…" he trailed off, still speaking loudly and indignantly.
Sam stopped laughing and looked at the man like he had grown another head. "We had what?" She raised her eyebrows, daring him to continue.
"Something!" Rodney waved his arms again and looked around helplessly. "And now that I've just admitted that to everyone…"
"Wait, wait." Jack said, not sure if he should show how angry he was that the new guy had thought he and Carter had something. "You thought that you," he pointed at Rodney. "And Carter," he pointed to Sam. "Had…something?"
"Well, yeah…" Rodney struggled to slow his breathing and tried to quash the rapidly growing flush. "I mean…she is…" he gestured at Carter and raised his eyebrows, nodding his head in approval.
Big. Mistake.
Sam clenched her hands into fists and her eyes flashed dangerously, taking a threatening step towards McKay. She wasn't the only one.
Jack felt his temper, fueled by anger at the way he appraised Carter like a piece of meat, spike violently. He grabbed McKay's shoulder and spun him around, getting in his face. By now, everyone in the gateroom and in the control room had fallen silent and were watching the two officers confronting the doctor.
"She is what, McKay?" Jack growled dangerously.
"I—Nothing. I d—didn't mean anything…" Rodney stuttered trying to shy away from the enraged colonel.
"You better not have." Jack took another step towards Rodney and held up an accusatory finger, pressing it into Rodney's nose, causing the man to go cross-eyed. "Cause, so help me God, if you did--," his threat was cut off by a very pissed off throat-clearing.
Both men glanced around at Sam. Her eyes were dark with anger and her hands were on his hips in the universal sign of 'I am so not happy right now.'
"Thank you, sir, but I can do this by myself." Sam glared at both of them.
Jack's eyes widened as he looked at Carter. "I know you can, Carter. But, I--," Sam cut him off.
"No, sir." Sam knew she had crossed the line into insubordination, but…after everything that had happened in the last week or so…she needed a release. She was so angry that her freedom with Jack had been ripped away. Those few days of just being together had been…nice. Sam had never felt so relaxed. But, now…now she had to shove her feelings back beneath the surface. She had to shove a part of her so deep down that it physically hurt her to do so.
And she was angry that the colonel was letting this happen. Sam knew it was an irrational anger. She was doing the same thing. She also knew that he was having a hard time with this as well. 'Misery loves company…' Sam thought ruefully.
It really sucked to be her sometimes.
"No, sir?" Jack asked loudly, half-turning away from McKay and raising his eyebrows incredulously. Rodney took the momentary distraction and quickly stepped away from the two officers, coming to stand next to a group of techs. All eyes were on Sam and Jack.
Jack turned fully to face her. "Carter, that bastard just looked at you like you were--," For the third time Sam cut him off.
"Stop right there, colonel." Sam held up her hand, glaring at her CO.
"Don't interrupt me again, Carter." Jack growled, cocking his head angrily.
"My mistake, sir." Sam raised her hands in mock surrender, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"What are you doing, Major?" Jack asked incredulously. This was way out of character for his 2IC.
Sam opened her mouth to retort, but shut it quickly. "I don't know. I'm sorry, sir." She hung her head, hands dropping from her hips. Brushing the hair away from her forehead she looked back up at him. Instead of seeing the anger she had been expecting she saw sadness. She didn't have to ask why. He knew why she was acting like this. He knew because he was acting out for the same reason.
"Not a problem, Carter." Jack shrugged.
Sam shook her head again. "It's just these techs from the Pentagon have me on edge and--," she stopped abruptly. 'What the hell am I doing? I almost just admitted the one thing I can never admit!'
Jack understood and didn't push her to finish. That would mean the end of both their careers. He didn't care so much about his…but he would never jeopardize hers.
Never.
"They're just scientists, Carter. Screw 'em." Jack knew that this was absolute wrong thing to say the second it was out of his mouth.
Sam's eyes flashed with anger again. "Yeah, well, you're screwing me in there with them!" Sam yelled, glaring at Jack.
Everyone in the surrounding area froze. She didn't say what it sounded like she said…did she?
Three things happened at once. One: Sam's words echoed in her ears. Realizing what it sounded like she meant, she turned bright red and turned wide eyes on the colonel.
Two: Jack realized what it sounded like she meant and met her terrified eyes…and winked. He didn't know why he did it…he just hardly ever saw Sam Carter flustered.
Three: Someone began to laugh.
Which caused everyone to laugh.
Which caused Sam to duck her head and attempt to race from the room.
Jack reached out, meaning to grab her arm, but overshot it and ended up wrapping his arm around her waist. That got her to stop. It also caused everyone present to laugh harder. Taking his time removing his arm from her waist, he straightened and placed gentle hands on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Carter. That didn't come out right." He smiled reassuringly at her.
Sam mumbled something, without raising her head. Jack furrowed his brow and ducked his head to catch her eyes. "What?"
"I said," She raised her eyes to his. "Mine didn't either."
Jack laughed and, after a minute, so did Sam.
"You do realize that the video reel of this is gonna become the most popular thing in the SGC, right?" Jack asked, reluctantly releasing her shoulders.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know." Sam dropped her head into her hands and continued to laugh.
Looking around at the mirth-filled faces Jack had the feeling a graceful exit for both of them was in order.
"Cake?" he smiled charmingly, rocking back on his heels and pointing over his shoulder at the blast doors.
"Sure, sir." Sam nodded gratefully.
"After you." Jack made a sweeping motion with his arm.
Sam grinned and walked quickly out of the room.
Oh, she was never gonna live this down.
TBC
A/N: Let it be known that I don't hate Rodney McKay. I just dislike him on Stargate. He's perfectly fine when he's in another galaxy.
Far, far, far away from Sam. LOL
Please R&R!!