it took me quite a while to come up with this chapter and the next one. I had lots of fun doing it and a lot of heartbreak for making him have so much pain. btw am i portraying Jacob okay?

JPOV

I raced towards him with all the evil hatred I felt for Nauhel. When I was about to strike, Nessie got in front of the intruder. I growled at her furiously letting her now that she needed to move.

"No Jacob, stop it!" she screamed out.

I showed my sharp teeth ready to attack, making my point; I will not back away.

"if you want to hurt him, you will have to go past through me Jacob, I will not let you, never!"

I stared at her in amazement, is she serious? Does she really love this guy know? She's known him for less than 24 hours and she fell for the thing already! Unbelievable. I gave her the world, her desires, wants, wishes, my life, and what do I get in return…? …Rejection, humiliation, endless pain. I should just let a damn vampire lash my throat, what difference did it make…will that make me die with more dignity than die with so many heartbroken crushes?

I backed away and then, I simply game up.

It's over.

Why keep fighting for what I obviously can't have? The things and people I love, and desire the most will never be mine. They will always and somehow belong to that better someone, that one creature I hate and despise the most…vampires. How can they possibly hurt me more than this? They have taken everything away from me…love, compassion, friendship….life itself. All this has been in front of my stupid face all along; I will never have that someone, I will never get that 'Happily ever after'. How cheesy of me, but even me, Jacob the scary wolf has dreams of having that one person to love and be with for the rest of my life and die with her. Is it much to ask for? I always new love came with struggle, but no, not with me….it came with lost battles and wars, losing every single one.

All swelled up, ashamed of my lost battle, my once again, lost war… I simply walked away, head up…heart broken…no, destroyed, mutilated, betrayed, scarred, shattered heart of mine. However, I will not run again, with so much emotion running through me, spilling every tear for nothing, she had a new love, but how could this be? I imprinted on her, isn't that enough for her to love me forever? This didn't matter I guess, vampires always had the advantage, so unnatural nothing realistic made sense here, this doesn't go by the rules; life goes on. For now, I will just wait for the day to come, let the seconds pass, welcoming the pain and throbbing stabbing to come, the hatred to wear off, off of my lifeless life of mine, and wait…

Wait for my end, my not…so happy end.

Well, at least I was given something beautiful to appreciate and wait for…living for. Something worth waiting for, something I am not afraid; death, painless loving peace. The only thing worth for me to have, how silly of me.

Edward had some shorts ready for me to put on as I passed by him, I did not turn to look at him but just walked passed him. I didn't want his filthy shorts penetrate my skin, I had enough stinging hatred for anything that sucked blood.

I took off towards the forest, "Jacob? Jacob! Come back!" Nessie screamed at me.

Is she serious? Does she want to make my life any more miserable than it already is? What does she want to do now, stick me with needles all over my body? Hurt me till pain is not pain anymore, being worse than hell? It hurt me not doing as she told me, always wanting to please her and doing as she says. Every step I took away from her killed me silently, my heart slowly beating less and less.

"Jacob, please. Please Jacob!" She cried, as she dropped to her knees pleading me to turn to her…but why the tears? No need to cry for a strayed dog, a filthy thing like me who will never be able to be happy with. I can see now I'm such a dark person, full of loathing and hatred.

And even though she loved him, I will love her forever. Just like Bella, I will let her be happy.

NPOV

I watched him walk away, tears running down my face. Not believing what was going on with me. I had fallen for Nauhel and hadn't realized it until this right moment. But how could that be, when I was so sure I was in love with Jacob some hours ago? Was this some kind of hormonal crap my mom has been telling me about? Because if it was, I hated it. Hated for making me hurt Jacob. I didn't know what to do but cry.

Nauhel was amazing; he made me like everything about him. I couldn't get enough of him, but I had just met him for a few hours and I was already hooked on him. Was this one of those moments where I had to choose between two very important people? I mean…Jacob is in my head all day, every day, I hardly can take him out of my mind, but Nauhel is just as great and he seems like he would like to take our friendship to the next level, while Jacob doesn't even want to kiss me.

I am madly confused, and still having Jacob walk away…Did that mean he loved me as well? He is so confusing? He always tells me when the right day comes I 'will' tell you. But that day has never come. I felt my heart being compressed, and knowing that maybe this is what one feels when it is almost broken…my first love walking away.