Again, thank you to all the kind readers who left a review. This story is all about the fact that distance is only measured with the heart.

Dedicated to all of you who have loved ones far away. And to my far away loved ones.

Greveling

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Chapter 4

October 30th Afghanistan

The place was very remote and isolated. Small villages consisting of a few turf houses were the only evidence of human settlements they had seen in the past two days.

Once they had left the neighbourhood of Kabul, they had advanced to more and more desolated areas. The looks of the few people who remained by the road to watch their two vehicles pass by had seemed also increasingly hostile.

The mood of the whole group was sombre. The mission was risky, they were entering dangerous zones and for what they knew they could as well be risking their life to only get there and acknowledge that all their peers had been killed.

Brennan had been feeling sad. The journey was exhausting, consisting of hours and hours in the Humvee. The few times they had stopped they had to remain weary and alert: enemies in a territory still controlled by local tribes and Talibans, that's what they were. They spent their nights putting up a camp where soldiers were constantly guarding their safety.

She hated being powerless and useless. Until they got to the mass grave there was not much she could do. And all the inactivity made her extremely uncomfortable. Her mind was easily prey of melancholy and thoughts of longing and she found it more and more difficult to compartmentalise. She could not use her trick, focus on the details, because during those long and never ending days there was nothing she could focus on.

She had spent the evenings with Sergeant Wilcox discussing and agreeing a plan for when they arrived at destination. What sort of equipment she could use, how they were going to organise the camp and the temporary "lab" for her to complete the work of identification as fast as possible.

A couple of soldiers had invited her to join the group for some entertainment activities they would do at night, but she had always declined. She did not want to seem rude or distant, she just did not feel like spending so much time with guys who kept reminding her of Booth: same pride, same honour, same courage.

That morning one of the oldest had approached her.

"Hi Doctor Brennan, my name is Tony Scalia. I could not help but notice you are Catholic and I wandered if maybe you would like to join me and some others for our morning prayers".

Her puzzled and confused look confused the poor guy. Did he say something wrong? He knew that she was famous to be distant and unsocial, but he could not understand what was the fault in his words "What made you think I'm Catholic?" her words sounding rude in Tony's ears.

"You are wearing a catholic medal. Saint Christopher, I just assumed.."

"Oh" Brennan said retrieving the incriminated object and looking at it with a smile " yes, the medal. It's not mine, I'm an atheist actually. A person wanted me to take it with me, you know, he said I was going to need it. And he was right. This medal keeps me anchored to reality and to my home".

"Yes, I know" he said with a laugh "also my wife wanted me to take this. It's hers" he said showing her a heart shaped pendant. He opened it showing the content to Brennan. There were two tiny photos inside. One of a smiling woman, probably the wife, and one of two children, not older than 8. "All the other guys keep teasing me for this pendant.. you know, not very manly" he continued obviously happy he could just talk with someone about his family "but I could not survive here one single day without this silly heart. It's my life, there is my life here inside, and I need to see their faces every night before I fall asleep."

"They are very lucky, Tony, and they will be so happy when you are back home".

"I'm sure your boyfriend is missing you as much as you are missing him, and when you give his medal back he will never want to let you both go again". He smiled at her and then apologised quickly, the other guys were waiting for him.

Why didn't you correct him? She thought by herself. Booth is not my boyfriend. Still why did she like so much the picture Tony has sketched for her? Booth as her boyfriend never wanting to be apart from her again: it sounded so good.

One thing was sure: it had never been so difficult and painful for her to be apart from someone since she lost her family.

She knew it had to mean something, and she promised herself that once home she was going to discover exactly what it was.

On the fifth day they finally arrived and met the first unit which had been sent to investigate the mass grave. They seemed all excited and happy for their arrival, especially for her. Those men were waiting for her to give them answers, she was going to be the one to determine when they were all going back to Kabul. Sadly, she was also going to be the one to ascertain how many of their buddies did not make it and it was only due to her that some families were going to mourn a loss. For the first time she had the doubt that her job was as good as she had always believed.

Part of the temporary lab had been already set up under a big tent, and Brennan was pleased to find that good part of the remains retrieved had already been boxed and transferred under the tent.

Before sunset everything had been arranged: who was going to assist her in the identification (two marines with medical school background) and who was going to continue to get the remains out of the grave. Brennan and Wilcox estimated that analysis and assessment of all remains was going to take not less than a week and that in case they found many marines among them, the correct identification of each of them was going to take probably another week.

It was already late when she could finally be alone. She missed that, some space for herself. A mild excitement was taking her over. At last she could start do what she was there for: work, do her anthropology thing (as Booth would phrase it), help retrieve their men, dead or alive, and then go home.

Like it always happened when silence came down she found herself thinking about him. What was he doing now? Was he working on a case without her? It was Monday, she knew that he had just spent a weekend with Parker. She felt happy for him, he was always cheerful and at peace with the world after spending time with his son.

Brennan suddenly realised how intimate they had become: she knew what made him happy, or sad, or angry. And she found herself amazed at how well she could empathise with him, only him. She was a better person because he was in her life, and the thought of that made her almost cry.

Am I also good for you Booth? Is your life a tiny bit better since I came into it? And are you missing me while you eat your pies alone at the diner? Of course Booth is not alone, he can certainly find someone to eat with…

A pang of jealousy struck her while she was picturing Booth at the diner with Cam… or worse, Agent Perotta. She tossed in her sleeping back with the uncomfortable sensation that jealousy was irrational especially since Booth was not hers, yet she couldn't help feeling the stinging pain in her heart at the thought that Booth was not missing her and worse, maybe he had someone else to hang around.

October 30th Washington DC

Booth looked at the stack of papers lying on his desk, piled up as if teasing him. That Monday morning he didn't have the concentration but especially the patience to go through all the boring admin.

He had just had a great weekend, Parker had stayed with him since after school Friday till after dinner the evening before. The weather had been great and not too cold, so they had spent plenty of time outside playing, talking, exploring and just simply having fun together. He loved his kid and was so proud of him.

But coming back home alone after taking Parker back to Rebecca's, made Booth feel extremely lonely. His home was not his son's, Parker called home somewhere else. His place seemed suddenly cold and empty reflecting like a mirror how he was perceiving his life.

He had not felt so lonely and sad since Rebecca had turned him down and he had to face paternity from a very complicated and difficult angle. What had made him suffer most at the time, was the lack of connection he had felt with Rebecca: having a child is such a mind and heart blowing experience that you really, really need to share it. But he had been alone in that, the mother of his child had been just busy with her own issues. And she had kept distance to make him understand that they were never going to be a couple, child or no child.

He had never really got to think of how much pain he had suffered, of how empty and superficial were the other relationships he had after that. But now, alone in his apartment, he felt unable to let a bit of warmth in his heart. Why now, man? He thought to himself.

In the last couple of years, after dropping Parker at the end of their weekend together, Booth had made of a habit to drive to the Jeffersonian where Brennan was still busy working her weekend out. Every time the same scene: he would walk in her office, make a preach about weekends needing to be free time, she would retort that spending time writing her book was her way of having fun and relax and then he would convince her to grab something to eat together. He was almost positive that the routine was so consolidated that probably Brennan was actually waiting for him and would have been disappointed not to see him coming.

And then they spent the evening together talking. He could always share with her all the nice things he did with Parker, she laughed at his childlike behaviour and he pretended to be offended. But she was there, with him, listening, really listening to him while he shared.

He had never stopped to think about it before, of how much they shared. How intimate they had become. And like a cold shower he felt the shock of missing her even more than he already knew.

All of a sudden he realised while he had felt so lonely and sad this weekend: because without her he was really alone. With her, as a partner and friend, he just had got used to have much more, so much more than he ever had with all his ex's. Not only company, but someone who is understanding you, accepting you and willing to share your heart.

He smiled. Do you know Bones how good you are for me? How much better and full is my life since you are in it? Where are you now? Are you missing me, at least a bit? Are you scared? How are you doing among all those marines? Are you mingling or are you staying aside? I'm so sure that quite a few of them are so fascinated by your beauty, intelligence and confidence. How do you like spending all your time constantly around 20 and more men?

He suddenly thought that he really did not like the image he was getting in his head, Brennan being the only woman in a camp full of men.

Was he jealous? Yeah, that was exactly it. The fact that she was only his working partner didn't mean anything. He cared for her, he loved her. He had all the right to feel jealous…

Knock knock. "Agent Booth, are you day dreaming? Didn't you get enough sleep last night" said Agent Perotta with a malicious grin. She entered his office and sat on the chair in front of him without being invited to come in.

"Just had a busy weekend with my kid… and last thing I feel like doing is throwing myself in all this admin papers." Replied Booth with half smile. "but you gotta do what you gotta do right?" His answer was trying to cut short the conversation with the beautiful blonde in front of him.

She got it and stood up. "I heard that you are currently without a partner. Where is Doctor Brennan?"

"Busy with a different work assignment." His face remained emotionless.

"Don't you mind working alone? If Doctor Brennan is not going to be available for a while, we could request Cullen to pair us up. What do you think?"

"Doctor Brennan could end her assignment anytime, so I don't think I'll have to work alone for long. I don't think you should bother disturbing Cullen".

"I'm sure Cullen will approve the fact that I could really learn a lot by working paired with you even for a short time, until Doctor Brennan returns, I mean" and after hesitating she added "unless you feel strongly against having another partner..."

"Honestly, I do feel strongly against having another partner. But I'm ok to follow difficult cases together, if Bones is not back yet".

Perotta smiled at him and left, apparently satisfied with his answer and what she had got from him.

Booth sat down on his chair again and wondered if after Brennan he was ever going to be able to be happy with any other partner but her. No, definitely not, and what shocked him was that even in the hypothesis of being more personally engaged with her, being romantically involved with her, still he didn't want to work with anybody else. He wanted her, all of her, all for him. That was a scary thought.

With a long sigh he stretched his arm and attacked the first sheet of the pile, in the end he could not spend the next month or so just thinking about Bones and his feeling for her. "Focus on the details". He immersed himself in his work and the world around him disappeared again.

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Ok, a few days and then we can get the last february episode of Bones. Fox is sort of sadic sometimes. Still I am so grateful they brought B&B in my life. Just so much fun!

Have a nice weekend, folks. Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you like and what you hate.

Grev