This chapter includes chapter 27 of Nobody Sees Me Wishing

I had never forgotten a full moon in my life. I always counted off the days in my head, on a calendar, always calculating how long I had until the next transformation. It was my obsession and I wasn't able to forget about it.

Until today.

I ignored all the signs (irritability, drowsiness, that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach) and managed to keep my focus on one thing: Ivy's birthday tomorrow.

I had managed to get her the perfect present - parchment, a new quill, and an engraved ink bottle. I couldn't wait to see her face when I would give it to her. The whole scene played out in my head - her eyes would light up and she would do that small smile of hers.

Even the thought made me smile.

I didn't even care that my friends wouldn't stop teasing me about it. They didn't understand; it wasn't because I was trying to impress her. I just wanted Ivy to be happy. What was wrong with that? A lot, according to James and Sirius. They insisted that I was in love with her.

But I couldn't let myself be in love with her. I wouldn't do that to her.

"Moony, are you okay?"

I looked up from my essay and found James, Sirius and Peter standing in front of me, staring at me like I was crazy.

"I'm working on Slughorn's essay," I responded, thinking that they meant my studying. They always thought I worked too much.

"No, we mean..." Sirius began, leaning forward. "Tonight."

I blinked. "Tonight?" I repeated slowly. It was the night before Ivy's birthday and...

Full moon.

I had to choke in a breath as my body refused to let me breathe. How did I forget about the full moon? How did I forget about the worst night of the month?

James noticed my hesitation.

"You don't look okay."

I frowned. "Do I ever?" I didn't mean to snap at him. I wasn't even mad at him; I was mad at myself. I had let myself forget about the full moon. And now I had to look forward to an awful night.

And what about tomorrow?

"Don't worry about it, Moony," Sirius suddenly said. "I'm sure by tomorrow you'll be good as new."

-x-

"Okay, so I was wrong."

I managed to roll my eyes while staring up at the stark white ceiling of the hospital wing. With a sigh, I breathed out a weak, "I'll live."

But I felt like dying. I didn't deserve to live.

James chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You're being melodramatic." I turned to look at him. He grinned and said, "Oh, I know exactly what you're thinking. Oh, I just want to die now, someone put me out of my misery because this whole world is so cruel!"

They couldn't see my half-smile because of the huge bandage covering the left side of my face. Sirius had tried to calm me down last night and the wolf decided that he didn't like that. "I wasn't that dramatic," I defended myself.

They stayed for a few more minutes before I had to convince them to leave for Potions. They wanted to skip, but I insisted that they had to go because if they didn't, I would have to get my homework from someone else. Which, come to think of it, would probably be a better bet.

As they were leaving, I remembered the present that was in my bag that was hanging off of the bed post. With a shuddering sigh, I realized that I was going to miss her birthday.

And I had promised her that I was going to be there. So much for my promises. Once again, the werewolf ruined everything.

I began angrily picking off the lint on the bed sheets. I wasn't even that bad – just sore with a couple bruises and scratches. I could still show up for dinner and give Ivy her present.

Madame Pomfrey frowned deeply as I shuffled in the bed.

No, I wasn't ever getting out of here.

"Moooooooooony!" I must have drifted off to sleep because, in what only seemed a couple minutes later, Sirius had ran into the room and jumped onto my bed. "We brought you something!" He threw down scribbled notes in front of me. "We wrote down all of the assignments from today. Knock yourself out."

Madame Pomfrey came bustling up to my bed and practically pushed Sirius away. "Time to change that bandage."

It was strange – none of my scratches seemed to just heal with magic. There was always an ugly bruise or cut left.

I waited patiently as Madame Pomfrey took her time, thoroughly analyzing the cut before putting on a new bandage. "Just one more night, Mr. Lupin, and then you're free to go."

One more night. One day after Ivy's birthday.

There was the sound of chairs being pulled up next to my bed and then Sirius asked, "You feeling better after the night from hell? Get enough rest?"

I frowned, looking down at the bed. My night from hell had to ruin Ivy's day too.

"Something a matter?" James pried when I didn't answer.

I wasn't going to tell them that I had missed Ivy's birthday. Instead, I reassured them that everything was fine, but then Peter spoke up.

"It was Ivy's birthday today! He bought her a present."

I didn't even know that he knew. I knew that James and Sirius had grins on their faces without even looking up. Bracing myself for the teasing, I looked up.

Sirius was smirking. "You missed your little girlfriend's birthday?"

The tone of his voice made me cringe. "I'm hurt and you're still making fun of me?" I tried to make him feel guilty, though I knew it wouldn't work.

James smiled. "You're avoiding the question."

I found myself too weak to argue. "Okay, so, I bought her something. It doesn't mean anything-"

"You fancy her," Sirius interrupted me. I cringed again. "Remus Lupin and Ivy Bennett – together forever."

"Stop..." I couldn't let that happen. We couldn't be together. Why was he teasing me about this? "You can't make fun of the person who's already lying in bed with half of their face mauled away."

James just rolled his eyes. "Sure we can."

I think Peter wanted to see how far James and Sirius would go with this. That was the only explanation I could gather from what he said next. "He has her present in his bag."

James and Sirius exchanged a quick look before they launched themselves at my bag.

"No, guys, don't!" I tried, knowing that it was useless.

They brought out her presents, staring at them with wide eyes like I bought her a diamond ring or something extravagant. It was only writing supplies.

"Whoa, Moony, you went all out," James exclaimed, completely in awe of just a simple present.

It didn't even matter if they thought I went "all out." A sigh escaped my lips as I said, "What does it matter? I missed her birthday anyway." What if I had hurt her? What if she was mad? My breath stopped in my throat.

A silence fell over the room. I ignored the burning sensation in my throat and began to pick off all the lint on the sheets again.

"Listen," Sirius suddenly said. "Maybe I can...I don't know...go get her or something."

At three in the morning and disrupt her sleep? She'd hate me even more for that. I shook my head, looking up at Sirius. "It's three in the morning, Padfoot. I don't want to just wake her up because-"

He was giving me a strange look, which caused my voice to trail off. "I'm sure she would want to see you," he insisted. "If not, she'll want to after she realizes how much you want to see her."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Would she be angry that I woke her up for this? Or would she be relieved that I didn't forget about her birthday? I stayed silent.

"Just wait here," Sirius exclaimed, and then disappeared with the Invisibility Cloak.

"I'm not going anywhere," I tried to joke.

James gave me a strange look, as if my joke wasn't even worth the effort.

I watched the doors open as Sirius left and wondered if Ivy would actually come back with him.

-x-

"Remus?"

A soft voice interrupted my sleep, jolting me awake even though it was barely spoken. I recognized that voice.

"Ivy." I didn't even have to look to see if it was her. I waited, letting my eyes adjust to the bad lighting and saw that it was her, standing in front of her, nervously wringing her hands.

She stared at me for a few long moments and then said, "I'm sorry."

Sorry for what? Why was she sorry? Sorry that I had gotten hurt? It was her birthday – her day. "No, I'm sorry," I said, "I missed your birthday."

She slowly took in a couple breaths, tears forming in her eyes. "It's okay, I mean, you're hurt – you have an excuse -"

How could she be worried about me? I was used to this – it was a monthly occurrence when her birthday was once a year. I chuckled at her selflessness. "You shouldn't be worried about me. It was your birthday - your day. That reminds me. Happy belated birthday."

I looked over at her presents that were now sitting on the table next to me. She took a couple steps forward, staring at the objects in front of her.

I waited with baited breath for her reaction.

What if she hated them?

No, she couldn't hate them. She loved writing – this was the perfect present.

But what if she didn't want a present from me? I shuddered at the thought.

She took the items in her hands and stared at them for the longest time. Scenarios played in my mind of her throwing them at the wall, yelling, walking away, frowning, crying in disgust.

"Thank you," she then said, taking my breath away. "It's amazing, Remus."

Without even a warning, she turned and placed all of her weight onto the bed and threw her arms around me, hitting an awful bruise.

"Ow," I groaned.

And then she let go before I could even enjoy her embrace. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking," was her quick excuse.

But I wasn't even thinking about the pain, because Ivy hugged me. She wasn't mad or disappointed. She was grateful.

I smiled at her. "It's okay."

And it was more than okay.

CHAPTER TWO. Wrote in a computer lab with creepers all around me. Why? My computer is dead.

Suddenly I See will be updated when...I have a computer again? Or maybe I'll try using the home computer. We'll see. Oh, I posted a video about Suddenly I See on my YouTube. There's a link at the top of my profile.

Oh, by the way, I lost the Quibbler Awards. Didn't even get runner-up. Oh well.

Thanks for reading.