Chapter 30-31 of Nobody Sees Me Wishing
When I saw her staring at us, her face deathly white and eyes wide with fear, I knew that I wasn't going to have the strength to tell her my secret.
I thought about it almost every night before falling asleep. I thought about just telling her "I'm a werewolf, but it's going to be okay," but every time I planned out the scenario in my head, Ivy's reaction was always the same.
Screaming and running.
I shuddered, forcing myself to keep my eyes open. It was after midnight, and all I wanted to do was sleep and forget my problems. But, every time I closed my eyes, that look of fear on Ivy's face came to mind.
A look of absolute terror.
Groaning, I rolled over and forced myself to keep my eyes closed. I had to fall asleep sooner or later and if I just kept my eyes closed and didn't think of Ivy screaming or running away from me in fright…
My eyes snapped open.
Was my imagination playing tricks on me now? Sitting up slightly, I strained to hear another sound, waiting with a pounding heart. Maybe it was just because I was thinking about it –
A muffled scream interrupted my thoughts – the same sound I heard earlier. I hesitated for a second, and when the scream continued, I quickly pushed the covers away and quietly made my way over to the door.
There was a silence as I walked down the staircase into the common room. I was sure this is where I heard the sound – it couldn't have just stopped –
As soon as I landed on the bottom step, a short scream startled me. Something was moving violently on the couch, screaming bloody murder as if someone was going to kill them.
My heart thudding madly, I took a few steps closer to see that it was a girl – and not just any girl. Without even thinking, I had crossed the empty space between us and kneeled down in front of her. She was crying and screaming and thrashing about and I didn't know what to do.
"Ivy!" I didn't know if I could touch her without her lashing out on me. "Wake up, it's okay!" I watched her helplessly for a second, wanting to stop her from screaming and crying. Bracing myself for the impact, I leaned forward and grabbed her arms, holding them back from attacking me. "Shh, it's okay," I said softly, hearing her screams slowly die down to whimpers.
She immediately latched onto me, grabbing me into a tight hug as she buried her face into my shirt. She was shaking her head, clutching desperately onto me. My breath caught in my throat. "They're going to kill me," she kept muttering over and over.
What could possibly want to kill her? "What's going to kill you?" I tried to ask.
But I didn't get an answer. Instead, Ivy continued shaking her head, sobbing uncontrollably.
I was lost. I couldn't help her. I couldn't do anything for her.
"I need...leave..." Ivy choked out, her voice muffled by the fabric.
But she didn't move. She just wrapped her arms tighter around me, as if she expected me to do something. I couldn't take her to the dormitories; I didn't know the spell that James and Sirius created to get past the charm. And I couldn't just leave her here when she was begging to leave.
Sighing to myself, I moved my arms underneath her and lifted her off of the couch. She was surprisingly light, considering I didn't do much heavy lifting.
My breath caught when she wrapped her arms around my neck and hid back into my shirt. Ignoring the fact that I had Ivy Bennett in my arms and I was taking her up to the guys' dormitory, I slowly began making my way up the staircase.
She never moved from her spot. It unnerved me that she trusted me with every step. She blindly trusted me with wherever I was taking her; no questions asked.
Kicking open the dormitory door, I slowly walked inside, and after making sure that the others were still asleep, made my way over to my bed and placed Ivy down.
She stirred and I panicked. What if she hated me for bringing her up here? What if she thought I was implying something else?
I turned away to take in a deep breath.
Well, after all of that screaming, she would want something to drink. I conjured up a glass of water and, after taking in another slow breath, moved the hangings to see Ivy staring back at me.
She didn't look mad though.
Instead, she just stared at me, her eyes never wavering from mine. "Drink this," I whispered, handing her the glass. She took it carefully, still staring at me when she took a sip.
She didn't flinch away from me and I hesitated for a second, wondering if she would let me sit down next to her – she was on a bed after all. And it was my bed.
Ivy Bennett was on my bed.
Maybe I should just leave her alone…
But she didn't seem afraid or disgusted by the fact I brought her here. And I wasn't going to do anything with her.
Slowly, I climbed in next to her, closing the hangings behind me. I didn't want any of my roommates to wake up and see her here. They would never end the teasing.
"Are you okay?" I asked her softly as I watched her intently, searching for any signs that she wanted me to leave.
She began shaking her head again, slowly, as if she wasn't sure herself.
I paused, watching as she took slow breaths, nervously biting her lip. I didn't want to pry, but I found myself asking a question before I could stop myself. "What happened?"
She coughed, looking down at the bed covers. "I...had a bad dream."
"What else?" I winced as I continued to pry. This was probably the last thing she wanted.
"What happened last week?"
And now, she was the one doing the prying. I had no clue what she already knew. But I couldn't tell her what I was. She would run away and never talk to me again. That was the last thing I wanted. "I..." I couldn't ever tell her, not if I wanted her trust. "It's complicated..."
She breathed in sharply and said, "The Dark Arts?"
My eyes widened as I turned my head to look at her. She thought that I was dabbling in the Dark Arts – something inherently evil. I didn't want her to think I was evil – it wasn't my fault that I was a werewolf. I wasn't evil. "No, it's nothing like that. Is that what you were thinking?"
She didn't answer, embarrassed at her guess. I smiled to reassure her and said, "It's nothing to worry over. Don't you ever worry about me."
She just smiled back at me and snuggled up into my covers.
I watched her for a second, wondering if I should go back down to the common room and sleep on the couch. But, I couldn't just leave her in the dormitory alone.
She didn't protest as I quietly shifted, moving to the opposite side of the bed. As long as I didn't touch her, I could do this.
But all I could hear was her soft breathing and I knew she was right there – next to me. I couldn't even close my eyes; I'm sure I didn't get any sleep that night.
-x-
I stirred, my eyes immediately opening. I couldn't tell whether I actually fell asleep or I was just resting, but when I checked the time, I saw that it was already seven.
Seven – I made it through the night.
Turning slightly, I felt the presence of someone next to me, only a touch away. I focused my eyes, straining to see her in the darkness, and saw her figure curled up next to me, sleeping soundly.
I breathed in slowly, ignoring the way my heart started pounding and inched away to get out of the bed.
The others wouldn't be up for awhile. I still had time to get ready and get Ivy back to her dormitory before anything happened.
It took me only half the time to get ready. My mind kept wandering back to the sleeping girl in my bed and I wanted to go and comfort her before anyone else realized she was there.
In the middle of putting on my tie, I opened the door into the dormitory, too anxious to see Ivy to even wait.
My breath stopped when I saw James and Sirius surrounding her, practically hovering over the bed with grins on their faces.
This couldn't end well.
Instead of subjecting myself to their teasing, I quickly rushed over to Ivy and pulled her out of my bed, hurrying out of the dormitory and down the staircase.
"I am so sorry," I immediately started apologizing. She could have thought that I planned it – I didn't want her to think that I was just trying to get her into my bed. She didn't deserve that kind of teasing. "I didn't think they'd get up that early."
"It's okay," she said without pause. I could have sighed in relief, but we just fell into an awkward silence. What was I supposed to say after a situation like that?
"Thanks for everything Remus," Ivy broke the silence.
I smiled at her soft words. "You're welcome."
She pointed toward the girls' staircase and said, "I'm gonna go get dressed now."
Nodding, I watched as she made her way up to her dormitory. I eyed my own dormitory, hesitating about going back up there. Deciding against it, I headed down to the Great Hall to escape the teasing (at least for now).
I couldn't believe it. Ivy Bennett had voluntarily spent the night with me. No disgust or hesitation at all. I couldn't help but think that she might – no, it was impossible.
She couldn't fancy me – she was too good for me.
My roommates came down to breakfast in record time, almost skipping into the Great Hall when they caught sight of me. I immediately looked down at my piece of toast and hoped that they wouldn't say anything.
But, really, who was I kidding?
"Mooooooonnnnyyyyyyy..." I heard Sirius whine from a couple meters away. I didn't dare look up. "Remmmmyyyy..." He kept trying as he sat next to me, practically bouncing up and down in his seat.
"Hello," I mumbled quietly, bracing myself for the onslaught of questions to come.
"How was your night?"
The innuendo in that sentence almost made me flinch. Instead, I rolled my eyes and said, "For your information, we didn't do anything. We slept in the same bed, but that's all we did. Sleep. You know, where you close your eyes and rest?"
Looking up, I saw James sit down across from us. "Denial," he exclaimed.
I held back a frustrated sigh. There was no way there were going to believe that I had a girl in my bed just because she was having nightmares. "No, I'm telling the truth. We never touched each other."
"What are you talking about?" I heard Peter ask.
I wasn't about to explain. Though Sirius was. "Moony here had a wild night with none other than Ivy Bennett."
I flinched again and then caught sight of her sitting down away from us. She probably didn't want to be teased all the way through breakfast. I couldn't blame her. I sighed when James and Sirius started grinning in her direction.
Looking away, I saw Peter watching me with wide eyes. "You...did...stuff with her?"
It was lucky for them that I had lots of patience. "No," I insisted. "I didn't-"
"It's okay if you did-" James tried to reassure me about something that didn't even happen.
I sighed again, though it came out as almost a growl. "Guys, nothing happened!"
The image of killing Sirius came to mind when he started chuckling. "Ah, Moony. Don't be shy. Just fess up already."
I had to look down at the table and start to massage my temples to make the image of killing everyone not a reality. "We. Did. Not. Do. Anything."
Why couldn't they believe that?
As you can probably tell, there won't be a chapter for every situation from Nobody Sees Me Wishing. Just certain instances, like this one. Don't worry – it'll be impossible to get lost. You'll know.
And I hope you're enjoying this story. I like writing it – it's a nice change. I'll try to update more often.
Thanks to Nathpollen for editing this chapter. You're awesome.
And everyone reading is also awesome. Thanks.