Several people had been admitted to the hospital. They were all older civillians and shinobi who had known Naruto for years before his banishment. Each seemed to have suffered a small heart attack and were all in severe cases of shock. The reason: Naruto Uzumaki, the loudmouth, knuckleheaded, unpredictable, Here-I-Am-Kill-Me-Orange wearing, ramen devouring Hokage-To-Be...had refused the position of Hokage.

Not long after this delcaration in the middle of a street, ANBU had shown up and many had asked the Konoha Twelve if they had brought back the right Naruto. It was confirmed that he was the real Naruto, but one of the bigger shockers was the revelation that he was no longer the vessel for the nine tailed fox, the bijuu which had killed so many people was free inside a human body. That was what scared people.

The council were in a meeting right now to discuss this latest development.

"If he no longer has the Kyubi then he is usless" some nameless villager demanded the attention of the others residing in the council chambers within the Hokage tower.

"Useless is he?" Hiashi asked the villager. "Then please explain to us how you believe that three of our top jounin were severly beaten to a pulp and one was ripped apart by a sword technique? Or did they do that to themselves? Think about this. If news got out about Naruto being able to do something like this without so much as breaking a sweat then imagine how well it would look in our records and to the other hidden villages. Naruto Uzumaki is the hero of several villages, Suna, Nami, Hoshi, Taki, Tsuki, Oni, not to mention the land of birds. If they found out Naruto returned to us then they'll jump to our side in an instant".

Tsunade decided she needed to rain on this parade of thought. "Yes, but imagine if Naruto declares himself hostile to us. The other villages will turn against us and Iwa, Kumo, Kusa and Oto will be on our backs in minutes. Not to mention they'll try to get him on to their side".

"Iwa will demand they have nothing to do with him unless execute him. We already spread the news that he was the Yondaime's son, Minato's one and only kid. Once that reached Iwa they'll be hear sooner than you can say "Minato Namikaze'" Ino agreed. Being the daughter of the head Yamanaka, Ino was next in line and as such was on the council. Chouza and Shikaku were there as Shikamaru and Chouji were in no shape to attend a council meeting.

"Shizune how is Chouji's condition?" Chouza asked the faithful medic nin. The black haired belle smiled. "After talking with Naruto, they way the jutsu works is sort of an anger management jutsu. It hurts the user but puts them in to a coma so they do not feel pain" she grimanced at this. "Anyway, once Chouji is all healed up, it's will be as if nothing happened. The cuts are designed to slowly repair themselves. He didn't really want to hurt Chouji at all. They Jutsu was apparently created by Isaribi when she was going through her periods and pregnancy and Naruto got on her badside. He knows how it feels, apparently you jst go numb. It's also good for tricking your enemies to believing their comrad is dead so you can take him for interrigation".

"And he just told you that?"

"No, Chibinaru did. Naruto denied that he even used that jutsu on purpose and was supposed to use a more lethal one. The child is very good at healing jutsu".

"Where is he now?"

"Yelling at the doctors for using herbs and jutsu that 'slowly' heal patients. He has so many herbal techniques and jutsu's to do with healing I wouldn't have thought that he was Naruto's child. He's even politer than Naruto".

"Must have been his mother's influence"

"Must have been"

"This is even more proof that the child should stay here and be put with a different family. The skills the child knows and the potential. With us to mold him he could become our greatest weapon" another villager announced. "I say we take the child from it's father, kill the man and go after the demon incarnate and use the child in the war" his friend said.

Shikaku rolled his eyes. "Oh sure lets do that. How 'bout we just pop over to your home's right now. I believe you have a two year old daughter don't ya? Let's put her in to our seduction interogation unit for the war. Then we'll keep her under lock and key". The ninja could not help but try to hide their laughter from his sarcasm. "Or better yet lets just put her on the front lines".

"You'll do no such thing!"

"Then Chibinaru will have no part in our war. Nor will he be our weapon. Are you channelling Danzo, I though we were finally done with him. I'm suprised Hell hasn't spat him back out yet, along with Orochimaru" Chouza quipped.

"Okay that's enough. This council was called so I may run my plan by you. It's how we're going to get Naruto to stay with us and become our Hokage. From evidence provided over the years, and his recent strength and skill against enemies..." Hiashi cut in by here. "But they were not enemies!". Tsunade shook her blonde head. "To Naruto they were. Now we all know Naruto is most suited for the job with his skills and fear factor. But he won't stay. This is my plan...".

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"When I get out of these I am going to castrate you all with a spoon!" Naruto threatened as he struggled against his binds. Ink wraps, wooden bonds, chains, snakes, kikai bugs, ropes and seals. "I swear to you all, you'll all be begging me to rip out your inards. Let me go!".

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the threats given to him and his fellow ninja's. Yamato looked nervous as he stood next to Sai, both afraid that Naruto would go through with his promise. "Let me free". Sasuke growled animalistically. "Shut up Dobe". Kiba snickered on the other side of the room next to Shino. "Hey, hey Naruto, you should calm down. How's about we get you some ramen?"

"Try and you'll be needing to be fed through a rubber tube for years to come Dog-butt!" Naruto retaliated.

Kakashi kept giving Naruto appraising looks. Gai and Lee stood across from him and tried to cheer up Naruto. "Hey, Hey Naruto-kun, your flames of youth are impressive, but they still are dim in your unyouthful approach to life". Gai shouted in Naruto's face. Lee followed asuit. "Hai, Naruto-kun. Your unyouthfulness is being forced on to an impretionable pinacle of youth. Young Chibinaru is probably suffering from your unyouthful tendicies!".

"If you two don't cut that crap out I will be sure to castrate the pair of you then use the Waters of Age to kill your Flames of Youth!" the blonde man threatened. "Don't tell me how to raise my kids. What you've done to Lee, Gai, is nothing short of child abuse!".

"Naruto that is most un-youthfull".

"That's It! Lee I'm castrating you first!"

At that moment Sakura walked in to the holding room where they were currently containing Naruto. She had heared the last part and giggled. "Naruto" she said happily. "Hn, you say something Pinky?". Now the old Sakura would have exploaded in a fit of rage and smacked Naruto across the face with one of her super punches. The new Sakura simply winced and walked forward to Naruto holding a tray of food. "Don't talk to her like that!" Sasuke ordered Naruto with anger in his voice.

"No, it's okay, Sasuke. It's fine. Here Naruto I brought you some tea. It has milk so I hope you like it" she said lifting the cup up and offering it to him. Begrudgingly Naruto accepted it. "This better not have any truth serum in it Haruno, or I'll make sure you pay for it" he warned before sipping the tea. Sakura continued to tilt it in to Naruto's mouth, like a mother giving her teething baby milk.

Sasuke glared at the scene before the door next to him opened up wide and all the way, effectively squashing and trapping Sasuke behind the back of the door. "Tou-san!" Chibinaru exclaimed. Thankfully Sakura had known he was coming and had taken the cup away from Naruto's mouth before any damage could be done. The little tyke became a blur of black, red and blonde which collided with Naruto's donfined form. "Haku! Are you alright?" Naruto asked his son.

The little boy nodded. "Hai, but this scary old bat keeps chasing me".

"Who you calling a scary old bat, you little brat?" a voice called out which made Naruto sweat uncontrolabley. He averted his eyes to the door to see the only thing on the same level of scariness as a pissed Tsunade. Anko Mitarashi, the purple haired special Jounin who had proctored the second stage of the chunin exams and who had accompanied Ino, Shino and Naruto to the land of the Sea where they met Isaribi.

"AHHH! DEMONIC SNAKE QUEEN!" Naruto exclaimed trying to edge his chair away from her. The purple haire jounin felt her eye twitch and she cracked her knuckles. "Uhh, what was that blondie?". Naruto continued to edge away from her feeling dangerously close to letting Haku become and orphan. "Oh nothing".

"Anko" a voice Naruto recognised from years ago but could not place the image or name called after the snake jounin. "Kaa-san!" another voice cried. Naruto's ears perked up, before he began to snicker. "You a mother? Who's the...Holy Crap, Iruka-sensei?". True Iruka had skidded in to the room holding a child under his arms. The child looked like a miniture Iruka, but with a pair of unruley brown bangs framming his face (at least Naruto thought it was a he). His eyes were like Anko's aswell but his skin was tanned like Iruka's. Add a scar across his nose, cut his bangs, give him contacts and you'd think Iruka shrunk in the wash.

Sasuke and Kiba grumbled under their breathe staring murderously at Naruto. "Sure you use his name but to us you just through insults. Thanks alot Naruto" Sasuke growled.

"Naruto?" the little guy under Iruka's arm asked his father. He crooked his neck up so it was pointing at Iruka's face. "That Naruto, Tou-san?" the child asked. Iruka nodded and within seconds the child was gone, only to be found having pushed Haku in to Sakura's arms and hugging the trapped Naruto. "Onni-chan!" he cried imbedding his little face as far in to Naruto's chest as he could.

A few minutes of silence before...

"Hey, Iruka-sensei, who the hell is this little gaki?" Naruto asked. Iruka and Anko sweatdropped as the child began to bounce on Naruto's lap. "Hey, hey, don't cha know, Aniki? I'm your otouto". Naruto froze looking down at the little child with weary eyes. "Uh, you are?". The child nodded enthusiastically. "Hai. We even have the same name. Naruto. You're Naruto Uzumaki and I'm Naruto Umino".

"Get away from my tou-san, bastard" Haku cried from Sakura's arms,

"Chibinaru" Sakura scolded.

"Haku, what have I told you about swearing?" Naruto asked his son raising an accusing eyebrow to the five year old in the pink haired woman's arms. The child gave off a large foxy grin, complete with shut eyes, before exclaiming.

"Swear like a sailor and kick the crap out of anyone who tells you off"

"That's my boy"

Anko gave Iruka a grin before attaching herself to his arm. "Ya know, I like his parenting methods" she whispered before Iruka began to blanche. Great, now Anko was going to teach their Naruto that and the village will never hear the end of it. "So what should you do Haku?" Naruto asked a malichious glint in his eyes. The small child grinned before elbowing Sakura in the side. It was a sharp jab which caused the med-nin to gasp out in pain. "Ah" she exclaime letting go of Chibinaru who lept up on to his fathers lap trying to strangle the third Naruto. "Leave my tou-san alone".

"He's my aniki"

"Well, he's my tou-san"

"aniki"

"Tou-san"

"ANIKI"

"TOU-SAN"

"Ya know" Naruto interuppted. "I had a dream like this once, only instead of two little brats with the same name as me, they were teo gorgeous hot women. They were fighting over me and who was going to feed me pocky. Ahhhhh, sweet, sweet, pocky". Suddenly Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Will someone get me some damn pocky I'm starving in this hole!".

Just then Tsunade decided to make her appearance. "Well I see we're getting along alright." she stated as she walked up to Naruto's chair. "I don't know if you consider me threatning to castrate most of them with a spoon 'Getting along' Tsunade-sama" he drawled the -sama out as if it were something disguting you needed to spit out.

The kunoichi flinched at her adoptive grand-son's words. Where was the ray of sunshine now when they most needed him. Buried under bitterness, hatred and pain. Tsunade stood infron of the chair with her arm stretched out. Naruto looked in to her eyes, just before she flicked him on the forehead sending him flying back in to the wall behind him.

"gah" he cried as he went flying.

Tsunade smirked and advanced on the man who was now bleeding from his forehead. The young man growled at her as the other occupants of the room tensed afraid of what Tsunade was going to do to the poor kid. When she reached Naruto she drapped her arms around him and pulled him in to a bone crushing hug. "It is so good to see you again Naru-chan" she said as Naruto's face turned blue.

The others snickered at his reaction. "Can't-BREATH!" he wheezed as Tsunade continued to strangle him with her arms.

When she was finally done manhandling the blonde she stood over him. "Naruto-kun I have a proposition for you". Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What kind of proposition?" the asked acusingly.

Tsunade broke out in to a grin. "Well, since you had me return to the village on a bet, I decided to return the favour". Naruto remained silent for a minuted before bursting out in to laughter.

"Wahhhaaa! You bet me? Tsunade I've been winning bets and ransacking casino's for the better half of a decade. With my Good Luck and you're crap luck I'm sure to win the bet".

Tsunade waited until he was finished. "The bet is that the Konoha 12 and others will fight and defeat you in a no holds match. One on One. You will fight and defeat each of our ninja from the weakest to the strongest. You may have as many weapons as you like but remember that there is to be no killing, no maiming and no permentant injuries. You must win each match to move on to the next, however should you at least one of your matches you will automatically be considered a ninja of Konoha once more. Probably chunin, jounin if we can squeeze it."

Naruto turned slowly towards Sakura. "Hey, Pinky. Did Hag's brain, small as it may be, finally discover it was being watsed and go in to her boobs? I mean there's more room down there it's like a retirement home". He was met by a punch to the face by Tsunade who began to seethe at the ungrateful attitude shown towards her. "How dare you you brat!".

"Easy, I think it, then I think to myself, I dare you, then I say it. That's how I dare myself" Naruto replied cockily.

Tsunade grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled his face to meet hers. "Do you have any idea how much time and effort we've put in to finding you?". Naruto lifted up his eyebrow and replied. "About a month and you over exerted yourselves to find me". It took all of Tsunade's moral strength not to punch the man now.

"Ungrateful little brat. We've been searching for you, we even promised to fufil your life long dream, and what do you do? Throw it back in our faces, and treat us like shit. We love you Naruto. Why are you treating us like we're sub-human?" she begged him to answer. Naruto then did something rather bold and daring, and also disgusting.

He spat in Tsunade's face.

The others froze in shock and outrage.

"When I look in your eyes" Naruto spoke with a voice that seemed to be the actuall incarnation of hatred and disgust. "I don't see love. I don't see regret. All I see are a couple of pathetic bugs, who turned their backs on me. Remember when I was first banished Tsunade? You and all the others" here he moved his head to indicate the other ninja.

"You all gladly turned your backs, literally. That walk of shame I did out of the village, where not even one of you DARED to turn to meet my eye and tell me how much you would miss me. You didn't even flinch when you noticed that ANBU hit me across the face. Or did you forget that?".

Naruto stood up, still strapped to the chair, his face burned in to a scowl. "Ofcourse you did. I wasn't important. I wasn't worth a damn in your eyes. NONE OF YOU!". The others recoiled. It was at that moment that they truely realised.

Their Naruto was dead.

And it was all their fault.

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Tsunade walked in to her office later that evening like a dead woman walking. She looked like a zombie to those who had seen her on the street. She looked broken. They could all tell. Something must have happened with that ex-jinchuriki. No one notice the small trickle of water that ran down her cheeks.

Once she reached the office she was greeted by the council and Shizune.

The council consisted of high ranking ninja, the Clan heads, the two advisors of the Hokage, the Hokage themselves, and a small group of civillians. The Hokage ran the ninja, the advisors gave her advice in running the wellfare of her ninja's such as the ninja supplies, the high ranking ninja were there in time of war to help the Hokage find weaknesses in enemies and to strengthen their army, the Clan heads represented their clans and ran the clan business, civillian and ninja within the jurisdiction of the Hokage and the civillian council, who ran the economical needs for the villagers, sorted out orphan's allowences, organised events and worked under the hokage.

They were all sat around the office, each with a glass of wine in their hands, curtesy of a civillian member of the council. The clan heads, the high ranking ninja, the advisors and a couple of civillians looked disgusted, whilst some of the civillians looked rather tipsy. "Oi, oi. Hokage-sama. Did you convince him? Will he fight?".

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune exclaimed. "Is that saliva on your face. What happened and...are you crying?" the Hokage's assistant asked her master.

The other council members surrounded the blonde hokage as she fell to her knees. It was then that Tsunade broke. Tears streamed down her face and the genjutsu she always wore, faded, revealing to the council that something had gone wrong and they were not going anywhere with the plan.

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Sorry it's short but I want to keep you all in suspense.

Note: Naruto's not gonna be Hokage. Well he might at the end but I'm not planning on doing that. The fic practically writes itself for me, I just have to write it down.

A tessen is an iron fan used in combat. Temari uses one large one, whilst Naruto uses two full iron fan which are much smaller.

Review as soon as you feel like it, I love reviews.

If you didn't like the spit thing then tell me and I go over and re-do it.