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Last time on 'Daddy's Rokudaime?':
Tsunade holds a council meeting to decide what to do with Naruto and how to get him on to their side. Naruto is trapped and bond in a secret room underneath the Hokage monument. Here he meets Iruka and Anko again and discovers the third Naruto, Iruka and Anko's fove year old son. Tsunade joins up with Naruto in his cell where she offers him a fight with each of the Konoha 12 and friends, should he win all matches, he walks free, but if he loses just one he returns to Konoha as a ninja, forever. Naruto spits in Tsunade's face and announces his hatred for them all. Tsunade leaves and breaks down infront of the Konoha council.
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Chapter 5: Check up, Oiroke and Dobe!
A week after the confrontation between Naruto and Tsunade found the blonde man having a check up in a hospital, done personally by the assistant of the woman he had spat in the face of. Shizune kept giving Naruto nervous glances, afraid of what he would do to her. She had never been afraid of Naruto, she didn't fear what he could do physically and mentally back when he was younger, but now she was afraid of what he was capable of.
Tsunade had cried herself to sleep everynight for the past week, and even then it was only about an hour's sleep, then she went back to crying. Shizune had never seen her mentor so destroyed before. It scared her that Naruto could do that by simply spitting on her face and staring her straight in the eye and telling her what he hated about all of Konoha.
The woman had enough to deal with right now. The war with Stone, Cloud, Grass and Sound was drawing closer, and she ahd to bring in all of the allied villages for a conferance begging them to help her. Daimyos Yukie Fujikaze, Michiru Tsukino and his son, Hikaru, and Toki of the lands of Snow and Birds respectfully were also in attendance. Tsunade had thought that them being good friends of Naruto could help convince him to return.
The Kazekage, Leader of Tokigakure, the Namikage, the Hoshikage, The leaders of Demon country and the various council members from those foreign lands would also be joining. The Daimyo of fire would also be coming. Tsunade had also tried to bring forth the Mizukage, but with little to no results.
Shizune looked over Naruto's charts and glanced up as the young man held his sleeping son on his lap. Shizune also took notice ofhis chest area which caused her to go as red as a tomato. He wasn't overly muscular, his chest looked like a teenagers or young man's who worked on a sports team. She tried to hide her blush with her clipboard but she could tell that Naruto knew she was blushing.
"Well Naruto, your vital signs are great, your body is in amazing physical condition, you have no illnesses, your eyesight is perfect, the only problem is your sugar levals. They're far to high. You should cut down. According to this you're much healthier than when you lived here ten years ago" the dark haired woman told her patient.
Naruto snorted and rolled his eyes. "That's no suprise. I haven't eaten all the crap you lot tried shoving down my throat". He then seemed to swell up with pride. "And besides, Me and Isaribi did have our own resteraunt once, we had to be healthy, especially when Haku was coming along". Shizune smiled at him.
"He looks so much like you. Cute".
Naruto narrowed his eyes at his ex-adoptive older sister's thoughts about him. "You're not trying to butter me up are you?" he asked untrustingly. Shizune swiftly shook her head to either side of her neck. "No, no Naruto-kun. Just stating the obvious. The two of you are cute, especially together".
Naruto seemed to extert an extra layer of cockiness and confidence un to his aura. "Why thank you Shizune. By the way..." Naruto grinned "...did you finally come out as a lesbian?". Shizune turned bright red. "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" Shizune exclaimed fighting the urge to smack Naruto across the head.
"I should hope not" a new, yet famillier voice sounded from the other side of the door. The two turned their heads to see Kakashi Hatake, his hand entangled by a seven year old boy with gravity-defying black hair and onyx eyes. A face mask was messily under his chin and ran around his neck. He had a bored expression on his face, but his eyes seemed annoyed at the book in Kakashi's hand.
"She is my wife, after all" Kakashi noted to Naruto who's eyes bulged out at that revelation. Kakashi + Shizune actually seemed impossible. They barely had any contact with each other when he had been here ten years ago. "Tou-san, put down that book or I will tell Kaa-chan 'bout your mffphff" he didn't finish as Kakashi drapped a hand over his mouth, clearly not wanting his wife to know about his secret something.
"You guys are weird" a small voice quipped. The adults and child turned to see Haku gone from his father's arms and playing a game of poker with Kyuubi-P. "I raise the stakes" the child said returning to the game. Shizune and Kakashi sweatdropped as they witnessed the child playing poker with the mechanised soccer ball. "Yeah, I win again!" Haku exclaimed. "Kyuubi-P you suck at gambling and card games!".
Naruto smiled as the cards were inserted in to Kyubi-P. The mouth opened up and Haku just fed them to Kyubi-P. It was an infinite storage chest of toys, games, booze and pocky in there. Naruto knew that much, he remembered a certain incident where he was trapped in Kyubi-P for a week because he had eaten a whole suitcase worth of pocky.
"Hey, Obito" Kakashi spoke to his son. "Why don't you take Chibinaru out for a walk. You can go to the park. I hear there's a new ice cream stand there". Handing his son a wad of cash Kakashi ushered him and signaled Chibinaru out the door. The two complied leaving the adults alone. When they were gone Naruto turned to his old sensei with a harsh glare. "You better not be here to guilt trip me in to coming back Hatake, or so help me God..."
"Naruto" Kakashi began. "Chill".
The blonde raised an eyebrow.
"I don't want you to come back if you don't want to. I think you're better off in the wilderness" Kakashi stated. "But you didn't have to spit in Tsunade's face. It may have proven a point but it was a little over the top, don't cha think?" Kakshi goaded. Shizune shifted nervously before speaking. "I'm going to go get some coffee. Kashi, Naru, you want any".
"Western tea. Milk, three sugars, please Shizune" Naruto said to her.
"Coffee, no suger, no milk" Kakashi told his wife.
"Fine but only two sugars for you Naruto. As of now you are on a sugar-free diet" Shizune warned with a violent tone in her normally sweet voice. She was out of the door before either man could realise she was missing. Naruto bowed his head before looking Kakashi in the eye again. "Will you stop looking at me with my shirt off. If you weren't married to Shizune I'd think you were perving on me".
"Just looking. You seem to have gotten fitter since you left. Must be the lack of ramen in your diet". They retreated in to silence before Kakashi spoke once again to his ex-pupil.
"I miss you" the silver haired jounin said to Naruto.
"You miss me? Or what you used to do to me?" Naruto added bitterly as he stared out of the window. "Did it give you some sort of thrill embarassing me and leaving me in the dust to train Sasuke. Or did you just feel good you were hurting the vessel of the nine tailed fox?".
Kakashi shook his head, "No. I miss the sunshine you brought in to our lives. Suicide levels after failed missions has risen in the last ten years. Apparently your pranks and attitude were the life and soul of a lot of people. Most are actually suprised and amazed that Sasuke, Sakura and Iruka have lasted this long without offing themselves". Naruto scowled before resting his chin against his chest.
"Who knew this village relied on stupid pranks to make themselves feel good about life. Pathetic". Kakashi seemed to get a few degrees colder at that moment. "It wasn't just the pranks Naruto".
"Oh really? What was it then? The beatings of a little kid who didn't know what the hell was going on. The jeering, the vicious glances, the stares, the pointing, the over priced items, the faulty goods, the out of date milk? Any of those ring a bell Kakashi?" Naruto was beginning to get hysterical. Kakashi saw this a mile off and lay a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It wasn't any of that stuff. It was hope".
"Hope?" Naruto scoffed as he sneered. "Hope of what? The death of the ultimate evil? The creature that ended the existance of countless shinobi. What hope Kakashi?".
"The hope of a better tomorrow".
Naruto snickered at his reply. "That is some messed up crap Kakashi. Not to mention corny".
Kakashi gripped Naruto's shoulder tighter. "No Naruto". He lowered his face to eye level with Naruto. "The hope that you can never give up, no matter what gets in your way. Hope that a dead last like you can defeat S-class ninja while still a genin. Hope that's always shining and always there no matter how much someone tries to snuff it out". Kakashi sounded desperate. "How long did it take you to write and reherse that?" Naruto asked boredly.
"It was written by Iruka in five minutes and it took me three hours to rehersh it even with the sharingan. How did you know someone wrote it and that I rehersed it?" The copycat ninja asked the blonde man. Naruto snickered before flicking Kakashi's nose. "You really need some acting lessons". Naruto returned to his seat before clicking his tonuge. "So, you and Shizune huh?".
"Odd, I know. But after you left I was sort of in a slump. I spent all day and night at the memorial stone, I felt I had failed my entire team. You, Sakura, Sasuke. I couldn't take it any more". Naruto entiretwined his fingers with eachother and put them under his chin. "So what did you do? Go on a binge?".
Kakashi smiled underneath his mask before looking down shamefully. "No. I tried to commit seppuku".
Naruto's head shot up and his eyes widened in shock. "You? Seppuku? Was my leaving that much of a disaster?". Kakashi sat crossed legged on one of the hospital beds. "No, it was terrible but it was the final push I needed to send me straight off a cliff. It was only a month later that Shizune found me hanging from the Hokage monument".
"You didn't"
"I did. Shizune cut me down with her sebons and caught me. She then proceeded to heal all my neck wounds, before pounding me, healing me, then repeating to process a couple of times". Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well she was Tsunade's apprentice. What do you expect. Granted I would have done the exact same thing".
"I have no doubt you would have. You wouldn't have a lil' godson if I had been left hanging".
"Wait what?" Naruto asked. "Godson?".
"Well, Obito for one, Naruto the third for another" Kakashi and Naruto shivered. Even Naruto was afraid of the prospect of three Naruto's whose pranking schemes were all on different wave lengths. Bad enough with shadow clones. "It was either you, Gai, or Sasuke. You do the math". Naruto nodded in seeing the logic in that. It was either the Green Beast of Youth or the Emo avenger. It made perfect sense, even thoguh he didn't know anything about it. "Then you were the first in line for Gaara's kid".
"Gaara got married? Who? When?"
"Oh just some girl called Matsuri or something. One of his old students. Goldish hair, spunky attitude, has an obsession with whips".
"Oh, Matsuri-chan. I remember her. Right before I left for my training trip I was on a mission with sand to get her back". Kakashi's eye looked up as if he were deep in thought. "Oh that mission. I remember that. I thought she was making eyes at you though. Anyway, the kid's a nightmare. Gaara's notice how the kid uses sand jutsu, and has been trying to get him to be a med nin".
"Gaara's son a med nin? I never thought I'd see the day".
"Yeah and that Rasensunagan is a beaut".
"Rasensunagan?"
"The Rasengan made out of sand. My bad. I used it infront of him. I swear the kid was an Uchiha in his past life. Broke down the rasengan training, mastered it and created an elemental version of it. But I don't think he would be able to beat you Mr. Rasengan on each digit".
"Oh. You heared 'bout that?"
"From the rasengan fan-club"
"I don't want to know".
When Shizune finally returne with the tea she found Kakashi and Naruto talking about Obito Hatake. The little guy was two years older than Haku and was already a chunin, but had yet to make his first kill and was on extended leave until he was twelve. "So you named him after your best friend? I think Gai started sobbing his eyes out when you told him that". Kakashi snorted. "Had I named him after him and let him know "Uncle Gai", I would probably try seppuku again, Shizune too probably. We're all dreading the day Tenten announces she's pregnent. Then we're building the Panic Rooms".
Shizune served them tea and began to fill in the paper work for Naruto's check up. "There's one thing still bugging me" Kakashi asked Naruto as the blonde sipped his tea. "Yeah, what's that?" Naruto asked his former sensei. "Why don't you hate me like the others? or Shizune?".
Shizune looked up from her work, wondering the same thing. Naruto sighed before swirling his tea. "Truth is I'm still pissed at all of you. But since Shizune has sebon and you have raikiri I am at your mercy considering we're in a a hospital room and I do better at long ranged attacks. Were we not in this predicament I would probably be talking to you like scum. That and I'm curious to how Konoha is these days".
The two jounin sweatdropped anime style at Naruto's explaination. He was just in bad conditions to be dealing with their tempers. That did nothing to boost their confidence that Naruto was actually starting to like them again.
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Haku grunted as Obito and the other Naruto dog piled him. "Get off Umino. Hatake. You weigh alot. Get off now". Chibinaru scowled. Haku's warning went un heeded until he began another of his techniques. "Rasen-Usagi!" he called out. A white rasengan formed in his palm with a spiraling tail. "Run magots, run" Haku threatened. The other two jumped off him and steeped back a couple of paces.
The white rasengan stopped after a while showing...a bunny's face. The ears were sharp, but it was still cute. And deadly. "What the hell is that?"
"One of my Kawaii-ton jutsus" Haku told them striking a cute pose.
"Kawaii-ton?" the two other boys asked in unison.
"Cute Release jutsu" Haku said before going through more hand seals. "Watch. Kawaii-ton: Tiger suit!". A puff of smoke later and Haku was dressed in a cute tiger suit. His face was revealed but his nose was black and three lines were drawn acrso his face, obsuring his freckles and showing off a very cute kid an little early for Halloween.
"Look at that. Kawaii"
"Oh he's so cute"
"I wonder whose the daddy?"
"Or if he has a brother my age"
"You're twenty-six"
"So?"
Haku looked around to see himself the centre of attention for every woman in the park. The little guy blushed before forming his hands in to a handseal. "Stop looking at me! Oiroke no Jutsu. Version Pervy Woman!". Haku was replace by well, I'll leave that up to your imagination.
As soon as Naruto arrived with Kakashi on his heels they looked around to see female bodies strewn everywhere, rivers of blood pouring out of their noses and large puddles of blood scattered around the entire area. Kakashi took one look at the scene and stepped away from Naruto. "Thank god you don't have any more of those things" he said as Naruto smacked his forehead.
"Haku" he breathed.
Said child turned to see his father and broke out in to a face splitting grin. "Tou-san look! I caused mass mayhem and destruction. Can you teach me more of your jutsu now?". Naruto began to bang his head on the nearby swing set. "I should never bet against him. His luck is better than mine" Naruto said between hits. Kakashi looked to see Obito and Naru looking at Haku with stars for eyes. "That was cool" Obito exclaimed. Kakashi suddenly had a really bad feeling.
"Hey, Chibinaru-chan" Naru began as he ran up to the child. "Can you teach me how to do that?". Kakashi felt even more of a bad feeling crawling up his spine. With whatever jutsu Chibinaru just preformed, Kakashi was sure it would be the end of Konoha as he knew it. "Teach us how to do that. What did you call it? Oiroke no jutsu: Version Pervy Woman?" Naru asked hanging on to Chibinaru's arm.
Kakashi froze in fear. If Shizune heared that Obito wanted to know a Pervy jutsu then she would not hurt her precious little boy. No. It would be his perverted father who would pay the ultimate price. No sex for numerous years, not even on special occasions, the Icha Icha paradise set would be burnt for a bonfire, and Obito could be witness to his father's checking in to the witness protection programme to get away from his psycho wife.
The three boys laughed that the expressions of the faces of Kakashi and Naruto.
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Naruto's attitude could be discribed as murderous.
He had just been informed that the village would not allow him to leave unless he fought and won all of the fights Tsunade had planned for him. Shizune cowered under his gaze as he glared murderously. The dark haired woman had just been in a council meeting and was to inform Naruto of this development. When she exclaimed this Naruto erupted and demanded to know why he was being kept here when he wasn't even a Konoha ninja.
The explaination that his Ninja lisence had been invoked caused a one man riot. Naruto tore through the council chambers threatening all of the members of the council to let him go. It was Hiashi Hyuga who managed to push in to the yelling and explain to the once hyperactive ninja that the only way he would be allowed to leave was for him to fight and win all of his fights with the Konoha 12 nin and the other challengers that Tsunade had arranged to go up against him. The Hyuga head narrowly missed death by wind jutsu when Haku managed to calm his father down.
The child had been an instant favourite with the council and ninja of Konoha. He was exactlly like Naruto used to be, only with his charm more powerful and his use in Kawaiiton jutsu made him far more likeable that Naruto could ever hope to be to anyone. The council were extremely thankful that Haku was there to calm down the living maelstorm before he tore through some of the members of the council.
"Tou-san. What's the big deal?" Haku had asked his father. "All you have to do is kick these guys asses and we can go. You can bet 'em. Auntie Kyu Kyu wouldn't let us be kept here anyway. You have to pay for his living. The freeloader would get mad if you didn't send your gambling money every week for him. He'd kill you if you lost, then he'd take us out of the village anyway. So fight 'em. I know you'll win, so what's the problem?"
"It's the princaple of the matter" Naruto fummed. "I don't want to play by their rules. I stopped doing that the second I left this village ten years ago". He turned to the council members, his eyes burning with rage. "If I do this, It'd be like I was their lapdog again. I want freedom from this crap heap".
It was a good thing that none of the council members spoke up at that moment. Shizune sat in the hokage chair glancing nervously at the occupants of the room. Tsunade had refused to leave her room, so her assistant took on the duties of her master until further notice. Shizune finally spoke up by appealing to Naruto's fatherly nature. "Chibinaru-kun is right Naruto-san" she said trying to use the right honourifics to sweet-talk him. "Besides, why not fight. And if you lose it'd be a good thing for Chibinaru".
Naruto's ears perked up and his eyes narrowed. "What crap you selling?" he asked the black haired woman who shivered under his gaze. "Well Naruto, Chibinaru needs alot more stability in his life. Going from one place to another and never stopping long enough to make friends is bad for a child at his age." It was, however, Chibinaru who spoke up. "I make friends all the time. Their my penfriends. There's uncle Ranmaru, Uncle Inari, Auntie Shion, Hitomi-chan, Megumi-chan, Haruka-kun, Mamo-kun, Yuu-kun, Yugi-chan, Auntie Nuriko and all my other penfriends".
'Well that was a bust' the council members all thought in unison. "What about his schooling?" Koharu asked looking genuinly concerned. "Tou-san teaches me. I know how to make clothes, fish, read and write, use a kunai, make seals, do handseals, throw sebon, use a tessen, fight with a katana, and tons of other stuff. And before Kaa-san went to meet uncle Haku and all the others up in heaven with Kami-sama she taught me how to cook, fight, swim, use my water chakra and she let me sign her summoning contract".
The contents of that speech caused some of the council members to began to look at Haku like he was already a chunin. Those skills would be highly appreciated by many ninja's who worked in those feilds. Lil' Haku was a Jack of all trades but a mster of few, or maybe a master of all by the time he was sixteen in eleven years time. But it was the last part that got some of the council members curious. Chibinaru had signed a summoning contract with something other than his father's toad summonings.
Questions circled in the council member's minds. What animal could Haku summon? Where did Isaribi get the summoning contract? Which level could Haku summon up to already? Since when could Isaribi summon? And one of the most impotant questions circalted in the council members minds. Why didn't Haku have the fabled Toad summoning contract that his father, the yondaime hokage, and Jiraiya of the sannin all posses?
"Chibinar-kun" Shizune spoked "Why do you not have your father's summoning contract?" she asked. Naruto looked at her as if she had two heads. "Since when do I have a summoning contract?". The others in the room other than Haku fell over anime style.
"Tou-san you never told me you had a summoning contract!" the child berated his father. ""Why didn't you tell me? Which animal is it?".
Naruto screwed his face up in to an expression to show that he was thinking. Suddenly a light blub went off in his head an he opened his eyes. "Oh yeah that summoning contract, the one for...uh-oh" he said as he began to shake. "Now this is irony" he stated before laughing nervously. "Well this is a tad problematic" he said in a southern accent.
"Ne, ne. Tou-san! What animal can you summon?"
"Oh nothing special" Naruto said nervously.
Hiashi Hyuuga growled in anger. "You call the summoning contract of To-" he found his mouth covered by Naruto's hand. "DON'T SAY THE T-WORD!" he exclaimed looking at Haku fearfully. The child just looked confused at his father's actions. Did he not want to tell him what he could summon. "Tou-san! What is it?" the child demanded. Naruto looked at the council members in the room begging them not to tell the child his summons with his eyes. Hiashi mumbled under Naruto's hand.
The other members of the council turned to look at Hiashi, whose Byakugan gained a malichious tint. Naruto removed his hands before Hiashi spoke. "Well, well, well. Looks like the ball is in our court now" he said darkly. All who caught the tone shivered. "I can't use this to make you stay. You're to proud for that but..." the others looked at him seemingly able to catch on to Hiashi's way of thinking. "...if you agree to participate in to challanges Tsunade-sama has organised for you, then none of us will tell Chibinaru-san what your summoning animal is, because for some reason or another you don't want him to know".
Naruto saw his folly and groaned. He had given the council exactly what they needed. Leverage. Haku's schooling was taken care of. He had friends. He had minor stability, but the one thing he did not have was knowledge of Naruto's summoning animal. It was the one thing Naruto really wanted under wraps. "Shit" the blonde said as he began to growl obsenities that would have made Tayuya blush like a school girl with a crush.
"Even after all this time, I am still a dobe" Naruto muttered. "Alright. If you all swear to my on the lives of your children and of the lives of your families not to tell Chibinaru about my summons, I will participate in this challange, for all the good it'll do you, smug bastards".
Shizune sighed as Naruto and Haku left the council chambers, which now held council members with families on the line and a way of securing that Naruto would fight the challanges. This was turning in to hard work. 'No wonder Tsunade-sama gets so drunk often. Like the Nara guy says, Troublesome' Shizune thought as now she had an odd craving for sake.
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I do not make so many spelling mistakes. I have proof. I am british so some of the words are written in british spellings. Alot of words are different. The only words I occasionally mispell are the ones I can't spell, which isn't alot.
Anyways. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.
No Naruto will not forgive Konoha. But he will work against it's enemies because of something tha will happen in chapter Nine let me give you a run down on whats to come. Minor spoilers if you will.
Chapter 6: Naruto discovers the dates of the fights, and wanders around Konoha meeting up with people. The reason why Naruto doesn't have ramen anymore is explained here.
Chapter 7: Naruto finds out that a conference is being held in Konoha between allied countries in the war. He meets some old friends
Chapter 8: Here the challenges begin. Most of the Konoha twelve and some of the sensei's fight here.
Chapter 9: Sasuke, Sakura and others fight Naruto. Something Horrible happends.
Chapter 10: Return of Kyubi and he and Naruto go on a private revenge matter.
More on that after the chapters are over. I will not reveal what the bad thing that happens, but let me assure you it is something bad but it does have a semi-happy ending. That's all I'm giving you. The list for who is to be Naruto's oppenents will be up next chapter.
By the way as I write this (22/07/08) I have:
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And some one has finally reviewed on Frozen Wood about my contest. YAY!! Break out the fire works.
TTFN (Ta Ta 4 now)
Shodaime of SSDD (Same Shit Different Day)