Title: When The Devil Can't Save Himself
Word Count: n/a yet
Rating: PG-13, maybe R at one point
Warnings/Spoilers: All of season 1, aired season 2 and spoilers for 2.14 through 2.15.
Summary: Bart Bass. Shot. Dead. Murdered. Chuck Bass was broken, and he was pretty sure he couldn't be fixed. That wouldn't stop her from trying.
Official Disclaimer: All Gossip Girl plots and characters belong to Cecily von Ziegeser, Josh Schwartz and the CW. I do not own the company or the people. The characters featured in this story are not mine.
Author's Note: Okay, I'm trying to update once a week, but it's been pretty hectic with the holidays and everything. My mom and I are watching back episodes of Gossip Girl, she's getting into the show, and I've been trying to spend time with the rest of the family as well, so sorry it took a little longer. This chapter shows some development in Blair, and next chapter you'll see some in Chuck. I know his attitude hasn't changed very much throughout the story and for a Chuck-centic fic there's more of Blair than him, but I promise that will change in the next couple chapters. Chuck's downward spiral is about to get a lot more serious, and people are going to have to start putting that first. That's all I'll say for now. ;)
Blair stared into her full-length mirror, examining her outfit from head to toe. A gray silk dress clung to her curves, but managed to look elegant when combined with a long, looping string of silvery pearls. Black patterned tights worked their way up her toned legs and slipped into matching heels. Her dark hair was put up in an elegant twist, and her makeup was subtle yet enchanting, her trademark red lipstick in place. Everything was in perfect order.
She turned away from the mirror and looked towards her bed, glancing from the silk comforter to the heavy curtains and the antique furniture. There was not a spot left untouched. Blair had cleaned the entire space herself this afternoon, between when Eleanor gave her the Colony Club invitation to now. She never cleaned.
Though, she figured, it was more likely because she get her mind off of things than because she didn't like the usual clutter of shoes on the floor and cashmere sweaters and school uniforms tossed onto the chairs and desk.
Blair's mind flashed briefly to Chuck, and she wondered where he was right now. Probably in his suite, the TV on mute, staring blankly at the ever-present glass of scotch in his hand. He was probably drinking himself into a coma, not that that was anything new.
Blair sighed, shoving all thoughts of the dark-haired villain she had so unfortunately been cursed with loving from her mind. She was off to the Colony Club meeting, ready to make a good impression and find some way to distract herself while…he…was busy ruining his life.
God, she could not get him out of her mind! No matter how hard she tried, no matter how many cleansing breathes she took, no matter how much she focused on finding the perfect outfit for the meeting and examining every inch of her room, making sure it was pristine; she would never be able to let go of him. Never.
The pounding music flooded the large room, the sound echoing off the dark wood walls and making its way up to the balcony, where Chuck stood, leaning onto the banister and surveying the crowd below him. Bright, colorful lights flashed on people's faces, revealing to Chuck his perfectly groomed classmates and adults from their parents' social circles. They were all in various stages of inebriation, their tight clothes sticking to their sweaty skin and lipstick staining glasses of champagne and vodka shots as they tossed back each drink with the vigor of practiced alcoholics.
Chuck focused his eyes carefully away from where he would have been a year ago. A year ago, he'd been carefree and happy, perfectly glad to be a crowd of people like that. A year ago, he would have been sucking down martinis and scotch with his cohorts instead of alone. A year ago, he would have been throwing his head back in laughter as some random, slutty blond kissed his neck. But now they all seemed so dull, so superficial. Chuck was slipping into a dark hole and it seemed like everyone around him, everyone in his life, was just floating.
The Colony Club meeting was at one of the women's penthouses. It was a large, airy space, quite similar to the Waldorf's, but everything was delicate and antique. Stiff-backed French chairs, carved wood tables, heavy red velvet vintage curtains. The whole place felt cold and impersonal to Blair as she sat in one of the chairs, legs crossed elegantly as she sipped carefully at a glass of white wine.
The rest of the group – four well-groomed, extremely WASP-y women – were gathered around her in similar poses, their lipstick-stained wineglasses held between manicured fingers and their exactly three-inch heels set into what looked to be an ancient and extremely expensive carpet, probably handed down a line of British royalty or some sort of family heirloom.
Every single thing in the room, in the apartment, on the street, reminded Blair of him. Each way she looked, it was like there was a neon sign pointing to the door, to the direction of the van der Bass apartment, proclaiming, "Chuck needs you!" Needless to say, she hadn't wanted to ignore them, but the best she could do was leave a message for Serena on her way up to the door, telling her to make sure Chuck was okay for one night. It was like he was a child and Blair was his mother, but while she was definitely acting maternal, that really wasn't the point, was it? Who wouldn't feel this way if the boy they loved was on a self-destructive circuit, headed straight for hell?
Shaking her worries from her mind with a quick toss of her head and a tilt of her chin, Blair cleared her throat, thinking she would start to make a move on what she was here for, whether her heart was in it or not.
"My mother has recently told me so much about Colony Club, and I feel it exemplifies the highest ideals of what it means to be a New Yorker. And of course, Brooke Astor is a role model of mine." Blair smiled charmingly, her red lips parting to reveal rows of perfect white teeth. The women smiled in return, murmuring their appreciation.
"Ah, yes. Brooke was a shining light," one of them said, and the rest nodded in agreement, bobbing their hairspray-ed heads behind their drinks.
Blair smiled again, but she could tell that it didn't meet her eyes. "I believe in giving back to the city," she said, trying a different route of conversation. "I regularly feed the ducks in Central Park." Ducks? What the hell was she talking about? She had fed them once, maybe when she was five or six, with Dorota. Besides that, she never went near those ducks.
As Blair's mind wandered, the head Colony woman spoke. "Blair, your achievements are impressive, but for better or for worse, we are defined by the company we keep."
Blair nodded and sipped daintily at her drink. "I couldn't agree more."
The woman narrowed her eyes at Blair. "Tell me, was that Serena van der Woodsen you phoned earlier?"
Blair crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously. She hadn't anticipated poking into her personal life. Did that mean they'd heard about Chuck, too? "Uh, yes, she's an old friend." The statement came off sounding more like a question as Blair's voice slipped at the end. She felt detached and emotionally exhausted. She did not want to be here.
The women traded glances, their eyes flitting back and forth from Blair to each other. Blair gulped.
One of the women shook her head, as if Serena was such a huge disgrace to the Upper East Side. "I see her quite a bit in Page Six."
Thanks for reminding me, Blair wanted to say. It had used to be a subject of jealousy between them, the fact that Serena's glowing face and piles of butter blond hair constantly graced the society pages for all the world to see, but it hadn't really mattered too much to Blair lately, not as much as…other things.
"And quite a bit of her." The head woman gestured to her well-concealed cleavage, and the rest of the group tittered with mock-modesty.
Blair could feel her position slipping and spoke quickly to try to regain control. "When I said 'old friend…' that's just habit. I don't…can't approve of how she lives her life." Ugh, she was hating this more and more each second. She and Serena might not have been on the best of terms for a couple months, but they were still best friends. Why was she doing this?
The women murmured again, voicing their approval of Blair's "decision." She could feel the atmosphere shift as the women changed their attention from interviewing her to laughing cattily and being to gossip like teenagers.
"And her mother married Bart Bass." The women shook their heads sadly, like their marriage was the saddest thing they'd ever seen. Blair had to take a deep breath. She had good memories of that wedding: her pink floral dress, the beautiful reception, Chuck's best man speech, their dance and their kiss and what came after…
Another bout of laughter shook Blair's senses as the woman continued on. "Talk about crass."
Another woman chuckled. "Bart, or that she married him?"
The head woman took a long sip of wine, not even glancing at Blair, who sat in shocked silence. "That man was all new money and models. He wasn't even original as a cad."
Blair felt her heart crack yet again, feeling for Bart and Chuck and Lily and Serena and their entire family. She was both unpleasantly surprised at their sudden descent into cattiness and angry with herself for actually wanting to, someday, be one of them.
The women continued on, oblivious to Blair's quickly fading smile and that her eyes were opened wide with shock. "I hear that Bass Junior is a piece of work," the head woman said, smirking as she once again put her thin, coral-pink-lipsticked lips around the rim of her wineglass. She took a long, greedy sip and then swallowed noisily, all attempts at politeness left as soon as the gossiping began. "You wouldn't have anything to do with him, would you?" The women all turned their heads to focus their beady, heavily made up eyes on Blair's nervous expression.
Blair's heart sunk to somewhere around her stomach. She opened her mouth, gaping like a dead fish, before closing it, swallowing, and opening it again. Her throat was so dry. It felt like she was being choked. "Well, I…er…I…um…" She had never stuttered or faltered on a couple words more in her entire eighteen years.
The woman glared. "Blair, the answer is no." She sounded like a stern schoolteacher or an angry mother, both of which Blair was not used to being focused at her.
Blair's heart was pounding so heavily in her chest that she was surprised people couldn't hear it across the street. She parted her lips again, letting out air but not a single word. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus, recompose. Remember that she was hear for herself, not for Bart, not for Lily, not for Serena, and certainly not for Chuck. "Yes, I mean…no…I mean…" Blair stood quickly. There was no way she was going to go through with this. She was Blair Waldorf. People did not push her around and get away with it. "I'm sorry, I have to go."
The women's faces were now similar to how Blair's had been, taken aback and slightly scared at this sudden show of confidence. The head woman stood to face her, staring straight into Blair's dark eyes. "Excuse me?" She had a look on her face that matched the one that had graced Blair's once before, when little Jenny Humphrey had shown her up at her own sleepover last fall. Blair remembered her exact words ("No one ever leaves this sleepover!") and imagined that syllables resembling those were about to be spit in her direction.
"That 'piece of work' Chuck Bass needs me," Blair said, striding out into the entryway and picking up her coat from where it was left on a small table. "And Serena and her mother are wonderful, kind people."
The women sat in silence, watching as an eighteen-year-old girl called Manhattan's most prominent out on their mistakes. "Blair, do you know what you're doing?" Heels clicked from behind her as the head woman (Blair never had gotten her name) followed her to the elevator, her pupils boring their way into the back of Blair's thick wool coat.
Turning back to stare at the group, Blair smiled her trademark fake smile, complete with a raise of her eyebrows and just a slight turn up of her lips. "I thought by coming here, I was leaving high school behind." She shook her head, her sparkling silver headband catching the light. "I guess you never do." With that, Blair stepped into the elevator and shoved at the button marked 'Lobby.'
She was off to a place where she probably wasn't wanted or welcome, but at least she would feel more at home than she did now. Maybe, just maybe, tonight would be the night. Maybe tonight, she'd be able to stop him. To fix him. Maybe their encounter at school was as bad as it would get. Maybe the worst was over.
She should have known then that the worst would be much worse, and it was yet to come.
Author's Note: So just a tiny bit of Chuck, but that's a lead-in to where he's going to be in the next chapter. No Jack in this chapter, but you'll find out more about his indescretions with the Bass fortune soon. Just a couple notes: #1-I know the scene with the Colony Club women was badly written, can you please not give harsh comments on that, because it was difficult to write, being such a contrived scene in the first place? #2-Somewhere in the next two, three, or four chapters, some of the scenes are going to be more intense. That means that it will be harder for you to read and even harder for me to write, so they may take a little longer. Also, if you don't like the direction this story is going, I would consider it best not to keep on reading, because it'll just get worse from here on out. This is my first attempt at a serious fic, and I want it to get as serious as I can make it. #3-This story will (obviously) become AU starting January 5th, but while I will probably take some ideas from the actual episode, I will stick with this plot. Wow, that's a long AN. Anyway, thanks for reading. Thanks to reviewers: Princess Persephone, princeton girl, TheCutie, fizliz23, joliane, MamaFu, bluestriker666, suspensegirl and Piccolo Chic. I didn't get too many reviews last time, but please please PLEASE review. They make my day :)