"You know, I'm jealous of you."

"Huh?" Roxas pulled himself out of his reflections, blinking. He'd been here almost a week, and was getting increasingly antsy to return to the Destiny Islands. He was starting to have flashes of what he thought were Sora's memories, and they were giving him the feeling that Riku was in dire danger. That didn't mean a lot to Roxas, but it clearly meant a whole lot to Sora and Sora's need was driving him. But Axel was working all day on the blood magic and eating so much food, it was amazing… and not gaining any weight. In fact, Roxas thought he was losing weight. That was disturbing.

"I'm jealous of you living with Axel." Xephras said patiently, and Roxas blinked at him, startled. The man was smiling but didn't seem to be joking. "I've always rather liked him, but he doesn't like me. I think the smiling puts him off. But what can you do? Oh well, always the bridesmaid and never the bride… I suppose I'm just fated to die a virgin." Roxas blinked at him again, wondering where all this was coming from, and Xephras laughed at the confusion on his face. "Oh, don't mind me, I'm just in my happy place." Xephras walked off humming, and Roxas stared after him, confused. He turned to look at Mina who was standing sitting on a stool, sharpening a knife.

"Was he kidding?" He asked her, and she glanced up from her work.

"No, he was serious. He's loved Axel forever." She examined her knife as Roxas frowned. "But don't worry about it. Axel doesn't return it, and he knows that."

"Oh. That's… really sad." Roxas suddenly felt bad for the purple haired man, and blinked at the unexpected emotion. Was Sora waking up? Mina shrugged.

"It is what it is. He wouldn't be a virgin if he'd unbend enough to just sleep with someone, or hire a whore, but I swear part of his mind is stuck at ten. I think that keyblade warped him. Don't worry about it, Roxas." Roxas nodded, but he couldn't help but worry about it. Xep was weird, but nice and it felt like he could be a good friend.

But Roxas wasn't staying that long anyway, so what did it matter? Sighing, he called in his keyblades and began to practice. He would be entering the tournament tomorrow, and Albert would be betting big on him. He wasn't worried, but wanted to be at his best.

Axel looked blankly at the page where he had written the final blood rune.

"Shit, how could I be so stupid?" He ran a hand through his hair and began to pace around the room. He felt strained, and knew he had burnt off all the fat he owned, plus a bit of muscle and plenty of blood. He was just barely keeping the drain in check by eating constantly. "Ebony and ivory, fuck!" He slammed a hand down on the table, making the water in the bowl slop onto the table.

Ebony and ivory runes were a step beyond the blood runes. They came from the place where darkness and light intersected with blood, making a whole much greater than the sum of its parts.

He had known when he started searching for runes that he would need at least one or two of the ebony and ivory runes. Now that he was done with the blood, he knew he would need more like six. Of each. It was enough to make a grown man cry. If he was going to do this even remotely safely, he'd need to spend a week on each rune. So six weeks minimum, on top of the first week he'd spent on the blood runes. That blew his time estimate of a month completely out of the water, and he didn't want to disappoint Roxas. But he couldn't possibly get the runes that quickly unless he opened up his reservoirs of power.

"And then how will I cast the damn thing?" Axel snarled to himself, almost despairing. This was the kind of spell that should have required an entire circle of blood witches… or a single death. And Axel wasn't going to kill someone for his magic. Besides being illegal, it was immoral and completely wrong. He simply couldn't do it. "Shit, what do I do?" Tapping his fingers on the table, he tried to think.

In a lot of ways, it had been a wonderful week. He spent his days on the blood magic, which was draining but intoxicating, then spent equally intoxicating nights with Roxas. Axel was sure he was in love. He wanted to show Roxas such tenderness… he could listen to Roxas talk forever, just sit watching him, and be so happy. He'd never felt this way before in his life.

But he wasn't sure Roxas felt the same. In fact, he'd noticed a few troubling things, although he'd done his best to force them out of his mind. But now he faced them squarely, and bit his lip as he thought. Roxas… didn't really like to cuddle after sex. Axel had tried, but it was like holding a board. Roxas couldn't relax until he let go, as if the cuddling was wrong. Axel had tried to just accept that as something Roxas did, but it was troubling. Even worse, really, was the way Roxas sometimes shut him down. Axel didn't really expect Roxas to be fascinated by stories of his life as a carpenter and blood witch, but… well. Maybe he was just expecting too much. But Roxas was impatient with him a lot. It was easier to just listen to the blond.

Axel almost felt like Roxas didn't like him very much. And that was a thought that was very, very hard to contemplate. After all, why would the blond be warming his bed every night, showing such passion, if he didn't even like him?

"Maybe it's because I look like my cousin." He sighed, glancing at the stack of runes, and suddenly froze. "Fuck." Could that really be the reason? Was his cousin dead or something, and Roxas was just screwing him as a substitute? Axel hesitated, before picking up his knife and cutting himself, using the blood to scrawl a quick rune on his own skin. It was a really stupid thing to do, his mama had told him to never, ever do it. But he just had to know.

It was a spell that could not only detect lies… it would let him hear what the other person was really thinking. It was a short term spell, and his mama had told him it was good for when you thought a merchant was cheating you. But she had told him to never, ever use it in intimate situations. That there were some truths that just shouldn't be known. But he had to know.

Roxas would be home soon, and Axel would be able to get the answer to his question.

Roxas almost sighed as he came home and saw that Axel was waiting for him. Axel really was a great guy. Kind, considerate and putting a lot of effort into helping him. But Axel wasn't… Axel. He wasn't the pyro he knew, the guy he could talk to about weapons and missions and all the dark things in life. Despite being a blood witch and healing criminals, this Axel led a sunny life. He even seemed to enjoy being a carpenter, and Roxas couldn't think of anything more boring. Axel also enjoyed parks, horse races and mystery novels. None of which interested Roxas at all. But it would only be another couple weeks. Then he would be gone home and they would be able to naturally part, and Axel could find someone more suited to him. Besides, he would hopefully reintegrate with Sora, and Sora loved Riku.

"Hey Roxas." Axel hugged him for a moment, then ran a hand through his hair, tilting his head up for a tender kiss. Roxas returned it, wishing that it was less tender, more rough, with the bite of teeth. But asking for that would have just distressed Axel. He didn't have an unkind bone in his body, it seemed. "I was thinking, and I just had to ask… do you love me?" Axel asked quietly, gazing into Roxas face.

"Of course I do." Roxas lied. It was a white lie, though… Axel would never know the difference when he was gone. Axel stood very still for a moment, his green eyes brightening with what looked oddly like held back tears.

"Yeah, of course you do." Axel said, his voice a bit ragged, and smiled faintly. Then he waved at the kitchen. "I already ate. If you want anything, I'll be in the work room." Axel quickly left the room, Roxas staring after him.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he had said something wrong, but he couldn't imagine what.

Axel looked blankly into his bowl of water and blood, running a hand through his red hair. When he'd asked Roxas his question, he'd expected a simple no… or maybe that Roxas loved his cousin. He hadn't expected what he'd heard.

No, I love Riku. Axel closed his eyes, a tear falling into the bowl. The whisper in his ear hadn't sounded like Roxas, oddly… but it didn't matter. It was the truth, not the lie Roxas had tried to give him, that he had heard.

"Oh mama, you were right. It hurts so much." Axel closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself and try to decide what to do next. It was a bit counter-intuitive, but if Roxas had been telling the truth about loving him, Axel would have had to admit that he needed at least six weeks to finish the project. Because Roxas would have deserved to know the dangers involved.

But Roxas didn't love him. So it wasn't really his business what risks Axel was running. Axel thought for a moment, stirring the water with one finger. Why should he do this for someone who didn't care for him?

Because I said I would. And because… I want to forget. Axel stared into the water, and nodded to himself as he began the slow, pleasant yet very painful slide into the cool depths of ebony.

He would find the runes for Roxas and cast the spell, just as he had promised. And then… Axel would forget.