Disclaimer: I do not own OHSCH or any songs/lyrics mentioned in this story.

Chapter 1: Can't Take This Much Longer

"Kaoru!" Hikaru whispered softly.

Hikaru's younger twin beckoned to him with one hand. The shadowy and pitch black forest loomed around them, threatening to suck him into its treacherous depth. A thin shaft of moonlight flitted down through the colorfully dark canopy of whispering leaves overhead, shinning brilliantly on Kaoru's pale skin — seeming a ghostly white and glowing in the silver lighting.

Slowly, Hikaru took a cautious step forward, worried that if he made any unexpected movement his brother would vanish. He was approaching him sort of like you would a wild animal, trying not to scare it off.

Kaoru extended a hand toward his elder brother, palm up, as if offering it to him.

A narrow glowing path of tantalizing silver moonlight stretched across the path between the two. Hikaru's heart pulsed frantically in his chest — could it be that his brother was finally taking him back? As if in reply Kaoru smiled warmly at him.

Taking a few more steps forward Hikaru refused to take his eyes off the glowing figure in front of him. How long has it been since Kaoru has wanted me? Two months? Three.

Hikaru blinked, alarmed. Kaoru's hand slowly came down to hang limply by his side. His smile faded into a deep frown and he turned, turned away from Hikaru. He walked away, stepping out of the light, and glancing only once over his shoulder before disappearing in the thick black mass of towering trees.

"Kaoru!"

The pass that had connected them shattered like glass under his feet and soaked into the forest floor. The moonlight dimmed till a blanket of black night closed around Hikaru.

"Kaoru! No! Come back!" he cried out loudly, desperatly, tears begining to fall. "Please... don't leave me again... I need you..."

*"SO WHAT!"*

Hikaru jerked upright into a sitting position. The verse from "So What" by Pink began to play itself again on his deafening alarm clock:

*"SO WHAT!
I'm still a rock star!
I've got my rock moves
And I don't need you!"*

Hikaru groaned and felt around with one hand on the bedside table to turn off his alarm clock:

*"And guess what
I'm havin' more fun
Now that we're done—"*

Hikaru rolled back over sleepily, thinking about uncannily that song fit how his brother was acting lately.

Did he dare open his eyes? He did only to see what he'd been afraid of. Kaoru was gone once again.

Kaoru had been avoiding Hikaru for the past three months. He had, two months ago, moved out of the room they shared and requested his own. Hikaru till sobbed himself to sleep sometimes, for he felt lost and lonely without his other half always there beside him.

Hikaru forced himself to get out of bed to face another miserable day. After showering he got dressed in his Ouran uniform and went downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning, young master," chorused a group of young maids when he reached the bottom of the wide staircase.

"Has Kaoru already gone?" Hikaru asked warily, already knowing the answer.

"Yes sir."

He sighed heavily. Ignoring the knot in his stomach and choking down the lump in his throat he announced, "I'm heading out." Slinging his backpack over his right shoulder he headed for the front door.

"What about breakfast, sir?" The maid asked concerned. Hikaru knew the maids all worried for him and sensed his dejected state was because his twin's constant absences. They all tried to be extremely nice to him, but since they couldn't tell the twins apart they ended up being overly courteous to both of them.

"I'm not hungry," he said shutting the door behind him. Hikaru had lost a significant amount of weight since Kaoru started shunning him. He'd lost his appitite in his depression. Hikaru knew it was unhealthy, but he couldn't bring himself to eat — he always felt sick to his stomach and a constant headache mingled with the storm clouds in his head. The influence of Kaoru's disdain toward Hikaru was extravagant.

A car came around to pick Hikaru up and take him to school. He climbed in and stared out the window with half-lidded eyes.

"Have you noticed?" A worried maid in the Hitachiin mansion spoke gently, her hands folded in front of her across her apron.

The brunette maid beside her looked at her questioningly, "Noticed what?"

The first sighed lightly, "Both young masters have been looking very unhealthy. They're not around each other as much as they were before."

"Oh... yeah."

"You remember when they used to hang all over each other and were so clingy and dependant on one another?"

The brunette nodded, "I miss their practical jokes the most though. They were always so mischievous."

"Mm-hmm," she looked down at her clasped hands, "I sure do hope they work this out soon."

"Me too, its just not the same without their devilish antics..."

"Why are two just standing around gossiping? Hurry and get back to work!" The head maid looked at them sternly.

"Oh! Yes, ma'am!" They scampered off to their duties.

Later that day

Kaoru looked up at the clock on the beautifully painted wall — only about fifteen minutes left of school.

He was sitting a row away and three chairs in front of his elder brother, purposely and painfully avoiding him once again.

Hikaru absentmindedly twirled his pencil in one hand and propped his head on the other, completely unaware of the lesson going on up front of the class room. He stared down at the wooden desk imagining little designs in the swirling wood pattern.

Once again today Kaoru hadn't spoken a word to him, or even spared him a passing glance.

Being too absorbed in his thoughts Hikaru didn't hear the teacher's first call. "Hikaru!" He jerked upright. "Hikaru, what's the atomic number for Molybdenum on the Periodic Table?" The students were supposed to be memorizing the Periodic Table for the past few lessons but Hikaru made no effort to even try.

So he sat there like an idiot, a lost expression on his face.

"Forty-two," Kaoru''s clear sweet voice rang somewhere in front of him. Hikaru blushed stupidly and stared at his brother's back. Why did he help me?

Kaoru could feel his twins gaze boring into him, hot on his back. He again, for the hundredth time in the past few months, resisted the urge to turn and stare his Hikaru. He thought that it would get easier to be away from his brother the longer they were apart, but the longing in Kaoru's heart for him only increased. It was becoming acutely challenging to stay away from Hikaru.

When the bell rang Kaoru quickly gathered his books and hurried out of the classroom in an attempt to escape his brother's questions he was sure were coming. Hikaru caught up to him anyway, and he let out a hiss of frustration.

Hikaru hesitated as he followed a step behind his double, who paid no mind to him. "Why did you help me?"

"Why not?"

Hikaru stopped and watched his now allusive twin walk away.

In the club room afterward the twins sat entertaining a group of regulars. They squeaked and swooned when they did their "brotherly love act." And thats just what it feels like now recently, Hikaru thought, An act.Whenever they did this routine now, however, they didn't lay it on so thickly. Kaoru always held back, a bored look in his eyes.

Hikaru carried a tray of hot tea toward their couch, deep in thought. Did his brother merely get bored of him, like a child gets bored of a toy? They'd never notwanted the other around. Why the sudden change in Kaoru?

Tripping over his own feet Hikaru was jerked back into his surroundings, "Uh!" The inevitable happened: the tray of tea fell into Kaoru's lap, the freshly brewed liquid wetting him thoroughly. Kaoru gritted his teeth and gasped as it burned him.

"Kaoru! I'm so sorry!" Hikaru exclaimed kneel next to his brother — hands frantically trying to dry him with some invisible cloth.

"I'm...," Kaoru winced, "okay..." Drawing in a hissing breath he stood up.

Haruhi and the rest of the club rushed over, "Are you okay?" The younger twin just gave a single nod.

"Come on; I'll take you to the nurse," Haruhi offered, reaching for his hand. Before she could a long slender hand grabbed it first.

"I will," Hikaru said, his heart ached at even the thought of hurting Kaoru. Anyway, he thought, Kaoru and Haruhi have been spending a lot of time together recently...Hikaru felt a need to keep them apart. The feeling nagged and hurt — it made him angry at Haruhi, he wanted her to leave. He didn't understand it at all.

Kaoru nodded to Haruhi, telling her it was okay and that he wanted to go with Hikaru. Whatever got him to the nurse quicker, that didn't involve the two of them wasting time fighting.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, the she withdrew her hand slowly and nodded once.

Hikaru half dragged Kaoru out of the club room, his only thought to get him to the nurse and make sure he wasn't hurt too bad.

Kaoru fought to control his breathing. He glanced down at his hand — long, pale fingers grasped it firmly. It seemed to burn where his brother touched it... Hikaru was holding his hand. Kaoru longed to grip it back, to hold hands with his twin, but resisted, his neck already burning. By the time they got to their destination he'd almost forgot about the burn.

Hikaru pushed their way roughly through the door into the wide room, "Nurse!" He practically shoved Kaoru towards her, "He's burnt!"

The small nurse dressed in too much white rushed over to him, "Come over here, sweetie," she said in a gentle honey-coated voice. The eldest son watched shakily as the little woman brushed her hand lightly over the burn, making his little brother wince, making him in turn too.

He had hurt Kaoru, while selfishly wondering why he didn't want him, out over his own clumsiness. Hikaru felt ashamed and miserable, he looked down at the floor.

"You'll be just fine, sweetheart. The burn should heal up in a couple days. Take this to numb the worst of the pain, it should wear off by tomorrow, though," The tiny nurse handed him a small round capsule. He took it thankfully.

Kaoru glanced at his brother out of the corner of his eyes — he was staring down and looked uncomfortable.

Getting off the bed, paper crackling annoyingly, he paced over to his Hikaru only to stop a ways off.

"Kaoru, I'm so sorry!" Hikaru looked up quickly, a tortured expression on his face.

The youngest Hitachiin raised one hand, "It's okay. You didn't mean to." Then he turned on his heel and back to the club room without another word or signs he'd actually forgave him.

I've got to fix this. I can't take it much longer... Kaoru hated to see his twin this upset, and himself being the cause... Yes, he'd noticed for a while Hikaru's attitude — depressed. But he, himself, wasn't any better.

Hikaru felt like he'd been pushed away again. He'd done something to anger his twin, and in doing so widened the distressing gap between them. Instead of going back to the club room he went to the restroom and sat on the floor of a closed stall and cried.