Over in another section of the playground, Bart had brought Arthur over to meet his occasional pal, Nelson Muntz.
"Hey dingus, who's the camel kid?" Nelson asked.
"Actually, he's an aardvark" Bart said "and his name's Arthur Read. I met him when I moved away some years ago. Arthur, this is Nelson, he's kind of a bully, but he's also my friend."
"Nice ta meet ya dingus" Nelson said, before delivering a punch to Arthur's gut.
"Why did you do that?" Arthur asked, as he attempted to regain his breath.
"Sorry, but you look like a geek, and I gotta punch all geeks" Nelson explained.
"Actually, one of Arthur's buddies is a geek, that bear-looking kid over there" Bart explained, pointing to Alan, who was elsewhere on the playground with Buster.
"Excuse me fellas" Nelson said, as he headed off.
"Oh hello, can you—Gaaaah!" Alan's voice rang out, following a punch to his gut.
"Haw Haw!"
While Nelson was beating up the Elwood City boys, Lisa led the girls to the jungle gym, where a girl with long, brown hair was playing.
"Hi Lisa" the girl said, before peering over at the others "I take it one of you is Sue Ellen."
"That would be me."
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Allison Taylor, my best friend in the whole world" Lisa said "Allison, this is Sue Ellen Armstrong, Francine Frensky & Fern Walters."
"Nice to meet you" Allison said, shaking their hands "Sue Ellen, Lisa's told me a lot about you, it's nice to finally meet you."
"You too, Lisa talks about you all the time in her e-mails" Sue Ellen replied "she's so lucky to have a friend like you."
"What are we, chopped liver?" Francine asked.
"Allison and her boyfriend usually go on double dates with me and Colin" Lisa explained.
"Where is your boyfriend?" Sue Ellen wondered.
"He's around here somewhere" Allison replied, scanning the playground "oh, there he is. Honey, come here and meet Lisa's new friends!" she called.
Within a few minutes, Allison's boyfriend headed over. He was a pudgy lad, with a childlike face and pink colored hair.
"This is my boyfriend, Martin Prince" Allison explained to the other girls "Martin, these are Lisa's friends from that Elwood City place."
"Salutations newcomers" Martin said "I am honored to welcome you to Springfield. And might I add, you are certainly unique looking."
"Are you sure he's a guy?" Francine asked.
"Yeah, he just has a girly sounding voice" Allison explained.
"A glandular problem, I assure you" Martin said "may I offer you ladies some processed cheese snacks?"
"Er, no thanks" Francine replied.
"So Sue Ellen, what do you do?" Allison asked.
"I work at Chicken Licken', this fast food place" Sue Ellen replied "and I hate it. I can't stand the food and sometimes they make me wear a hairnet. Have you ever tried putting all this hair under a hairnet? It's not easy, let me tell you."
"If you hate it, why don't you just quit?" Allison asked.
"I need the money" Sue Ellen explained "and the Elwood City job market isn't that great."
"Same with Springfield" Lisa added "my dad said he'd 'pull some strings' and get me a job at the nuclear plant, but there was no way I'd go for that. Luckily, I scored a job at the library. They've needed someone to organize things there for years, and it was a natural fit for me."
"Just like me" Fern said "I help Miss Turner out at the Elwood City library. It's really been helpful to my goal of becoming a published writer."
"I was asked to intern for Professor Frink but lost out to a fellow student" Martin said "but it has not made me bitter, oh no."
"Yes it has" Allison said "just yesterday you were plotting some kind of Machiavellian revenge on Database."
"What right does he have to take my dreams?" Martin asked "I'm the one with the 145 I.Q.; I should be the one using a particle accelerator! And so, like Ahab in Moby Dick, I shall wreak vengeance upon my proverbial white whale!"
"You'll have to excuse Martin, he's usually not swearing revenge on people" Allison explained to the others "in fact most of the time he's quite gentle. That's one of the reasons I fell for him."
"Enjoy your day my accursed rival, for when it concludes, my vengeance shall be unleashed upon you like Pandora's Box!"
"There are other reasons" Allison added.
Before anyone of the Elwood City girls could comment, a pair of identical-looking girls walked over.
"Hi, Lisa who are your new friends?" Sherri asked.
"These are some kids from out of town" Lisa began "there's…"
"They look like animals" Terri commented.
"Did you steal them from a zoo?" Sherri asked.
"I guess it's so tough for Lisa to make friends that she has to hang out with zoo animals" Terri added.
"That doesn't make any sense" Lisa said.
"Neither do your friends" Sherri replied.
"You think we look weird?" Francine asked "you two look exactly the same. How do you tell yourselves apart?"
"That's easy, we…" Sherri began "um, we…"
"What did you say Terri?" Allison asked mockingly.
"I'm Sherri!"
"Are you sure?" Francine asked.
"We have to go now" Sherri said, as she and her twin walked off.
"That was very clever Francine" Lisa said "I would've done the same thing myself."
"Yeah well, my dad says you can't solve all your problems with violence" Francine replied "but if they come back here again, I'll sock 'em!"
Soon, it got close to noon and Arthur & crew decided to head out for lunch.
"It's been a pleasure to meet you Nelson" Arthur said, extending his hand for a shake.
"Sorry, but I don't shake hands with nerds, my reputation and everything" Nelson explained "in fact, next time you come by, I'm gonna have to pound you."
"Good to know" Arthur replied, retreating his hand.
"Hey Lis, Art and crew wanna get some lunch, so quit yer yakking and let's get a snacking" Bart yelled.
"Well, I guess we should be on our way" Lisa told Allison.
"Well it was nice to meet all of you" Allison said.
"I concur" Martin added.
"You talk funny" Ralph said.
After leaving the playground at Springfield Elementary, our heroes stopped by Luigi's Pizza for lunch.
"Welcome-a to Luigi's, the best-a pizza in town, or at least-a the most expensive" Luigi greeted them "how can I-a help you?"
"We'd like two pizzas please" Lisa said "and one has to have all vegetarian toppings."
"For-a your friends, right?" Luigi asked.
"No, for me and my boyfriend" Lisa explained "they can have whatever they want on their pizza."
"Pepperoni!" Francine yelled.
"Ditto" Arthur replied.
"How big are these pizzas of yours?" Buster enquired "'cause I can eat a lot. And I mean a lot."
"Mamma mia!" Luigi cried "I just-a remembered, that I watched Mamma Mia on DVD last-a night. Now what can I get-a you?"
After placing their orders for one vegetarian pizza and one with the works, the kids sat down at a nearby table.
"So, is this place good?" Sue Ellen asked.
"It's a little pricey, but the food here is adequate" Lisa explained "Allison & I usually have lunch dates with our boyfriends here."
"Is this where we'll be going on our date?" Arthur wondered.
"Oh no, I have a much more intimate place in mind" Lisa said "this place is good for lunch, but romance, not so much."
"Hey Salvatore, there's these-a weird animal kids that-a just showed up" Luigi could be heard from inside the kitchen "I don't know whether to give-a them water or let 'em drink-a out of the toilet."
"For a number of reasons" Lisa continued.
After their pizza lunch, the kids decided to head back to the Simpson house for some R & R.
"I'm sorry about today, I know things didn't quite go how you expected" Lisa told the others, as they headed to the door.
"Well, it was different, but it wasn't any less fun" Arthur suggested.
"Yeah, I met a cool comic loving guy, and got to eat pizza" Buster said "that's a pretty full day for me."
"Right now, I'm looking forward to taking a nice rest, and maybe get our photos developed" Francine said "Fern took probably two whole rolls worth of shots."
"I couldn't help it" Fern replied, "this city is just filled with so many colorful characters. It would make a great setting for a novel."
"Yeah, you could call it, Lame Expectations" Bart suggested.
"Good one Bart."
"Go home Milhouse" Bart said.
"Okay, I'll sit by the phone and wait for you to call me" Milhouse said, as he rushed off.
"He's gonna be waiting a while" Bart said.
"I'd better go too, my dad will want me to give my opinion on his new lyrics" Colin said.
"Farewell my beloved" Lisa said "until we meet again" and she kissed him.
After they came apart, the Irish boy headed down the Simpsons' pathway towards the sidewalk.
"I'll call you" he called to Lisa as he ran off.
"I'll be waiting!" Lisa called back.
"Can we cut out this mushy stuff before I become violently ill?" Bart asked.
Lisa glared at him, and then opened the door. "Mom, we're home!" she called out, as she Bart, and the others made their way into the house.
"Hi kids, how was your tour of the city?" Marge asked.
"Everyone looked at us like we were freaks" Francine replied.
"Well, they're just not used to you yet" Marge explained "once they get to know you, I'm sure they'll realize what nice kids you are."
"Have you seen the Ben Gay? I need it to…" Abraham Simpson began, as he walked into the room. Then he noticed Arthur and friends "aaah, death!"
"That's not death Grandpa, it's just my friends from Elwood City" Lisa explained.
"Sorry kiddies, your weird animal costumes threw me for a minute there" Grandpa replied.
"These aren't costumes sir, this is how we normally look" Alan explained.
"What the? Animal people?" Grandpa exclaimed "that's disgusting! If animals and people were meant to breed with each other, Charles Darwin never would've founded Planned Parenthood. And to think, I fought in Vietnam to stop this kind of degenerate behavior!"
"Grandpa, you were never in Vietnam" Lisa explained "you told us you fooled the draft people by acting crazy."
"I don't remember that" Grandpa said, "though come to think of it, I don't remember much of anything." Then he stared at the kids again "hi kiddies, you must be friends of Lisa. The name's Abraham Simpson, nice to meet ya", he added, extending his hand.
"But didn't he just…?" Francine began, but Lisa nodded her head to urge her not to press the issue.
"Nice to meet you sir, my name is Sue Ellen" the girl replied, shaking Grandpa's hand.
"I knew a Sue Ellen once" Grandpa said "used to be a dancer for the USO, till that accident in Morocco. She spent the rest of the war in an iron lung, or as we called it back then, 'a tin coffin'."
"Well, we have to go now grandpa…" Lisa began.
"Hold on, maybe your new pals would like to hear some of my stories" Grandpa said.
"They really don't…"
"I'd like to" Buster said "my grandpa tells me really fun stories of when he was a kid."
"Take a seat long ears, and I'll regale you with tales of the past" Grandpa said, sitting down in the chair.
"Come on Buster" Arthur said.
"Shh, I wanna hear this" Buster said.
"Come on, we've lost him" Bart said, dragging Arthur off.
Arthur: Your grandpa seems a little…
Bart: Nutso?
Arthur: That wasn't the term I'd use, but okay.
Bart: Yeah his mind isn't quite all there anymore. It's best to just smile and pretend you hear him.
Arthur: Thanks for the advice. Next time, we settle in for a sleepover, unaware that someone in Springfield has it in for us.
Bart: And Maggie reveals her instrument skills, yawn.
Arthur: You know the deal regarding the reviews and such.
Bart: Yeah, don't make us remind you.