A/N : Aaaah, thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter -- you are all so amazing, a girl is lucky to have you reading her story! Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't post the next chapter yesterday, but I didn't "feel" it at that time... So I wrote this chapter today, and I really hope you'll like it, because I'm kind of unsure about some of it...
Please please review? It really means the world to me! (I know I keep on repeating myself, but no other words can express it! - unless you guys have any original ideas? -- smiles -- )
Xo, as always
Arthur
"Do you ever think about your father?" Arthur leaned on his arms, bare flesh scraping against the roughness of the stone that held together the walls of their castle, protecting it from enemies. Enemies… those who would stand at the gates with a thousand soldiers in tow and make their intentions of war known to you. This time around, he felt as if he were fighting a mere shimmer, always in the darkness. His arms were flailing around wildly, in the hope of striking something solid, but all he found was cold air that made him shiver.
Merlin pressed his back against the structure and slid down, looking up at Arthur from his position on the floor. "Not really –" he said, plucking at the blade of grass pressed between his fingers. "Everything I needed to learn, I learned from my mother and Gaius, but – yeah, I guess some part of me still wonders who he was. And why he left." Suddenly, he understood where Arthur was going with this.
"Is this about your mother?"
Arthur shook his head sadly, the movement laced with regret. Squinting against the soft sunlight, he turned around and sat down next to Merlin, ignoring the baffled gasp when he stole the grass and started to roll it between his own fingers. No one could see them up here, and despite the fact that everything hadn't been resolved, it felt good to just sit here, together. "It just makes you wonder why she chose my father."
Merlin kept quiet, knowing it was what Arthur wanted - what he needed. He was grateful. "I've watched the guy…" Arthur glanced at him sideways, meeting his gaze briefly. "…and it's like he doesn't feel anything at all. Maybe he's always been like that, but maybe she made him this way." He clenched his jaw, a mixture of anger and incertainty filling him up, all the way.
"From everything I've heard about your mother, I don't think she was the kind of person who would intentionally hurt someone that badly. Not if there was any other way around it."
"I haven't visited her grave in years." He sighed, cast his eyes downward in shame. "She gave her life for mine. I mean, the very least I could do is go see her every once in a while, right? What kind of son doesn't even…?" His voice faltered. He had never felt this particular burden weigh so heavily upon him. All throughout his life, his mother's death had been pushed to the back of his reality, and no one ever spoke of her.
The guilt ate away at him.
Merlin
"Maybe you're like me…" Merlin tried, knowing it would elicit a snarky comment. Which would actually feel good, for a change. He needed to get him of this rut, make him face the issue and overcome it. The fact that Arthur was letting him in like this meant he still valued their friendship, though he would probably never admit to it, and Merlin had to be the friend Arthur needed right now, to help him through it all.
"Highly unlikely." Arthur mumbled, but his heart wasn't in it this time. The fatigue that had come over him was apparent in the circles underneath his eyes, and the way he rubbed his fist against them, wishing for them to disappear.
"… graves creep me out. And it's not that I never think of those I loved who've have left this world, it's just that I can't bear to know that they're in there, nothing more than an empty shell of who they once were."
He made move to lay his hand on Arthur's arm in reassurance, but left it hanging in the air between them, mere inches away from his skin. When Arthur noticed, he tilted his head in a silent question, and Merlin felt lost, not being able to come up with an answer. Letting his fingers fall back to his side, he placed them around his knees, pulling them against his body.
"You're not a bad son." he continued confidently, trying to get Arthur to see the truth. "And even if you feel like you have been, there is no way she would blame you for it – because she's your mother, Arthur. And you're in no way to blame for what happened to her."
He knew he had struck a chord when Arthur suddenly stood, his throat moving from swallowing hard, and he spoke. "We're going off subject."
Arthur
He looked out to the courtyard, that had once been filled with people, but now lay abandoned and silent amidst the dirty white buildings – trying to compose himself. "We're going hunting tonight."
Arthur grinned when he heard Merlin groan in discontent. "Do I have to? You know I don't like it when we go."
"Guess what, Merlin?" He flicked his servant in the head playfully, teasing his friend. Sometimes, he felt as if Merlin was his kid brother, who he needed to look out for without being too overbearing. He hadn't told Merlin of the dragon's warning, and wanted to keep him close by just in case. "…sometimes, people have to do things in life that they don't like to do. It builds character and muscle, making you a big, strong boy." Arthur looked at Merlin's scrawny features, then laughed. "In any case, it doesn't hurt to try."
Merlin glared at him, before sighing defeatedly. "When do you need me?"
-
Grady
He walked the hallways confidently, making his fingertips skid against the walls, touching every bit of the castle that he could. He needed to familiarize himself with every dent, every brick and every fiber of this place, and needed to make himself known to it as the new occupant. It was working, he happily thought as he imagined the warmth spreading through his body and the surface, it was as if his own life juice now streamed through the veins of this place. The wonders he would do.
His hand curled around the doorknob he had searched for, feeling the pulsating warmth quicken. Rapping against the wood, he heard a weak voice tell him it was okay to enter. Being faced with a man he had not met before, he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"I'm sorry," he said " I'm looking for Arthur, do you know where he is?"
"No." The voice was hard, angry, and Grady nearly felt ashamed for what he might have said that was so wrong. "You should ask his other servant." The man bit out. "He knows loads more than I do about 'my' master."
Ah. "That's odd." Grady took a few steps closer, reveling in the anger that made the air crackle and swirl. He could use this to his advantage. "I've never heard of a prince having two man servants before."
"That's because it's rubbish." With a force that made the tabletop shake, Belior's hand cupped all the filth that lay there and wiped it into the bucket used especially for that purpose. "He only has one servant. I'm his maid."
Grady shook his head, pretending to be outraged. "That's not right. You deserve as much credit as the other guy – more, even. After all, you're the one cleaning up his mess, are you not?" Sitting down on Arthur's newly made bed, he watched as shoulders tensed and hands shook. "How about I offer you a job that's more worthy of you?"
Belior laughed bitterly. "You have no say in this court, I'm afraid."
Not yet. "You're right, I don't… but I can make you an offer that's beyond your wildest imagination."
-
He triumphantically walked into his chambers, briefly touching his guardian's back as he walked by. As always, Ulrich was writing yet again – documents that he knew nothing of, and wasn't allowed to even glance at. Raising himself to sit on the windowledge, he waited for his companion to look up.
"I've got news," he exclaimed brightly. "Someone in this castle, very close to Arthur, is willing to give us a hand, in return for a small compensation."
"Who?" The Lord didn't seem impressed, for no doubt he feared the idea would have no effect whatsoever. When it came to things like this, he always regarded his young ward to be useless and clumsy – a fool.
"Arthur's other servant. Apparently, the man doesn't think he's getting enough credit, Arthur being off with Merlin all the time, and the rage in him has built to a height where he may be of service to us." Grady raised his indexfinger, trying to show up his master by spouting wisdom. "A disgruntled servant is as fierce as a lover scorned."
He wished he hadn't spoken the words when Ulrich's face twisted in agony. He could, after all, count himself to be a member of the latter category. Damn it, he should have known. But just like that, the older man's face cleared, and he nodded softly. "You're right." He spoke. "Well done. Has he any news for us?"
"They're going on a hunting trip tonight. Merlin and Arthur – and the knights of Camelot." His eyes shone because of the praise he had been given, and he felt his power build.
"Get yourself invited for the ride." Ulrich raised his eyebrows in a meaningful way. " I have a feeling it is going to be an interesting trip."
-
Merlin
His eyes bore in the back of Grady's head, not a single detail missed. Sure, he had told Arthur that is wasn't necessary to not trust his cousin, but the truth was that if the guardian was involved, the ward may very well be in on the scheme. Telling Arthur that would be a disaster, one he couldn't risk – not now that they'd grown closer again.
Damn it, he hated their hunting trips…The fear of being used as live bait never failed to make his skin crawl in advance. To tell the truth, it didn't happen every time that he was being shoved into the direction of a potentially dangerous animal, but the times it had happened had never ended in a success. He either nearly fainted at the sight of the prey or stepped on a branch and spooked it, followed by Arthur hitting him on the head. The headaches afterwards were a nightmare.
He tied the reigns of his horse around a thick branch and stroked its neck. "I guess I'll see you later," he whispered, before relunctantly following the group of men further into the woods.
"Merlin!"
He trotted to the head of the group, taking his position by Arthur's side – weasling himself between the two cousins – and spoke. "Alright, I'm here." "Don't panic," he added with a grin. There, Grady, you're not the only important friend in the top ranks.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Just give me the crossbow," he murmured. "And stay close."
The group advanced in formation, not noticing that one of the knights that normally held a background position, now took second row. Out of nowhere, he put a hand on Merlin's shoulder, scaring him.
"Meeerlin!" Arthur drawled angrily, cursing his servant for not shutting up. "Will you shut up? You'll spook things." His eyes flashed as a memory came to him. "Like you did the last time."
Grady chuckled in satisfaction, and Merlin felt his dislike of the man growing by the second. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Just scared me, is all." He turned to the knight with a questioning look on his face, and the man responded by putting a finger to his lips and motioning for him to wait until the rest of them had left.
Merlin nodded and stayed where he was, awaiting the man's next words.
-
Arthur
He silently advanced deep into the forest, proud of himself for not even making a single twig crackle underneath his movements. Over the years, had learned to walk soundless, something someone still needed to master.
Their prey came into sight. A large deer stood in between the ancient oaks, grazing as if he were not being watched. Animals could be so oblivious, so utterly carefree, that it made him envious. Yet he related to the animal - - he was being observed by an enemy, unseen…silent and yet more powerful than the deer could ever defeat on his own.
He probably didn't have anyone to watch out for him.
Positioning the crossbow so the arrow pointed straight at the animal's flank, he pulled it back with his fingers, determined to kill. The tension was building up inside his own muscles, the sheer thrill of being the dominant one filling up his entire being. But all of a sudden, the weapon fell from his hands, and he gripped his head, trying to control the piercing pain that shot through the entire length of his brain, making it difficult for him to breathe.
"Arthur, are you alright?" Grady's hand pressed against his shoulder, trying to get through the hazy fog that had built inside of him. Arthur shook him off - his cousin wasn't the person he needed around right now, who he really needed by his side was… Arthur's eyes swept their gathering, looking for Merlin. When he didn't see him, panic filled his lungs, the short, forceful stabs making him gasp for air. Pushing himself between the mass of bodies, he stumbled through the weeds. Feverishly, he searched, never finding.
Then a cry filled the woods. And he knew whose it was.
"MERLIN!"
So? (bites lip anxiously) Please tell me what you think?
Xo, as always!