~Kellan~

I'm in love. I'm head over heels. I'm talking red roses, giant hearts, cupid's hit me with an arrow, L-O-V-E, love. How am I going to tell my parents? How am I going to tell anyone? Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone, maybe it could be a secret? These are the things that I thought about while I am making out with my future wife. It's not as if I am trying to not think about Emilia, I am just trying to distract myself, because I know that if I think about the mistake I'm making right now, then my brain will probably explode.

I suspected before that this may have been love, but I was never 100 percent sure, and now I am. Kissing her is like breathing, I cant stop because if I do I am afraid of… what? … I don't know, just afraid. And it feels pretty damned good too.

~Emilia~

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Each time I remember that I'm kissing Kellan, it's like a shockwave of pleasure through my body. I'm practically shivering with excitement. I am so intoxicated by him, his smell, his taste, his touch. Everything about him draws me in, leaving me a senseless bumbling idiot. There's nothing I can do to stop it. I can just sit back and enjoy. It feels like we've been here for hours, kissing, tasting, experimenting, exploring. I want to get closer, be closer to him, but we're in a public place. Wait, we're in a public place. I don't want to stop kissing him, but I need to look around. I reluctantly break away having to physically pull myself back by grasping the sides of the table in between us. Kellan looks at me with confusion clear on his face, and pain.

Now I feel awful. I carefully avoid his glance and look around at the fairly empty café. There's Hunter behind the counter, but he's looking away as if everything is normal, there's a couple of people but they're too involved in they're own lives to notice. I'm surprised at the lack of attention, because if we were in a Cross café then it would be a major shock, but here, where it's comfy and quiet, it seems almost … normal. Which is impossible, because it will never be normal, kissing a Cross, it's wrong and forbidden, it's like an unwritten rule. Crosses and noughts, don't mix.

What am I doing? This will never end well. I have to stop now before I get hurt, before I get my heart broken. I just have to deal with the fact that we will never, can never be together. I have to nip it in the bud, because these feelings are growing too strong for me to deal with and if they get any stronger then heartbreak could literally be a life or death situation.

~Kellan~

I clear my throat, my mouth dry, "What's wrong?" I ask, wanting to be closer to her, to be near her all the time.

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. I want to reach out and touch her cheek and tell her it's ok, but I know that it won't. It will never be ok.

"I … have to go," She murmurs under her breath, looking at the floor. Then suddenly, she stands up and walks swiftly out of the café, leaving me alone at a table, with a dazed expression on my face.

~Emilia~

Sorry Kellan. Sorry Kellan. Sorry Kellan. You deserve better and I know that. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry…

"Sorry." I mumble after bumping into someone outside. I barely notice the person I bump into, but I wouldn't be able to see them anyway, when my eyes are spilling over with tears. All I know is it's a female Cross. Why do Crosses go out at night? Aren't they afraid of nought knife crimes or something? Whatever.

I feel a churning in the pit of my stomach as my despair turns to anger. I hate Crosses and their stupid rules! Me and Kellan could be together if it weren't for them. I hate Crosses! Not Kellan of course, that would be idiotic. But most of all I hate that I am not one of them. I hate that I'm a nought and their not. It's alright for Kellan to make moves in private when no ones around, but I'm the reason it's a secret, I am the one who gets beaten nearly to death for it. And I'm tired of being that person. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, but, I'm tired of being a nought.