1Disclaimer: Don't sue me 'cause I'm close to the edge, I'm tryin' not to lose my head.
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The plane carrying Kim, Bonnie, Ron, Rufus, Dr. Director, Kim's Roth SL Coupe and assorted other people and things took off from an airstrip in Portugal, bound for Global Justice's worldwide heaquarters outside Kim's home town of Middleton. After the plane reached cruising altitude, Dr. Director summoned the teens to an ersatz office she had set up near the cockpit. Everyone just sat there for a little while waiting for someone to began the discussion. Finally, Dr. Director spoke up.
"So, anyway, Will briefed me on yesterday's events, but I would like you to fill me in on a few more details. I understand that Motor Ed was attempting to trigger a tsunami by creating a massive landslide."
"Yes, ma'am," said Kim. "He stole the electro-magneto accelerator from MIST and had set up a long string of speakers all along the main ridge."
"I see." Dr. Director already knew exactly what as had happened, how it happened and who was involved, and was just doodling in her notebook. "Anyway, we actually had everything we needed beforehand. There were several reasons I wanted to have this meeting, none of which have anything to do with the mission you just completed successfully."
"I'm sorry, what?" asked Ron.
"The real reasons we needed to have a meeting as soon as possible with everyone having had a good night's sleep and without our 'Number One Agent.'" Betty used air quotes for this last bit. "First, as you mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago, Kim, you were concerned about your lack of firepower."
"That's right, Dr. Director"
"Please, call me 'Betty.' We're all adults here."
"Sorry, force of habit. It's just something that a few people, including Bonnie here, have brought up in recent weeks."
"They were shooting at us, and we didn't have anything to shoot back with," said Bonnie.
"Actually, the 'they' you mention, that's one of the other things I would also like to cover, but we'll get to them later." Betty then turned back to Kim. "Arming your vehicle and arming yourself are two different issues in my mind. If we add armaments to the Sloth, I would prefer that we do so here. Not that your brothers would not do an excellent job, it's just that I'm not sure mixing young adolescents and weaponry is a good idea."
"Well, they did build a grappling beam that could disassemble a car in seconds..." mentioned Ron offhandedly, drawing a glare from Bonnie.
"Hmm, I would be more likely to trust them with that than with more conventional arms," said the eyepatched administrator thoughtfully. "I don't see any reason why they couldn't go ahead and add it. Now as far as arming yourself, would you be willing to go through a training course?"
"Yes, ma'am, I think I could do that."
"So could I," added Bonnie.
"Bonnie..." Kim was afraid they would have yet another spat, and she really did hate to engage in that sort of behavior around the director of such a powerful agency.
"I know we haven't seen much of each other before, at least in person. However, we have put together a bit of a dossier on you." Betty pulled out a file containing a few pictures and a number of other documents.
"Bonnie Rockwaller. Born exactly nineteen days after Kim Possible in San Diego, California, the youngest of three. Moved to Middleton at age five. Began taking ballet that same year, yada yada yada, longtime second-in-command to Kim Possible for Middleton High School cheerleaders, began dating Señor Senior, Junior last October, graduated July due to particularly draconian application of district policy by Steven Barkin..."
"See, Ron. He didn't just have it out for you and Possible."
"And now the part that really caught my eyes. Er, um, eye. 'Ended relationship with SSJ two days ago, successfully protected Team Possible during attempted ambush.' Which bring me to the last two items on the agenda. First, Wade informed me last night that he picked up some chatter from the people who sent the black choppers after you all."
"Why are you just telling us this now?" asked Bonnie.
"The Kimmunicator was shut down, and Wade presumed that Kim and Ron wanted some privacy. So as it turns out, Wade and our analysts were able to connect them to Sheldon."
"Your brother and the Worldwide Evil Empire?" asked Kim.
"So, when can I go in and wipe them out?" Bonnie asked Betty.
"If you are willing to go through some training with Kim and Ron, and you are willing to share credit with them where credit is due, and the right opportunity arises..."
"Like when they try to shoot us up again?" Bonnie's countenance darkened.
"No, when they are about to try to launch an attack. Now that we have found their base, we can set up a constant vigil. We catch them at the right time, we can wipe them out."
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Even Kim was impressed by Bonnie's attitude there, although Ron seemed a bit puzzled. He didn't want to say anything to that effect in front of Bonnie, of course, but the phrase "five hundred miles of bad road" kept echoing in his head.
"Before we adjourn, any questions?" The younger people looked at one another and decided against asking anything further. "Good, because there is something I would like to say to Bonnie. The rest of you may remain provided you let me speak uninterrupted. Bonnie, as you may have figured out by now, anyone who matters here at Global Justice thinks very, very highly of Kim and Ron. And I don't know how to put this but we're kind of a big deal on the world stage. The sort of information that we have about you should give you an idea about what we can see, what we can hear, and what we can do. In short, it will be solely up to Kim and Ron in regards to whether you will accompany them on any further missions. If Kim believes that you are in any way inhibiting her work, she has the right to deal with you as she pleases. I am authorizing her to be judge, jury and executioner when it's just between you and her. And if it comes down to your word versus hers, until proven otherwise...do I really need to finish that last statement? On that note, please enjoy the rest of your flight."
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The plane touched down on the outskirts of Middleton that afternoon. Everyone had slept most of the way across the Atlantic and over the North American continent. To ensure that no one would divulge the exact location of the airstrip, mainly because Bonnie was not entirely a known quantity as far as Dr. Director was concerned, the Sloth and all its occupants were packed into a shipping container and not let out until they were outside Ron's second home, Bueno Nacho.
"This is convenient; I could hear a naco calling my name for the past five hours," said Ron.
"That wasn't a naco talking, that was me!" replied Kim. "You fell asleep on top of me. My legs just now woke up."
"Sorry about that, KP." Everyone found their way inside, ordered a late lunch/early dinner and found their way to their usual booth.
"I'll bet that wasn't the first time you fell asleep on top of her," muttered Bonnie under her breath; fortunately for everyone in the Bueno Nacho, no one could hear her. Ron and Rufus ate absurd quantities of "food" remarkably quickly and neatly, while Kim and Bonnie seemed to savor their meals. Just as Ron and Rufus were contemplating ordering seconds, the Kimmunicator went off again.
"If someone needs help, tell them to call back tomorrow," said Bonnie. Nonetheless, Kim answered.
"Monique? Yeah, we just got back. Oh, the usual, keeping the East Coast safe from mulleted morons." Kim stepped outside to continue the conversation. "To be honest, I came very close to doing unspeakable things to her. No, not that kind, although she seemed to want to do those to Ron. Yeah, basically. In spite of everything that happened, I think that would be good for her. I'll ask them, but I think Bonnie would be more into it than Ron. I don't want to abuse that ability. It's kind of a paradox isn't it. Ok, if they're up for it, we'll be there in a half hour."
Kim stepped back inside and returned to the booth with Monique's plan for the remainder of the afternoon. "Okay, Monique decided that you two need new mission outfits."
"Wait a minute. Kim, can you come with me for a second?" Ron and Kim got up and went behind the counter. Rufus hopped out of Ron's pocket and stayed with Bonnie.
"Hey, if you touch anything, you buy it!" warned Ned. "And wash your hands!"
"KP, have you forgotten who we're dealing with here? Especially with the way she's been acting around us, and more specifically me? Having her get official mission clothes kind of says, 'Hey, I plan to have you join us for a lot of these!'"
"Ron!" Kim glanced around to make sure Bonnie was definitely not in earshot. Ned sensed that they wanted privacy and pulled a fire alarm.
"Look, we, and by that I mean you, are reponsible for breaking her and Junior up, and that cut her out of a lot of money. If we keep her with us, she can't very well be plotting some sort of elaborate revenge against us, now can she?" Ron pondered this for a moment.
"You're just looking for a reason to hit Club Banana again." Ron was trying to get Kim to take things easy for the first time in what felt like forever. The only other way Ron knew how to do such a thing was not something that could be done in public, at least legally. However, talking Kim down seemed to be working, as a smile crept across her face for the first time since they had touched back down in the United States.
"True, but I figured that since I got a new mission outfit, you should get one that goes better with mine." Then Kim unleashed the weapon that Monique had warned her about overusing in the past.
"You know, KP, I'm building up a resistance to the Puppy Dog Pout, and I'm not going to...YAAAGH! Can't take it anymore! Club Banana in ten it is!" Ron shouted as he ran back into the main dining area of Bueno Nacho, which, fortunately for all of Team Possible, was nearly empty. Bonnie still slid a bit further under the table, while Rufus jumped into where he thought was a safe hiding place. Bonnie pulled him out almost immediately.
"Hi," said Rufus, attempting to be as cute as possible. Bonnie was not impressed and she put Rufus in an empty naco wrapper, which suited him nicely, seeing as there was still a good amount of hand-pumped cheese on it.
"Come on, Bonnie, Club Banana beckons." The prospect of running up a few hundred more dollars in credit card debt was an appealing one to Bonnie, although she made sure to keep herself as invisible as possible en route to the mall.
--
The four of them arrived at Club Banana and within ten seconds both Bonnie and Ron found themselves perusing a pile of sketches Monique had evidently been preparing for a lot longer than Bonnie had been anything other than Kim's frenemy or the girlfriend of an impossibly rich, impossibly imbecilic, impossibly untalented wannabe pop star.
"Monique, is there something you haven't told me? Are you like some kind of psychic or something?" Monique thought about Kim's question for a second, then burst out laughing. Somehow, she was still able to provide a coherent response.
"Me? A psychic? Who'd ever believe that? Besides, if I were a psychic, do you think I'd be working here?"
"You could never live without a CB employee discount, even if you did win the lottery all the time and could pretty much buy whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted." Kim trailed off as she came to the realization that she had answered her own question. Ron and Bonnie had sorted through Monique's ideas. Ron returned to Kim and Monique with a few of the sketches.
"This is my 'maybe' pile." Monique went through the handful of Ron-approved outfits, pulling out one in particular.
"I like this one." Monique ran next door to another store that was part of the Club Banana/Smarty Mart empire, dragging Ron with her. Kim and Bonnie followed close behind them. Ron emerged from the dressing room wearing a suit similar to that which was given to him back when he was being mentored by Canadian spy-turned-janitor Joe. Kim and Monique seemed to approve, while Bonnie was too busy sorting Monique's sketches into "no," "hell no" and "are you blind?" piles. Ron took off the jacket as he retreated towards the dressing room. However, the shirt he was wearing snagged on the jacket, and he was left wearing nothing above the waist except for a bow tie.
"Well, at least my pants stayed on...oh, hey Tara." When Kim saw Tara pull out a few dollar bills, she hurriedly ushered Ron back into the dressing room.
"Maybe you should try something that's less easily removable," said Kim as she shut the door behind Ron. She returned to Bonnie and Monique. By this time, Bonnie had finally found a few ideas that she did not abhor, much to Kim and Monique's relief and more than a little amazement. Everyone returned to Club Banana for Monique to put together some of the outfits she had developed for Bonnie. First came a red jumpsuit. Monique seemed to like it, but then Kim spoke up.
"I like the color, but a thousand bucks says it'll get torn off somehow next time you and Ron are alone."
"Not if I can help it," replied Bonnie.
"I don't think you can. Next!" Bonnie retreated to the dressing room. Next came an outfit more similar to Kim's, except a lot of neon green in a familiar pattern.
"Um, something about that just doesn't look right." By this point Ron had returned to Club Banana from next door.
"Kim, Bonnie is not going to come with us dressed like Shego, is she?"
"No, she will not. Monique, you told me you had good ideas!"
"Girl, I just said I had ideas. Didn't say anything about them being good. Besides, I thought your archfoe had something good going with the black and green."
"Third time had better be the charm," said a voice emanating from the dressing room. The door flew open. Kim, Ron, Rufus and Monique's eyes all lit up almost simultaneously, although in Rufus' case, it was because he saw another mall patron leave a plate full of nachos behind on a bench outside the store."
"Mission accomplished!" proclaimed Monique.
"Hey, what about my mission outfit?" asked Ron.
"Change of heart, you don't need to change a thing, Ron." Bonnie picked up six more everything, and whipped out one of the credit cards that Señor Senior, Junior had given her, hoping that neither he nor his father had canceled them yet. They had not, and Bonnie handed a few large bags to Ron to carry out to the Sloth. Rufus jumped into Ron's pocket as the group left the store. While Ron loaded everything into the backseat, Bonnie pulled out her vibrating phone. She had received a text from "number unknown;"
"Bonnie we need to meet ASAP...2night?"
"Who was that, B?" asked Kim.
"I'd rather not say, K." Maybe if this meeting went well for Bonnie, she wouldn't have to worry about this whole "pretend to be nice and helpful to Kim" thing for much longer.
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Notes: I would like to wrap this story sooner rather than later, hopefully within the next five or six chapters. Chapter twelve should be up by the end of this month, but after that things may take longer.