1Disclaimer: No longer necessary at this point, if it ever was at any point.

--

Kim dropped Bonnie off at her house after a long day. Fortunately for her, none of the rest of her family was at home. Her mother would want to know every single minute detail about her mission, followed by having to listen to her gush on and on about her little Bon-Bon and how she finally was playing nice with her friends. Her sisters? Bonnie could not even begin to name the reasons she was glad not to see any sign of them. She was also glad that Kim had no idea what she was really up to, although she was concerned that Ron could conceivably stumble onto it.

She parked herself in front of the television, and just as she was about to turn the idiot panel on, her phone began to vibrate again. As it did earlier at the mall, her phone indicated that the call was from an unknown number. "What do you want? Hey, hey don't get your panties in a bunch. I didn't until you told me. We need to meet again tonight? Okay, I can do that. Yeah, whatever." Bonnie hung up and turned her phone off. "I can't believe I'm actually working with this guy."

On a whim, Bonnie ran upstairs to Connie's room and entered "Phil Thom Speese" into an anagram generator. As the alpha bitch in high school, she would never admit to actually knowing what an anagram was or that it would occur to her to try to anagramize someone's name simply out of curiosity, but high school was over and done with. The first result that popped up was "Mephistopheles." Doing a little more research, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. This guy, while obviously loaded, judging by the quantity and quality of the gift he had given her the other night, was just another one of those lame-ass villains that Kim and Ron were always off fighting all throughout high school, like that one guy who wanted a dollar from everyone or he'd shut down the Internet or something else like that, or whoever made Ron get stuck in the giant hamster ball. If only they hadn't canceled the ski trip their senior year. Even the presence of her overbearing mother couldn't have gotten her down too much.

Bonnie ran back downstairs, lest she reminisce too much for one lifetime, and she turned her phone back on, just in case any important, cool, or Kim and/or Ron called. She was about to call Tara for no particular reason, but then the phone rang. The same unknown number as before showed up. "Yes? Okay, I'll be out front. Well, if you're that paranoid about it, I can walk out to the corner. I'll meet you out there. Ok, bye." Bonnie grabbed a couple of things, and stepped outside. Out of the corner of one eye, she thought she could see the car that had picked her up from Tara's house the other night. Her eyes did not deceive her, and she quickly got in, as her parents and sisters were wont to arrive home just as she was leaving, particularly in cases where Bonnie did not want to be trailed or interrogated. Her haste was warranted, since just as she and Phil drove off, Bonnie saw a car pull into her driveway.

--

Kim and Ron were huddled together on the couch despite the presence of the Tweebs. Usually, any show of affection between Ron and their sister resulted in Jim and Tim generating a long series of gagging noises, eventually followed by surface-to-couple missile attacks if they didn't give up and take their affection elsewhere. But this time, there had been no attacks, no signs of revulsion at all from the twins. Kim hoped that they had turned over a new leaf, but she feared their inaction was merely the calm before the storm.

"KP, can we move somewhere more...private? I'd like to talk about something strictly one-on-one," Ron requested.

"Anything you can say to her..." said Jim,

"...you can say to us," finished Tim.

"It's not so much what we will be saying, as it is what we'll be doing," said Ron. It took a second for the Tweebs to realize exactly what he was talking about, but if it shocked, disgusted or in any way, shape or form affected them at all, it didn't show on their faces.

"But Ron..." Kim began before she was interrupted.

"Just go along with it, KP," whispered Ron; she smirked knowingly and allowed Ron to sweep her off her feet as he had done a number of times before, both figuratively and literally. As Ron carried Kim upstairs, a couple of voices called out from the living room.

"Keep it down up there!"

"And close your door! Mom and Dad could be back any time!" Meanwhile, in Kim's room, on Kim's bed...

"What was so important that you couldn't say it front of the Tweebs?" asked Kim with equal parts intrigue and concern. "And what was the deal with them not trying to bother us out there, or in here?" Ron was at a loss for words momentarily.

"I...love you," Ron said as he was fumbling for words to describe what he was really thinking about. It was clear to Kim that while what he said was true, he was looking to talk about something else, probably something a lot more troubling to him.

"That's not what you brought me up here to tell me, was it Ron?" Kim's facial expression turned from skepticism to an almost predatory gaze. "I mean, I like your choice in default saying, but you know actions speak louder than words." She began to crawl towards Ron.

"I guess I just wanted to talk a little more about the Bonnie sitch."

"What about it?" Kim called off her offensive and sat back down next to Ron.

"My bad road detector seems to be picking up something off of her. Kind of like it did with Monkey Fist, but there's something different this time."

"What do you mean? Is your Mystical Monkey Power doing something?"

"No, that's got nothing to do with it. It's more like she doesn't know whether she wants to be bad road or not."

"Well, let's look at the reasons she would turn against us. She has never been a fan of either of us all throughout the time we've known her, you derailed her gravy train, and she's always been the sort of person who would rather fail as long as I failed more, rather than succeed if I succeeded more. Now, what reasons would she have for helping us?"

"Sure, give me the hard question." Ron sat there trying to come up with a reason Bonnie would join Team Possible. He was able to come up with two. "Okay, the first thing I can think of is extremely silly and implausible, so I'll start with the second thing. You know how you said that she would rather fail if you failed worse than succeed if you succeeded better? Maybe she thinks she can do the whole 'save the world' thing better than you can."

"And you thought your first thought was too silly?" was all Kim had to say to that. "Now I really want to know what you thought was too implausible an explanation for Bonnie's actions."

"Okay. Promise you won't be mad?"

"I promise, but why would I be mad?"

"You'll see. Anyway, my first thought was that Bonnie was..." Ron was barely able to keep his composure here, "...crushing on me." After he finished, he let the floodgates open, and let the laughter erupt from him for a good thirty seconds. Kim joined him briefly, but most she expended most of her effort maintaining her promise to Ron.

"To be honest," Kim said as Ron's laughter died down, "I'm not entirely sure that's too far off."

"Seriously?"

"Please, we just did battle with Motor Ed. I've had enough of that word for three lifetimes."

"Okay, Red," Ron said, doing an impression of their latest perp. "Continue with your 'why Bonnie crushing on me isn't as silly as it sounds' thing."

"Because the last couple of days, she has been unable to keep her clothes on around you or her hands off of your clothes."

"That's true, but I was thinking more along the lines of she has to have everything that you have, and that I am part of that everything."

"That sounds more Bonnie-esque than her actually being attracted to you, unless you've gotten another naco royalty check."

"Not that I know of," Ron laughed, "but anyway, maybe you and Bonnie should hang out some. See if you can get a better feel for her. And see if Dr. Director can find out a little more about her that we don't already know. All of their intel on her sounds like it's just from overhearing things we've said about her, although maybe Barkin told them some things."

"You think Global Justice should be spying on her?"

"Hey, if she really is bad road, let's find out here, and not when we're about to get blown up or something like that." Kim and Ron just sort of sat there for a while, waiting for someone to say something. Pretty soon, their lips did start to move, not because they had resumed the conversation, but because they had once again decided to practice mouth-to-mouth on one another.

"You know, we can't always break awkweird silences this way."

"Especially when there are witnesses." In all the commotion, Kim and Ron had failed to notice Kim's parents returning home.

"Mister Doctor P," said Ron, suddenly sweating for a different reason than he was a few seconds ago. "How long have you been there?"

"About five minutes. Don't worry Ronald, the black hole probe will not be manned unless my Kimmie-cub says it should be." Ron scampered downstairs.

"Dad, why did you open the door? Do you realize what we could be doing up here?"

"I figured since the twins hadn't turned the TV up too much, I wouldn't be interrupting anything too terribly intimate. Not something I really want to be thinking about, but..."

"Can we please change the subject?"

"Okay, have any preferences?"

"Well, when we first came up here, Ron wanted to talk about the whole Bonnie sitch. See, she's been acting very strange lately."

"Women tend to do that after a break-up...you know, when I met your mother, she was using syringes as darts, and then she..."

"Not really relevant, Dad. Anyway, Ron thinks she may be up to something, and I think he could be right. But if she is, I don't want her to know that we know, so that's why I think we should treat her like she is a member of Team Possible. I mean, today, after we got home, we got her a mission outfit." The rocket scientist sat there and thought about things for a minute, then said three words that he absolutely hated saying, especially to his daughter when she was looking for answers.

"I don't know," he sighed. "What I do know is that you and Ronald together tend to be much better judges of character than either of you apart. Whatever you decide, make the decision together. You need to get some sleep, you've had a busy last few days." He turned out the lights and shut the door behind him.

--

Bonnie's ride to the apartment was quiet at first, but then she got to talking with Phil.

"What's the deal with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I put your name into one of those anagram generators, it came back with 'Mephistopheles,' and me signing in blood? I mean, what the hell?"

"I guess I was just trying to have some kind of theme. See, I grew up in Go City, and all the villains there had some kind of theme. I always thought they were so much cooler than those Team Go jackoffs."

"Who always ended up winning," retorted Bonnie.

"The villains failed because they were even bigger idiots than their adversaries, which is quite an accomplishment, not because they had a tradition that they believed in. Anyway, I guess I was going for tradition over practicality. In fact, that's one reason I sought you out. I thought you'd understand about being evil while also upholding some kind of tradition."

"I still don't follow." Bonnie was still unconvinced that he wasn't nuts. "I mean, Triple S was all about tradition, but all that meant was that he let Kim go when every time he had the chance to turn her into vulture chow. Do you realize how frustrating it is to see your greatest fantasy come so close to reality, and then to see it disappear all in the name of tradition?" Phil almost had to stop to gather himself to be able to resume the conversation after that little outburst.

"Once we get to my place, it will all make sense." They arrived at Phil's apartment a minute later. It was largely as Bonnie remembered it, but there were papers, brochures and Henchco catalogs scattered everywhere. "I'm starting to think that you are having second thoughts about what you have gotten yourself into. I was there once, but after my first time, that part of it just got easier and easier."

"Cut the crap, I'm ready to do this."

"Aren't we eager? I don't have everything finalized yet, but I have a basic idea of what we can do to Kim." Phil then proceeded to talk about his idea. As Bonnie listened, she began to realize that this loser was not as crazy as she thought. A loser nonetheless, but still, she decided that this was worth going through. "Well, you haven't said a lot. What do you think?"

"I think you're onto something. Just one question? What do you have against Kim?" Phil pulled out a piece of paper with Kim's picture on it. It looked a little bit like a traditional wanted poster, only with a very non-traditional value for the reward.

"You could get a much nicer place than this for five hundred million," said Bonnie.

"I could get a much nicer place than this right now," replied Phil. "Remember the diamonds I got you?" Bonnie pulled out the box that she had brought with her.

"I wanted to have them with me so that I could throw them in your face if I didn't like what I was hearing. But you've won me over. I was worried I'd have to keep up this facade for like, two weeks or something before we could get this done." For the first since they had met, Bonnie thought she saw Phil smile. In fact, this particular encounter was the first time that she had seen his face or heard his real voice.

"I'm glad you're deciding to keep them. See, now if I had paid full-price for them, I might be a little happier if you gave them back, but given that I got them at a discount..."

"How much of a discount are we talking about here?" asked Bonnie, even though she had a pretty good idea of what the answer would be.

"One hundred percent." Phil tossed Bonnie a yellowing newspaper. "If you want to know anything more about how I did it, don't read anything in there. The writers clearly have no idea what happened."

"Any questions before I run you back home? I presume you'll want me to drop you off a little ways from your house."

"Just one. What if Kim doesn't let me go on her next mission?"

"If that happens, then I will have to modify my plans a bit. I really do not want to have to do that, so, for the love of God, please don't do anything else to piss her off. I realize that is an integral part of your personality, but please do try to keep that part of you down for as long as you can." Bonnie's indifference to this request was not unexpected, but Phil hoped that she got the message.

--

Notes: There should be around three to four chapters to go. I once again thanks everyone who has been able to keep up with this story, and especially those who have left reviews. At times, this has been harder than I thought, and other times it has been easier. I have discovered more about how I write doing this than I did in most of my English classes. My schedule could be getting a bit more hectic soon, so I don't know when my next update will be.