Chapter 13

Michaela only took Sully's call after she'd hitched Wolf to his favorite toy – the dog car, and asked Brian not to drive too fast in the yard. Sitting on the top step of the porch stair, she watched the two of them as she finally silenced her vibrating cell phone by opening it. Pressing it against her ear, she glanced at Brian again to make sure he wouldn't be able to hear her conversation. She didn't say anything though, but only listened to the silence that came from the other end of the line.

Sully was too surprised to speak right away when not the busy signal greeted him as it had during the last hour. Actually, he was already close to calling Robert E. or even Hank in order to ask them whether one of them would take him to Michaela. Yet obviously she was ready to listen to him now, and all he could do was hope that he was using the right words as he implored, "Michaela, please, you gotta believe me… nothin' ever happened between me and Catherine. I wouldn't let it!"

Anxiously, he waited for a reply but he didn't get one.

"Michaela," he repeated, "please!"

Yet the silence only stretched. Desperate for her to talk to him he at last dropped his pride and revealed, "Even if I'd wanted I couldn't have…"

"It's not about that," her sad voice cut him off, sparing him from going into detail.

Sully's initial relief about the realization that Michaela still trusted him quickly faded when she didn't offer further explanation. He wasn't sure what to say next, fearing he'd make things only worse. He wished he could see her face, read the expression in her eyes. As the thought hit him that she wasn't talking because she was crying he felt a lump growing in his throat. "Michaela…" his voice cracked as he spoke her name, and he swallowed hard.

Yet she simply couldn't respond for too many thoughts were swirling through her mind. All those unanswered questions… and the most important was whether she should, as Charlotte had advised, tell Sully about her possible pregnancy. Yet she wasn't sure about how he would take this news, remembering clearly a conversation from some weeks ago. He'd told her he didn't want another child.

Apart from that, she had seen him a tad too often allowing anger taking the reins, guiding his words and actions. In addition, she didn't want to think about that other woman in his life.

"Michaela," Sully tried again, "Please talk to me."

And finally she reacted, "I can't."

"Alright," he hastily acknowledged her decision, fearing she might put the receiver down. Struggling for words that wouldn't upset her further, he at last said, "If ya change your mind… I'll always be here."

The line wasn't dead yet, and Sully already hoped Michaela might reconsider when he heard a child's voice calling for her from the background, "Dr. Mike! Can ya see us? That's so much fun!"

"I have to go," Michaela quietly informed him, and then Sully was alone.

That night, a different kind of dreams began haunting him. He would hold Michaela in his arms, caress her soft skin, kiss her warm lips. And when he would wake up in the morning, he'd know that apart from his legs, every other part of his body worked just fine.

xxx

Whilst Sully was dreaming about being with her, Michaela lay in bed with Wolf at her feet, taking stock of her life in order to be able to decide where to go from here. Mentally making a list, she put her accomplishments on the plus side: She had made her dream of becoming a doctor come true, and she loved to work at the hospital where she had a steady job. But that was already it.

Her private life, on the other hand, was a complete mess. She was pregnant from a man who didn't want a child and pushed her away in a time when people who cared for each other would reach out for each other. Obviously she had, once again, misjudged the relationship she led. When Sully had suggested to make his house theirs, she had assumed he wanted to share more with her than a building. He had, however, pointed out to her only a few days ago that they weren't married. Of course he was right, but she would have never thought that he needed a paper to feel the connection she thought they'd had. How could she have been so wrong – again? She should have learned from her engagement with David to never take anything for granted. But that was not the way she wanted to live. She wanted to trust her partner, feel safe. If she couldn't have that, she'd rather stay alone.

But now she had more to consider; there would be a baby. She knew, however, from her sister Marjorie's marriage, that it didn't do children any good when their parents only stuck together because of them. So what was she to do?

Taking in a deep breath, she turned on her side. As her gaze fell onto the medical bag that Sully had given her for Christmas, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She loved this man so much that it hurt, but she knew that love alone wasn't enough to build a life together. Although, she didn't have to worry about that for he didn't want to have her around anyway.

To her astonishment she realized, that that was actually fine with her now, and so she would eventually comply with his wish. She needed time to figure out what to do next. Only one thing was for sure: she wouldn't tell Sully about the baby yet. She didn't want to be with him only because he felt responsible for something that was the result of a decision she'd made. When she slept with him on their very first night she did it because at that moment, only being with him mattered to her. She had forgotten about such a thing like protection but simply allowed herself to let go of all her doubts and insecurities, and she didn't regret it. It had been a wonderful experience, and now she would have a baby. With this thought, she finally drifted off.

xxx

It was shortly after dawn when Michaela startled out of her sleep. She needed a second until she realized that not the alarm clock but a buzzing sound accompanied by Wolf's low growl had wakened her. Quietly groaning, she threw the cover back and put her feet onto the floor before she straightened. She instantly sank back though. The swift move had drained all blood from her head, or at least it felt that way. Sighing softly, she waited until she felt ready to get up again. As she at last rose, the bell from the gate that led to the street resumed its ringing.

"I'm coming," Michaela murmured, switching on the light in the hallway. Obviously the early, but even more important unannounced, visitor was able to see the shine in the upstairs window because the ringing stopped. Padding down the stairs, Michaela held tightly on to the banister, not trusting her balance yet. Yet once she reached the entrance, she knew she would have to deal with another problem really soon for she began to feel sick. Leaning against the wall next to the door, she pushed one button of the intercom system. "Yes?" she said, hoping there was only someone who wanted to ask for the way.

"It's Daniel," a male voice, distorted by the loudspeaker, informed her.

Yet Michaela was distracted. Considering which bathroom was closer, hers or Sully's, she replied somewhat absent-mindedly, "Daniel is in California."

She was about to push herself away from the wall and let go of the button, when she heard her name being called, "Michaela!" Surprised, she turned back. "It's really me," the visitor hastily explained so as to hold her attention, "Daniel, who watched The Nutcracker with ya last year!"

"Oh," Michaela breathed, knowing she didn't have much time anymore, the nausea overwhelming by now. She still managed to open the gate by pushing another button and let Wolf into the yard before she dashed towards Sully's bathroom.

Once her stomach was empty, although there hadn't been much to get out of it, she could think clearly again. Becoming aware that she was wearing close to nothing, she looked around for something she could cover herself with. As she eventually returned from the bathroom and entered the kitchen, she wore one of Sully's shirts she had found hanging on a peg. His scent still lingered in the fabric, reminding her of the carefree time they once had shared. Fortunately she didn't get the opportunity to dwell on the fact that it was gone now because a tall, blond-haired man stood in the middle of the room, scrutinizing her face.

"Ya alright?" he asked, not concealing his concern.

"I'm fine now," Michaela assured, searching for an excuse because Daniel had obviously heard her. "I shouldn't have eaten the shrimps with mayo last night."

She smiled up at him nervously, hoping he would let it go. Although Daniel didn't buy it fully, he dropped the topic, not wanting to embarrass her. "How 'bout I make us some coffee while ya get dressed?" he suggested instead.

Yet only thinking about her favorite drink made her feel sick again, and thus Michaela shook her head, "I guess some chamomile tea might be in order for me, but feel free to use the coffee maker for yourself."

When she descended the stairs fifteen minutes later, she finally felt ready to face the day, though wondering whether Daniel had heard her throwing up again, this time in her own bathroom. Strangely enough, her stomach was fine now, and she hoped that it would stay this way. Her smile was still insecure when she entered the kitchen, yet Daniel eased her mind by acting as if nothing unusual had occured.

"You gotta fill me in with everythin' that happened since we talked the last time on the phone," he said as he lifted his cup to take a sip.

Michaela nodded, "I will. But first you have to tell me how come that you are here so early. You said…"

"I know," Daniel chimed in, putting down his cup. "We were done with the main part of our project about the benefits of the use of geothermal energy in California. Once we finished the studies in the Geysers area, north of San Francisco, I excused myself with an urgent family affair. I have all the things I need for the analysis on my laptop," he pointed with his head to a black bag, occupying one of the kitchen chairs. "I came sooner than planned 'cause I gotta admit that I'm more than just a little worried. Sully still hasn't called me… Did he at least talk to Cloud Dancing by now?"

"No," Michaela sighed, running her fingertips over her brow. "He doesn't want to have me around either. Last night I gave in." Pleading for his understanding, she looked at Daniel as she explained, "I really tried to help him, but he refuses practically everything that could improve his condition. His only physical problem is the fracture of two of his spinous processes, which had been taken care of and will heal with time. His spinal cord is not affected, but he is still paralyzed, although the swelling that had caused it is long gone. I know he is depressed, but he doesn't want to hear about taking an antidepressant, claiming it is a matter of will. But you can't influence the chemistry of the brain with your will. And he needs to see a physiotherapist… I could go on this way."

Suddenly becoming aware of her outburst, Michaela blushed, "I'm sorry. It's just…"

As her voice trailed off, Daniel bent towards her, touching her upper arm reassuringly, "Hey, it's alright. I know him since we were ten, and I can tell he has a stubborn streak."

For a few moments, they sat in silence just taking a sip from their cups now and then. Yet suddenly Daniel furrowed his brow, "Does that mean he's all on his own? He'd reacted the same after Abby died. He wouldn't eat and sleep; he was a wreck after a few weeks. And now he's even injured…"

"Oh," Michaela put down her cup and continued after swallowing down the last bit of her tea, "don't worry. Charlotte and Catherine are still taking care of him. They seem to be the only ones whose presence doesn't bother him."

Daniel didn't have to ask for more information because Michaela interpreted his questioning gaze right. "Charlotte is the mother of the boy he saved and Catherine is an old friend."

Something in Michaela's tone told Daniel that there was more to be told about that 'old friend', yet he didn't inquire more. It was Sully who would have to give him some answers.

"Would ya mind showing me to him?" he requested, suddenly being impatient to get to Sully. "I wanna see my stubborn friend as soon as possible."

xxx

Sully had gotten up earlier than usual that morning. He knew that Michaela, although she didn't want to speak with him, would come to drop off Wolf before she went to work. Hoping he would be able to make her stay at least for a coffee, he wore a sweater she'd once given him so as to show her that he treasured everything that connected him to her. He was properly shaven and had even used his eau de Cologne, which he'd abandoned for quite a while. After sweeping the room with his eyes a last time, making sure everything was neat and tidy, he rolled in his wheelchair to the front windows so he could watch the street, waiting for the red Toyota to appear.

It wasn't the familiar car though that attracted his attention, but a tall, blonde woman hurrying in the direction of the building which contained his apartment. He instantly knew that it was wishful thinking when he hoped that Catherine, who carried a brown briefcase, would pass his house, especially since at this moment Michaela's car bent into the street. The mix of anger and desperation that flooded him sent his heart into a gallop, making his palms sweaty. Yet before he could turn towards his entrance in order to receive Catherine with giving her a piece of his mind about her having the nerve to show up here again, his eye was caught by another vehicle that followed the Toyota. In total bewilderment, Sully watched his Ford being pulled to halt at the curb. Not having the faintest idea who could be the driver, he waited for the stranger to appear instead of reacting to the doorbell's ringing.

Michaela couldn't remember when she had ever been so grateful for another person's presence as she was right now for Daniel's. Since Sully hadn't come out, she would have been forced to take Wolf inside, but for meeting the teacher she simply didn't feel strong enough today. Although she'd believed Sully that the two of them didn't have a relationship, there was still something about Catherine that made him accept having her around whilst she herself wasn't welcome.

However, thanks to Daniel she was able to avoid any confrontation. Opening the door to the backseat in order to let Wolf out, she turned to Sully's friend, requesting, "Would you mind bringing Wolf back to the house tonight?"

Daniel agreed, "Sure." He didn't need an explanation; he had seen the blonde vanishing inside of the building. It wasn't difficult to guess that this must be the 'old friend' Michaela had referred to earlier. If Sully was actually stupid enough to favor any other woman above the doctor, then his brain didn't work properly for sure. It was time that someone was talking turkey to Sully, and he was just the right man to do so.