Chapter 14

"Hi," Daniel said as the entrance to Sully's apartment was opened by the women he had seen entering the house before him. "I'm Daniel, Sully's friend from New York." Holding out his hand, he waited for her to reveal her identity.

Catherine didn't doubt his connection to Sully when she saw Wolf at the stranger's side. Shaking the offered hand she introduced herself, "I'm Catherine." Blushing under his scrutinizing gaze she gestured towards the living room, "Come on in."

Sully, sitting in his wheelchair, was impatiently leafing through a few documents that lay in a folder on the table before him. Silently fuming he skimmed the content, not even looking up when his best friend entered the room. All he had wanted to do this morning was talk to Michaela, but now he had to deal with a stupid accident report and the fact that Michaela had gotten another wrong impression.

"Ya got a pen or somethin' like that?" he asked, looking up at Catherine who had resumed her position next to him.

"Sure." She eagerly opened her briefcase so as to give him one. Although the anger in his eyes made her feel uncomfortable, she still searched for a way to stall for time, being fully aware of the fact that she had just used the last excuse to come over to him. Her hope for him having softened over night so she could apologize and explain herself seemed silly now, and thus she rather kept her suggestion to buy bagels for breakfast to herself. Like so many months ago she knew that all future attempts to win him back would be futile, and this time for good.

Daniel, leaning with his arms crossed before his chest against the frame of the bedroom door, had silently observed the interaction between Sully and Catherine, who, he acknowledged, was looking great.

"Well, well," he said, once the door had closed behind her after she left. "So she is the old friend Michaela mentioned? The only friend that is allowed to be around ya?"

Both, the sarcastic tone and the emphasized words weren't lost on Sully. He didn't have the time yet to digest the situation, and feeling frustrated he snapped, "That's none of your business!"

Daniel, however, wasn't discouraged in the least but continued, "That reminds me: I'd really like to know how ya define the word friend."

"What the hell are ya talking about?" Sully huffed, not really interested in an answer. He wanted to be alone; he needed to think. Michaela hadn't made one single step in the direction of his apartment; she'd climbed into her car without looking back and left. Yet he needed her to know that Catherine had only stopped by for him to sign those darn papers. Since Michaela was on her way to the hospital at the moment, she wouldn't take his call, and he feared she might never talk to him at all. With Daniel being here, this could easily happen for she didn't have to come back to take Wolf home. Daniel would do that.

This thought, however, reminded Sully that his friend was supposed to be in California. "What are ya doing here anyway?" he said in an accusing tone, glaring, "Did Michaela tell ya? She had no right…" His voice trailed off as Daniel loosened his crossed arms and strode towards him, gripping the armrests of the wheelchair.

Sully slid back on his seat as far as he could yet he wasn't able to escape Daniel's glower. Although Daniel was speaking in a low tone, his anger was palpable when he at last gave Sully a piece of his mind, "Well, maybe she and me have a different understanding of the word friend than you. Maybe she thinks, like I do, that friends should be there for each other, even the more so when one of them is in trouble. And maybe, but really just maybe, she thought I would still wanna know despite your order not to tell me." Daniel's eyes never left Sully's face as he straightened again, continuing, "And 'course she was right."

Squirming under his friend's intense gaze, Sully eventually looked away. He didn't respond though for if he was honest, he had to admit that deep down, he was glad to have Daniel here.

Daniel knew Sully long enough to not press further for it wouldn't help matters but rather do the contrary, and thus he simply waited. Bit by bit, the atmosphere in the room eased, and Wolf, who had sat tensed up next to the wheelchair till now, relaxed, strolling into the bedroom to lay down on the soft rug.

Exhaling sharply, Sully ran both his hands through his hair before he began to explain, "I knew that Cloud Dancing and you would come once ya learned what happened, but I didn't want for both of ya to lose your job. As far as Michaela is concerned… I know what too much stress can do to her. She gets really scarin' fever attacks, and apart from that, she shouldn't have to take care of me. It should be the other way around. I'm the man. It's my responsibility… What?"

Sully fell silent as his friend whispered, "Oh my."

Hearing all the arguments, Daniel finally understood. As long as he could think back, Sully had wanted a family - in the traditional, old-fashioned way where the husband was the provider. With Abigail he had met a woman who wanted this kind of life, too; she was used to people around her reading her every wish from her eyes. Sully had loved to do the same, because it had made him feel needed. When Abigail died, he had lost not only the woman he loved but the opportunity to feel useful as well.

Considering how to say what had to be said, Daniel scratched himself behind his ear.

"Michaela is not Abby, Sully," he eventually attempted to reason, "I thought you'd figured that out by... Oh darn," he suddenly stopped, taking a closer look at the apartment. "Is it that why ya don't wanna walk again? So ya can live at a place Abby would have liked? To be close to her again?"

"'Couse not; that's crazy!" Sully exclaimed. "I love Michaela; I even wanted to ask her to marry me that evenin'! We'd be engaged by now if the accident hadn't happened!"

Yet Daniel, although not a trained psychologist, was now able to name Sully's problem. Pulling a chair to him, he sat down, the back before him so he could rest his lower arms on it. Gazing at Sully he at last said, "Other people run from their decisions, and you just don't wanna approach them. That's why ya cling to that chair. That's why ya push Michaela away, and you know as much as I do that she's the best thing that ever happened to you. So, what do ya wanna do about that? I only hope it ain't too late."

"What do ya mean?" Sully asked, the blood draining from his face.

"Exactly what I said," Daniel replied, frowning worriedly. "I've seen the look in Michaela's eyes when she saw your friend entering the house. It might have been the last straw."

xxx

The first thing Michaela noticed as she returned home from work that afternoon was Sully's van standing in the yard, which meant Daniel was here. Yet as thankful as she was for his presence, she wasn't sure that she wanted to have his company right now. It had been another challenging day at the hospital, with one of her colleagues lying down with the flu and Dr. Stone being on vacation. Though no one really missed the latter for he was a constant pain, it still meant they had to take care of his patients in addition to their owns, which began to take its toll on her. Actually, she had looked forward to stretching out on her bed, trying to relax. She had even considered taking a nap. Sighing, she acknowledged that she might have to give up on this plan.

However, the steep wrinkle between her eyebrows vanished as she saw Wolf bursting through his dog door, running towards the garage. She knew he couldn't wait for her to get out of the car so he could properly welcome her, which included a lot of jumping, tail wagging, and in the end he would stand on his hind legs, place his front paws onto her shoulders and lick her face. No matter how exhausted she was, he always cheered her up, and he didn't disappoint her today either. Yet there was still something different. As the two of them were strolling towards the house, Michaela tried to figure out what it was until she at last realized that Wolf was a lot more exuberant than usually. Once she entered the house, she knew why: Sully sat in his wheelchair in the middle of the living room, waiting for her.

Totally caught off guard, she needed a moment before she was able to move again. At last closing the door after Wolf had run out so as to play with Daniel who waited for him in the yard, she still contemplated what to say when Sully took the initiative, asking quietly, "Can I talk to ya?"

There was an almost imperceptible pause before Michaela agreed, "Of course."

She took her time though to put her coat onto the peg next to the door because she hadn't regained her equilibrium yet. The unexpected sight of him in her room had sped up her pulse, and she was certain that the heightened color on her cheeks betrayed the effect he still had on her. Yet she had decided that not feelings would dictate her life anymore but reason again. Thus she needed to be composed when she listened to him, whatever it was he wanted her to know. As she eventually turned around, she felt prepared.

Sully's eyes never left Michaela's figure until she sat on the chair across from him, and he could tell that she was tensed up. So was he, but he knew without doubt that it would be a mistake to wait any longer. All through the day, he had arranged the words he wanted to say in his head for he knew if he said the wrong ones, he might not get another chance to explain himself.

Yet now that she silently waited for him to begin, he grew insecure. He'd expected to read either anger or resignation in her expression, but he saw an odd mix of vulnerability and determination instead. All the arguments he'd gathered were useless now, and they wouldn't have worked, as he suddenly realized, anyway. He had overstepped the line she had asked him to be careful about - from the moment on when he, despite her protest, held on to his decision that caring for him was too much for her.

Michaela sensed the change in Sully. When the hidden nervousness he initially radiated was turning into open anxiety, she couldn't help herself. Fearing the emotional stress was too much for him, she bent forward, touching his hand. "Are you alright?" she asked worriedly, searching for his eyes.

This gesture made Sully forget all his intentions about weighing his words before he said them out loud for she'd just shown that, in spite of all the things that had happened lately, she still loved him. Holding her gaze he grasped her hands, and his tone was urgent when he said, willing her to believe him, "I don't want ya to leave. I wanna be with you; I need to be with you. I will love you all my days."

Startled by the intensity of his words, Michaela breathed anxiously, "Sully…"

Yet he was on a roll now and posed, without thinking twice, the question that had been on his mind already weeks ago, "Will ya marry me?"

It took Michaela only a beat before she replied, "I can't."

"Why not?" Sully was puzzled, and for a short moment a picture of David appeared before his eyes. Was he back? Michaela's response set him straight though.

In a strangely calm voice she said, "You don't respect me."

"'Cause I do!" he instantly insisted, his temper rising with the feeling of being misjudged.

"No, you don't." Wriggling her hands out of his, Michaela leaned against the back of her chair, allowing her eyelids to droop for a minute. Sully proposing to her should be one of the most exciting moments in her life, but she didn't feel happy. She was only tired.

Eventually opening her eyes again, she saw that he tried to keep his emotion under control, waiting for her explanation. And so she gave it. "You never listened to me, no matter whether I talked as the woman who loves you or if I gave you my professional opinion."

Seeing that he wanted to counter again, she anticipated him, "I'll explain what I mean - and I won't go on about the question whether you have any idea how much it hurts when your help is rejected but those of others is welcome… Anyway, as a doctor, I told you that you would need physiotherapy. Have you called any number of the list of physiotherapists I gave you?"

When Sully didn't reply but averted his eyes, she nodded, "I thought so. Do you have an appointment with Dr. Lindsay by now?"

Again, she didn't gain a response, so she continued, "Just imagine it would be the other way around… Let's say, I wanted to carve something, and you'd advised me to take a certain kind of wood and a special knife - because you want to help me doing it right. But I wouldn't listen, although I know that you are the one with the experience. What would you think? That I have the right to make my own mistakes?"

When there was still no reaction from Sully, she resigned, "Maybe that was the wrong example, but that's how I feel: no matter what I suggested to you, you didn't listen which shows me that my opinion isn't important to you. That you don't respect me."

As she prepared herself to straighten to her feet, Sully finally spoke, "I guess I've made a lot mistakes lately."

Hearing his voice cracking with emotion, Michaela sank back onto her seat. Drawing hope from her willingness to listen to him, Sully took her hands in his as he had done earlier. Locking their eyes he put all the intensity he could muster in his gaze and words as he said, "We love each other. Please, don't throw that away."

Despite her will not to get carried away by her feelings, Michaela softened. Freeing one of her hands she reached out so as to tenderly run her fingertips from his temple down to his jaw. "Yes, we love each other," she agreed, "but for living together it takes much more, for it is a constant giving and taking. It doesn't work when one party keeps refusing the other one's offers. You have to be equal partners, and that's not what we are, Sully. We are only…"

At this moment her cell phone rang, distracting her from a deep sadness that suddenly threatened to overwhelm her.