This chapter is a little sadder than the other two and gets into Jacobs head!! This one is definately my favourite so far so please enjoy!!! READ AND REVIEW!!

unfortunately these beautiful characters of Twilight do not belong to me, all copyright given to fanfiction, Twilight and brilliant author Stephanie Meyer.

CHAPTER THREE: REALISATION

Jacob

I carried her tired, limp body inside, my mouth still burning, missing the feel of her soft lips moving against mine. As I walked, she avoided my eyes, looking forward, or just closing them when she had no other excuse. Her face betrayed no emotion; the only thing I could see was exhaustion. I opened the door of the front porch and slowly carried her up the stairs to her bedroom, laying her gently on top of the mattress, under the covers. I sat on the bed next to her, watching her fall deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. As I sat there, in her tiny dark room, I saw a single tear, glint from the faint light of the moon. It ran down her cheek and splashed onto the pillow. My heart sank ten thousand miles deep into my body, a weight sat on my shoulders making it hard for me to stand. The gravity of the entire world seemed to shift as I saw her small moment of misery, something she had been hiding from me all day. Her emotions had finally betrayed her entire day of mental solitude. I wandered what caused her so much sadness, if it was me, I would never know. Bella didn't talk about the way she feels like the average teenage girl and that was what I loved about her. She had so many beautiful qualities; it was hard to keep count.

I sat down next her bed, waiting for Charlie to get home and my queue to leave. Of course I wouldn't leave entirely. With that bloodsucker Victoria loose, I couldn't leave Bella unprotected. Today had been a very long day, yet worth it. I remembered mine and Bella's moment in the car, her lips pressed against mine, when she told me she loved me. I sighed deeply in contentment as I too slowly fell asleep.

Morning came quicker than I expected, the sun, shining for once, shone through the window waking me up abruptly. Bella was stirring, creaking the wooden springs as she stretched out on the bed. She sat up and yawned before turning her body toward me. She squealed in surprise and shock at the sight of me.

"Jacob?!" she screamed, she flinched at the sound of her loud, rough voice and toned it down to a whisper, "What? What are you still doing here? You were supposed to go home . . . and Charlie, did he see you here, oh my gosh, Charlie."

"Bella, Bella honey calm down. Don't worry; I can't hear anyone so I'm guessing Charlie is out. Come on, why don't we head down to La push and spend the day in the garage. You know, just you and me and a couple of sodas."

"What do you mean you can't hear anyone? Have you actually gone to see if he's down there or not?"

I sighed at her silliness. I pointed to my ears and smiled.

"Super creepy werewolf senses remember? Now are we going to La push or what?"

Her expression shifted, and she managed to smile.

"Yeah, La push sounds good."

Really? How could it? She'd been there nearly every day. I'd ruined her Spring Break.

We headed down stairs for some breakfast before leaving in Bella's truck.

Although I couldn't quite understand it, I couldn't get last night out of my mind. Not just the kissing slash making out part of it, which was by far the best, but when Bella was in bed and she was, well crying. Although it could have been anything, it kept banging on my skull screaming out emergency. I couldn't get her heartbroken expression away from my thoughts for even a second, to even be able to think straight.

Bella pulled up in front of the house and stepped out, with me closely behind.

"Hey Bells, do you mind if we go straight to the garage, I think Billy still has a few things to sort out and he might be leaving for the Clearwater's soon. I think he'd rather be left alone." And that was the case with Dad. When he was upset or grieving or just needed time to sought things out, he didn't want to cross paths with anyone.

"Oh, yeah, sure Jake. Whatever." She smiled happily at me, yet her smile didn't touch her eyes. Her big, warm, beautiful brown eyes were sad, guilty.

There was something very wrong here. Her distraught face crept its way back into my mind. We needed to talk, and soon. I lead the way to the garage with a mission, my mind focused on the task ahead.

Bella sat in the front seat of my Rabbit, watching me work on her recently wrecked motorcycle. When would she ever learn how to put the break on the bike? Her clumsiness made me smile. Silly Bella.

"May I be included in the joke?" She asked, her face beaming at my smile.

"Oh, it's nothing." Now was the time, I took a deep breath and began what I had been planning since the ride over. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I should have never kissed you back. I know how you feel about me and I never should have made you feel guilty into saying you love me. I'm just, so . . . sorry." I felt my face fall, my muscles weaken, and my guilt took over my body.

"Jake? Don't say that. I do love you, and I wanted to kiss you. I, ugh, it's so hard to explain, but you need to know." She took a deep breath, just like I had, as though preparing for something that she too had been planning for a while. "Jake, I need to move on; I can't keep living like this. He's – Edward is never coming back. As cheesy as this sounds; I will always have a place in my heart for him, but my future is with you. I love you Jake, I always will." A tear sparkled on her cheek and it brought back the memory from last night.

Bella, crying, grieving. Her face full of misery and longing. Her tear of sadness was a farewell. She couldn't have him so she would have to make do with me. She didn't love me like she did him. She didn't want me like she wanted him. She didn't long for me, she longed for HIM! That disgusting parasite, the bloodsucker. All she wanted was Edward, not me. My dreams of having her all to myself, holding her in my arms, claiming her mine, shattered in that instance of realisation. No matter how hard she tried, she would never love me fully. Every time we would kiss, every touch, she would sit there, and wander how it would have been if this moment had happened with Edward. Even when we were grey and old, I bet she would still wander, wander what her life would have been like, if only he hadn't left. The pain took over my limbs, controlled my mind and stabbed into my heart. I couldn't even find the strength to phase. My hands didn't shake; the hair on my neck didn't rise in hatred of thing that possessed her mind, her heart, her body. I was trapped in this body, the body that felt pain that loved. I dropped to the floor, beside the Rabbit and waited. Waited for who knows what, but I waited. Her arms tangled around me. I felt her try to shake me, make me focus on her but I couldn't. I just . . . couldn't.

That bloodsucker had ruined her. He ruined her the very first day they met and shattered her the very first day he left.