Alright so not much happened in this chapter because its all about leading up to the next. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.

disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters or Twilight itself!!

DECIDED

My room was pitch black, my weak eyes couldn't see anything around me. I sat up in my bed, remembering the very out of control hallucination I had, had. I needed to stop; these things were getting way out of hand. Edward wasn't coming back; he didn't love me like I had once thought he had. I was just a weak, miserable human who could have been disposed of within a matter of seconds. Yet somehow, that beautiful creature didn't hurt me, not physically anyway. He just simply left me. I wandered if I was grateful for the fact that he kept me alive. Physically anyway . . .

My eyes had begun adjusting to the darkness around me. I searched my room, somehow feeling someone's eyes on me. My face flushed hot, my palms were sweaty. I could feel a presence; hear their loud, angry breath. She had come. She was finally here. Had I awoken just in time to feel the pain, oh so excruciating pain she was about to deliver? She was here. Victoria was finally here. My eyes were wide, straining to see my surroundings. Suddenly, I stopped searching when I found a dark figure sitting in my old rocking chair. The figure was not slight, but thick and masculine. It was not Victoria, but Jacob.

"Jake? Jacob! What the hell are you doing in my room?! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I whispered angrily. If it was not for the surrounding darkness, or the fact that it was the middle of the night, I would have been screaming my head off.

The figure just sat there, unmoving and unwilling.

"Jake?" I panted angrily. What was his problem? I had every right in the world to be mad at him! Why the hell was he sitting in my room, watching me sleep? "I'm waiting." I added theatrically. Yet still he said nothing. I finally caught on to his furious mood. I watched as his body shook, tremors of heat rolling off of him. His nostrils flared and his eyes were wide.

"He was here." He finally whispered. "He was here and you knew it."

What? Who was here? Victoria? But then he would have exclaimed she, unless he was going through some moment of pure, bitter insanity.

"Jake?" I whispered, too confused for anything else. "What?"

"Edward. Your bloodsucking leech! He was here! I saw him, I was running patrols and he didn't even see me, smell me. But I smelled him. I watched as he climbed your window, as you let him in. How could you Bella?" His shaking had stopped completely. He rested his head in his big mammoth hands and sighed. A sigh full of pain and understanding. My Jacob, he was in pain. All because of me. His words suddenly seemed to hit me like a canon. My breath exploded from my mouth and my heart shattered into a hundred pieces in this moment of obvious realisation. He was here! Edward Cullen had been in my room, begging me to take him back, yet I fought against him, thinking he was a mere hallucination.

"He was here?" I asked like an idiot.

"Don't fake it Bella. Don't pretend like you didn't know. I'm not stupid. I saw it for myself."

"But Jake, I didn't know. Well, I did but not really."

"You did but not really? I might become an animal, Bells, but I don't think like one. I know what I saw." His eyes pleaded with himself, wishing otherwise. His face was ancient with the pain he felt. "What you said to me the other night, that you loved me, that you wanted me, that you belonged with me, it was all a lie. If he had shown up a minute after you spoke, you would have forgotten everything you had just confessed to me and run off with a leech!" His hands began to shake for the second time; a tear sparkled in his eye at his own words.

"Please Jake stop, you don't know what you're talking about." Yet he was right. I would have run back to him, I would have left Jacob if only I could have had another chance with Edward. I was a monster. It was I who should be feared amongst all because I was pure evil. Whoever got too close to me would feel pain. I bowed my head in shame. The guilt I felt was made present by becoming an overloaded burden on my back.

"Well then explain it to me Bella. Tell me what I don't know. Why don't you explain it to me?"

"Jake." I whispered. His face was as hard as stone. His eyes were cold and unforgiving. This Jacob scared me. I pushed myself off the bed and stood as far from him as I could.

"Tell me Bella!" He almost screamed in his haste.

"Ok, ok just calm down. It's ok Jake, I'll tell you." His entire body shook, as well as the rocking chair beneath him. I spoke fast, trying to get the words out quick enough. This was it. I would tell him everything. Even if it was Edward who was here last night, even if he had begged me to take him back, if it ever happened again, I would never leave him. My life was with Jacob now. I had promised myself, given myself to him. And no matter how unhappy this decision made me, I would live up to it. "I thought it was a dream. I dream about him all the time, think about him, I-I hear him. I can't take it anymore Jake, I just can't." I took a steadying breath, watching him closely as I did this. His body seemed to tighten somewhat, making the shaking impossible. His muscles over his bare neck and chest were tense, almost to the point of explosion. He needed to calm down. I chose my words carefully; making sure none of them would set him off. "I-I just want you to know that, if he ever came back for me, I will never go back with him." My words had done the trick. His body turned to mush and I knew he was safe to approach. I walked over to him slowly and kneeled down next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

I was decided.