Disclaimer: This fic is mine. The characters belong to clamp. Moving on with our lives....XD...
Chapter 1 - by L.A
aka Sakuchan5
"How long is she going to sleep?" whined someone.
"You never know with the recently departed. It could take anywhere between an hour and a month. Depends on how traumatic the death is."
Sakura's eyelids twitched. She could hear voices but was finding it hard to open her eyes. 'I can't get up. Wow I'm so tired. And this bed is soo SOFT. Maybe I WONT get up. Ah sleep seems so comforting right now. Hehe'
"Ahhhh BUT I'm HUNGRY!! And we have to take care of another gaki tomorrow. I hate being your sidekick. Why can't I go back to heaven?" complained whiny-voice.
'Heaven? What a weird question…'
" Can it Kero! I've got work to do and besides this is punishment for eating Adam and Eve's flowers. You've got another 100 years before the big guy will even CONSIDER letting you back into doggy heaven."
"IM NOT A DOG!! I'm a DRAGON!!" whiny voice yelled.
'Ahhhh too loud. Can't sleep. Need SLEEP. Shut UP weird people!'
"Well you look like a stuffed animal to me so I'm sorry to say I don't find a resemblance. Remind me to get you the dictionary of humane creatures for Christmas."
"ha ha... wise guy, just because I'm in the body of a stuffed animal doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. Remind me to do that when I get my true form back."
"You mean IF you get your true form back....mutt."
"That's IT YOU ARE SO DEAD!!
Sakura heard the scrape of a chair as if it had toppled over and the shattering of glass.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Sakura Kinomoto shot up from her slumber SCREAMING only to find that she wasn't the ONLY one screaming. Cold sweat beaded her forehead and she gave an involuntary shudder when she turned to find her stalker hollering, across the room.
In fact upon closer inspection she found a stuffed animal gnawing at her stalker's eyes as he futilely tried to deflect its blows.
Sakura's eyes widened and she heard a shrill shriek.
It was her own.
The stalker and the flying stuffed animal froze mid fight and looked over at her.
'Shit. You've attracted their attention. NICE going Sakura.' She scolded herself internally.
As she flung her feet over the bed getting ready to run she sneaked a glance back at her stalker only to see him streaking towards her, a pleading look in his eyes, as if begging her not to leave.
"EEEeeeekk" Sakura squealed as she jumped off the bed only to find no footing. 'WTF...'
That's when she looked down and realized she was falling through thin air.
"IM going TO DIE!! I'm GOING TO DIE!! IM GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WAHHHHHH!!" Sakura wailed and clenched her eyes shut as the air rushed past her and she skyrocketed towards the ground below.
Suddenly she was swept up into the air by a strong pair of cloaked arms. She opened her eyes to find her gothic stalker carrying her up towards a palace in the middle of a large expanse of sky; she had undoubtedly just jumped off the edge of. She snuggled into him and held on for dear life. 'This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream' she repeated to herself like a mantra.
"You can let go now" her stalker chuckled as he loosened her hold around his neck. Sakura looked up to find his face just inches from hers. She yelped and jumped away from him a slight blush coloring her cheeks.
"GEEZ" he sighed, "Women are such high maintenance".
Sakura felt her blush deepen, but this time from anger. "What the hell is going on? Where am I?"
The yellow stuffed animal flew up to her and extended a hand. "keroberous is the name. Ex-guardian of the gates of heaven, now this kid's sidekick. But you can call me Kero for short."
Sakura inched away from him remembering his outrageous display of violence earlier.
"He won't bite Saku-tan. Chillax your safe now." said her stalker.
Kero laughed. "By the way this is Syaoran" he pointed to Mr. Hottie.
"I asked you what's going on." Sakura spit through clenched teeth. The horrifyingly embarrassing name he'd just called her only made her angrier. She didn't want anyone calling her that EVER again. Least of all this stranger. "Why have you been stalking me??"
"All in good time my lady." He gave her a little bow, "But first I'm sure you're hungry. How about some grub to fill that grumbling tummy of yours."
As if on cue Sakura's stomach grumbled. She blushed crimson.
"MAN it's been grumbling for the past 3 hours, only made ME HUNGRIER" muttered Kero under his breath. "I'll be right back, this babe magnet has got to grab his leather jacket." He boasted before flying into another room.
Sakura gawked after him, her mouth open.
"Okay I feel sorry for you and we don't want you having a panic attack or something so I'll fill you in. Or at least we don't want you dying twice because that would involve a lot of paperwork. Especially for me…" he trailed off muttering to himself darkly about Kero's negligence.
A look of horror crossed Sakura's face, "What do you MEAN twice? Who says I'm dead!? This is about you! You've clearly KIDNAPPED me!"
"I do. I'm the ghost of death. It's my job to collect the souls of those that are about to drop dead. There are actually a lot of us. I take care of Japan."
"OH. MY. GOD." Sakura gasped sudden comprehension dawning over her features.
"Look I know it's a lot to take in but it's true, in fact…" he didn't get to finish his rant because Sakura threw a vase at him.
"HEY..watch it!...OW" She threw another, it nearly missed his head.
"I KNEW YOU WERE A PSYCHOTIC SERIAL KILLER!!" she shrieked, "CHICKENS!!" she cussed as she picked up a coffee table and swung it at him. (Saku is super strong when she's pissed. Don't mess with her people..XD).
"I've got to get out of hereeeeeeee" she tittered as she ran around the room looking for an escape route and away from her stalker…er Syaoran as he chased her down, BLOOD on his mind.
'OH GOSH he's gonna KILL ME… AGAIN WAHH' Sakura thought as she jumped over the bed, only he caught her arm and pulled her back. Straddling her across her waist he pinned her arms down and bent down until he was level with her ear.
"Shut up and listen. You're not getting up until I'm done speaking" His hot breath tickled her ear and raised goose bumps across her arms. She was blushing scarlet. She could feel it. She nodded silently, not trusting her own voice and deathly scared that if she put up a fight this psychotic killer would do her in.
"Like I said I collect souls and send them off to heaven or hell. You died after you umm choked on a jelly bean."
Sakura sucked in a breath.
"A JELLY BEAN!?" she exclaimed incredulous.
But now that she thought about it, it made sense. She remembered the searing pain in her throat and one of the twins yelling "You mean MUTANT jelly beans ha ha"…and that's when the reality of it hit her. The beautiful palace in the middle of the sky, the cloaked stalker that no one else could see, the pain, and the inevitable realization that SHE Sakura Kinomoto was indeed DEAD.
"But but but..." Sakura stuttered as angry tears welled up in her eyes, "I can't be dead. This was my senior year. What about my friends? What about my Dad? IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!" she shook under Syaoran's weight.
"Well some people get hit by a bus, some die of cancer, and others umm" he tried to hold in laughter "..choke on pfft a jelly bean pfft".
"You think this is funny??" sakura bit out. "Get OFF OF ME!" she hollered but he only sat there staring at her as if he had just found a new toy to play with.
"I haven't even had my first kiss!! HOW can I be dead? This isn't FAIR!" she tried unsuccessfully to push him off of her.
"Well we can definitely fix THAT right now" he smirked as he bent down as if to kiss her, but instead bit her on the tip of her ear.
Sakura yelped, beet red and flipped Syaoran over with all of her might. She had intended merely to push him off of her but now she sat straddling him, fuming.
"WHAT are you DOING?" came a surprised voice from above them.
They looked up to see Kero dressed like a biker all in leather hovering over them.
Syaoran pushed Sakura off of him.
"This ones a PERVERT." He stated matter-of-factly. "She tried to take advantage of me as soon as she realized she really was dead. Apparently she's never been kissed. You know how it is Kero, supressed sexual tension in teenagers and all...." he trailed off.
"You LIAR. You're the pervert!!" Sakura yelled at him growing redder if that was even possible.
"Can't blame her though can you? Im irresistable after all..." he looked over at a fuming Sakura and smirked winking at her before leaving the room to grab his jacket.
"Never can tell with the cute ones eh?" Kero muttered to himself edging away from Sakura.
"ARAAAGHHHHARRHHHH CHICKENS!!" Sakura shrieked in frustration.
She didn't know what was worse, her being dead or being hit on and being made out to be a pervert. One thing was for sure though. SHE was DEAD. OH so DEAD.
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Syaoran walked back out and handed both Sakura and Kero unopened pop cans.
"Okay go ahead and take a sip, then say Moonlight Inn".
Within seconds they were transported outside a creepy mansion just like the ones you see in cheesy horror flicks.
"WOW talk about original. Is this where the ghost of death tortures poor souls?" Sakura asked pointedly.
"Well you'll have to come in to find out won't you?" Syaoran gave her a sadistic smirk, that raised goose bumps on her arms and reminded her of earlier. He turned away satisfied and and strode up the path.
Sakura took one look at the woods around the enormous front gate and then rushed in after him. She hated the dark.
Once inside she was surprised to find a huge dancefloor full of people of all ages. A shimmering disco ball hung in the middle of the dance floor casting all shades of light across the grinding bodies.
When she looked ahead Syaoran was seated at a bar talking to a woman who looked like a model. Then he kissed her and waved at another woman practically racing across the dance floor to reach him.
'Huh.' Sakura thought bitterly, 'So he's a playboy AND a pervert. GREAT.' Syaoran looked up suddenly as if having heard her thoughts. He smirked and motioned for her to come over.
"Order some food. Eat. And then we'll talk about where you're headed and how you're gonna get there." he said passing her a menu.
"Look I can't just die. There has to be some way I can go back. Im too young to die!" Sakura blubbered anxiously wringing her hands. Syaoran didn't reply.
Sakura glared at him before ordering a burger and coke with large fries. She felt like she could devour a whole cow. THAT'S how hungry she was.
"Shouldn't you be eating a salad or something Saku-tan? I mean it wouldn't kill to get rid of some of that body fat right? Unless you're trying to up your size, then I guess I can't blame you." he smirked at her, his eyes twinkling.
"I'll eat whatever I want thank you," Sakura replied through clenched teeth "and what do you mean up your size?"
"Hey I was just wondering if you were trying to upsize to a b-cup. I mean that a-cup couldn't have gotten the attention of too many guys when you were alive right?".
Sakura punched him in the arm "How" PUNCH "Do" PUNCH "YOU KNOW" PUNCH "MY BRA SIZE!?" PUNCH.
"Hey I do my research. Give me some credit here," He laughed before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. "You're cute when you're embarrassed you know." he whispered huskily leaning into her. His chestnut locks tickled her forehead. "What would you be willing to do to be alive again?"
There was a double edge to his question. Like he was challenging her. "Anything" she replied breathlessly.
He leaned down, his lips inches from hers but not giving in. Almost teasing her to come to HIM.
Anger bubbled inside her. But before she could so much as break away from the hypnotic trance of his gaze she heard an earth shattering crash of china....
... and a VERY VERY familiar voice yell "OI GAKI!"
SHIT.
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DUN DUN DUN TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF
I'M HALF DEAD AND IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHO! HA!
r and r guysssssssssss... I wanna know if you liked this chappie. And if you did tell me if it was entertaining and I'll write another one. It's all planned out. Should be a good fic. But im not sure if this chappie was entertaining enough so let me know k?
BYE L.A.
