Chapter 2: Darkness

Day 1

River

It was dark and quiet inside the little cubby hideaway. The only things River could sense, besides Kaylee's great pain and anguish, were the other girl's soft sniffling noises and the faint waffle pattern of light shining into the very edge of the smuggling space. River blinked her eyes a few times, trying to figure out if maybe she could see more if she only focused, then gave up and focused on the warm body beside her own. She could practically feel Kaylee shying away from her.

"Kaylee?"

"Yeah, River?" came the soft, wavering response. Kaylee had the voice which River imagined a kicked puppy might have.

"He hurt you, Kaylee." There was a burst, a sob almost, from the other girl and River waited to see if it would continue. When Kaylee then remained relatively silent, River went on. "I can feel that he hurt you, Kaylee. He touched you in places you were saving for someone else, he beat those places. He ripped them."

"River, stop," Kaylee began sobbing as she begged. A pang of guilt rushed through River. She'd gone too far already. "Please, stop! You know what he did to me, so just shush and don't say it out loud. Please?"

River was still, her breath coming in short, shallow panting. She was almost overwhelmed by the hurt in Kaylee and by the fact that she was overwhelmed at all. She shouldn't be feeling this along with Kaylee; this was the mechanic's hurt, not hers. Instead of protesting or saying anything along the lines that she was thinking, River let Kaylee cry for a minute or two before reaching out and pulling the mechanic close to her.

Instantly, Kaylee began to thrash and struggle to get free of River's hug. All of a sudden the thoughts and feelings that River was picking up from Kaylee had become such a jumble that River began to cry out in anguish as well, tightening her grip on Kaylee. Unfortunately, the two continued to cycle downwards until Kaylee broke into speech.

"River, no! Don't touch me!" Kaylee whimpered, tearing running freely down the mechanic's cheeks. "Get off!"

"I'm scared!" River shot back. "I can't… you're making it too crowded to think!"

There was silence again. River continued to cling desperately to Kaylee, who was struggling hard to understand what River meant and getting nowhere. Finally, Kaylee spoke.

"Can't you see how filthy I am?" she asked simply. "Why would you want to hold onto me when I'm this disgusting?"

"But, I couldn't tell in the dark," River protested softly.

Kaylee went limp and stopped fighting against River. The younger of the two was relieved when the mass confusion left her head, but perturbed when a deep sadness sunk in instead. Before too long, the top of the girl's dress was soaked with tears and mucus. Kaylee's entire body was heaving with the effort of sobbing out the pain and anguish of the past few hours. River held on tight, not sure what else she ought to be doing. She had always tried to hold the younger children at the school (well, whenever they were allowed to interact with other children) to soothe their tears and calm their fears. She was never so good at calming her own and the fears and anguish that were practically running through Kaylee's very bloodstream were more like hers than the other children's ever were. She held Kaylee closer. There was nothing else that she could do.

Once the crying had subsided into soft whimpers and sniffles, River began to stroke the back of Kaylee's head, like her mother would do for her whenever she was tired or frightened, and sing her an ancient lullaby.

"Good night my angel time to close you eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Where ever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Good night my angel now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child will cry and if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die that's how you and I will be"

The two girls rested in silence for a very long moment. River was almost overcome with tears herself. She wanted nothing more than to be at home with her family right now. Daddy, Mother, Simon, and little River. Everyone would take turns singing little River to sleep with her favorite lullaby, but she always liked it best when Mother sang to her. Her mother had a gentle, serene voice, which carried over into her singing and made the song ever more haunting and, yet, something that was deeply connective between the two female members of the Tam family.

River wiped away a tear as Kaylee cleared her throat.

"That was real pretty," she told River softly. River nodded.

"I know. My father used to sing it to me all the time when I was a little girl," she said, her heart aching too much to admit that it was really her mother who sang it to her the most. "Simon, too. I bet he still knows all the lyrics."

"I just didn't know that you could sing," Kaylee added. There was another short silence. "You do sing mighty pretty River. Like a bird or something beautiful."

"Thanks, Kaylee," River said quietly, stroking Kaylee's thick hair.

The sound of footsteps approached the smuggling space and Kaylee tried desperately to pull away. River held on and was once more flooded with a cacophony of clanging emotions. "Don't be afraid, Kaylee. Early's gone. It's Mal."

"I don't want anyone seeing me like this," she moaned softly. She began to cry again. "What will they think of me when they see what I let Early do to me?"

River kissed her forehead and said nothing. There was really nothing she could think to say to her best friend.

Kaylee

Kaylee squinted at the bright light when the paneling to the smuggling space was suddenly moved aside. It burned at her eyes and brought fresh tears to the surface, which she let fall in huge, fat drops onto the metal floor. Her body was trembling from all of the stress it had endured during the past few hours and she was struggling to make it stay still. It wasn't working.

She swallowed and pressed herself against River, wishing she could melt seamlessly into her friend. She wanted nothing more than to not be looking the captain in the eyes right now.

"Kaylee," he said softly. "River, you found her."

"It was better to stay," River replied serenely. Kaylee watched as Mal nodded. Down, Up then Down again. River's awkward speech made sense this time. Mal knelt down on his knees and looked levelly at her.

"Kaylee, are you bad hurt?" he asked, his voice the tender that he reserved for when a crew member was hurt or suffering in some way. His bark was definitely child's play compared to his bite, but in times like this, his bark was more of a whimper or moan to see his loved ones hurt.

"Yeah, cap'in, I think so," she whispered. Kaylee then noticed that Jayne was also with them, sitting down on a crate, his mouth set in a straight, no-nonsense line.

"Come on out, River," Mal said softly, extending his hand to her. "We can get Kaylee out of there a lot easier that way."

"No, don't leave me," Kaylee suddenly protested as River began to climb to her hands and knees. "Please, River!"

"She ain't leavin' you," Jayne called gently. "She'll be right out here, waiting for you."

Kaylee was too weak to hold onto River's wrist as she crawled out of the space and towards Mal. The captain helped the girl to her feet, steadying her after her time spent in the small, tight, dark place. Before Kaylee knew it, Jayne was on his hands and knees and scooping her up from under her knees and back. He slowly backed out, trying his best not to jostle Kaylee then climbed to his feet. Kaylee became intensely aware that the three other people could see her, covered with her own blood. She moaned.

"Please cover me up?" she asked quietly.
It was as though the men had come prepared for this. Mal dropped a scratchy, blue blanket over Kaylee, and Jayne's arms. Kaylee wanted to protest and ask to change clothes, but she knew they wouldn't let her. Apparently help came before embarrassment. She had never though of it before, but the humiliation rape victims feel was bad enough to want to make her skip getting looked over at all, even she was still bleeding from the place where that man had pushed himself inside of her over and over again.

"Up to the infirmary," Mal commanded, taking River's elbow and escorting her quickly up the stairs. Jayne followed, at a slower pace. Kaylee hid her face against Jayne's muscular chest, pulling the blanket up around her face, and prayed that nobody else would see them, even though she knew that was a pointless prayer. She began to weep again, surprising herself at how many tears one person could produce.

Kaylee could hear the rest of the crew chattering as they reached the infirmary and heard them all stop as they drew near.

They're all starin' at me, she thought in a panicked misery.

"Get her inside," Mal ordered.

"Kaylee!"

Kaylee looked up at Simon's voice. He was white as a sheet and having a bullet pulled from his leg by Zoe. Kaylee opened her mouth to say something, but it died in her throat.

"Thank God you're all right," he said, looking her over and not sounding like he believed what he was saying. Simon winced then gestured to the second table. "Put her up there for now, Jayne. When we're done, I'll work on her."

Jayne set Kaylee down on the second table and before she knew it, Book was spreading a thick, soft blanket over her and lifting her head to put a plush pillow under it. Jayne quickly stood in front of the shepherd.

"I'll be taking care of Kaylee," he said tightly.

And so he sat while Simon directed Zoe through removing the bullet from his leg. Any time one of the others offered to take up his vigil, Jayne merely growled that he was doing this for the entirety. It reminded Kaylee of the pet dog her father once owned who had been fiercely loyal and protective of the family and would always snarl if someone else tried to get to close.

Now, Jayne was her guard dog, in a manner of terms, of course.

* song- Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) by Billy Joel