I don't know what he's after
He's so
beautiful;
He's such a beautiful disaster
Twelve. Hermione
Shock, anger and fear sieged through me as I realised what I was seeing. I concluded straight away that he was either there to kill me or to beg for forgiveness. But whatever it was I understood that everything we had been through over the last couple of months was just a plan to help himself, no matter what he had just said. Draco Malfoy thought of no one but himself.
I had just seconds to act and reached for my wand but was too late. I looked up to find his wand pointing at my heart, which pounded painfully. So he was going to kill me? I looked into his eyes. His icy blue eyes? I was sure that was what they were like last time I saw them. Yet now they seemed a shocking silver colour and as I watched them I saw tears trickle down his cheeks. To my surprise he lowered his wand and slid down the wall to the floor, his head held in his hands
I watched him for a few minutes, my head tilted to the side. His shiny blonde hair fell over his face and his body shook uncontrollably, yet there was no noise. He had changed since I last saw him, he almost looked like a different person. The boy I once knew I barely recognised, he had become a man but he sat there curled up like a frightened child. His face had become drawn and thin yet his physic had become broader and although he wore a cloak, I could tell he was muscular. He no longer wore the arrogant smirk that was his trade mark, but deep set eyes and a sad frown.
Clearly feeling me watching him, he looked up. Guilt ran down my body and made me shiver from the hollow, sad look in his eyes, but within seconds the emotion changed. Anger raged through me and constricted my body, making me shake.
"I'm sorry," he said. I flinched. My face contorted with the same disgusted look he had given me since our first year.
"You coward," I managed to whisper.
Eleven. Draco
Look at her, she'll see in your eyes that you've changed…
I stood there, my wand pointed at her heart to make sure that she didn't kill me as soon as she found out. I tried to look at her but the sadness in her eyes broke me down completely. I cried, I crumpled and showed I was weak.
"I'm sorry" I said. She flinched, and my heart broke. A look of disgust came over her face and I died inside. She hated me, and there was no turning back now.
"You coward," she whispered. I had expected a reaction of some sort but that wasn't it. I just looked at her, pleading with her with my eyes to realise I was the same person shes been writing to, talking to, for all these weeks.
And then she broke down too. Tears poured from her eyes and as I got up she ran at me. Completely forgetting about her magic, she pounded with all her heart at my chest. To see her so hurt was the worse punishment I could have received, I stopped breathing willing for her to stop crying. I shut my eyes, hoping that when I opened them this would all be a dream and I could start over again. But it wasn't.
She pounded until she could go on no longer and she just leaned on me, sobbing into my cloak. I ran my hand through her hair and for a second I thought everything would be alright. I put my hand to her cheek and she threw herself away from me, huddled into the wall.
"Stay away from me," was all she managed to say through her tears.
He's
magic and myth
as strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More
damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
so
hard not to blame him
Thirteen. Hermione
I broke down, pounded at his chest until my heart would let me no more. I sobbed into his cloak as I filled with anger towards him, and towards myself for not seeing it. His hand ran through my hair and for a second I felt that security I had when I was around him, before I knew who he was. Then his hand touched my face and ice coldness ran through my body.
"Stay away from me." Was all I could say as my swollen throat tightened even more. He started to walk towards me but i wouldn't let him touch me, not with those murdering hands. "GET AWAY!" I screamed. "YOU FILTHY MURDERER!"
"You think im a murderer?" he whispered more to himself than me. "I've never murdered anyone and I never would. And I certainly," he stepped towards me "could never hurt you."
I laughed, I laughed hard in his face. I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me. "You've never murdered anyone? Then whats this?" I lifted up the sleeve of his left arm and pointed to the ugly image that was the dark mark. Even though I knew it must have been there I had still been shocked when I saw it. My quick intake of breath showed this and he lifted my chin to look into his eyes.
"You didn't expect that?" he asked. I shook my head. "But im Draco Malfoy."
"Oh come on don't get so full of yourself. Yes I know, Draco Malfoy, Prince of Slytherin, and Pureblood genious. How dare a mudblood like me not expect something of you, you can do anything.
I get this you know, it's all a plan. You're going to kill me right?" With this he opened his mouth. "Don't explain. I know what your up to, kill someone close to "the-boy-who-lived" right? Try and weaken him before the final war. Oh but that's right, you can't kill me can you. You didn't even have the decency to kill Dumledore yourself. The greatest wizard of our time. You plan his whole murder and then you chicken out at the last minute and leave it to that dis-loyal prick. Your weak Draco, you maybe a Malfoy but I bet you're a shame to the name. You're a coward. How did your father react when he found out? Sent some of his death eater friends around I suppose. Aww did they hurt you? Well tough shit! Deal with it. It's what you need to expect becoming a death eater.
So you've either come here to kill me and prove you can do it, or you're here to beg for forgivness. Now you've realised its not the way for you because your weak and a coward Malfoy and you don't deserve to live.
And what a sleazy way to do it. I knew you hated me malfoy but you just had to hurt me along the way didn't you. Had to make me fall in love with you, or "Damon" I should say." And so I broke down again. Slow sad tears trickled down my face and I decided Malfoy could speak, I might as well hear the crap he had to say before I possibly die.
I looked up to find him staring at me, streams of tears down his face to. I was confused but my head was filled with too many things to think right now.
"I didn't mean it like that." He said suddenly, startling me slightly. "When I said im Draco Malfoy; I meant that being who I am surely meant that you thought the worst about me, and out of anyone in Hogwarts you would be one of the people who strongly thought a deatheater of me. Why were you so shocked to see the mark, you knew I planned the murder of Dumbledore?"
I took a deep breath. "Malfoy, I knew for a fact that you were a deatheater, in my heart. But it didn't mean that I wanted it to be true. I knew deep down there was some good in you and I was determined to get it out of you. You know I saw you once, some boys knocked books out of Luna Lovegoods hands, and you helped her pick them up. I understood that you were trying to make your dad proud and when he got sent to Azkaban, I knew then that you realised." I stopped, this would show how much interest I paid in him when we were the deepest of enemies. But I realised that this wasn't a stupid school argument, this was real life and embarrassing or not, I had said enough and had to carry on. "That you realised, you don't want to be anything like your father."
He
drowns in his dreams
an exquisite extreme I know
Twelve. Draco
She understood…
She knew what I was going through; how I didn't know, but all that mattered was that she understood. I could find no words to express what I was feeling but just looked into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which were stained with tears. She stared straight back at me and I felt shivers up my spine. I refused to look away.
Suddenly she looked at her feet as tears, once again, filled her eyes. Sadness swallowed me up to see her so upset and as I stepped towards her I saw her body stiffen, I stopped in my tracks.
She raised her head to look at me. "See, I get you Malfoy." She whispered. "I decided that one day I would take it upon myself to get you on the right side. I know you hate me, but I was also sure that you would listen to anyone that could understand." She paused and wiped tears from her cheeks, I wondered what was making her so upset. "You came to a fork in the middle of a long path which has lead you here, and like every path, there were obstacles. So now you're on the run, you see you can't be that much of a coward I suppose because you turned your back on all you have ever known, right?" I was shocked at how much she understood. "And like everyone you want a way out. I've concluded that your not going to kill me Malfoy, because im sure if not you, someone, would have done it by now. Which means you want the help of the order. But can I ask you one question? And don't lie because you want to hurt me, promise me you'll tell the truth."
"Of course." I said.
"Using me..." She paused and took a deep breath. "Using me to get the help that you need was obviously your idea. Was me falling in love with this person I thought you were part of the plan, or just a bonus?"
"It was a bonus." I said before I had time to think about what it must have sounded like. I mentally slapped myself and shut my eyes, hoping to swallow up my words. I opened my eyes to find her looking at the floor again, she didn't understand what I meant.
"Right" she said. "I'll do all I can for you Malfoy because I want you on our side, you'll be good help. Expect someone to come for you very soon." With that she turned on her heels, but I refused to let her leave without an explanation. I lept forward and grabbed her by the hand, spinning her around so that she had to look at me.
"I didn't mean that," I said regretfully.
"Please." I was shocked to hear the plead in her voice and as if she were truly begging me she continued. "Please Malfoy, leave me alone. Don't you think you've put me through enough?"
"I mean't it was a bonus that I had gotten your love." I looked at her face which was covered in confusion. "Look, im not going to lie to you Hermione. I can't say that I have always loved you and that ive always hidden it because that's not the case. I was brought up to think that I was better than everyone else and that muggles and anyone that wasn't pureblood were beneath me. Its all ive ever known. It a big reason why I hated Dumbledore, because he was such a muggle lover, and he didn't't hide the fact that he hated me to. Yes he hated me Hermione." I said to her disapproving gasp. "He always knew where his destiny would end and he knew in some way it would be with me. But he never tried to stop me, I admired him for that. He watched as I grew and started to form my own opinions. I knew that, like you, he saw how I some times acted towards other people such as Luna, when not infront of people. And he let me grow, hoping I would go in the right direction. Which obviously I never.
Do you want to know what you have helped me learn?" I asked, and continued after her small nod. "I realised that I am not better than people because im a pure blood. Hermione I have watched you in envy as you beat me at everything. If anything, I am beneath you. I would never deserve the love of you… But it's what I want." I looked deep into her eyes hoping that she did not think all this was a trick. "I love you Hermione, over these months, I have learned to love you. And it's the greatest thing I know how to do."
Hmm, I've just read over the last two chapters, which were written about two years ago by the way, and realised how terrible my grammar and punctuation was back then! So please ignore it, I'm in the middle of my A Levels and have no time to change it all at the moment