A/N: Do not own Slayers. Warning: Swearing.

"Hello, Miss Ul Colpt, why is it that you have come to see me?" Filia stared distrustfully at the man opposite her. He couldn't be a doctor, doctor's were old, had beards and a hump in their backs. She knew this because Lina had loaned her a book called Humans and the Roles They Fit, so far it hadn't been too far from the truth. This man was handsome with an attractive smile, green eyes, and a thick head of auburn hair. His name was Doctor Montgomery Hoozitwatsit.

"Well, Dr. Hoozitwatsit…"

"Please, call me Monty."

"Yes, well, Dr. Monty. I believe I must have suffered recent head trauma." His eyebrows lifted in obvious surprise at her declaration.

"Your reason for thinking this is… what exactly?"

"I have been having lapses in reasoning and find myself able to tolerate," her mouth twisted at the word, "my mortal enemy."

"You think you have a mortal enemy?" He made a note in a book he held.

"I do have one." Filia felt her eyebrow begin to twitch in irritation. This doctor was beginning to piss her off.

"Uh-huh, and this enemy is?"

"Xelloss, Zelas the Beastmaster's General-Priest." Filia said primly.

Dr. Hoozitwatsit stared at her blankly. Filia however wasn't even paying attention to him. She had a bad feeling, like something she wanted to avoid was coming…

"Tsk-tsk-tsk. Filia, a doctor can't fix a stupid golden dragon." The voice had her spine straight and eyes narrowed within moments.

"Don't you know about patient-doctor confidentiality, Xelloss?" Somehow she managed to maintain a civil tone. Oh no, it was worse than she thought. Horror swept through her to the point that she was only dimly aware that Xelloss was giving her a confused look.

Dr. Monty looked like he had swallowed something bitter which gave her some satisfaction, he deserved it, treating her like she was crazy. Still, this wasn't going to fix anything, maybe what was wrong with her had something to do with Xelloss himself. She turned a glare to the filthy monster, wishing he would combust and take whatever thought controlling device he had with him to whatever afterlife monsters have to look forward to, bastard.

"Are you actually sick, little dragon?" Xelloss' mocking voice trilled from an inch in front of her face.

"Get out of my personal space, trash." she growled, the fury that had been lying in wait burst forth. But she was aware that she was as angry at herself as she was at him because a tiny little voice in her head, that sounded eerily like Lina, had been excited at his proximity.

"I come bearing a message from Val." He lifted an arm and struck and grandiose pose. Filia raised an eyebrow and waited. "he says, 'Momma, come home Gilas and (forgot) are fighting over who is going to cook me lunch and its been an hour and I'm hungry.'" Filia felt like punching the monster, not because of what Val had said but the way he was no doubt imitation her son's expressions while he was saying it. Seeing a pathetic pout on the face of her adversary was disconcerting.

"I'm on my way." Filia stood and turned to the doctor. "I am sorry to have wasted your time, I don't think you can help me." She grabbed her bag, unsheathed her mace and swung it leisurly at Xelloss, who of course dodged. "One of these days you should take it like a man… ah, that's right, you can't because all you are is a filthy monster." Filia bit out snidely. The fact that Xelloss hadn't retaliated by the time she was at the door made her almost turn back but she decided that he was waiting for it and proceeded onto the street.

Xelloss was shocked. Filia had gotten angry and he had gotten fed on that and her initial horror but her parting jibe was so…not Filia. She usually would randomly swing her mace around trying vainly to kill him. This time he was certain she hadn't even been trying to get him. He turned his eyes to the pale doctor on his cushioned chair.

"You really thought she was crazy?" He could barely contain his mirth. "Oh, she is certainly not normal but neither is she insane." He would deny it to the ends of time if someone accused him of watching the priestess from the astral plane after finding out that she was going to the doctor. never mind that her reason for going had seemed to be him and that was going into his arsenal for future use.

The doctor made a small whimpering sound. Xelloss grinned at him, his terror was so refreshing. Filia's fury was a delectable meal but no matter how unwise it was the dragoness did not fear him. It was one of the reasons he found her so intriguing. Rolling his eyes at the pathetic little male he phased out, he had better things to do the listen to a grown man cry.

Montgomery collected himself soon after the monster was gone and leaned back in his chair. If the woman in here could get away with such words towards one of the most powerful being alive then she must be a force to reckoned with. A grin came upon his features. So what if the monster had called her a dragon, he wasn't too picky; she still met the criteria of being beautiful and powerful. She also had an air of innocence, meaning in the end she would be entirely easy to manipulate. Now he had to find out who the people the demon had mentioned were, if they were competition he would be forced to subtly eliminate them.

A grin twisted his features and Doctor Montgomery Hoozitwatsit, dark mage of the second caliber. The bastards on the committee kept saying he just wasn't evil enough for first, what did he have a claim to? A few epidemics the late Rezzo the Red Priest had come and abolished. They would be singing a different tune when he had a dragon under his command. Maybe then they would spell his last name right. His name was not Floozytwatbit. Ass holes.