Hey guys sorry for being slow in updating. I wrote this chappie on the beach in MAJORCA!!!!!

The Doctor gaped in horror at the lifeless body of the girl who was his universe. Just seconds ago they had been happy and celebrating. Now... now... his brain buzzed with thoughts, he didn't know what to do. There was nothing but swirling thoughts and memories of everything they had shared together. Their first meeting. Their forced parting. And the sweet reunion and everything that had come after it. And now she was gone, gone like everything else. To the Doctor there was nothing but these thoughts, he was dimly aware of shouting in the background.

Jack rushed to Rose's side. "ROSE! ROSE!" He yelled, shaking her. "Rose please breathe." He put her on her back and began to do mouth to mouth. It wasn't the first time he had done this. Many times he had lost friends and those close to him. Many times he had gone through this trying desperately to revive them without success.

The Doctor wasn't aware of any of this. He was too busy thinking of his first official date with Rose. They shared a bag of chips at the seaside on a planet in the Andromeda galaxy in the year 5000.

Then suddenly he was shaken by his thoughts by a loud ginger woman shouting in his face.

"DOCTOR THIS IS NO TIME TO SHUT DOWN. NOW BLOODY TRY AND DO SOMETHING TO SAVE ROSE!!!!!!!!" Donna yelled.

Snapped from his thoughts he moved to Rose's side.

"Rose... Rose... I love you. Please, please... for me..." he whispered frantically. He planted a kiss on her blue lips.

And then he heard the sweetest noise. A small cough. Rose was breathing again!!

Jack, Ianto, Donna and Handy cheered. The Doctor picked Rose up and carried her to the bedroom.

"I almost lost you" the Doctor whispered as he laid her down on the bed.

"Almost..." Rose said weakly.

"Don't you worry I'm going to find out what's wrong with you and make you better. I'm your Doctor after all."

"No... no... it's me. I mean I know what's wrong with me. I've known for a long time. I... I can't say it. But... look my diary is over there. I want you to read it, to understand. Because I can't see your face when you know what it is... it's something I've done. Promise me you won't hate me Doctor. Because you might. It's bad. But... I've been wanting to get better. Truly I have. So... so try to understand. Try not to hate me because that would kill me." Rose said weakly.

"I couldn't possibly hate you. You know that. Now get some rest my love. You're sick."

He stroked her hair until she fell asleep. He listened to the soothing sound of her breathing, glad to know that she was still alive. Then he walked across the room to her diary. He felt a little funny opening it up. This was Rose's diary of secrets. But she had told him to look so he did.

March 7th

I can't believe I found him again. We saved the world. We saved the universe!!!!! And now we're together and nothing can tear us apart. This is the best day of my life.

The Doctor smiled. Where could it have gone so wrong?

March 9th

I was wrong. Today is the happiest day of my life. He took me to a planet I can't even remember the name. We ate chips and ice creams.

March 10th

Phoned Mum and told her about everything. She was happy for me but she said something. She said careful you don't let yourself go darling. She said that with all this food we're eating I'll get all fat and that nobody wants that. I said that of course I'm careful with my food and that it was a treat because I'm on a date with the man I love. But now I think of it ever since Mum got back together with Dad she's been getting a bit fat... even though she's had a baby. And she once said that Dad doesn't like it. Oh well, I'm sure it's ok. It was just a date.

The Doctor shook his head. Sometimes Jackie could be a bit of a handful!!

March 25th

I'm definitely gaining a few pounds. The Doctor keeps on spoiling me!!! I think I might need to go on a diet. I need to be fit for all the running around we do!

March 26th

Visit to Earth today, hooray!!! The Doctor made sure he bought all my favourite foods. I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm on a diet now because it will hurt his feelings. Donna saw her parents and bought some magazines. Handy... hehe I'm calling him Handy now too... he decided to go to the cinema. I don't know where Jack and Ianto went but they were probably doing it somewhere naughty. I think I heard them saying something about the top of Big Ben!!! Eww mental image. Anyway when we got back I had a look through Donna's magazines because I was bored while the Doctor was in the shower. I think I am definitely getting fat. I looked at the models. They look so skinny and I look like a big fat cow in a tracksuit. I wish I hadn't eaten so much today. Diet starts tomorrow and I will be strict with myself!!!!!

March 27th

I AM SOOOOOO HUNGRY!!! DIETS ARE RUBBISH!!!!!

The Doctor didn't remember Rose ever being on a diet but he remembered the visit to Earth fondly. He supposed that she must have got over it quickly. He skipped through a few pages. He desperately wanted to know what was wrong.

April 15th

The diet still is not working. I think I'm fatter than ever. When I look in the mirror all I see is fat fat fatness. I've stopped eating anything now because if I eat I just get FATTER!!!!!!!! The thing is I'm really hungry. Luckily nobody knows I'm not eating. I keep it a secret because I know that they will just make me eat again. So I hide my food or pretend I've already eaten a big meal. But I am hungry and I really want to eat chips.

April 16th

Today I ate lots of chips and cake and a whole packet of maltesers. But don't worry because it won't make me fat. I found a solution to the problem!!!! I was just sick after I ate it all. Now I can eat whatever I like but I won't get fat.... I hope.

The Doctor looked over to Rose's sleeping form. Suddenly he understood the horrible disease that had grabbed her. Once Jack had got drunk and told him about a friend of his who had had the same thing. He put his head back down and looked through the diary. The entries got patchy. A lot of them were the words "STILL FAT" written over and over. He remembered carrying her to the bed and how light she was. He lifted the duvet and looked at her body.

She was skinny. Wasted away almost. Just skin and bones.

June 2nd

Sometimes I think I want to get better, that I might die and that this is a sickness. But at the same time I want to be beautiful. I want the Doctor to go on loving me forever.

~The Doctor's Diary~

June 8th

I can't believe how much I have failed Rose. She has bought herself close to death. And what did I do? Nothing!!!! Even when she wasn't breathing... still nothing! I don't deserve her. I will try to make her better. But there is pain in my heart. Like nothing I have ever felt before... It's all my fault, it is. I deserve this feeling. I am not hurting enough! I should be punished for all of this... I feel like I deserve to be punished.

Rose woke up the next morning with the Doctors arms around her. She saw tears in his chocolate orbs, tears of unmentionable sorrow.

"Did you...?"

"I read it" he said sadly. "Oh Rose this is so horrible, I can't believe it had to happen to you."

"I want to get better" Rose said weakly. "Will you help me?"

"Of course I will. I love you more than anything and I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Her recovery was slow, it took months. Sometimes the food the Doctor bought her would turn her stomach and she would think of all the calories. But sometimes she was fine. Each day she forced herself to eat. She never wanted to see the worry in the Doctor's eyes again. She wanted to live and be with the man she loved.

~Rose's diary~

September 5th

I feel stronger every day. I don't give a crap how I look anymore. I haven't even worried about food in days!! It's amazing. I never thought I would be normal again, but I am. It's all down to the Doctor. He loves me, I love him and together we have got over this. I have to go... I can smell vinegar!! I think he's made me chips again...

~Ianto's diary~

September 5th

I am absolutely enormous now! None of us really know how long I'm going to be pregnant for, but we're assuming it will be like normal people. In which case, only another month of waddling around before we can meet our baby! I can honestly say I have never been so happy in my life. I can't believe how terrified I once was, but now everything feels so right. At night Jack lies next to me and holds me. He wraps his arms around me and rests his hands on my tummy. The three of us, a little family.

~Jack's diary~

September 12th

Today I made a crib for the baby! I don't think I've ever done any DIY before but I feel very proud of myself. Ianto almost cried when he saw it. I cried too and I don't even have hormones to blame!! Only three weeks to go now!!!!!!

It was less than three weeks before the baby came. Everyone was sitting around the dining table eating sheperds pie and peas made by Donna. Suddenly Ianto leapt up and cried out. Jack put his arms around him protectively.

"I think it's starting," Ianto said, looking frightened. The Doctor ran over and put his sonic screwdriver to Ianto's belly.

"It is indeed."

"It's too soon!" Jack said. "It's not meant to come for another three weeks!!"

"He's having a baby right now!!!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"BOIL SOME WATER!!!!" Donna yelled.

"I always wondered what that was for" Rose said. She was the only one still eating. Donna's cooking was delicious and she knew she had to keep her strength up.

"I DON'T BLOODY KNOW, BUT ISN'T IT WHAT YOU'RE MEANT TO DO?????"

"Owwwwwwwwwwwww!" moaned Ianto. "It really hurts!!!!"

Jack and the Doctor propped Ianto up and took him to lie down on the bed.

"Breathe, Ianto!" Jack said. Ianto puffed and panted and swore his head off.

"It £$%! hurts!!!!!!!!! Oh God it hurts so much!!!!!"

But the pain didn't last for long. After a bit more screaming and panting Ianto pushed the child into the world.

"It's a girl!" The Doctor said excitedly. "Ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes, you two have a perfect little baby girl!" He handed the little bundle to the happy couple. All the pain had left Ianto's face and he looked as peaceful and happy as his husband as he held their baby. Jack touched its little pink face in wonder.

~Jack's diary~

September 13th

Our own little girl! She is beautiful. Her hair is exactly like Ianto's, but I think she has my eyes. We knew what we'd call her immediately. Megane Rose. Megane is a welsh name, from its daddy's side. And we just had to call her after Rose, too. Rose has been a tower of strength for us and without her I don't know what would have happened. I'm glad she's better because our Megane Rose is going to need her godmother to be healthy!

~Rose's diary~

September 13th

They named the baby after me! Well it's her middle name but I am so happy. And I get to be the godmother!!!!! I know now that I will never let myself get ill again. The Doctor needs me and now this beautiful new little life needs me too.

The next month was the happiest the TARDIS had ever seen. Jack and Ianto quickly took to being parents and equally shared all the nappy changing and feeding the baby. They spoilt her rotten. Every planet they visited they bought her a little present. And everyone else spoilt the baby too. Megane Rose was a happy little baby who rarely cried and everyone on the TARDIS was completely in love with her.

~The Doctor's diary~

October 1st

Everything is... happy. I think this frightens me more than anything in the world. Trouble follows me around and I know that when something is good it turns into something bad. Like when I lost Rose. Then I found her again and I almost lost her all over again. She is OK now and I know she is better from her sickness. But who knows what will happen?

I'm also worried about Megane Rose. Her daddies are ecstatic. Of course they are, she's a miracle. But that's what I worry about. Miracles don't happen usually. Usually it's the sign of something bad. That beautiful little baby is a gift and there's no doubt about it but she's not supposed to exist. Men don't get pregnant. Men don't give birth. So... what's the story there? Obviously I can't express that to Jack and Ianto but I want to find out more.

October 16th

Oh God now I know. Now I know and I wish I had never found out. Megane Rose is a perfectly healthy baby, and it's due to the TARDIS's influence that she exists. She really was a gift. The thing is, I found this out by talking to... oh I can't even say his name. But now he knows she exists and that she is connected with the TARDIS. Megane Rose is a special child alright and now I have alerted terrible people to her existence. They will come for her now. They will not stop. It is all my fault. I need to work out what to do to protect that baby. Oh God what have I done?

Who is after the baby? What will become of everone? Tune in next time!!!

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