A/N: Here I'm again with another ficlet that turned into a fic and that was for a long time lost between my docs. It's a divergence from the darvey scene in Donna's apartment in episode 5x15, so you'll see some dialogue from the show here, and is inspired by a tweet for adoringpaulsen.
I hope you enjoy this one! And as always please remember that English is not my first language and I do my best :)

Set on 5x15

Harvey knows very well that going to Donna's apartment in the middle of the night is to push back all the blurry lines they draw over and over again between them, but at the same time, he doesn't know where else he might go tonight. Donna was, is, and will always be his compass, the only one able to clear his mind and show him the way when he doesn't know where the hell to go, so he doesn't think it too much and simply goes to that place where he was very few times, but that is full with the most important moments of the strange relationship he has with the most important woman in his life.

And when Donna opens the door and finds her warm look, he knows he came to the right place.

"Harvey, it's the middle of the night. What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you. I know you said I couldn't do this anymore, but I need to talk to you."

"Talk about what?"

"About what I have to do."

"You're gonna turn yourself in, aren't you?"

"Do I have another shot?"

"Waiting for the jury sounds like an option, don't you think?"

Harvey sighs and shakes his head in denial, and she moves from the middle of the way to let him pass. They won't have this conversation at the door. She knows it won't be easy.

"So you want to turn yourself in because some cheater called you a bully?"

"No, Donna, I want to turn myself in because he was right. I'm not unbeatable."

"No, Harvey, I think he made you feel guilty, and now you're not seeing clearly."

"Donna–"

"Harvey, if it were anybody other than Mike on trial and you saw his closing, do you think the jury would convict him?"

"I don't know, Donna, but I can't afford to be wrong about this."

"Then let me ask you a question. Why aren't you talking to Dr. Agard about this?"

"How do you know about her?"

"Because I do. And I also know that the last time you had a huge decision to make, you went to her and not me."

"Because that was about business and this is personal."

"No, Harvey, you didn't go to her because you know she won't try to talk you out of this, but I will."

"Donna–"

"Don't do it. Don't fall on your sword again."

"I have to–"

"No, you don't."

"We might not win."

"You don't always have to be the hero."

"I'm not doing it to be the hero," he responds immediately, raising his tone of voice and standing up.

"Then why the hell are you doing it?" Donna also yells because she feels the despair crushing her. She needs him not to.

Harvey remains silent for a few seconds, feels his eyes full of tears, and feels completely stupid and ashamed. "Because I don't have anyone. Mike has Rachel." And although a few seconds ago he was screaming, his voice now sounds completely trembling and weak, and his look drops as he says it. He can't stand looking at her. Not now.

"You have no one?" she does scream, bursting into tears as she stands up. "And what the hell about me, Harvey?" she keeps yelling, but her crying breaks her voice when she mentions his name.

"Donna–" he mutters, looking at a fixed point on the table. He still doesn't dare to find her gaze.

Donna stands up and circles the table until she stands next to him, staring at one side of his face, and is sure she has never seen him so defeated. And that destroys her. "Donna what?" she asks, crossing her arms to hold the desire to touch him.

"Don't do this." He begs.

"I'm sorry, Harvey, but I will." She murmurs, getting a little closer to him.

"Why?" he whispers. She almost doesn't hear him.

"Because I think you're worthy. And I don't want to lose you." Harvey turns his head slowly to look at her and feels his heart shrink when he sees so much sadness in her gaze. "I know I'm being selfish, but I'm fucking tired of doing and always being what the rest needs and that nobody cares what happens to me. Promise me you won't. At least not until the verdict."

"I can't promise you that, Donna. I'm sorry." Harvey mutters, without looking at her, and turns to the door, feeling his soul tremble inside his body. Suddenly going to jail doesn't sound like the worst possible scenario. It's so much worse to imagine leaving her alone.

Donna, not even giving herself half a second to think about it, walks fast enough to be ahead of him, wraps her arms around his neck, and presses her lips against his. Harvey doesn't respond to the kiss and that makes her feel frustrated. But he doesn't do it not because he doesn't want to, but because she has completely surprised him. Clearly, this isn't the usual behavior in them and as soon as their lips come together, they feel a damn fire inside them. "Promise me." She sobs on his lips, warm tears falling down her cheeks, as she feels Harvey's hands wrap her waist fondly.

"Donna, what are you doing?" he sobs too, dropping his forehead on hers.

"I can't let you go." She begs and wraps his upper lip among hers and this time Harvey responds, also capturing her lips between his, pouring her more against his body with his arms, while she pushes him further against her as well. It only takes a couple of seconds for their tongues to begin the battle to dominate and win this war. "Please, Harvey." She gasps, taking in some air.

"But you can live without me." He whispers, squeezing her waist with his hands affectionately.

"Who told you that?" she snores angrily on his lips.

"You have left me to go with Louis."

"And I'm back, idiot!" she yells, letting go of him to walk to the opposite point until she turns her back on him, completely on the verge of sending everything to hell, and take him to her bed for the second time because she needs to do something to stop him. "Is it that you don't see it?"

"What do I not see?" he also yells, on the verge of losing his temper. His cry makes her turn to look at him again.

"That I am in love with you, Harvey." She sobs, drying her own tears with her fingertips. Saying it out loud feels like removing a ton of stones from her back.

He sighs and feels as if his heart is being ripped from his chest. Seeing how Harvey is struggling with his tears in front of her destroys her again. "Donna, no–" although he tries to deny it with his words, he's walking toward her, because he needs to feel her, at least, one more time.

"I know you know it."

"And you know I feel the same way." He also confesses, again in that same place, where the last time he told her he loves her, and destroyed them completely.

One of Harvey's hands hugs her from her lower back and she approaches him timidly, letting him bring her closer to his body until he holds her hugged with both arms and against him, dropping his forehead against her collarbone. Donna rests her cheek on his shoulder, hiding in the hollow of his neck, and also holds him to her, with all the strength she has, letting out all the oxygen she had inside.

They feel each other trembling to the rhythm of their sobs, and being physically so close after what seemed like an eternity makes them shake a little more, but at the same time, makes them feel at home.

They don't know how much time they spend there, but they're pretty sure it's been minutes, where they couldn't get even an inch away from each other, where they've even tried to get closer than physically possible.

"Don't do it, please." She begs again. Harvey still feels her cry against his neck and hearing her broken voice again, he feels the need to squeeze her tighter against his body.

"Donna–" he exhales.

"No, don't Donna me. Not this time." She murmurs and raises her head a little so she can look at him, a sign that he interprets and imitates her. "I need you to have faith in him, as I always have faith in you. I'm begging you, Harvey." She keeps talking, her voice very low, as comes very slowly to his lips again. Their mouths open before they join together and Donna's tongue gets into his mouth even before he can notice it. It's a desperate, heartbreaking kiss. She can't let him surrender and she needs to do something to convince him because the very idea of going on with her life and not seeing him daily brokes her into a thousand pieces. She had had enough of these months away from him and it wasn't even a similar situation. So, almost without thinking about it, she goes up with her hands, wanting to slide his jacket down his shoulders.

Harvey must get all his shit together and all his willpower to stop her because damn it if he doesn't want to make love with her right now. "No, Donna. Please, wait." He denies it with his head, separating his lips from hers, but without letting go of her.

"Harvey–" she says in her choppy voice.

"We're in the middle of a huge shit right now and I can't afford to break us now too. I can't lose you again." He says calmly, moving his thumb over her sweater on the side of her body. And Donna nods, sobbing and with her lips shaking. "But it's not that I don't want to." He murmurs and sweetly kisses her forehead.

"Harvey–" she wants to speak, but the crying prevents her, and she needs to inhale deeply. "I can endure this physical distance between us. I can endure the urge I have to kiss you every day, but I can't bear to go see you in jail."

He smiles. "Would you come to see me?"

"Harvey!" she laughs and walks away a little from him, if she stays close, she will need to kiss him again. "You won't survive half a day in jail without my help."

"In the real world, either." He says sincerely and the two smile.

"Neither do I." She murmurs and dries her tears with her sweater. After a few seconds of silence, she speaks again: "Do you want a drink?"

"You know, the best thing is for me to leave." He says with a knot in his throat.

"Okay." She nods, even though she doesn't want to. "I'll see you in court tomorrow?"

"Goodbye, Donna," Harvey responds in a soft voice, avoiding the pain in her eyes, but at the same time approaching her again to gently grab her by the cheek, give her a soft and sweet kiss on her lips, and then grab his coat to leave.

Donna follows him and grabs the door before he closes it.

"Harvey, go to the courthouse in the morning, sit with Mike until that verdict comes in, and show him that you have faith in him. Like I have faith in you." She says calmly, looking into his eyes and begging that her words be deep enough to convince him. She hopes that the little grimace that his lips offer her before leaving will be a good sign. Buts she has no way of knowing. Not this time.

That night neither of them can sleep too much.

As if it weren't enough what was happening with the trial, their lips still burned after those kisses that took so long to arrive and so little to finish.

More than once they have their phones in their hands, about to call each other, but none do. They don't dare to do so. They know they could make a mess and Harvey was right, they can't destroy themselves again.

The next morning, when Donna learns the jury is ready, she heads to the court and when she meets Rachel before entering and her friend tells her that there will be no verdict and that Mike has just cut the deal with Gibbs; she feels her soul breaking into two pieces. On the one hand, it's impossible not to feel relief to know that Harvey hasn't surrendered, and on the other hand, it hurts that Mike is going to be in prison for two years and that her friend will suffer from the other side of the bars.

It's a lot of information to catch up on so soon.

When she separates from her friend, her instinct leads her to run in search of Harvey. But the man seems to be faster than her and when she gets to the places, he's already gone. Completely defeated, she leaves the building and rests against a wall, needing to catch her breath. It's at that moment, she sees Harvey passing by.

"Harvey!" Donna calls him, with no strength to yell at him. Running from one side to the other in heels with so much adrenaline and with so little rest the night before isn't the most pleasant experience.

"Donna…" he says, approaching her.

"You didn't," she says, but she doesn't sound happy. She also didn't want Mike to surrender.

"I didn't in the first place, but I wanted to change that deal. I'm sorry."

Donna sighs. "I know. I know you and I wouldn't expect anything else from you."

"You begged me not to."

"I know and I'm glad you couldn't do it if I'm honest with you." She pauses. "But either way, I was ready to forgive you if you did."

Harvey smirks. "You're the most amazing woman I know." He says, lowering the tone of his voice with each word, and he cannot see the smile her lips draw because the wind of that morning flutters her hair, but he knows she's smiling. "And I need you on my team now, I have to get Mike out somehow."

"I've always been on your team."

Harvey smiles. "I know that."

"Tell me what you need from me."

"Come with me to the firm. Ray is waiting for me in the corner." Donna nods and they begin to walk side by side on the sidewalk.

"Mike has the best attorney he can have. I'm sure you'll find a way to make his sentence not so long," Donna murmurs, looking ahead, and then turns her head to look at him. "I have faith in you, Harvey." Harvey doesn't respond, he just slightly brings his hand closer to hers and their fingers softly rub each other. She knows what that means and absorbs those seconds with all her heart.

Someday they will have the courage to talk about what they should talk about but now is not the time.

Thank you for reading it! I'd love to know what you think about it :)