Don't own the characters

A/N: Thanks to the two individuals who pointed out my mistake. I am going to go back and change the boyfriends name, which is Scott. Hope you all continue to enjoy and as always thanks for the reviews.

And I apologize for any grammar ect errors this all just stream of consciousness. I sit down I write and I don't look back. Unless something is underlined in red.

Again if anyone has a title happy to hear about it.

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Stretched out in a chair his head resting against the wall, feet propped up against a rail of Carters bed, Ty was asleep. Drool running down the side of his face he was in a dreamless sleep, better then the nightmare he had earlier that morning. A noise filtered into his consciousness, it sounded like someone choking, then an alarm went off. Was that his alarm clock? Was he home in bed? He thought as he brought himself back to consciousness. Nope. He remembered instantly where he was flying out of his chair he rushed over to Carters bedside. Looking down on his boss, his eyes open struggling to breath, scared. Ty could see fear in the blue eyes looking back up him.

"Nurse!" Ty screaming into the hallway trying to find the call button.

A doctor and nurse were already on their way into the room.

The doctor quickly moved Ty out of the way looking over Carter who lay in the bed struggling still. "Mr. Shaw. I need you to calm down. You are in the hospital you are fine. Calm down please."

Carter struggled to filter the words through his brain. Everything was cloudy and heavy. It felt like the doctor was talking in slow motion distorted. His words took forever to become audible. Carter tried to calm down closing his eyes struggling to breath.

"Mr. Shaw. You have a breathing tube in. That is why you are having issues breathing. If you could just calm down and relax." The doctor noticed the patient trying but it wasn't good enough, his oxygen stats were too low. He was fighting too much, not enough oxygen reaching his lungs. "Nurse I push IV diazepam."

The nurse rushed over to the cart pulling out a needle filled with a substance that was a light yellow color. She pushed it into the IV that ran into Carters hand. She pushed the plunger down and watched the patient.

Carter continued to struggle he couldn't clam down when he couldn't breathe. However, he quickly felt a wave wash over him. He felt his body relaxing despite the fear he felt. Something was making him calm down and making him feel tired again.

Finally relaxed the doctor was better able explain to Ty what had happen. Ty stood back eyes open with fear, "what just happen?"

"He's fine." The doctor said looking down at Carter who was still awake, but barely. "Mr. Shaw I want to see how you breath without this tube. Can you cough for me as I pull it out?"

Carter shook his head blinking back the tears that were in his eyes. He was not sure when they formed. But he did as he was told. He felt the uncomfortable object being pulled from his throat and he coughed, fucked it hurt to cough, but he did it anyways. Once the tube was out he gasped for oxygen, and more pain washed over him. Closing his eyes a tear rain down the side of his face, it hurt to cough to breath what didn't hurt.

The nurse quickly put a nasal cannula on Carter to feed him more oxygen. The doctor was busy watching the stats on the monitor to make sure that Carters oxygen level remained high enough. Happy with what he saw the doctor smiled. "Good. Mr. Shaw do you know where you are?"

Carter looked up at the doctor, "the hospital." The idiot had just told him that. Why was he in the hospital, and why did everything hurt. Carters voice was weak and hoarse. His throat painfully dry. He wanted something to drink. But he didn't want to speak that much because it hurt.

"Good do you remember what happened?"

"no."

"You were shot twice, and you also have a few broken ribs. "

Carter looked over at Ty confused.

"It's ok Mr. Shaw. Your body has been through a lot of trauma. You lost a lot of blood and you are also on a few drugs that probably are making things a bit fogy, It might take awhile for you to remember what happened. But you didn't have any head trauma so its very likely you will remember everything soon enough."

"Water..can I get some water?" Carter asked his voice cracking.

"We can probably get you some ice chips." The doctor said looking at the nurse.

"There were a few complications during your surgery." The doctor continued to explain to Carter about his condition, "You went into cardiac arrest while the surgeon was trying to patch your lung. It only took a minute to bring you back. We do not expect any complications to arise from that. However, you do have damage to your left lung and three ribs on that side are broken. Two of the higher ones, and the lower one is broken due to the bullet lodging into it. Your shoulder is fine. We expect a full recovery with some minor PT to help gain the muscle back you lost due to the bullet. You were lucky." The doctor paused to let Carter take all of the information in. He was not sure how much his patient understood, but he would explain again later if needed.

The nurse returned with the ice chips helping Carter with them. "Thank you." He said once he got enough water into his mouth to help with his sore dry throat. Swallowing again he looked up, his exhaustion clear but he needed to know more, "Everyone else is ok?"

Ty stepped in, "Yeah Jamie and Dean went home. The Captain was already here."

"Good." Carter said closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

"It's normal." The doctor said before Ty could ask. "he's been through a lot his body needs rest to recuperate. You should go home. Let him rest. We can keep an eye on him."

Ty fought the urge to stay, but he needed real sleep. He wanted to see his wife and tell her how much he loved her and how lucky he was to have her. Situations like this always reminded him how much he had and how much he could lose. "Ok. Call me please if anything happens. Or when he wakes again."

"Sure leave your number at the nurses' station." The doctor said checking over Carter taking note of his vitals. "Nurse can you help me with the bandages."

"Yes doctor."

Ty took one last glance at Carter before he walked out of the hospital room. He called Melissa first to let her know he was coming home. His next call was to the Captain informing him that Carter had woken up. Maynard wanted to know more and Ty tried to answer every question he had. Jamie and Dean could wait till later. Ty was exhausted, exhausted enough he was worried about falling asleep on his way home. Finding the care Carter and he had used during the operation, Ty closed his eyes, this was his fault. Getting into the car he drove off trying to block out the memory of Carter warning him while they were in the car about doing anything stupid. It was fresh in all their memories the last time he screwed up going home one night while under. He did it again, he screwed up again. It was stupid, how could he expect nothing would happen. When you were under you had to stay under. It was much like a method actor. You had to stay in the part the entire time, otherwise you lose something forget something, or something worse could happen.

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"You want to go get something to eat?" Dean asked as he signed the report.

Jamie looked up surprised, she never expected Dean to ask her to go out, even as a colleague. If what he said was true and all they had was sex, then this was unexpected. It was also dangerous waters. She knew connections, especially in their field, could be dangerous. Scott was safe because he was only a district attorney right now. No one would look into him, or her for that matter too much. Later it would be a problem, but right now it was not.

"I thought we weren't suppose to hang out outside of work." She answered back.

Dean smiled at her, "Never stopped us before."

She smiled back at him remembering the good times they had together, the sex was great. Better then she expected it to be, enough to make her think twice about going back to Scott. But Scott was safe. Scott was one of the guys who would always come back. Dean, on the other hand, was the typical bad boy. He would leave without notice. Never mind the dangers of their job. Either of them could die at any moment, tonight was proof of how fragile their lives were and how dangerous a simple operation could go. "where?"

"Across the street?"

"Sure." She said getting up her report having been printed. She grabbed her coat and followed Dean outside.

They sat in silence for a few minutes waiting for their food orders to arrive. Dean finally broke the silence, "You know you are going to miss the leftovers Scott put in the fridge for you." He grinned at her.

"They will be there for later." She said trying to ignore the sarcasm in his voice. What was it about her being with Scott that bothered him? They just had sex nothing more. And yet it appeared after reading between the lines, and then reading between those lines that he cared more. "What is your problem with Scott?"

"nothing don't know the guy." Dean said, "But he just doesn't seem your type."

"You've known me what less then a year already and you know my type?"

"We had sex, that helps you get to know a person real well really fast. And from what I know and from what I've observed he's not your type. I expected maybe Carter. You seemed to have a crush on him for a bit."

"What am I a high school teenager?"

"No but you have daddy issues. That was why you were trying so hard to impress Carter. I mistook it at first and just thought it was a crush. "

"Oh yeah because Carter is so dreamy."

"Men don't check out other men, and that's besides the point, daddy issues have made man of women sleep with Hugh Hefner and the man is just downright not good looking."

"I thought men don't check out other men." Jamie smiled.

"We don't. But it's obvious without checking him out." Dean said enjoying the little back and forth.

"So Scotts not my type?" She said.

"Yeah otherwise you would be at home with him now and not sitting in some shitty Chinese restaurant with me."

"Or maybe I was hungry and thought you might have something productive to talk about."

"Yeah go ahead and believe your own bull shit."

"Fine we had fun dissecting me how about you. Want to talk about daddy issues, you have mommy issues mixed in. What's wrong Dean did mommy and daddy not love you enough? Were they disappointed in you, so you choose to become a police officer. Thinking that was the last thing they wanted, but hey at least you would help people. Maybe mommy and daddy would be happy. Except they weren't. it was below you, not what they had dreamt for little Dean. So Carter comes along with these grand ideas and you see a chance to impress mommy and daddy so you jump at the chance. Except they still aren't impressed. At this point you know nothing you do is going to impress them so you look up to Carter. Want to be just like him. No connections outside of work, and live for the job. 24/7 taking on the bad guys. Tiptoeing on the line between being under and being one of them. Enjoying the danger knowing any moment the wind can blow you either way. You live for it because it's all you have. When it's all over you return to your lonely apartment, alone! Excuse me for trying not to end up alone living for the job." Jamie snapped back at Carter, happy for once that the restaurant was empty in the early hours of the morning.

"Bravo. " Dean said not smiling, he was upset, "Now if you only could get past whatever you think you know." Dean got up throwing money on the table.

"Where are you going?"

"Back home to my lonely apartment." Dean answered.

"Come on sit down finish eating. We both are upset and we both said things true or not. Just sit down and finish don't be a baby."

Dean turned back to the table, he was acting stupid, he knew it. "Ok." He said taking his seat again. They ate again in silence when they finished they both paid.

"How about a drink?" Jamie asked not wanting to go home yet. Scott would still be there and she didn't feel like arguing with him. He didn't understand why she couldn't tell him about her past, her job, anything. It was hard to explain to him that he still meant a lot to her, but there was so much she couldn't explain or share with him.

"You buying?" Dean asked not really caring.

"First ones on me." She said leading him down the street to a bar that was still open. They grabbed a seat at the bar.

"So what about your past? What does Carter have on you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." She smiled at him taking a gulp of her beer.

"Well it seems Ty felt like telling you about my past. It's only fair I get to know abut yours."

"How do you know it was Ty?"

"Carter doesn't have a big mouth like Ty. He would never tell you."

"Fair enough, but I'm still not going to tell you." She said leaning towards him. He smelt good. Most men did not smell good. It was something about them, they usually smelt dirty. Dean smelt nice. A mixture of musk mixed with his natural smell. It was a nice smell. The smell being one of the strongest senses it was what she remembered about him most. How he smelt. She smiled at him, "Want to get out of here and go somewhere else?"

"Sure." Dean failed to point out that they just arrived. They both finished off their drinks. "how about the shop? I know where Carter hides his good stuff."

"Won't daddy get mad?" Jamie smiled at him, she was flirting. She didn't know why but she was flirting with him.

"We'll replace it with water. He'll never know the difference." Dean joked back, "I'll get him a new bottle."

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Dean decided to call the hospital to get an update on Carter. Jamie was in the bathroom, both of them were drunk sharing a bottle of Carters liquor. "I'm calling to get an update on Carter Shaw?"

"Are you family sir?"

"Yes. I'm his son." Dean said knowing that was enough usually to get through.

"Hold please." He could hear typing in the background. Then the line went to annoying que music.

"Mr. Shaw?"

"Yes. How is he doing?"

"You're father is woke up this morning. He is breathing on his own. " The nurse answered his question.

"That's great. Can you tell him his son and daughter will be up later to see him."

"I sure will. I'm sure he'll be happy to see family. We just got the other gentlemen his co-worker out of here."

"Which one was that?" Dean asked.

"Um hold on let me find his name. He left it with his number. Requesting we call him as soon as Mr. Shaw woke up again. I hope that is ok, we did not know Mr. Shaw had immediate family members. Ah here is name is, it's Ty."

"Ah yeah it is fine. Ty is a good friend. Thank you." Dean hung the phone up smiling. "Guess what?"

"What?" Jamie said walking out of the bathroom.

"Ty stayed with Carter last night."

"Really."

"According to the nurse."

Before the conversation could continue Jamie's phone rang. "Excuse me." She walked away from where Dean was sitting and answered.

"Where are you?" Scotts voice asked through the phone.

"At work still."

"I heard that a cop got shot last night. I was worried."

"Where did you hear that from?" Jamie asked, she didn't think Carters shooting would make the news as a cop. They would want to protect him and his ability to go undercover. It was kind of difficult to go undercover if your face was all over the news. People would remember.

"Through the grapevine."

"oh. Well I'm fine. Just busy at work."

"Are you going to make it home tonight?"

"Probably. I'm not sure." Jamie lied to him, it was second nature to her. She was so use to lying it meant nothing when she did.

"I haven't seen you in days."

"I know Scott. It's the job."

"The one you can't tell me about. You are a cop right?"

"No I can't tell you about it, and yes I am a cop." She was upset how dare he question her like this. Like she was some suspect, some criminal.

"Funny all my cop friends can tell me about their jobs. But you can't?"

"I told you I'm working for a special unit. That's all I can say. Even saying that can get me in trouble."

"Whatever. I just don't understand. You won't tell me about what you do for days on end, you won't open up about your family or your past. What can you tell me other then you like me. You can't even tell me you love me."

Crap, this was coming up again. Why was it so wrong for someone to not say I love you back, when they did not feel that way. How is it her fault that she was not as quickly to fall in love with him. She knew at the time she should have said it back, but she was trying to be honest with him, as much as she could be. "Scott I don't have time to discuss this right now."

"You never have time. Or is it that you just don't want to make the time? Either way I'm not sure this is going to work out. I am there for you, but you are never there. And I can only do this for so long before I start feeling like maybe you just don't care."

"So you are breaking up with me again?"

"Yeah I think I am." Scott hung the phone up.

"Damn it." Jamie said closing the phone. Maybe it was a mistake to date someone so early. All she knew was that she did not want to end up like Carter. She did not want to live just for the job and have no life outside of it.

"Trouble in paradise."

"Shut up Dean." Jamie snapped ready to throw her phone in anger.

"Calm down there princess."

"I'm not your fucking princess."

"Sorry." Dean said raising his hands in surrender.

"Does Carter have more stuff stashed?"

"Of course." Dean said, "But you are replacing the second bottle."

"Fair enough. Go get it." Jamie walked over to the couch sitting down. She began to wonder how many nights Carter spent on the couch sleeping or trying to sleep. It was well known that Carter practically lived where he worked. It wasn't known if he actually had a different address or not.

Dean came back with the second bottle of alcohol. Setting it down on the table he took a seat next to Jamie on the couch. "So what are we drinking to forget?"

"Nothing. " Jamie said taking the bottle and drinking directly from it.

"You do know Carter probably has done the same."

"Well according to you I have a crush on him, so this is almost like kissing him if I were a school girl."

"Disgusting." Dean said taking the bottle from her and taking a drink from it.

He went to hand it back to her, but instead he found her looking at him.

"Was it really just sex?" She asked.

Dean knew this was one of those moments that come only rarely in a lifetime. It was a moment where the next words out of his mouth would lead him down two different paths. One was the end of his friendship or whatever else he might have had with Jamie. This path was a dark one which led him to being alone, as he was now. No one there for him when he came home at night. No one to keep him from stepping over the line. The other lead him down a different path in which he and Jamie would date and there were issues involved in just that idea. Issues about the job, how would it affect them while they were working? Would it compromise their ability to assume the identities they needed to go undercover, or what they did while they were undercover? What happened when it ended? Because it would end eventually. The options on both sides were scary and led to the ultimate destruction of what was and what could be.

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