Cullen Girls Night Out

A/N: Hey People! What's up? I want to dedicate this chapter to Kitty Brigeta for her really funny idea! Thanks to all of the subscribers, review-ers, and favorite-ers. Every single review gives me the warm fuzzies (wait…did I seriously just say that?)! The reason the chapter is late is because I had a movie night with the girls last night, and I had to clean. Also, I have officially caught Spring Break outdoorsy-ness fever. Oh, and don't forget warm-weather-procrastination. Anyway, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer The Great and Awesome does. Even so, I still own several copies of the book!

Chapter 5

(Jasper's POV)

I pretended to be engrossed in the volume range of the speakers I was looking at, while I hid out in Radio Shack. About 150 yards away, I could hear the babble of Bella's, Esme's, Rosalie's, and Alice's conversation, coming in from Chili's. Alice was practically squealing while talking about her new "gorgeous" heels and "totally hot" jeans. I chuckled at my wife's retail obsession.

(Bella's POV)

Contrary to my first expectation—even though I would never admit it—I might have been having the tiniest amount of a good time. The girls and I had gone to Chili's, and I had just finished up eating the Chicken Ranch sandwich I ordered. Esme checked her shiny silver watch.

"Oh, girls, we had better go! Unless you want to have to just go home without going dancing…" She playfully threatened. Before I realized it, we were standing up, outside the restaurant, and walking towards the elevator.

"Umm…guys, we're in public! And while we are in public what happened to no vamp speed?!" I asked nervously.

"Oh relax, Bella! Nobody saw us!" Rosalie brushed my comment off nonchalantly. "I swear, you're so high strung! I wish Jasper was here to calm you down!" On the first floor, near the pet shop, was a small crowd was gathering near a booth. Flashes of green and brown were dominant in the scene before us.

"What's that?" I asked Esme

"I don't know, sweetheart. From what I can hear, it's an animal show of some sorts." She replied thoughtfully. "How about we take a look?" We all agreed, and made our way down to the escalator.

What I saw before me was truly bizarre. The flashes of green and brown I had seen earlier were, in fact, about four snakes and six reptiles. There was a man wearing a ridiculously large turban, sitting with crossed legs and playing a flute. In front of him was a reed basket with the four snakes inside, and they were slithering in time to the music. But that still wasn't the strangest part. The man had several lizards—about five or six—perched on his shoulders and turban. As I looked around me, Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and (almost certainly) I were gawking openly and the array of reptiles in front of us. The man had just finished playing his flute.

"Ladies, and gentleman, I now need a volunteer from the audience!" he called in a voice with a heavy accent. Several people in the audience raised their hands while the man's eyes settled on Rosalie.

"How about you ma'am?"

"Me?" she squeaked in surprise.

"Well, yes you ma'am!" He walked forward—turban, lizards, and all—and took Rosalie by the hand and pulled her forward (thank goodness she was wearing her favorite zebra-print gloves), Rose muttering complaints all the way. He had her stand still while he pulled a red velvet cloth from behind his back. What is this, a fricken magic show? I thought. I suddenly noticed a nametag on his cream-colored shirt that said "Mr. Das".

"And for my first trick, I shall place several lizards around this young lady's shoulders, arms, and head. Then, I will make her—but not the iguanas, mind you—disappear!" Mr. Dasexplained to the crowd. Ok, so this is a fricken magic show, I thought to myself once more. There were loud gasps of excitement and anticipation throughout the audience. Esme sighed and looked at her watch once more; she then asked Alice how long Rosalie's performance would take.

"Seven minutes, and thirty-three seconds, give or take a few" was her precise reply. Mr. Das was putting the lizards on Rosalie's shoulders, arms, and perfect gold curls—much to her obvious discomfort. She was squirming and groaning as he put the last lizard right on her left shoulder.

(Emmett's POV)

There was a crowd gathering outside the pet store—where I was hiding—for some sort of magic show. Either way, I wasn't paying much attention because of the puppy pug I was holding. (Pugs are so cute!!!!!) Alice had said once that pugs looked a little bit like frogs, and now that I was looking at one close up and personal, I kind of saw it. Hmm…What are the odds of Carlisle letting me adopt this little guy? I wondered to myself. Few. My subconscious answered for me. And even then, Rosalie probably wouldn't like having a dog around the house. I put the little puppy back into his crate all the while wondering what his upkeep level would be. The blonde wig was really starting to annoy me. Speaking of blondes, there was a blonde lady up in the crowd, and she looked very familiar. I walked out and into the crowd, managing not to be seen.

Then, her scent hit me. Oh, my God it's Rose! Unclipping the walkie-talkieI spoke to quickly for human ears to hear.

"Cranky Grizzly, this is Cranky Grizzly requesting backup!"

"Smooth Jazz to Grizzly, what is your dilemma?" Jasper's voice squawked over the microphone.

"We have a near sighting, I repeat we have a near sighting! Requesting backup immediately!" I replied.

" Mind Freak,"—I couldn't help but laugh at the code name I had given him—", to Cranky Grizzly, what is your position?" I easily recognized Edward's voice, even through the static.

"By the Pet store, there's a huge crowd you can't miss it! But be careful, the girls are participating in some kind of animal magic show."

"We're on our way." Jasper promised. I tried to mingle in with the crowd as I waited for help to come.

A/N: So what do you think? Oh, and Kitty Brigetta, I'm going to have the reptile show continue on to the next chapter so the funny part is still to come everyone! Ok, I have several items to address. First off, I need to ask you: Should the guys get caught? Tell me in a review. Second, I have a total of zero ideas, now (submitted and mine alike!)

Third, I have taken off an option in my poll, and added another one I had an Idea for while watching the venom scene on the Twilight DVD. Well, that's all for now, guys!

Love and hugs from the U.S.,

Jane, AKA Twilighter1