Title: To be with the one he loves.
Summary: Hp/Ss, including RW/HG, Albus Dumbledore, the marauders', Lily Evans and the ever popular Lucius Malfoy. Includes M/M relationships. All of consenting age.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, Hogwarts or the wonderful world created by the stupendous J.K. Rowling. She owns all. I simply own the idea.
*
"Pierson and Snape you're up."
Harry smiled at Severus and stood, he was excited. He'd seen the surprise on Severus's face every time he'd followed him into a classroom the day before and knew that Sev was very annoyed with him. It was only a matter of time before he exploded on Harry, in an angry and passionate way.
And after Severus exploded, his anger was usually followed by lust and quiet acceptance. Which Harry would enjoy quite a bit.
Standing on the spot Professor O'Rourke had marked, Harry stood directly across from Severus. He spun his wand around in his fingers and watched Severus toss back his sleeves before pulling his wand out and narrow his eyes at Harry. Not able to resist himself, Harry winked at him, thoroughly enjoying the widened eyes and curtain of hair that Sev dropped his head down a little.
"Alright, use any spell you can think of to defend yourself, obviously that excludes the unforgivable's." O'Rourke said gruffly, waving his wand to entrap them in an invisible shield bubble, so that their stray spells wouldn't hurt anyone else.
Harry got into a defensive pose and cracked his neck, Severus's grip tightened on his and he was staring up at Harry again, eye's dark and ready. "Ready?" Both young men nodded once and O'Rourke continued, "Start."
Almost immediately, a stunning spell flew at Harry who threw up a shield just in time, before lobbing one of his own back at him. Severus's spells grew more and more violent with Harry's shield blocking them all with hardly any effort. Harry laughed at how frustrated Sev looked and tossed a Tantellegra spell at Severus, who was caught off guard and stumbled when his legs started tangling together.
He removed the spell silently and just in time to dodge one of Harry's disarming spells. He stood straight up and yelled, "Sectumsempra!"
That was the first time that Harry scowled, he lifted his wand and the spell flew away from him. If Severus wanted to play dirty, he could play just as dirty back. He swooshed his wand in a circular motion and Severus gasped as thick white robes wound around every inch of his body, up to his neck and he was lifted in the air to hang motionless. Anytime that he moved or tried to wriggle out of his bindings, the ropes would tighten a bit more.
"And stop!" Harry heard O'Rourke yell, lowering the bubble shield that was protecting the class. Harry made to release Severus but the professor stopped him with a quick, "Hold on Harry!"
"Sir?" Harry looked curiously up at him. Severus was growling low in his throat and whispering threats under his breath. The rest of the class was staring up at him in amusement. Sirius was openly chuckling and Lily looked indignant and kept hissing at him to shut up.
"This is an ingenious spell, Harry. I've never seen it before, where did you learn about it?" The professor was circling the still mid air Severus, studying the spell.
Harry paled a bit and regretted using the spell he'd accidentally created during the war. "I kind of…invented it."
"You invented this spell? That's highly advanced." The spindly man stared at him with renewed appreciation.
"Is it? D-Do you think I could let Severus down now Professor?" Harry asked, noticing how tight the ropes were getting on Severus.
"Oh yes of course! Almost forgot. Yes do let him down."
Harry waved his wand, in the reverse motion of when he'd casted it and Severus gasped when the ropes popped away and he dropped to the floor, barely landing on his feet. Harry expected a hateful look thrown his way, but Severus simply gave him an openly curious look. He stared back until Severus's attentions were captured by their Professor.
"Severus I did not recognize your spell either. What was it?"
"My own invention as well, I admit. It is a samurai sword spell, its slices the attacker open viciously… But effectively." Severus admitted slowly, but proudly. For once his head was held high and his eyes were glinting passionately.
That look alone was enough to have Harry breathing harder, was enough to make his palms sweat and sent a heated wave across his stomach. He ignored the other student's gasps at Severus's description and just smirked at Sev's proud little twitch of his lips.
O'Rourke stared at Severus for a long moment, his brow furrowed, "That's a dark spell. And you easily cast it at Harry?"
Severus's jaw tightened but he nodded, "I did. You said that you wanted to see if we were prepared. That's a spell I would cast at an enemy, without a single thought."
"I would like to see the effects of the spell."
Severus's eyes widened and he glanced quickly at Harry, who just smiled. He couldn't help but be pleased that Sev didn't want to cast the very painful spell at him, just because he was being told to. O'Rourke followed his gaze and laughed, "No, not on Harry of course not."
He waved his wand and one of the chairs in the classroom changed into a golden retriever dog. Harry stepped back and tried not to pity the dog for what was about to come. He met eyes with Sev and nodded once.
Pulling his wand out steadily, Severus took a deep breath, pointed his wand at the dog and yelled out, "Sectumsempra!"
Many people gasped when three deep slices, slashed across the dogs chest. The dog yelped out sharply as blood poured out of his chest and tried to walk forward, before falling heavily to the floor, whimpers and wet screams ripping past his teeth.
"Can you reverse it?" O'Rourke asked, staring down at the dog in morbid curiosity.
"Um…Yes." Severus said, looking slightly paler, his wand shaking minutely. He walked forward smoothly and ducked down, waving his wand over each cut slowly, quiet words could be heard, sounding like a beautiful song.
After several long moments, the room filled with only shaky breaths from the shocked and pitying crowd, and the dogs now quiet whimpers. And Severus stood and stepped back, his eyes lingering on the dog for just a mere minute too long, before snapping back to their professor, his face a mask of coldness.
Professor O'Rourke remained staring down at the panting dog for a few minutes more before his gaze flickered up to Severus. "You invented that?" Severus nodded, his hands clenched tightly. "I like it!"
The professor ignored outraged sounds from the crowd of stunned students and nodded deeply, clapping Severus on the back. "You've got nerve boy! You think of defense the way everyone should! If someone wanted to attack you, they would have quite a fight on their hands."
Severus nodded just as deeply, his eyes glinting with pride again, "Thank you Professor."
"Professor…The dog." Hermione's voice was full of pleading and she had tears in her eyes as she stared past them at the blood drenched dog. Lily clutching her arm, tears in her eyes as well.
They all looked back at the dog and blinked when they saw Flora sitting on the floor, the dog in her arms, fat tears sliding silently down her face. Her voice was unwavering as she crooned calming words into its ears.
"Oh! I almost forgot. Be around death enough and you don't notice it anymore." O'Rourke said looking surprised to still see the dog. "If you please Flora…"
Flora kissed the dog on the head before gently laying it back on the ground and stepping away, letting her tears drop down her face without wiping them away. Without emotion on his face the stone cold Professor waved his wand at the dog and it was instantly popped back into a chair, the puddle of vibrant blood disappearing along with the dog.
Many relieved sighs could be heard throughout the classroom and O'Rourke seemed to notice how disturbed a lot of people were. His face tightened and he barked out, "Listen here you lot! If you think seeing that dog die is the worst thing you could possibly see, then you're living in a fairy world! The real world is violent and evil and you'll see worse than a dead dog. You leave this safe and comfortable school in less than a year, to go out into that real world! You had better be prepared, like Severus and Harry are! If not then you're easy picking for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" he glared at each of them.
"For your homework I want you to get together with your partner and answer these three questions. One: Would you be able to kill? Two: How would you face impending death, fighting or giving up? And three: How would you kill, if you were forced too? You will be delivering your answers orally. In front of the class. Go on, out!" He pointed at the door, looking angry.
Most of the students hurried to get out of the classroom, away from their 'Crazy' Professor, but Harry took his time grabbing his bag. He could see Severus staring down at the chair that had been the golden retriever. Taking a deep breath, Harry walked over to him with every step wanting to comfort Severus.
"Hey."
Sev's head snapped up, his eyes glittering darkly, "What?"
"Now you know what it does."
"What makes you think I didn't know before I cast it at you?"
Harry laughed slowly, but kept his eyes locked on Sev's, "Oh I know you knew what it did when you cast it at me, but now you know what it looks like…What it feels like."
Severus's eyelashes fluttered a few times and he looked down at the floor. For once he seemed lost for words. Harry reached over and squeezed his arm gently, "Meet you in the library at six o'clock for the homework then?"
"Oh yes the homework. Six o'clock then. Don't be late Pierson." He flinched out of Harry's hold and swooped out of the room, giving the victim chair a wide berth.
Harry sighed, feeling unsatisfied, unhappy that he hadn't been able to comfort Severus when he obviously needed it. Maybe that night he could get him to open up, the questions they'd been set as homework were very intimate. Maybe he could get Severus to become a little more vulnerable.
*
Harry tapped his quill on the blank piece of parchment and looked around. He had purposefully left the common room thirty minutes early, so that he could be at the library before Severus, but now he was just sitting there, waiting. This wasn't biding well with him, he kept envisioning their study session getting steamy, ending in him pulling Severus across the table and ripping his clothes off. And this was leaving him with a very…large…and hard problem.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, driving the palm of his hand into the bulge, tenting up his pants. He turned a deep red when he heard a snort and Severus saying silkily, "Need to be alone Pierson?"
"Ah. Ha. No, much rather have you here…" Harry said as he turned and winked at Severus who was carrying just a folder of parchment and a quill.
Severus rolled his eyes at Harry and avoided his gaze as he sat down across from him, "Let's just get this done."
"Well if you insist." And after flashing Sev a wicked grin, Harry refocused, "Okay, first question. Could you kill?"
"Yes I could." Severus nodded and jotted down his answer on the piece of paper. "Your turn."
Harry felt a wave of cold wash over him, and blinked rapidly, "If I had too…Yes." He quickly jotted down his own answer, ignoring Severus's curious look.
"Next question… If you were facing death, would you die scared or die fighting." Severus rolled his eyes, "These are pretty easy questions don't you think? I mean who would just lie down and let someone kill them? That would be idiotic."
"Some people chose not to give up that innocent part of their souls and just die, instead of murdering someone else…" Harry said softly, definitely drawing Severus's curiosity with his odd tone.
"How would you know?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
Harry met Severus's eyes deadly serious, "I don't think you would want to know what I know or what I've seen." Pictures of many familiar faces, dying, and fighting flashed in front of his eyes.
The haunted look in his eyes made Severus draw slightly back, "Maybe I would like to know."
A cheeky grin popped up on Harry's face, "So you're curious about me are you?"
"No! Perhaps a little bit…But only when you say things like that. Anyone would be curious and you know It." his tone was defensive, and he glared at Harry across the table.
Cocking his head, Harry shrugged, "I've seen a lot Severus, and most I wish I hadn't. War is…not pleasant."
"You've seen war?"
"I'm American remember? We aren't happy if we aren't fighting with someone!" Harry laughed, and then went still when Severus chuckled across the table from him. He sighed happily at the sound and smiled softly at Severus.
Severus smirked, "At least you acknowledge the truth about your country."
"Wouldn't do anything less." Harry said absentmindedly brushing his quills soft feathers across the back of Severus's hand.
With a small shiver, Sev moved his hand and cleared his throat. "Anyway, what's your answer?"
"I'd fight. I have too much to live for. Too many people to live for…" Harry said deliberately meeting Severus's eyes.
There was no denying the glimmer of nervousness in Severus's eyes now, a soft blush covered his pale cheeks and he looked down at his papers. He coughed nervously and said thickly, "Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"You act like…We're intimate, like we know each other intimately. We don't know each other and yet, you act like you have feelings for me…" Severus mumbled a curtain of dark hair dropping, to hide his face.
"Would it be horrible if I did?"
"Yes!" Severus's eyes glimmered up at Harry.
"Why? You…don't find me attractive, is that it?"
"That's got nothing to do with it. Just…Stop. Let's just get this homework done." Sighing loudly Severus looked back down at his parchment, ignoring Harry's aggravated sigh.
"Sure. Last question: How would you kill, if you were forced too?" Harry leaned back in his chair, staring at Severus intently.
Blinking slowly Severus shrugged, "Why is that important as long you got it done?"
"If you're going to kill someone, you have to have thought about how."
Sev frowned at Harry's obvious answer, "Well…I suppose I'd cast Avada Kedavra. Simple and straight to the point, isn't it?"
"You have to really feel anger to cast an unforgivable, if you're just afraid it won't work."
"How would you know?!" Severus asked angrily.
Harry gave him a look and then smirked, "if I had to kill, I'd do the same Avada Kedavra."
"Oh and it would work for you?"Again he raised an eyebrow at Harry.
"It has. So I don't see why it wouldn't." Harry's voice was the coldest Severus had heard it ever and he shivered at the intensity in Harry's eyes, the blatant honesty that backed up his words.
He swallowed deeply at fact that he was intimidated by the mysterious boy sitting across from him. The boy who was admitting that he'd cast a least the killing curse at least once. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the eyes that were threatening to pull him into the haunting depths. "Well…I think we're all done here. We can revise our questions on our own. I'll give you a copy of my answers at breakfast. Professor O'Rourke is likely to make us read each other's answers. You know, to make it more personal."
"I like the sound of getting more personal with you…" Harry mumbled under his breath.
Sev thought that Harry had probably thought that Severus wouldn't hear him, but he did. And it erupted an ache deep in his gut. "I'm going to go…"
Harry reached stood and reached out without thinking, his fingers closed over Severus's wrist and they both sucked in a deep breath at the spark of electricity that rushed through them at the contact. "Wait. I want to get to know you, Severus."
Ignoring the ache that was starting to grow anytime he looked at Harry, Severus moved his wrist trying to get it free. "Pierson…"
"My name's Harry."
"Let me go…" Sev said sternly, his eyes burning into Harry's. He knew that it was pointless to try and grab his wand. Pierson had already proved who the better duelist was.
"Say my name." Harry whispered, stepping close to Severus, turning his hand just so that his fingers could brush across the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrist.
"W-what?" Severus was having a hard time keeping up his cold façade, as Harry's fingers teased the sensitive skin on his wrist. His knees were trembling and he felt a cold sweat build up on the back of his neck.
"My name is Harry…I want you to call me, Harry." Harry whispered, his new husky voice sounded seductive even to him.
"Fine, Harry…"
Harry almost grew hard again just at hearing Severus's voice saying his name again. A low groan ripped out of him and he leaned in again, his eyes locked on Severus's.
"Oh, hello Harry and Severus too!"
Severus ripped his wrist out of Harry's grasp and scrambled backwards, grabbing his papers off the table and holding it up to his chest, like a paper shield. His face was bright red now. Harry cursed, took a deep breath to soothe his harsh inhales and looked towards the voice.
Lucius, (who had spoken), and Sirius walked around the corner, many feet away from each other. Lucius was staring at them interestedly, while Sirius just smiled at Harry, having not noticed anything odd between Harry and Severus.
"Lucius, hello. Hi Sirius!" Harry smirked very annoyed, when Severus edged away, not looking back at him.
"Hello Harry." Sirius smiled happily as he loped over to him.
"Working on your defense homework?"
Lucius smiled dramatically, "Sadly. You get yours done?"
"Yep, just finished…" Harry realized the danger he was in and decided to escape. He fake yawned and smiled sleepily. "Gee, I'm awfully tired. Think I'll head to bed now…"
"It's only seven." Lucius pointed out with a knowing grin.
"Yeah but been a long day…New school and all…"
"I completely understand." Sirius smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Must be exhausting…Being in such a new place, surrounded by people you don't know."
"Exactly." Harry said, miming a yawn again.
"Let's get you to bed." Sirius murmured sweetly.
Harry could have rolled his eyes, at the implications thick in that short sentence. But jumped at the chance to escape too overly attentive guys. "Yes, sleep sounds nice." He aimed a sweet smile at Lucius, "Goodnight Lucius."
Lucius dipped his head, his eyes burning into Harry's, "Sleep well Harry…"
Harry smiled again at how dramatic Lucius was, scooped up his homework and quill, and turned, hearing Sirius follow after him. Once they left the comfort of the library Sirius chuckled loudly, "Nice job eh, using the 'I'm new and simply overwhelmed!' card to get away from silky Lucius."
"Yeah, thought it might work…" Harry grinned at how by simply walking in the corridors, Sirius drew looks from every passing girl and a few boys, as well. He was incredibly good looking, his wavy black hair graceful and landed perfectly anytime he shifted. His dark blue eyes glinting with mischievousness, and playfulness, while his full dark red lips, held promises of pleasure and either heartbreak or love. He had wide shoulders that aligned just right with the rest of his lean, but muscle ridden body. And he walked like he owned the place, proud and strong. He was just as domineering and self entitled as Lucius was, he just hid it better.
"So Harry…" Sirius sounded quite uncomfortable and he kept spinning his wand through his fingers, so quickly that Harry marveled at the fact that he hadn't dropped it yet. Harry tried not to groan in distress he wasn't sure he wanted Sirius to keep talking.
"Yes, Sirius?" he had to stop this, end it now. Otherwise it might carry on too long.
"You're a Poof, right?"
Harry stopped a little shocked at how blunt the question was, but when Sirius finally realized what he'd said and paled, Harry burst out laughing as he tried to apologize. "Harry, I am so sorry I didn't mean it the way it came out! Seriously mate I'm sorry if that came out bad!"
"Seriously, Sirius it's alright. Just a little surprising to hear someone say it so bluntly. But yes I'm a poof." Harry laughed and shook his head.
"Did you know…Right away that you were…Liked blokes?" Harry didn't think he'd ever seen Sirius blush so much, or look so nervous.
"No…Not right away. I didn't really know until I kissed my first lover." Sighing wistfully Harry remembered his first homosexual kiss. Him pinning a furious Severus down on the floor, pushing away their wands, breathing harshly, swearing loudly at each other, and then his lips had been on Severus's. It was like time had fallen away and only they remained, their lips, and their bodies pressed into each other.
It had been the perfect kiss and it was one of his favorites. It was one of the thousands, one of the millions of kisses that they had shared and yet it stood out in his mind. So vividly.
"So…A person wouldn't know that they like blokes until they kiss one?"
"Not with all people, but yeah I guess a few people need physical intimacy before they know." Harry cocked his head and looked thoughtfully at Sirius.
Sirius was looking away, his eyes on the floor thoughtful and curious. Harry studied him for a long moment, "Don't think you have to answer this or anything, but d-do you think you might like blokes?"
"Err…Maybe…" Sirius was definitely avoiding Harry's eyes by now. He was staring right at the floor.
Resisting the urge to snort or roll his eyes, Harry shrugged, "Do you like someone in particular?"
A small smile floated across Sirius's face, "Yeah…"
"And does he like guys?" Harry rolled his eyes, leading the conversation in a slow and gentle way.
"Not really too sure. I mean, well he's never shown interest in girls…"
"Maybe you should talk to Re-…Him." Harry stumbled over Remus's name. It was different talking to Sirius, if he mentioned Remus's name, he would probably freak out and start denying that he was interested in him at all.
"Maybe…" Sirius said unconvincingly. He stopped and looked up at the Fat Lady's portrait. He was rocking back and forth on his heels. "Could I kiss you?" He asked randomly, his eyes nervous and his voice shaking.
Harry blinked in surprise, "W-What?"
"Just too know…I don't want to get his hopes up and then find out I don't like kissing blokes." Sirius mumbled quickly, the toe of his shoe kicking the floor.
Thankful that the Fat Lady seemed to be sleeping, Harry bit his lip aggravated. Sirius had a point, he could just be confused about his feelings for Remus and that would be disastrous for Remus. It was better to know now.
"Fuck…" He said quietly, he grabbed Sirius's hand and pulled him down the hallway and into empty classroom. He shut the door behind them and tapped his wand on the doorknob. He straightened and stared sternly at Sirius. "This is purely educational."
Sirius managed to nod, but his eyes were wide. Harry stepped up to him, took his face between his hands, leaned in, stopped and said, "And you tell No one." Sirius nodded again, his eyes on Harry's lips.
Harry pushed in and let his lips graze across Sirius's, leaving him enough room to move back if he wanted to. And when he didn't, he pressed his lips in firmer. Sirius's lips were soft and pliable against his own, nothing like Severus's harsh, dominating lips. He could have rolled his eyes at how willing Sirius was under his influence. It was rather annoying. Harry liked to be dominated, to be controlled, or at least to fight for control. He sure hoped that Remus was a dominating top, who just looked like a sweet bottom.
Sirius opened his mouth but Harry just pulled back, "I think that's enough to know. So? Do you know?"
Wiping his mouth a little, Sirius nodded, looking a little gob smacked, "Yeah I think I know…"
"Excellent, so what's the verdict?"
"Oh I think I like blokes…"
'Duh.' Harry thought obviously. "You think you're gonna tell 'him'?"
"I think I am…I'm just really hoping that I don't make a fool out of myself…"
"You wont." Harry insisted walking over to the door, muttering the unlock charm and opening the door. "Just remember…Tell No One."
With a deep nod, Sirius smiled and stepped forward, "Thank you, by the way…"
Harry dazzled him with a grin, "My pleasure. And no one finds out!"
"No one finds out!" Sirius repeated loudly, reaching out and pulling Harry back down the hall to the Fat Lady's portrait.
"Firenewt."
Harry let Sirius pull him through the opening and rolled his eyes when he immediately yelled out, "Remy Poo!" Harry nudged him forward with a wink and the black haired boy gave him a grateful smile.
He watched Sirius bound over to Remus, who was sitting on a couch in front of the fire and launch himself next to him. His head landed in his lap, his head blocking the book Remus was reading so interestedly in front of him. He watched Remus smile shyly and bop Sirius on the nose with the end of the book. "Hi…"
"Hi." Sirius said quietly, his hand reaching up to take the book. "I missed you all day, Moony pie."
Remus rolled his eyes, "Oh really Padfoot?"
Sirius leaned up and pecked Remus's nose, "Really. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Um…No." Remus looked around shyly.
Harry did too. Hermione and Lily were sitting together in front of the fire working on something, while James and Ron were playing wizard chess. He leaned back against the wall by the portrait hole and looked back at Remus and Sirius.
"Have you seen Peter lately? I haven't seen him in ages." Remus said curiously.
"Wormy? Oh no, I haven't seen him. That is weird. Oh well…So didn't you miss me too?" Sirius pushed away the subject he didn't want to hear and focused more on Remus.
Remus let out a light, amused sigh, "Yes Padfoot I did miss you."
"How much did you miss me?"
"Sirius! Honestly…"
"How much?"
"This much." Remus opened his arms wide open and for once let his true smile shine through.
"Only that much? Why Moony I thought you cared!" Sirius buried his face into Remus's stomach and pretended to sob.
"Okay, this much!" He threw his arms open wider.
Sirius looked up, sniffling, "Much better."
"Happy now?" Remus shyly put his hand on Sirius's head and ruffled his hair. Even then his hair didn't get messy.
"Almost…" Sirius leaned up quickly and pecked Remus's lips, before jumping off him and striding over to James and Ron who were trying to act like they hadn't seen anything. Lily and Hermione were pressing their hands to their lips, presumably trying to hold in giggles.
Harry watched Remus gape for a few minutes, his eyes wide and his hand still in the place that was holding Sirius's head. Then his face turned red and he ducked his head, his pale hair dropping in front of his face. He grabbed his book again and opened it, pretending to read.
Smiling lightly, Harry pushed off the wall and sat down next to Remus. "Hey Remus."
"Oh hey Harry…Did you um…See?"
"Yeah, it was quite adorable actually."
"But what was that?"
"Seemed like he kissed you…"
"Yes…He did, didn't he?" Remus ran his fingers across his lips and took a moment before smiling back up at Harry. "So how is your um…Your romantic interest going?"
Harry let out a low sigh, "I'm not sure. He's so guarded! He's like…" He let out another sigh. "I don't even know! He honestly gets mad at me for flirting with him! Like yells at me!"
Remus laughed, "Sounds like him. Has he tried to curse you yet?"
"No."
"Well then he likes you. If he really didn't like you then he would have just cursed you by now."
"Hm. Good point." Harry laughed. "So when you gonna kiss Sirius again?"
"He…He probably didn't mean it like that. I mean, you've seen him play around with me, before. So I-it mean nothing." Remus hummed nervously and stood, "Goodnight."
Harry glanced over at Sirius who was frowning and staring after Remus, who was hurrying up the stairs. Harry looked away and met Ron's eyes, Ron raised an eyebrow at him and Harry quirked his mouth and shrugged. Ron frowned dramatically at him and shrugged, as if to say "what can you do?"
"Yeah I think I'll be going up to bed as well." Harry smiled and followed Remus up the stairs.
*