Warnings: References to Attempted suicide, References to almost/attempted rape.

Her hair was to the middle of her back. She hadn't cut it since it had been shaved when she had been put in Nina. She wanted it out of the way before the party that she was going to with some of her roommates so she was working on braiding it when suddenly a voice echoed through the apartment coming from the direction of the door.

"Jane, somebody's at the door for you." El froze, she wasn't expecting anyone and she didn't like surprises. Was it the government? Were they searching for her again? It was probably just one of her friends, coming here to surprise her even though they should know by now that she didn't like surprises.

"Who is it?" She yelled through the door to Megan, one of her roommates. There was a short pause then Megan yelled back.

"He says he's your brother." She frowned, Jonathan had graduated from college a year ago and had moved to Chicago, she saw him on holidays and if she came home for her chosen birthday he'd come home as well but she couldn't imagine why he would come all this way to see her. It could also be…but she hadn't seen him in over a year. He never came home. Not anymore. Still, she got up off her bed and made her way to the living room, and froze. Will. It was Will. She hadn't seen Will since..was it the year before last Christmas?

Will looked awful. His skin was pale like he had been avoiding the sun since she last saw him and his clothes, a long-sleeved blue plaid shirt, and jeans were kind of hanging off of him. He looked up then and she noticed his thin face and bloodshot eyes like he hadn't slept in days. Something was definitely wrong. El grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her bedroom, he followed her mostly looking at the ground. When they were safely in her room with the door closed she wrapped Will into a short hug. Short because she noticed that he was trembling slightly.

"Will are you okay?" The second it came out of her mouth, it seemed like it was a stupid question. He looked awful, she knew Mom and Dad hadn't seen him in over a year as well and Will used to be so close to his family. She had always known that something had to be wrong, she just hadn't known exactly how wrong. Will still wasn't really looking at her but he started wringing his hands.

"El, you have to make it stop, you have to make it stop." El frowned processing that. She was fairly sure what he meant, what he had to mean but she couldn't make it stop, at least not personally. Why did he want it to stop? It was what connected them besides their parents being married now and the two being officially siblings now.

"Why do you want it to stop?" She couldn't deny that she was a little hurt by that. He had powers like her. Well, not exactly like her, it was different but the two had powers and they had used their powers together to take down Vecna.

To her surprise, Will scoffed and it was a hollow sound that made her even more worried about her brother.

"This 'power' is the worst thing to ever happen to me." El's frown deepened.

"But we stopped Vecna, together." Will shook his head and as he did she noticed the dark circles under his eyes as they hit her bedroom light.

"That is the only good thing I've ever done with this power. It's cost me everything." How could it have cost him everything when he could use it to have anything? It didn't make any sense to El. Sometimes she was jealous of his power, even if it wasn't as physical as her own, his words could change anything. The government left her alone just because Will told them to, she was still grateful but maybe she should have told him that more often. Maybe she should have reached out more, especially when she had realized that Will was pulling away from her, from everyone.

She wasn't sure what to say. What to do. She understood the world now more than she had in high school but having a brother was still something she somtimes wasn't sure how to handle. Especially Will. Should she give him a hug? It looked like he could use a hug but he also looked a little skittish like he might run away if she got too much in his personal space.

"What's going on?" El needed more information. Something to go on so she would have any clue how to talk to him. He started pacing in a tight circle.

"They didn't accept me like they promised. Not because I was gay, not because I was broken but because of my power. Mike was the one that convinced me to learn to use my power I wanted to bury it inside me, but he thought it would help us defeat Vecna". It had, as scary as that night had been, as scary as Will had been, together and without losing anyone else they were able to finally defeat Vecna.

"But ever since I could do it without speaking, every time they did something even slightly out of character even if they were drunk or high they would blame me. Even after I got control again and insisted that I wasn't doing anything. I got tired of being blamed."

It must have happened their sophomore year. She had a tutor, so she had been around the party a lot less than she would have liked to have been. When she was with them she felt like there was this wall between Will and the others that she didn't understand. Will had stopped hanging around the party near the end of their sophomore year and spent most of his time alone. She had never understood exactly why, just that Will was sad.

"But then I was always alone. Always alone." She should have dug more into it. She had asked both Will and the party and while the party sounded a little guilty whenever she brought it up she should have dug more into it. Maybe then Will wouldn't be standing there in front of her like this. She should have tried harder but she had been glad to finally fit in with a group.

"I finally made friends again in college. They didn't know what I could do, weren't scared of me since I didn't have to speak. I promised myself that I would never tell them, and that was the only I could keep them was if I never told them. I never used it on them but I was afraid if they ever knew, ever found out, they would leave me too. And then I found my first boyfriend."

Will had come out to her and their mom and Dad in his senior year. Apparently, Jonathan had already known. Mom and Dad had been very worried for him, El hadn't because of his power. Perhaps she should have been more worried. Will swallowed harshly. He clenched his hands and his eyes started watering.

"I was drunk and horny and I thought that he was too." El felt a chill run through her, hoping that he wasn't going to say what she thought he was going to say. "I was seconds from screwing him when I realized that I was pushing him. That it wasn't what he wanted, I nearly forced myself on him because I was nearly too drunk to keep control of myself." She relaxed slightly as she realized that Will stopped himself. "I promised myself that that would never happen again, that I would never do that again." Tears were flowing down Will's cheeks and she realized that this was much worse than she had initially feared.

"I haven't been able to have sex, not even sober. I keep wondering if I'm subconsciously pushing them and they don't really even want to be with me. Maybe they're not even really gay? Maybe I'm just pushing that on them and I can't drink unless I'm alone and… and more and more I'm alone because I can't push anyone consciously or unconsciously if I'm alone but I hate being alone and I can't stand knowing what I almost did ..and I just need it to stop. I need everything to stop. He looked down at her with tears still streaming down his face but also with determination in his eyes.

" I need you to either kill me El or help me find some way to get rid of it." Yes, much worse than she thought. She grabbed his wrist again noticing how thin it was. Yes, this was much more serious than she thought.

"Maybe you just need more practice?" El wondered aloud but Will shook his head several times.

"No, I'm not going to use it, I refuse.

"But maybe-"

"I tried myself." He pulled his sleeves back and El's eyes widened at the scars that ran the length of his arm up to his elbow. They were pink, not white which meant that this probably happened in the last few months

"I passed out and my roommate found me. He doesn't know anything about me. Just thought I was a weird but quiet kid. He called the hospital, they fixed me. I pushed the doctor and nurse so that they would let me leave. That's the last time I purposely used it." He pulled down his sleeve again but all she could see were the scars on his arm. How had Will been that close to death and El just not know anything? Why hadn't she tried harder to reach out to him?

"So I need it gone, or I need to be gone," Will said intently and she could read the desperation in his voice. He was deadly serious. If she didn't help him, he would probably just try again.

"I'm not going to kill you," El said as gently as she could. Will was her brother, he wasn't a bad guy no matter what he thought. He just had trouble with his abilities and after hearing about his problems with it so felt guilty that she had ever been jealous of it. She ran her fingers over the sleeve that covered the scars that she could still clearly see in her mind. The last thing she wanted was for her brother to die either by his hand or anyone else's and if the only way to stop that was to get rid of his abilities then she would.

"We can talk to Sam, Papa had a way to stop Vecna's abilities, maybe Sam has access to that research." She probably wouldn't have mentioned it, except she could now see how much his ability was hurting him. Besides, if he ever changed his mind she could pull it out of him like she had done with Vecna. "If he doesn't I'm sure that they can come up with a way to stop it. I trust Sam." She did for the most part. Sam omitted some things like working with Papa but Papa had been the one who knew what happened in the past and what she had to remember. He had tried his hardest to protect her, though papa didn't always let him. Besides, if they tried to hide Will or experiment or utilize him against his will she would free him. She was the only telekinetic left that she knew of after all. Will was still crying, harsh sobs occasionally bubbling up and he whispered brokenly.

"I just need it to stop." El hugged him tightly to her though at first, he made no move to hug back.

"I'll make it stop, I promise." He grabbed her tightly after a moment and El let him cry on her shoulder. She would do anything to make sure that her brother was okay again.