If you're still feeling up for more bashing...
Disclaimer: For the hundredth time, no, I do not own both Naruto or Inuyasha.
' Pop!' 'Pop!' 'Pop!' 'Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!'
Several loud pops echoed throughout the well as our favourite shinobis found themselves all squashed at the bottom of the tiny, narrow well, struggling to breathe through all the carbon dioxide.
" Shi-ka-maru?" Kiba managed to gasp out.
" Yeah, what?" Shikamaru replied, just as squashed as the others.
" Try to make sure that…. Chouji doesn't fart…" Came his strained reply. Shikamaru snorted at the Inuzuka for joking at a time like this.
" Tell that to yourself. Idiot." He snapped as he could feel Chouji shifting above him. With the other boy's weight on top of him and legs bent in an odd position because of the lack off space, Shikamaru was not the least bit comfortable. It seems that the one who fell down first (Naruto) was at the top and the last to fell (Neji), was unfortunately at the bottom.
" U…suratonkachi… Get off me." Sasuke snarled at the Orange on his chest. Naruto was happy to comply, but having your head down and legs stuck up in the air was not a good way to regain balance without squashing everyone below him. Sasuke too, realized the problem and inwardly sighed.
Muffled curses could be heard from the bottom person, namely Neji. " Damn you all for being so clumsy!" The Hyuuga screamed and threw a slight tantrum, banging his fists against the well, body buried under the weight of thirteen shinobis, plus one dog. " Are you even shinobis or not? To get involved in this mess! Just let Naruto and Sasuke fall, idiots! Not me!"
" Go-Gomenasai, Neji-nii-san." Hinata, who was above him, said. " To get you involved in this mess with me…"
Neji, realizing that he could not, shout, blame, or kill his cousin sighed, anger suddenly deflated. " Iie, this must all be part of my fate for harboring a hatred to the branch family…."
Kiba involuntarily shifted, his shoulders shaking. Badly muffled snickers could be heard from above. Hinata could tell that her teammate was laughing away at the Hyuuga boy silently.
'Pop!'
Suddenly, the shinobis found themselves flung out off the well unceremoniously, without any warning. The good thing- there was finally some fresh air. The bad thing- they were falling. Of course there were shinobi, so what was a little drop from thirty meters up in the air going to do to them?
Obviously, the first to fall was the heaviest. So down Choji went, landing hard on something red, but before he had time to register exactly what he had landed on, Sakura and Ino, both clutching each other and screaming loudly without any purpose whatsoever, landed hard on him. A few seconds later, Tenten came tumbling down, missed the small pile of stacked up shinobi and landed directly, hard onto the ground, face smushed into the grassy floor. The other shinobi soon followed Chouji's example and tumbled down, piling up against one another.
But the one who had the most original fall was Shikamaru, who got halted halfway by Temari, who was still unduly mad at him for dragging her along for the ride. 'Whack!' Ouch. Temari had sent poor Shikamaru flying back to earth at an accelerated speed.
Finally, Aburame Shino dropped, landed on the top most person (Naruto) and using that poor fellow's head as a footing, bounced lightly and landed neatly onto the ground." Hmp." He snorted and hands in his large overcoat's pocket, walked off into the forest. ' That's for leaving me behind.' Everyone watching his back stared, confused at him.
Finally, Naruto got his wits back and started screaming at the nonchalant Aburame. " OEI! What is the meaning of this, Shino! Using the great Uzumaki Naruto's head as a footing!!"
Everyone too, snapped back to reality and started shaking and screaming for Naruto to get off.
Inuyasha was minding his own business one fine afternoon, wandering in the oh-too-familiar forest, remising about the days he used to spend here. Why he was doing that, we all wouldn't know. Probably because he had suffered from a neck breaking OSUWARI attack not too long ago..
' Oh, this is the cherry tree that Kikyo used to play under with the village brats…' Hmm…that wasn't right. He's supposed to think of good memories. Memories of Kikyo are sad. ' Ah, this is the large fine oak tree where I first met Kikyo.' Arrrgh, Kikyo again? ' A-ra! I remember this! This is the sakura tree that Kikyo had pined me to with five arrows!' Stop! Stop! Stoooop!
"I'm devoted to Kagome, I'm devoted to Kagome, I'm devoted to Kagome…" Inuyasha chanted under his breath as he fastened up his pace to walk through the forest, looking like a psychopath.
Not noticing where he was going, he bumped into something hard. Cursing his clumsiness, he looked up to glared at the offending object for, well, just being there. 'Oh this…this is the Goshinboku tree that I was pined to for fifty bloody years! By my love, Kikyo!!' Kikyo again. What was wrong with him? This entire forest was crying out 'Kikyo!'
" B-B-But…I'M DEVOTED TO KAGOMEEEEEE…!" Inuyasha wailed in denial and dashed out from the forest canopy, wanting to get out of this place for some fresh air. Finally, he caught a glimpse off the old well before something large, heaving and flabby literally fell onto him before he could even let out a squeak.
So much for wanting fresh air.
"Where the hell are we?" Naruto asked as the Shinobis cooled down a bit and gathered around each other.
" How should I know?" Kiba replied, nose already out in the air and sniffing, belly tightly squashed between Hinata and Lee. Thankfully, his head was still free. He put his head down and shook it. " What ever it is, we're not in Konoha. I don't recognize any familiar scents here at all. Hell, we're not even in Snow, Sand, Waterfall, Rain, Sound, Rock, Cloud, or Mist! "
" Maybe its some village you've never been to, Kiba-kun." Hinata suggested softly, struggling to remove her tangled limps from under him.
Kiba shrugged. " That means we've been teleported to a place really, really far away."
"So where the hell are we?!" Naruto exclaimed, already impatient.
" So why don't you just get off first before Neji dies of suffocation?" Sasuke snapped from under Naruto. Neji groaned under Hinata, too squashed to say anything.
" Ahhh…gomen." Naruto sheepishly grinned and nimbly jumped off the pile, Sasuke appreciatively doing the same. Relieved sighs could be heard as one by one, the shinobis untangled their sore limbs from each other. Once he got off, Lee helpfully plucked Tenten out from the ground, the kunoichi's face squashed with bits of soil and earthworms dangling off it. Everyone ignored her as she hurriedly brushed them off and turned to glare at anyone who looked her way.
Suddenly, as the shinobis were appreciatively stretching their limbs, a plain looking girl dressed in a hideously green sailor schoolgirl's uniform came barging into the clearing, clutching what looked like a ball off tangled fur and hair.
" Inuyasha! I'm sorry I sat you! So let's not get mad at each other and return to the village, 'kay? Inuyasha!!" She cried in what would be a poor imitation off a 'helplessly sweet' voice. Suddenly, she stopped as she realized that she was not the only one in the clearing. Fifteen pairs of eyes stared back at her, shocked at the loudness of both her voice and running, and her extremely pathetic detecting abilities.
" Who are you?" She asked rather rudely, shifting the ball of hair into one arm and reached for her bow slowly, trying to look intimidating to the strangers, but her hand was visibly shaking.
" Who are you?" Temari shot back, rolling her eyes at the utter pathetic-ness of the girl, reaching calmly for her iron fan with a way smoother movement than that 'thing-in-green'. Sheesh, barging in where fifteen people were already there (in a wide open space too!), screaming her lungs out and then asking them who they were in a rude, arrogant way!
" I am the miko-in-trainee, Higurashi Kagome!" Kagome tossed her hair back, trying to scare them away. They were probably a just bunch of rowdy, untamed children from one of the nearby village. " So go back to where you came from and never return, or I'll shoot!" Ha! That should scare them! She placed Shippo gently down onto the ground and slotted an arrow clumsily into the bow. Her shaking hand pulling the bowstring did not help her image much.
That did not seem to be the right sentence to say however, because all of them stared back at her with the 'you are mentally unstable' face.
" I'm afraid you'll have to shoot then, miss." A boy with an ugly bowl cut hairstyle and green jumpsuit grinned apologetically while the others scoffed. " ' Cause we ourselves don't even know where we are and we can't return. Perhaps you could kindly tell us…?"
Oops, that was a really wrong thing to say, Kagome. " Fine! I don't really want to hurt you children, so I'll give you five seconds to scamper out of my sight, or else I'll… I'll… really shoot!" It looks as though she had missed the Lee's last sentence.
" Five!"
A few yawned and others started to shift impatiently.
" Four!"
" Look miss. We have seriously no idea where we are right now, so could you be a dear and give us directions?" a boy with red triangle markings grinned cheekily at her.
" Flattery won't work on me!" Kagome cried, but the cheeks were tinged with an awful shade of red, contradicting her words. A few more snorts could be heard, raging from disbelief to amusement to disgust. Kagome 'pointedly' ignored those. " Three!"
" Hey hey, Higurashi-san, was it? We asked nicely, so won't you help us out a bit?" A light blonde haired girl wearing purple whined and slouched over, just as restless as the rest.
" It's too late to remember your manners now, little girl! I said scram, so do it! Or I'll shoot!" Kagome yelled, determined to keep up her 'stern' front. Her arms were shaking from trying to pull the bowstring back for so long. Ino snorted at being addressed as 'little girl'. Besides, her tone wasn't polite; it was supposed to be insolent.
" Hey! Like what Ino just said, we asked nicely, so help us out already, you miko wannabe!" A blonde boy dressed in orange yelled and stamped his foot angrily, patience having reached their limits. " You OLD HAG!"
Kagome's blush deepened further, but now because of anger. Old hag? Her? That's it, kid's gonna get it. " ONE!" She fired her arrow, but didn't put any spiritual energy with it. The arrow flew and hit a bored, unmoving Naruto on the forehead, who didn't even twitch on impact. The flimsy arrow cracked into two and dropped down onto the ground.
" What?" He asked, prodding the useless stick with a toe. " Was that supposed to hurt or something?"
" What? It should've hit!" Kagome cried.
" Yeah it did." Naruto rolled his eyes. " Only thing that it hit my forehead protector." He pointed to the slab of metal covering his forehead, shining in broad daylight. "Are you blind or something missy? Cause I'm pretty sure that my bangs aren't that long until they hide the shiny metal piece from view…are they?" He turned around to ask the others.
" No…" Kiba said. " But I think she's mentally retarded or extremely stupid, 'cause she's just missed out number two. And her archery's so bad, it's not anything worth boasting about. Konoha, hell even Oto, has better archers." Akamaru barked his agreement.
'Owww…my ego has been ruined by a bunch of kids…' Kagome sorrowfully thought. And they still haven't gone yet. That was the worst part. No, she had a village to defend!
" H-Hmp! That was…That was just a threat!" She cried, still trying to preserve some dignity. " But seeing that you are all still kids, I was just going easy on you!"
" Kids?" Ino cried. " How old are you anyway?"
" I'm turning seventeen this year." Kagome boasted, proud that she was above fifteen.
" That's the same age as almost all of us." Ino said in a 'duh' voice, rolling her eyes in an exasperated manner. " Well, Neji, Tenten, Lee and Kankuro-san are already seventeen, and Temari-san is turning eighteen! So ha!"
" Baka! Stop giving out our ages so freely!" Sakura cried and smacked Ino on the head.
That led the girls into a furious squabble again. Kagome's jaws dropped. So she lost out is seniority this time. Big deal. But she'd better change topic soon. She felt like she was losing out in every debate. She should show them who's exactly in charge here.
" Hmp! But I'm still the village miko-to-be! So, have you seen Inuyasha around?" She asked, trying to make the question sound like a demand but failing miserably to get the desperate tone out of her voice. " He has white hair, two dog ears, is extremely brash and loud, and wears red."
The shinobi look at one another. Is a she nut? Kankuro decided to be the voice of the group. " You don't see any thing red, brash and loud over here do you? That thing, whatever it is, should be very, very obvious you know. Besides, we just arrived."
" Sonna…Inuyasha…are you really that angry at me…?" Kagome wailed. What a drastic change of mood. The shinobis just stood there, not knowing what they should do with this pathetic thing.
" Ermm…I think I saw something red…" Chouji finally spoke up and shifted a bit to pull out from under him a dead looking, utterly squashed Inuyasha, who had no strength left to even lift a finger.
" Oh my gosh! That is Inuyasha! What did you do to him?" Kagome cried and ran over to inflate the hanyou, glaring at the tubby boy who just shrugged.
" I accidentally sat on him. Sorry." Chouji said, opening a new pack of chips. " And he was really quiet, and you did say 'brash and loud', so I didn't think that was the one you've been looking for. But he did make a nice stool to sit on. Tell him thanks for me."
" So now that you've found your 'Inuyasha', can you tell us where the hell we are now?" Naruto whined. " Please?" He added for good measure.
Kagome only stuck out her tongue in reply. " No can do." Finally, the entire squabble can to the point where it was about to be blown up. Inuyasha woke up.
" WHO THE #ING HELL ARE YOU GUYS!" The hanyou cried, immediately drawing out his big, overused sword. " Step aside Kagome! Don't worry- I'll protect you!"
All the shinobi rolled their eyes. Oh, what a touching scene. Finally, the really ticked off emo boys couldn't stand the noise the red guy was making and decided to take charge of the conversation. In a flash, both Kagome and Inuyasha had kunais pointed dangerously to their necks. All noise there was before immediately stopped.
" Don't move, or your life gets it." Neji said, calmly holding a kunai close to the hanyou's throat. Inuyasha gulped. That movement alone made a small line of blood trickle down his neck. But that was apparently a wrong move, because as soon as Kagome saw that particular liquid ooze down her beloved, she started trashing, not caring if the kunai was held tightly to her neck at all.
" Don't move, you… absolute ninny!" Sasuke snarled out, being the unfortunate one to grab Kagome. He was trying hard to keep up with her movements, least he'd accidentally killed her. " Do you want to die?"
Kagome apparently, was not even listening to him. " Don't you dare touch Inuyasha!"
" Stop moving or I really WILL kill him." Neji said menacingly, trying to help Sasuke out. There. Now she'll definitely cool down. But apparently, for stupid people like Kagome, that method was unquestionably the wrong method to use to subdue stupid brainless people like her.
" NO! DON'T! INUYAAAASHAAAAAA!!" She yelled and wailed and trashed around even more, her pools of tears sogging up her captor's clothes.
" Eeew! Neji! Look what you did!" Sasuke cried, patting his wet sleeve with his free hand and glaring the Uchiha Death Glare at Neji. Who only shrugged in response. Angry that his favourite Uchiha shirt (not like there was any difference between this one and the other sets kept neatly in his wardrobe) were stained by the tears of the most-pathetic-girl-ever-alive, Sasuke pocketed his kunai and stomped off to brood in the forest.
" Hey! Come back!" Neji cried, trying to fend off an irritating Kagome while holding Inuyasha captive. Sasuke disinterestedly hand signaled an 'I quit' to him. " Shikamaru!" Neji half-pleaded, half-snarled at the lazy boy who was dozing away.
Shikamaru cracked a lazy eye open. " No."
" Shikamaru! Help. Me. Out!" Neji scowled out, trying his best to jyuuken Kagome to death.
" I have no obligations in helping you out." Shikamaru said. " And it'll be a waste of chakra. I don't have reserves like Naruto, you know."
" Neither do I, so just help." Neji frowned, realizing that reasoning would not work on Shikamaru. Since Shikamaru would outsmart him eventually without batting an eye. So he changed method. " Temari-san…would you be so kind to give me a little hand here?"
" Gladly." Temari said, removing her iron fan and towering over a suddenly wide alert Shikamaru. " Shikamaru. Go. Help. Out. NOW."
" …Fine." Shikamaru quickly scooted over and after a muttered 'kage mane no jutsu' later, he had immobilized Kagome. Finally, the integrations can start.
" Talk." Neji ordered, activating his byakugan partially to read their body movements to see whether they are lying and partially to scare the shit out of the two hostages. But the two of them remained resolute, biting their bottom lips and glaring defiantly. In a determined to act like they're determined not to crack too easily.
" If you don't talk I'll... I'll …" Neji pressed the kunai in deeper as he thought of what to say next. " I'll kill this red bedraggled looking mutt over here."
" NO! Don't kill my Inuyasha! I'll talk! I'll talk! What do you want to know?" Kagome wailed. She would have flailed wildly around too, but thankfully, her limbs couldn't move one inch because of Shikamaru's kage mane.
" You bloody idiot, Kagome! Don't say anything!" Inuyasha screamed. Neji pressed harder. More blood trickled down.
" This is the area of the warring states where youkai still exists The patch of land you area standing on is somewhere in the west of Japan. That well next to you is called the bone eater's well, where dead carcasses of demons are thown in there to be 'purified'." Kagome said all in one breath to the satisfied shinobi.. Inuyasha wailed in agony at the stupidness of his 'girlfriend'.
" Okay…so we got teleported into one weird place…" Ino said. " Yay us."
" Where's the village? We want to confirm that what you said is actually true." Neji said, in a half demanding tone. Inuyasha started screaming and screeching and trashing violently.
" NO! KAGOME! DON"T TELL THOSE GOODY GOODY BASTARDS OR I'LL!!-"
" Talk or I'll burst his windpipe." Neji said, knowing fully well that he can't do such a thing considering the kunai he held was half blunted. As did the others and Inuyasha too, but Kagome was to blind with horror and fear that she did not notice the extremely blunted blade. Hell, even the metal of the kunai was dull.
" It's at the west, not too far from here." Kagome said, her face streaked with tears. That made her look even grosser.
" Yes, it's there." Hinata quickly confirmed, having activated her byakugan long time ago. " It seems that we really are in the feudal area- the houses are still made up of wood and straw…"
" Nani?!" Kiba, Naruto, Lee, Sakura and Ino had clung onto Hinata in shock. " What did you see?" " Is the village dirty and filled it cow dung and icky tiny insects?" " Are any of the chakra signs unlocked?" " Are the boys there good looking?" " IS THE FIRE OF YOUTH BURNING WITHIN THIS PEACEFUL, EVER-SO-YOUTHFUL VILLAGE?" They were all shaking her so hard she broke her concentration and her veins reduced in bit, but the byakugan was still on.
" Don't crowd against her." Sasuke snapped at them, taking pity on the poor girl, having known what it's like to have girls (or in her case, people) clinging onto you and shaking you hard.
" Yeah. Don't cling onto her." Neji snapped, though still glaring at Inuyasha, who gulped once more under the glare of the overprotective cousin. " Especially you, you, and you." He poked Kiba, Naruto and Lee hard on their foreheads. " Get off my cousin."
" Sheesh." Kiba snorted as they all separated and went back to where they were standing before. " With the way you were acting, people would think that she's your girlfriend or something."
Neji didn't bother to reply verbally, but Kiba had to clutch his stomach painfully as he got a direct hit from Neji's jyuuken. Shikamaru slapped himself on the forehead and dragged his hand across his face, Kagome automatically doing the same, looking extremely shocked and disgusted as her dirty, mud filled hands smudged up her face.
" Stop fighting!" He said, exasperated and turned to Kiba. " And don't tell me 'he started it'. I'm not buying that." Kiba closed his mouth and pouted to the ground, because Shikamaru had just guessed what he was about to say.
" What 'tis goin' on 'ere?"
Everyone automatically turned to the source of the old, heavily accented voice. It came from an old, short portly woman, dressed in a large white kimono and a red hakama. At once, as soon as Kagome screamed " Kaede o-baa-san! Heeeelp!" and alerted the whole world that the old lady was in cahoots with her, Kaede too, had a kunai pointed to neck by Naruto.
" Okay, we've been through this before," Neji said, now sounding bored. " Who are you, what are those strange chakra signs above me and how do we get back, 'cause this world is nothing much worth staying in."
" I am Kaede, priestess of the nearby village, with whom those two belong to." Kaede nodded to the captured Kagome and Inuyasha. Kiba whistled appreciatively.
" Now that's more like a real priestess." He said to Kagome, tugging Kaede's cheeks and inspecting her clothes curiously. " See this, little girl? Straight to the point, no wishy-washy 'Inuyasha my darling!' and dressing up like a real one too, not the gross, panty flashy mini skirt off yours. Geez, I mean at least be considerate enough to wear pants inside!"
Kagome blushed a horrible red and started shouting at the top of her voice about how boys these days are all dirty minded and have no sense of modesty or privacy.
" Will someone shut her up?!" Temari, the most ill tempered of the girls screamed, and like everyone else who haven't got their hands tied, stuffed her fingers into her ears. Seeing as no one knew how exactly to shut her up without accidentally agitating her and increasing the screeching volume, Temari took the initiative and went for the most ruthless method available.
She plucked a bunch of innocent pretty looking daisies that were happily minding their own business and growing at the edge of the well and marched up to Shikamaru. Who at once knew he was going to be tortured, in one way or another. The shinobis, Inuyasha and Kaede watched in morbid fascination as Temari brutally stuffed the daisies into Shikamaru's mouth. The noise instantly abated as Kagome chocked on her own spit and opened her mouth wide, unable to close them because of the applied Kage Mane on her.
" Thank you." Temari said to Kagome, then turning over to shrug 'apologetically' at a glaring Shikamaru. " They were the only stoppers I could find in the vicinity." She explained to him nonchalantly. He glared accusingly back at her in reply.
" Back to topic." Neji called, brining everyone's focus back to him. " I have discovered that there are different creatures with green chakra, like those which are currently above us right now. Care to explain?"
Everyone looked up only to see a few worm-like demons flying past lazily. Their chakra was green, just as Neji described. The 'magnificent' scene was broken as a stray youkai dropping landed with a splat on Naruto.
" Hey!" Naruto cried angrily as he used the sleeve of his free hand to clean away the disgusting bits of poo off his face. " How dare you!!" He howled.
" Looks like someone just got pooped on…" Tenten grinned, but as soon as she said that, another youkai poop, courtesy to a passing youkai fell on her head. She immediately clamped her jaws and ducked her head and ran into the forest in embarrassment.
" Ignore my stupid teammate over there and answer my question." Neji snapped. Why do they always go off topic? Too many distractions.
" OH." Kaede said, snapping back to Neji. " Those are youkai, or demons. They are very common in our world, and the lesser ones could be treated something like pests and animals, but there are a handful of them who are very smart and powerful too. It is usually these smart ones who gives us the headaches."
Neji nodded, sage-like, as though the old miko's explanations explained it all. No, wait a second- it didn't. " So…humans have blue chakra and demons have green? If that's so, then that makes Sakura classified as an Akuma, right?"
" Yeah! That explains everything!" Naruto clicked his fingers as he put on his 'I have been enlightened' face. " No wonder she always acts so demonically and always brutally punch random people for no apparent reason! And, she has a real nasty temper too!"
" …NARUTOOOOOOOO!" Sakura screamed and dashed forwards and started throttling her teammate. Which made the kunai pointed at Kaede's throat quiver dangerously.
" …S-see what I m-mean?" Naruto managed to chock out. " Okay, y-you can s-stop it already, S-S-Sakura-chaaaan…"
" Sakura, cut it out, you might accidentally kill off the old lady Naruto is holding hostage…." Chouji sighed.
" Like hell I care!!" Sakura screamed. "Shannaroooo! You are so going to get it from me, Narutooooo!!
" Forehead girl, enough already. You're going to sprout pimples at this rate and then you'll really resemble an akuma…"
" Cool down Sakura, can't you even take a joke? Geez…"
" I DON'T FREAKIN GIVE A DAMN!" Sakura yelled monstrously. If one didn't know, one might mistook her for an uncontrolled jinchuuriki who looks as though she was about to burst from excess youki anytime soon. " Must…punch…insulter…" It looks like no one could stop her anytime soon, all of them wondering how long will Naruto manage to retain consciousness and stop Kyuubi from emerging and polishing her off for tea. Oh wait, they forgot someone who could…
" Shut up, you witless pathetic annoying girl. Or do you want me to katon you personally and reduce your miserable body into miniscule ashes, Sakura?" Came an antsy dark voice from behind. Sakura immediately spinned around to glomp the speaker, obviously too slow-minded to realize what the speaker had said.
" Oh, you said all that big words just because you actually cared for me right, Sasuke-kuuuuuun?" Sakura whined. She was immediately tossed aside like a feeble rag doll for that statement.
Sakuke inwardly snorted. He, the great and noble Uchiha, cares for someone as mindless as that? Masaka. " Don't fancy yourself too much, buffoon. I hate annoying girls like you. It was just for the sake of keeping the old woman alive so that we can gather some clues and find a way to return."
" Ha! As if we'll spill!" Inuyasha yelled, looking smug that they couldn't be killed. Not for now anyways.
" I believed that I said the old woman's life. However, you are disposable." Sasuke said disinterestedly, looking at his nails in boredom. " So shut up or the thing you'll spill to us is your own blood."
" Kill him and I'll…kill ye self!" Kaede threatened, now fully confident that her life was still valuable. " I'll bite off ye tongue so that thee may never get any information out off ye ever again!"
The shinobi looked at each other, as though people threatening to bite off their own tongues when captured was an everyday thing. Finally, Shikamaru spoked up slowly. " Well, we'll see how you do it…. with your body like this…."
To Kaede's horror, she found out that the shadow user had applied his kage mane on her. Chouji had replaced Shikamaru for the restrain of the green thing called Kagome. Those people were fast.
" Why don't you tell me you ye are first?" Kaede asked, stalling time. Surely the tweedy boy wouldn't have enough energy to keep his technique going for the entire day. It was still in the late afternoon. The shadows won't be extending too soon.
The shinobis looked at each other, wondering if they could tell this old baa-chan who exactly they were. Finally, Sasuke decided to be the one to monitor how much information to give out.
" We are Shinobis from Konohagakure, and we-" Kankuro cleared his throat loudly. Sasuke glared at the puppeteer for interrupting before continuing. " –And Sunagakure, and we got 'summoned' here by this moldy well from our homeland. Judging from the state this place is, I would think that this is somewhere in the feudal area…. so that means we have went back a century…or maybe two. Ahh…screw history."
" Yeah, yeah. And we don't know how to go back and it's all Sasuke's fault." Naruto joined in, not being able to stay out of this conversation for too long. He always had to have a final say.
" Funny, who was the one who fell into the well in the first place?" Sasuke shot back. " Remind me not to save your butt ever again, if this is what I get for repayment every single time."
" Funny indeed. And who had a glowing pink well in his own backyard and got so excited that he had to brag it to everyone?" Naruto countered, rolling his eyes. The two got into a large fist cum taijutsu fight which lasted several minutes before Sakura got the nerves to throw a small tree at Naruto. She missed, but got her point across. 'Hurt Sasuke-kun and you'll die'.
" So what year do you live in? 1118?" Kagome asked, now interested that similar people like her have managed to enter this plane. " Or judging from your clothes, maybe 1999? I believe those people still use knives to play with…"
" No you dolt." Sasuke rolled his eyes at her stupidity. " We're from the second millennium. Can't you see that our bags have zips?"
" Masaka!" Kagome laughed. " You're so…brutal, salvage and cave-man like, I would think that you're the ones who got your timelines mixed up. Besides, people nowadays don't go around sloshing their faces with purple paint and carrying large toilet-paper like scrolls, knives and an ugly looking katana like those- "
Sasuke glared at her evilly and angrily for cussing his sword. Kankuro butted into the conversation, partly because of the make-up part and because of describing his scrolls as 'toilet-paper like'. " In case you were deaf or something lady, didn't we say that we're Shinobi? We have hidden ourselves in another part of the globe so as not to come into contact with you foul-smelling, machine-loving apes that know nothing but screaming out your boyfriend's names in irritating sissy-like squeaks…"
" A self respecting miko like me do not squeak!" Kagome screeched, rivaling a vulture.
" Can I kill her?" Kankuro asked irritatably, rubbing his sore ears. " Oh, please let me kill her. Gaara?"
" No." Gaara said. " It seems that their lives are essential for making the old miko talk, no matter how depressing it may seem."
" Yes. It's very depressing." Kankuro sulked at his Kazekage cum brother. He went of to the side, muttering death curses underneath his breath, hoping that maybe Kagome would drop dead at one of them.
" So how on earth do we get back?!" Naruto screamed, truly frustrated now. " Dammit! Will somebody answer my freakin' question?!"
" Shut up, usuratonkachi! The same goes for all of us!" Sasuke yelled back. " You think we want to stay in this foul dump like you?!"
" Well…I don't know how exactly you came through here…but there's probably someone who 'summoned' you here." Kaede said thoughtfully, drawing everyone's attention. " That person is probably Naraku, the most foul smelling hanyou to ever cross these lands in a century. He probably wanted to use your power, considering Sesshoumaru had just wiped of half of his youkai army, and he's lacking on lackeys right now." Trust Kaede to blame everything on a poor, unsuspecting Naraku.
"So…we just have to find this 'Naraku' guy and extract information on him?" Kiba asked. " Yosh! So lets go!"
" Forget it. We too, have been hunting Naraku for two years now. He is very witty and extremely difficult to find." Kaede said calmly. " And note that it is not Naraku you want to find. It's the Shikon no Tama he carries with him that you need. That jewel alone can give it's bearer unimaginable powers, depending on how pure its user's intentions are. That also why Naraku is so powerful now. Because his intentions are anything but good."
" One moment please." Kiba hurriedly said, as Shikamaru signaled for a group huddle. "So what should we do?" Kiba said, shooting furtive glances at Kaede, scared that she would be able to hear what they were saying.
" I say we believe them. " Naruto said firmly. " I mean, just look at her! She's so harmless. All of them are. We can easily out power them whenever we want."
" Okay…. but I say we stand a better chance when traveling with them." Shikamaru said. " They know these lands better than any of us anyway."
" But it seems as though they want the jewel too." Kiba frowned. " And we need that thing to return us back. So I say that we leech on them and let them do all the work, then we snatch the jewel afterwards." At that, Kiba let out a loud bark of evil doggie laughter at his oh-so-fabulous plan.
" Sound fine by me." Neji agreed. " It's not like we're committed to them or anything. Okay, we'll act as their bodyguards for a while…for repayment for the jewel."
" That settles it." Sasuke said. He raised his voice and announced to everyone present. " We will help you on your search for this 'Naraku'. Besides, we want to have a little chat with him too, so grouping together will give us both benefits. We have power and you have information on him."
Inuyasha and Kagome gasped, wide eyed and started protesting loudly. But a firm 'Okay' from Kaede silenced their protests. Nodding, Shikamaru released Kaede, but kept both Inuyasha and Kagome firmly tied up. " Back to the village." He ordered lazily.
" I will not lead you there unless ye release them from their bonds." Kaede said, knowing that they are now somewhat more or less dependent of her.
" I don't think so, baa-chan." Neji said sarcastically. Hmp, we let her have a bit of freedom and now she's acting like she's boss? " I can clearly well see the village from here. You don't have to do the leading."
Kaede sulked. It looks like they're not completely dependent yet…
o be continued...Thanks for reading.