...Sorry for the long wait.
Saa... presenting the chapter you guys have been waiting for!
The oddities of two world: At Split Ends
Enjoy!
The trip back was uneventful, so to say the least. Neji was right at the front, leading the entire party, byakugan activated, and looking as though he was jumping into the feudal era for visits every single day of his life. The other shinobis were trailing after him, looking extremely bored as they observed their surroundings.
Quoting Shikamaru, mendokuse na… They were all supposed to be on vacation! Not trapped here, in a stinky low life place, with no independent methods to finding their way back… This, to the shinobis, basically sucked.
But of course, no one should be forgetting the three other people that they had accompanying them. " You stupid idiots! You brainless morons! You sissy pipsqueaks! What is the meaning of this?! No one, NO ONE treats Inuyasha-sama in this manner! I demand you to untie me at once!"
Bonk. The two 'bodyguards' for the feudal captives, two of the fearsome Sabaku no kyodai, Kankuro and Temari, bashed his head hard, smirking, as a satisfyingly loud crack was heard. The other shinobis looked longingly at Inuyasha who was now sporting a huge bump on his head, hands itching to add another.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!! INUYASHAAAAA!!!"
Bonk. " …Yakamashi!" Kankuro cried, he and Temari hitting Inuyasha yet again, since they couldn't hit Kagome without having to endure more screeches and wails, and since Kankuro announced that a proper gentleman like him couldn't hit girls. Of course, Temari and Gaara had snorted immediately, the former remarking that he sounded too much like a certain Nara for her liking.
Ignore that for now. The village was finally in sight. The shinobis stood there and gawked, not in awe, but in utter disappointment and horror at the swamp that the o-baa chan called a 'village'. Though Hinata had already described it to them, they didn't expect it to be this bad…they had a few paddy fields in their time too, since pruning them were usually in D-ranked missions, but none of them were this… untidy.
All sighing for probably the hundredth time that day, they made their way there, dragging their feet and effortlessly pulling their struggling captives as they did so. Hopefully, this miserable village would harbor more information about this Naraku guy, or the so called miraculous jewel, the Shikon no tama- that they planned to 'borrow' to return home, by the way.
" Kagome-chan! Kaede-obaa-san! Inuyasha! You're back!" Sango cried, running out of the hut the shinobis were heading to, Miroku following shortly. She stopped short as she eyed the shinobis warily, slowly getting into battle stances. The shinobis did the same, each reaching for their respective weapons.
" Stop! Do not attack them. They're our allies." Kaede said calmly, although the kunai that was placed at her throat didn't help in her statement much.
Naruto, her captor, thumped her reassuringly on the back, making the old miko stumble at the sudden force. " That's a good ol' miko!" He cried happily, though trailing off, muttering at the end. "Not like the other one…"
" Hey! I heard that!" Kagome cried hotly, struggling in her bonds, not realizing that ninja metal wires are simply unbreakable by brute strength. Not by her strength, at least. Temari and Kankuro simply just raised their fists and bashed a woozy but still unfortunately conscious Inuyasha in response, shutting her up. Ooh, that was sweet…
" You were meant to, baaaakaaaa!" Naruto shot back, giving her a cheesy grin.
" These ninjas will be assisting us in our search for Naraku," Kaede explained to Sango and Miroku. Naruto nodded proudly from behind her. " They wish to find Naraku, so that he may send them back, because he apparently summoned them here without a rhyme or reason." Naruto nodded smartly again, though his left eye was twitching. Half of it was true, but…they just wanted to snatch the jewel once it was completed…this 'Naraku' guy sounded rather incompetent to send them back…
" If you say so…" Sango said suspiciously, eying the too-cheerful-to-be-true shinobis, though she relaxed and scanned the group. " But Kagome-chan, where's Shippo?"
Kagome gasped. " Oh no! I forgot about him!" She turned to Neji was apparently the ' monitor' of the group. " Have you seen him?"
Neji stared unblinkingly and impassively down at her. " …Who's Shippo?" He finally asked.
Miroku and Sango gaped at him and Kagome promptly burst into tears.
" I'm…here…" came a muffled voice from inside Inuyasha's shocking red robes. Lee helpfully went to pluck him out, to reveal a rather squashed, tangled clump of hair or fur. " Need…air…"
" I found him!" Lee cried excitedly, inspecting the thing in his hands like a newly found toy. By inspecting, meaning juggling poor Shippo, waving him up and down, and turning him round and round like a ballerina doll. Shippo was as lightheaded as Inuyasha when Lee finally stopped.
" Shippo-chan!" Kagome cried, both she and Inuyasha released from their bonds since they were now the 'guides' for the shinobis.
" K-kagome…" Shippo mumbled disconnectedly. " I feel ill…"
" Oh you poor thing!" Kagome gasped. She immediately ran into the hut, grabbed a handful of bandages from her hideous yellow backpack, and wrapped them tightly against Shippo. Did I mention that she had used all of them? Yeah, that too. By the time she was done, Shippo resembled a chibi-fied mummy.
" Well anyway," Neji carried on, giving a weird glance at the walking mini- mummy, " The plan is to separate ourselves into groups- and continue the search from there. Traveling in this large a group is will make us very…noticeable. If we're in smaller groups, not only will it prevent that, but it'll also give us less land to cover. Are there any protests?"
Sango and Miroku glanced at each other. " No, not really…"
" I do!" Inuyasha cried.
" As do I!" Kagome cried.
" What is it?" Kankuro glared.
" Um…I don't know…" Kagome looked confused. " Inuyasha has problems, so I have a problem with that idea too."
" You…are a lovesick psycho!" Kankuro groaned. " I reeeeallly wanna kill you now…"
" What is the problem?" Sakura asked this time. " It's the best plan for our situation now, at least."
" Well…" Inuyasha took a moment to consider. " You might be backstabbing us…and with your strength, it might be an easy feat…" He said.
" How dare you say that!" Lee roared. " I'm Konoha's beautiful green beast, Rock Lee! Inuyasha-kun, I passionately swear on my honor of that title that I will never ever do such an un-youthful thing as that…"
" Lee! Shut up! I'll kill you!" Tenten screamed. And just when she thought she'd finally gotten rid of her irritating sensei…
" Enough." Neji snapped at his teammates. Noisy idiots… He turned back to Inuyasha. " The miko said she trusts us. What more do we need to do in order to prove that we are loyal?"
" Hmm…you could…leave us a hostage...." Sango finally spoke up.
"…" There was silence. Nobody wanted to offer himself or herself up as a hostage.
Finally, Sasuke bit his thumb, drawing blood. " Kuchiyose no jutsu." A medium sized purple colored snake appeared with a poof. " Will this be enough?" He asked blandly.
" You might not even miss it when it dies." Miroku pointed out the obvious, trying not to look surprise at the thing that had just came out of nowhere. Literally. "…" Oh crap. Brilliant idea, but could Sasuke convince the group?
Sasuke blinked. " Toshio, I love you. From the bottom of my black, soulless, emotionless, revenge-driven heart." He drawled. He petted the snake without much conviction or affection, much to the surprise and amusement of everyone. ' He actually did it…' Everyone thought, fascinated. " Is that enough?" He asked again.
" Um…"Miroku looked unsure.
"…" Apparently, Sasuke wasn't convincing enough. They were screwed. Not that it mattered much, but…
" Sasuke, you idiot! You're doing it all wrong!" Naruto rolled his eyes, but grinned at his friend's idea. Since he was the only other one who could summon without wasting precious chakra, he quickly tried to cover up for Sasuke's terrible acting. " Here, I'll show you how it's done." He repeated Sasuke's movements. " Kuchiyose no jutsu!" A brightly colored orange frog appeared this time.
Naruto scooped the frog up and plastered it with smooches and snuggles. " Izumi…I'm sorry to be doing this, but I'll have to offer you up as a hostage! You know I can't live without you, but in order to find that bastard Nara…Nara…Nara- whateverhisnameis-, Shikamaru's possible relative or whatever… I'm afraid this is the only way!" Naruto cried dramatically, somehow managing to force out a fountain of fake tears.
This time, every shinobi rolled their eyes.
" Yes." Sasuke said, sounding disturbed. Naruto continued on his all-too-obvious act in the background, still smothering the disgusted amphibian with kisses. "Is that frog enough?"
" I guess so…" Miroku mumbled, eye twitching. Even he was not that mad… Kissing a frog…
" Yosha!" Kiba cried happily. " Now we're all set! Naruto, hand that frog over!"
Naruto made a big fuss over it, screaming and wailing and bawling away as he hosted an excellent act of binding it up unwillingly- crying as he did so- and handing the group's 'hostage' over to a firm but also bemused looking Kaede.
" Bye-bye, Izumi…" Naruto called sorrowfully, sobbing on Kiba's sleeve and waving a white handkerchief. " I'll miss you…!"
" Dude, you're soaking my sleeve." Kiba said in shock and horror. How could anyone force out so many tears and not shrivel up and die of dehydration…?
" Anyways, back to the groupings." Neji said, not wanting to see any more drama. He hated drama. " Since our purpose of joining you guys is because of your knowledge of the terrains, so each of you will be the leader of one group. That means we'll have four groups."
" Wait. What about Shippo?" Kagome asked. She? Leader of an entire group of highly trained Shinobis? Woo-hoo! Nobody would try messing with her now!
" Remind me, which one is Shippo again?" Neji asked, looking perplexed.
" I'm Shippo!" The chibi mummy yelled, quivering in suppressed anger. " Will someone get these bandages off me?!"
"…Right." Neji said slowly. That thing is going to be pretty much useless in future battles…. " So which one of you will take the mummy…err…Shippo?" He asked the group.
" I'm not a mummy!" Shippo yelled from the ground, tangled up.
" A fluffy mummy then." Neji said. " So? Which one of you will take him?" What is wrong with this people? The shinobis always had to ask at least two or three times before they could receive an answer… Mattaku…
" Of course I will." Kagome said hotly. From there onwards, every shinobi fervently hoped that they would not be place in Kagome's group. A pathetic wimp and a puffball? Not only were they pathetic, they were pathetically annoying.
" So…Shikamaru will do the grouping…" Neji said, turning to Shikamaru.
" Why me? Mendokuse…" Shikamaru muttered under his breath.
" Because I'm going to hit you if you don't." Temari snarled.
" Fine, fine. You'll do that even if I didn't say anything anyway." Shikamaru snorted.
" What did you say?!" Temari growled.
" Nothing, nothing." Shikamaru said lightly. " Now, we'll need at least one tracker for each team in order to find Naraku, WHO BY THE WAY, IS NOT MY RELATIVE NARUTO, so team eight will definitely have to split up…Kiba…"
" Y-Yes…?" Kiba stuttered. 'Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome…' He silently begged.
" You'll go with Inuyasha-san."
" Yahoo!" Kiba yelled. " We're soooo lucky, Akamaru! A useless a guy, but still…"
" Hinata, you'll go with Sango-san."
" O-Oh, okay…" Hinata muttered in relief as several Shinobis groaned. Lucky her…
" Ino…you'll go with Miroku-san."
" Ehhh?" Ino cried. " Since when was I considered a tracker?! You asshole, Shikamaru! Getting me stuck with someone like…someone like…" She trailed off as she glanced at Miroku. The monk couldn't hide the lecherous grin on his face. Sango immediately delivered him a kick in the groin. " Kuso, Shikamaru!!!!" Ino howled, horrified. She got a freaking pervert in her group! " What about Neji? He has the byakugan too!"
" Don't worry, I'll let you have a friend in that group…troublesome woman…" Shikamaru muttered.
Ino brightened up considerably. " Okay. If Sasuke-kun is there, then I won't mind at all."
" Hey, since when did I become your friend?" Sasuke immediately shot back. Ino didn't get to answer because Shikamaru started talking again.
" That leaves us with Kagome-san's group…" Shikamaru muttered. Everyone tensed up. 'Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome…' Everyone thought. Shino and Neji, the two shinobis who were the most eligible for the post were drenched in cold sweat and edging away from the group. "…Shino…"
There was no reply. Shino somehow managed to hide himself at the back of the crowd.
" Shino!" Shikamaru said louder. " I don't care what you're saying, but you're going to Kagome-san's group."
" …I hate you." Came a quiet, eerie voice from the back of the cohort of relieved shinobi.
"I love you too." Shikamaru said blandly, satisfied that he got a reply. " Okay, now we're going to concentrate on the attacking teams, preferably one on defense and one on offense. For Inuyasha-san's team…"
" Hey! Gimme someone strong! We're going to kick ass!" Inuyasha called. He was apparently happy with Kiba.
" Hell yeah!" Kiba and Akamaru cheered.
" Naruto on offense and Gaara on defense." Shikamaru sighed. This was going to be one noisy team…he pitied the Kazekage, but…Naruto was the only one who complimented Gaara …
" Alright!" Naruto yelled back, grabbing Gaara and going to join Kiba and Inuyasha. Besides rather swollen and puffy eyes, Naruto showed no signs of having been wailing loudly. Gaara looked at his team in silence, eyes narrowing. You could feel his annoyance and bloodlust from a good three meters away.
Shikamaru quickly turned away from the two jinchuurikis. " …Right. Now, for Miroku-san's team…"
" Sasuke-kun! Don't be shy, come here already!" Ino yelled.
" From what I heard, Miroku-san works best with girls, so…Sakura, you're on defense and Tenten, you'll be on offense."
" You heard wrong." Tenten said in annoyance as she and Sakura huffily stomped over there, muttering curses at their horrible fate.
" What is this?!" Ino shrieked in horror at her teammates. " Why did I get forehead girl and six-buns(Go figure.)?! Shikamaruuuuuuuu! Where's my darling Sasuke-kuuuuun?! You said you'll give him to me!"
" I told you you'd get a friend, not Sasuke." Shikamaru told his teammate irritably as the Uchiha heaved a large sigh of relief. Miroku's drool was dripping out of his mouth in uncontained pervertism. He was obviously happy with his group mates. The three girls took a look at him and cringed in disgust. Sango bonked him hard on the head with her Hiraikotsu. Shikamaru grimaced. That scene looked a little too familiar for comfort to him… he decided that he was not going into Sango's team." Now for Kagome-san's team…"
The remaining Shinobis tensed. 'Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome… Don't let me get Kagome…' Everyone mentally cried.
" Neji, you're on defense." Shikamaru said at last." Don't think I'll let you off easy. Sasuke, you're on offense."
" Damn!" The two boys cried at the exact same time. They shuffled depressingly to Shino and Kagome.
" Join the club." Shino said, though sounding happy that the two also ended up here.
Kagome meanwhile, was beside herself with smugness and joy. 'I got the two pretty boys under me!' she mentally squealed. 'All three look strong, and all are hot to boot!'
" Sorry guys." Shikamaru said amiably, not sounding sorry at all. " But because of err…Kagome-san's lack of…everything, you'll be needed to make up for it.."
" I figured as much." Sasuke said sulkily. " But I'm still not happy."
The three of them looked at Kagome, who now sported hearts in her eyes. They gulped and took a step back. The shinobis in Miroku's group howled in anger at Kagome. Inuyasha did the opposite of them- he howled in anger at the three boys, while his group members- excluding Gaara- pointed and laughed at their respective teammates and Neji.
" Finally, for Sango-san's group…" Shikamaru looked at the two girls standing awkwardly there. Too much girls! Nope, definitely not the group for him. " Temari, you're on defense, and Lee, you'll be on offense. The rest will remain in the village as possible backups."
" What?" Temari cried. " Wait, what's with this group?"
" You got a problem?" Shikamaru questioned lazily.
" Yes! I don't fight combos with bowl-cut over there well." She told him angrily. " I'd blow the enemy away before that green thing even reaches them. I should be on offense."
" …Fine. Then we'll ask the taijiya who she wants to stay instead." Troublesome women…always complicating the situation…
" Why must someone stay behind?" Chouji asked.
" Like I said, for potential back-ups and also to protect the village from danger. And also to help out if possible. " Shikamaru explained. " Something like a treaty, 'cause I'm quite sure some of you guys haven't trusted us enough yet…" He glanced at Sango, who blushed at being caught but still stood resolutely at her spot.
" Okay…" Chouji said. " So Sango-san, which of us do you want?"
" What are your attacks?" Sango asked. " I'll see which of you are more compatible with mine."
" Temari uses wind manipulation." Chouji explained. " Her brother, Kankuro controls puppets. I can increase the size of any part of my body, and Shikamaru controls the shadows and is the best in strategy amongst us."
" Oei, Chouji, if you portray me in that way…" Shikamaru whined.
Sango blinked. Hmm… From what she calculated, the Temari girl will be very useful against Kagura… " Temari on offense and Shikamaru for defense." She said firmly.
" …I'll get chosen." Shikamaru finished lamely and sighed. Stuck with a bunch of girls…again…Temari gave him a large and evil grin as he slouched over to join them.
" Looks like I'm the leftover here, stuck in the village as a go-between with…" Kankuro glanced at his teammates. One munched on chips and the other was shouting incomprehensible stuff. "…A weirdo and a… 'pleasantly plump' ninja...and…"
" You'd better prepare yourselves, you three." Kaede called out cheerfully. " I will be working you to your deaths, see. There are lots of maintenances which needs to be completed in the village." She chuckled and still plotting on what she could do with the three leftover ninjas, headed back into the hut.
" …Stuck doing crappy manual work. What did I do to deserve this?" He groaned.
" At least you're not stuck with three loudmouths." Gaara said irritably at the sight of a screeching monkey and two dogs behind him. He turned around. " Be silent!" He hissed.
Kankuro spared a pitiful glance at Gaara. " Point taken. Good luck, otouto." He snickered. His little brother only grumbled In annoyance.
"…Right. We'll leave immediately." Shikamaru said. " The plan now is spread out across the land to search for Naraku. Anyone who confirmed about his whereabouts, send a message to the rest. There is at least one who can summon in your group, right?"
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Temari nodded.
" Okay. We'll all regroup at that spot then. And don't forget to send a report back at least once a week- and receive the other groups' reports too. Of course, you three will be in charge of accumulating the reports."
" Of course, Shikamaru-kun!" Lee saluted. " I will do this job to the best of my abilities! I see that you are very youthful, so I shall make this passionate promise with you! If I fail to keep up the promise, then I'll do one thousand push ups without the usage of my arms and legs and twenty thousand sit ups-"
" Okay, okay, I got your point. Shut up." Shikamaru groaned.
" How are you going to do err… a thousand push ups without using your limbs?" Ino snorted.
" Like this!" Lee enthusiastically replied and immediately propelled his body into a vertical position, gave himself a thrust backwards and started blowing at the ground underneath him. Everyone watched amazed as Lee did his pushups as he said he would…by blowing himself up and down. It was…amazing.
" If he keeps that up, he'll be flying in the sky soon." Neji muttered. Everyone else continued gaping. Everyone else meaning: Inuyasha, Kaede, Miroku, Sango, Kagome and Shippo.
The other shinobi were however, diverting their attention towards Naruto, who was trying to do the same thing, only to get a cloud of dirt coating his entire face and getting into his mouth. "KUSO!" He yelled. Sasuke had his face in his hands, shaking his head in embarrassment, as close to a nervous breakdown as any Uchiha could be, namely, nowhere near.
However, for once, Sakura saved everyone by dragging Naruto to his feet and smacking him hard on the head. "Baka! What are you doing? Don't embarrass our village infront of strangers!" She screamed, tugging her pink locks in fury.
"Demosa, demosa, why can Lee do it if I can't?" Naruto questioned, cerulean eyes opening wide, blinking innocently.
"Because he actually CAN do it?" an annoyed Sakura replied.
Everyone sighed simultaneously. "Okay!!! Enough with the stupidity. Can we go now?" Twenty, sorry, I mean, Tenten cried impatiently.
Lee bounced up "Goodbye my youthful companions! May the flames of youth light your way!" He began waving dramatically. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Er. Yeah. Bye Lee. Bye Kankuro. Bye Chouji." Kiba said warily, seemingly worried for Lee's sanity. With that, all the shinobi sped off, leaving Kagome and Shippo standing abandoned in the middle of a clearing, leaves drifting down around them.
"Eh? What about us? Matte, hot shinobi guys!! Your dearest Kagome-chan is coming!!" She cried and began running off in the wrong direction.
Ah well. You can't expect everyone to be bright, can you?
We're late. Yes, we know. And this chapter isn't exactly very long either. SO THEREFORE, we have added a special OMAKE! YAY!
*OMAKE SPECIAL 1!*
PSST…Ever wondered why we called this chapter so? Well…
Uchiha Sasuke stood, in the center of the cohort of Shinobis, still and unmoving. His long front bangs covered his eyes, shadowing them, an evil and mobid and depressing aura encasing his person. Everyone sensed the emoness and stopped in their tracks to look at him.
" Guys… I changed my mind. I don't think I'll be going anymore."
Everyone exploded at him.
" But SASUKE-TEME! I know you're pissed with having your two emo friends on your team and having to fight for your emo space and emo time, but really-"
" It's not that, usuratonkachi."
" Sasuke. Don't tell me you're just being pansy about having The Most Pathetic Girl Alive as your team leader-"
" It's not about that either, stupid."
" Then what-"
" I- I-" Sasuke stuttered, holding out a clenched fist. The shinobis squinted hard and saw a strand of hair dangling from it. "I- I have- S-S-SPLIT ENDS!" Sasuke yelled, shaking, and clutched at his oh-so-precious Uchiha styled hair. " NOOOOOO!!!"
Everyone groaned and resisted the urge to smack the Uchiha on the head.
*END OF OMAKE*
… Just kidding. There's another more obvious reason for the chapter title. Still, we hoped that you had enjoyed it, and leaving a review on your way out is also greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your support.
...Look forward to the next chapter? XD