I'm back! A big thank you to Slipping Sanity, Feathers of Fire, Akaiama, silent dreams, Lryikkal, Dark Kaiser, yo tadaiima, Baby Sweet, WhisperingNights, Susi/Sam, cajun-beauty, Lady-Nikki and princessezzy for reviewing!!
I know it's been a really ridiculous length of time - forgive me! I'm here now! And I bring a chapter!
With a grunt, Kai rolled away from the older man and forced himself upright. His head swam and he grabbed hold of the wall to keep himself vertical. Hiro watched him with mild curiosity.
"Do you want a hand, Kai?" he asked casually. Kai scowled and raised his hand to show him exactly what he thought about that offer.
"Go to hell, Hiro!" he snapped, his speech dissolving into a bout of coughing. Shaking his head rapidly to try and clear it and succeeding only in increasing his headache even further, he stumbled over to his desk. Grabbing his coat and laptop, he shoved past Hiro; or tried to. To his disgust, he felt Hiro's hand slide under his shirt, a smirk on the older man's handsome face. He pulled away so violently that he nearly fell again. "Get the hell off me!" he demanded hoarsely, his eyes watering with the desire to cough. With a thin smile, Hiro moved backwards, giving him a hard push.
"Get going then." he ordered. Kai glared at him, mentally promising to sort this out later, and walked out with as much dignity as he could muster.
Which wasn't much.
He crawled into his car and sat heavily in the driver's seat like a sack of potatoes. His eyes closed of their own accord. Just a few minutes, he promised himself weakly, just long enough to clear his head…think up a plan to get back at that smug, cocky bastard…
Feeling a little better when he woke up three hours later, he rubbed his sticky eyes and turned the key in the ignition. The little car started with a protesting splutter and he swore softly, willing it to work. He didn't fancy being stuck at school overnight. Besides - an important fact, this - all his painkillers were at home. If he could call that poky little dump home.
He got out of the car, wincing at the pain in his head and silently wondering how on earth he had driven back without crashing. Not that he was complaining.
----
Two hours later, he sat at the kitchen table, staring blearily at a pile of thirty maths books. That was the only problem with teaching every single subject; the amount of marking was horrendous. And he just … oh, he couldn't cope with it tonight. Standing, he went into the lounge and stretched out on the sofa.
Someone was banging on the door with quick, urgent knocks. Groaning and cursing, Kai sat up , pulling a face at the utter dryness in his mouth. He stood and walked listlessly to the front door, yanking it open. A gust of cold, rain-laden air blew in.
"What?" he growled thickly, his dry mouth and tongue making speech difficult. Almost as soon as the word left his mouth, his eyes focused on the small, soaked, bedraggled figure of Max Tate. "Why are you here, Max?" he grumbled, leaning against the doorframe.
"I-I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but it's … Ray." Max trailed off, his large blue eyes suddenly brimming with tears. Kai raised an eyebrow. "He's cutting … and he won't stop … and - and … you stopped me … so …" Those tears were flowing freely now, but the boy's face was so wet already that it made no real difference to his appearance. Kai sighed.
"Max, I feel like shit. If Ray wants to slice himself to pieces, then he can just go ahead and-" He stopped. Max was waving his hands around frantically, not signing, but trying desperately to say something.
"B-but that's what he's doing!" he cried eventually. "There's blood everywhere!" Worry sparked in Kai's mind.
"You're the expert in this, Max." he said flatly. "Has he gone too far?" Max nodded madly.
"Yes, but it's not suicide, I'd know, he just won't stop!" His surprisingly deep voice rose an octave higher in pure panic.
"Okay." was all Kai said. Swinging inside, he flung on a waterproof coat, grabbed his mobile phone, and downed a glass of water. Feeling slightly more human, he shut the door behind him and looked down at Max. "Where?" he asked simply. Max's face broke into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on anyone, and he started running. Kai followed, swearing mentally as the cold, damp air tore at his painful throat.
----
Blood dripped down tanned skin, mixing with the rain to create a dull red sheen over his arms. Ray worked steadily. A small pen knife held in his hand, he gouged it into his skin, watching with satisfaction as red seeped out of the wound. It hurt, they all hurt; it felt like his skin was on fire with pain, but that was good. Only two things could make him feel at all these days; this, and Max. Otherwise, he was numb. Emotions didn't exist anymore.
Max… Where had he gone, anyway? The blade sank a full inch in, and a hiss of pain forced itself out. Ray shuddered, then composed himself. If he was truly doing the right thing, he would keep it going, grind it in until it hit bone then wriggle around to find an artery. But he couldn't. He couldn't leave Mariah to his step-father.
Lee was an expert in getting away, and, failing that, could floor the older man with a few well-aimed punches, but Mariah was virtually defenceless. He wouldn't leave her. He could stand the paedophile's advances through years of experience, but it would destroy his sister.
He couldn't leave.
He wouldn't leave.
He was just … testing.
Suddenly, a blond blur appeared in front of him. Squinting, trying to focus, he saw that it was Max. Ray smiled weakly.
"Hey, Max …" He was surprised at how feeble his voice was. Surely he hadn't lost that much blood? Another blur hovered a little further away. This one took a lot more blinking to see clearly, and it was a shock when he could. "Sir?" The teacher stepped forward, one pale hand outstretched.
"Give me the knife, Ray." His voice was scratchy, hoarse. Ray blinked and shook his head slowly. "It's okay, Ray. You've got Max now, haven't you?" Ray paused, the thought struggling through his slow-moving brain. Yes, he had Max. He turned to his boyfriend and held out arms that dripped and ran with blood and rain. Max moved toward him, then stopped, his face a picture of misery.
"I can't." he signed unhappily. "I'll hurt you." Ray looked at him in total incomprehension.
"Good." he said at last. He tried to move towards Max, but even the slight movement made him hopelessly dizzy. As if the sight of Ray almost fainting had set something off inside him, Max closed the gap between them, and with only the slightest hesitation, wrapped his arms around him.
"It's okay, Ray." he whispered, his hair soft against Ray's damp cheek. Ray closed his eyes and let his grip slacken around the knife. It fell to the floor with a clatter. The dizziness hadn't gone away; even with his eyes shut it still felt as though the world was spinning. "Ray? You okay?" Max asked softly.
"I'm ... fine ..." he murmured. He yawned widely.
"Sleepy?"
"Yeah ... sleepy ..." The dull blur of the world turned black.
----
With much swearing and bruised arms and knees, Kai and Max hauled the unconscious teenager onto a nearby bench. Panting, his throat burning with every breath that he took, Kai leaned heavily on the bench, an idea forming in his mind.
"Max, how good would you say you are at acting?" Max gave him a confused look. "If I ring the ambulance and say that we just found him like this, would you be able to back me up?" he elaborated. Max's face cleared, and he nodded.
"No problem." he signed, closing his eyes and shaking his head diagonally, sweeping one hand in front of him.
"Good." Kai flipped his phone open and dialled 999.
----
I looked at Ray's sleeping form. I'd been doing nothing but looking at him for the past two hours, but this was a different look.
"Got to go, Ray," I signed. Standing up and wincing at my sore joints, I left the room.
Wandering down the corridors in a daze, I nearly walked into Ray's step-father, who snapped out a contemptuous "Watch where you're going!" without even looking at me, and barrelled past.
I didn't know if I could do this anymore. Ray was out of control.
God, that hurt to admit, but it was true. Tonight was only an example of how little I mattered to Ray, compared to the pain inside him. He was on suicide watch, for fuck's sake! What did that say?
I could have told them otherwise, told them that he wouldn't commit suicide ... yet, but they'd probably take one look at me and think we had some kind of sick suicide pact or something.
Suddenly, my brain registered the collision I had just had. Ray's step-father.
Just what he didn't need, that paedo starting on him, telling him he's a useless little emo-fuck and stuff.
Sometimes, times like these, I wonder; why the hell don't I tell someone?
And then I remember.
I remember who he is, I remember who I am.
And I stay quiet.
----
"You ok?" A hoarse voice made me jump, and I turned to see Sir looking at me. I nod.
"Why are you still here?" I asked curiously. He shrugged.
"I needed to check everything was ok." His voice was so raspy, it hurt my throat to hear it.
"It is." I assured him.
"Are you ok, Max?" Something in the way he was asking me made something inside me snap. Maybe it was the way that he sounds serious.
Maybe it was because he was looking straight at me when he said it. At me, not my wrists.
Whatever it is, suddenly I was there, or he was here, and we were hugging so tightly I could feel my ribs shifting slightly. We were silent - no meaningless, cliched phrases like "It's Ok," maybe because we both knew they were a load of shit.
"You've got a cold." I murmured at last, my voice muffled, my face pressed into his shoulder. "You should be at home."
"I know I shouldn't be doing this; does that count instead?" I looked up and looked at him.
For the first time, I really looked.
----
I saw someone not that much older than me. Taller, no doubt stronger, and mentally stronger too. But still. Twenty wasn't old. Twenty was barely even adulthood.
His strange eyes were half-closed, his face was drawn and tired, with a comically red nose taking centre stage.
He wasn't Sir anymore, in that moment. He was Kai. He was human. And he was ill.
"Go home." I whispered.
"No." he replied, though I thought it was more likely to be an automatic reaction than a sincere refusal.
I swallowed. This was not a time to let hormones take control! But dammit, he was so, so sexy ...
----
Kai saw the look in Max's eyes change from concern to something very far from that, and knew he had to go, right now, or he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He had already made a horrible mistake, he couldn't take it that step further.
"You've got Ray, Max. And I've got books to mark." Max's eyes clouded and he nodded slowly.
"Ok."
For now ... they both whispered, deep in an unseen hole in their minds.
Well, I hope you like it. I was going to discontinue this, as some people know. But I received at least three reviews or PMs begging me not to. So I have obeyed.
This fic deals with emotions I don't have, incredible OOCness, and unrealistic situations, as far as Kai being a teacher goes. In short; I'm the last person who should be writing this. But if I'm still doing a good job, please tell me. It means a lot.
See you next chap!