Part TWO
It was 7.23 in the evening and although it was only May, it was already quite dark outside. Obviously the sun was having a strop as it had hardly been seen all day. Instead the sky was crammed full of rainclouds, from which many droplets seemed to suddenly launch themselves at the windows of the Tug Ghyll residence.
"Bloody weather!" shouted it's occupant, as the girl scrambled to close her bedroom window.
After looking up the road for a few moments, she closed her curtains and walked over to her wardrobe, and stood there hands on hips, head cocked to one side, contemplating what to wear.
--
It had been a long day for Debbie as work had started to pile up at the garage, not that she was going to complain, she needed the money after all, but the past week she'd been finding it increasingly hard to concentrate. Her mind kept drifting ahead to tonight, her eyes constantly clock watching. At 4.03 she sighed heavily, she could've sworn it should've been at least 4.30 by now, and decided to give up for the day, figuring she wasn't getting much done anyway so she might as well go home and get herself ready.
"Oi, muppet!"
"Hmm?" Daz muttered poking his head from under the bonnet.
" 'ere, lock up for us." she said, tossing him the keys. "I've had enough for the day, and don't you leave early either, I'll be checking."
"yeah yeah" he sighed, not pushing things too much knowing he was still in Debbie's bad books for screwing up the order last month. He was surprised she had stayed this late, as she'd hardly done anything all day. He kept catching her sitting in a daze with a lazy smile on her face and Debbie had caught him looking at her a couple times, promptly snapping at him to get back to work.
"Bright 'n' early monday morning, right?" she said as she made her way out the door.
---
Just over 3 hours had now passed, Debbie had tidied round the house, had herself a nice long soak and was now rooting around in her wardrobe, tossing clothes onto the bed.
She picked up a top and placed it with a pair of trousers, standing back for a moment before a furrowed brow emerged on her face. Then she replaced the trousers with a skirt, once again standing back, she tutted to herself and replaced the top with another. This little routine continued for several more minutes.
"Oh for fucks sake, you never used to have this much trouble getting dressed!" she shouted, frustration in her voice, as she unceremoniously plonked herself down onto the bed, arms outstretched.
Why was she letting herself get so wound up about this? She was only having a friend stop for the weekend, that's all. No big deal.
She closed her eyes.
Who was she kidding? This was a big deal, it was actually a very big deal to her, so much so that she had hardly been able to think of anything else all week.
It wasn't just any friend coming to stay.
It was Jasmine.
----
Since the day when Debbie and Jasmine had met, they'd called each other often, but for one reason or another they hadn't been able to see each other. If Debbie wasn't inundated with work at the garage then Jasmine was snowed under with course work and revision. But the last time they spoke Debbie bit the bullet and invited Jasmine to come visit for the weekend, convincing her a change of scenery would do her good and that if it made her feel better she could always bring her books with her. She expected Jasmine to decline, thinking it too close to the end of her uni studies for her to go away for a weekend, but was overjoyed when her offer was accepted, excited at the thought of getting to spend some time with Jasmine again. Debbie's eyes snapped open as she realised that Jasmine could arrive any minute and she still had to get herself ready. She got up and looked back at all the clothes strewn across her bed, after thinking for a minute, she picked out the very same top and trousers she'd chosen the first time round and continued to get changed.
--
Debbie was adding the finishing touches to her eyeliner when there was a loud knock on the door.
She froze.
Her insides felt like they had just decided to keel over all at once. She was here.
Taking a deep breath, Debbie quickly finished off and looked herself up and down in the mirror.
"Hmm...not bad, even if I do say so myself."
The wind launching yet another platoon of raindrops at her window snapped Debbie out of her self appreciation along with the hammering on her front door.
"Shit!" she muttered, as she raced downstairs to let her friend in.
Opening the door, she beamed as her eyes fixed on Jasmine. She was over the moon to see her again after all this time.
"Erm Debs, I'm getting flippin' soaked here!"
"Oh, sorry yeh, come in" Debbie said hurriedly, stepping to one side allowing Jasmine to pass, before closing the door and following her into the living room.
"Here, let me take that" said Debbie, taking Jasmine's holdall and putting it by the bottom of the stairs.
Turning back to face Jasmine she chuckled.
"Jesus, you look like you swam 'ere."
"Thanks for that Debs" Jasmine replied with a sarcastic smile on her face, as she unbuttoned her jacket.
"Debs I'm just gonna go get changed if that's ok, these jeans are all clingy 'n' horrible now from the rain. We're staying in tonight right? Not going anywhere later are we?"
"Nah not going out in this weather, besides I figured you might be tired after driving here straight from Uni, unless you want to go somewhere?"
"No, it's cool, I was just asking so I know what to change into. Ok won't be a minute, where's your bathroom?"
"First door on the left, there's towels in the airing cupboard if you need one."
"Thanks."
---
Not long after, Jasmine was drying her hair as she made her way back down the stairs.
She watched as Debbie grabbed some cushions, placing them infront of the now lit fire before turning to face her.
"Aw look at you in your PJs" she teased, gesturing for Jasmine to come join her.
"Oh shush" Jasmine replied walking over, gently whipping Debbie's side with her towel. "I just didn't see the point in changing into another set of clothes when I'm gonna have to change into these later anyway."
Debbie smiled at her. "Right then lady, what would you like to drink? You can be boring and have a tea or coffee, or you can join me in a glass of wine, I have red and white as I didn't know which you preferred."
Jasmine scrunched up her nose in the terribly endearing way that she does, whilst she thought.
"Hmm...I like both, but I'd love a glass of white please."
"Excellent choice m'lady" Debbie chuckled. "Now sit your bum down and get warm. So how was the drive, did you manage to find the place alright?"
"Well I'm here aren't I?" Jasmine said as she sat on the cushions, resting her elbow on the coffee table and placing her chin in her hand.
Debbie raised an eyebrow at her.
"Smart arse. You know what I mean. Did you get lost or was it a smooth journey?"
"Nah, it was fine, there was just one bit where I took a wrong turn, but I blame my little talkie thing for that."
Debbie laughed as she popped the cork. "Your what?"
"You know, those little talking maps in a box, thingies" she said, waving her hands about as if it helped explain better.
"Oh you mean sat-nav, like those Tom-Toms?"
"Yeah, but mine was cheap, so it's probably a Tim-Tim instead" Jasmine replied with a goofy grin on her face.
"Hmm..oh yeah, the Tim-Tim-Nice-But-Dim model" Debbie mocked, handing Jasmine her glass as she sat next to her.
Jasmine laughed at that and sipped at her wine.
"Mmm, lovely. I needed that."
"You warming up now?" Debbie asked, casting an eye over her.
"Yeah, toasty now thanks."
"Oh, I almost forgot."
Debbie took Jasmine's glass and placed it with her own on the coffee table. Jasmine watched her with a bemused expression etched on her face.
"Forgot what?"
Debbie smiled at her friend.
"To say hello" she said softly, leaning forward giving Jasmine a warm hug.
Jasmine chuckled at this, thinking it really sweet, and wrapping her arms round Debbie in return.
"Hello...you numpty" she said as she felt Debbie giggle against her.
"...allo." Debbie replied as she gave her a little squeeze.
-------
The girls had nearly polished off the bottle as they had sat together catching up on what they'd gotten up to since seeing each other last. Debbie topped up Jasmine's glass with the last of the wine.
"Bugger, now look, you've only gone and drinked all my wine, you alcofrolic you." Debbie blurted out, slurring slightly.
Jasmine gasped, "...the cheek!"
"S'ok, I got more" she said with a wink. "Hmm, maybe we should've eaten first, are you hungry? Sorry I'm crap I didn't think. I can order us something? I would offer to cook, but I figured you might want to live through tonight." she grinned.
"Hah! no, takeaway sounds good to me. Dig out some menus and I'll be right back, just need to nip to the bathroom."
"Ok. Oh Jas?"
"Hmm?"
"You'll have to make do with the toilet, I don't have a bush for ya I'm afraid." Debbie said smirking as Jasmine walked upstairs.
"Oh ha de ha ha"
------
The twosome were now nearing the end of their third bottle as they finished enjoying their pizza.
"God, I'm pogged!" Debbie said as she lay flat out on the floor.
Jasmine, now sat against the sofa, chuckled as she watched her friend.
"Well you did insist on us having the large one with practically everything on it." she teased as she gently nudged the other girls tummy with her foot.
"Ugh, don't Jas. Seriously, I might explode, which would not be pretty. The colours would clash with the walls 'n' everythin'."
Jasmine laughed out loud at that.
"N'aww is poor Debbie Dingle suffering?"
"I'll make you suffer in a minute, if you don't stop takin' the piss." the corner of her mouth secretly betraying her inner amusement.
"Ooooh." Jasmine mocked "oh please stop Debs, you'll have me quakin' in my PJs." she continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she laughed at her friend.
"You can laugh Jasmine, but you're so goin' to regret saying that. Trust me."
"Yeah yeah. Where's the wine gone?"
"There you muppet." said Debbie, pointing with her foot, then watched as Jasmine topped her glass up.
"Err, what about me?"
"I thought you were pogged?" Jasmine teased.
Debbie immediately sat straight up.
"No no no, never too pogged for wine, me." she said, waving her glass infront of Jasmine's nose. "Now top me up."
With the biggest smile on her face, Jasmine did as she was told.
"...Jas?"
"Yes Debs?"
"I really shouldn't have moved that fast."
--------
While Debbie had gone upstairs to 'sort herself out' as she put it, Jasmine was taking in her surroundings. Standing up she cast her eyes over the photos that were on display on the mantelpiece.
There was one of Debbie, younger than she is now, possibly 13 or 14 she guessed and she was with a blonde woman, not particularly old looking. Jasmine looked from Debbie's face to the mystery woman to try and make out any resemblance, but not really seeing any she put the photo back in it's place.
Her eyes were then drawn to another photograph. Debbie was older in this picture, wearing a pink hoodie, and it looked as though it was fairly recent judging by Debbie's face, but this time she was with the most adorable little girl, also blonde. Debbie hadn't really spoken about her family Jasmine realised, and she wondered if her friend's family were half as crazy as hers were. Maybe it was the blonde woman's daughter she pondered, focusing her attention back on the picture. Replacing the photo, and sipping on her wine, she walked around towards Debbie's bookcase. Her eyes running along the shelves, until she came across a collection of cds.
'Oh this should be interesting.' she thought, placing her glass on the table.
She rolled her eyes as she saw the name Kelly Clarkson and took the cd out of it's place, looking it over. Smiling to herself, she went to put it back when something caught her eye.
Hiding behind the row of cds, there had been two more tucked away. Jasmine's jaw dropped slightly, as she moved some of the cases, picking up the two hidden at the back. She turned to look at the top of the stairs where Debbie had gone, a warm smile gracing her face, as she returned her attention to the cds in her hands.
Rod Stewart and Sigur Ros.
Butterflies danced around in her stomach, she couldn't believe Debbie had gone out and bought these since they'd met, especially Rod Stewart after teasing her like she had. She opened the Sigur Ros case to find the disc missing, then placed the cases back where she had found them, and putting the rest of the cds back how they were.
Glancing at the stereo, a thought came to her and she flicked the switch, pressed Eject and there was the missing cd. Smiling, she skipped to track 3, and pressed play before lying down on the couch, closing her eyes. She swore she could listen to this music forever, it was so beautiful, made even more so with the memories she held in her mind.
She thought back to that day, where she had met the charismatic girl for the first time. The looks, the laughter, the instant connection she'd felt.
They'd not spoken about that day, other than the odd teasing remark here and there, neither had brought up what had happened between them. The moment they'd shared as they had watched the sunset together.
Maybe it was time they did.
--
Upstairs, Debbie was just getting changed into her own night clothes when she heard the music come on from downstairs.
Jasmine had found the cd.
Debbie felt goosebumps when she realised what track it was. It would always affect her like that now she thought. Everytime she listened to it she got the same feelings, the butterflies, the goosebumps along her skin as the memories came flooding back, she swore she could still feel Jasmine's arms wrapped round her.
The day after meeting Jasmine, she had gone into Hotten to look for this cd, wanting to hear it again, to keep the memories fresh in her mind.
Debbie groaned at the thought that she might have found the Rod Stewart cd too. She felt daft, but she couldn't not buy it when she saw it on display, maybe she was being daft, but it made her feel closer to Jasmine.
"She's so gonna think I'm some kind of psycho stalker when she sees that." she muttered, shaking her head.
Wrapping her gown round her, she made her way back downstairs, stopping as she saw Jasmine laid out on her couch. Noticing her eyes were closed she crept down the rest as quietly as she could, carefully making her way over to the couch.
Looking over at Jasmine, eyes still firmly shut, a wicked grin formed on Debbie's face. She softly made her way over the the kitchen area, opening the door to the freezer. Finding what she was looking for she closed the door, tiptoeing back over to where Jasmine lay. Carefully leaning over the back of the couch she slowly reached out until she came within an inch of Jasmine's night shirt.
"Aaagggh!!" Jasmine screamed, as she leapt to her feet, hopping about like a geriatric on speed.
Having been fully absorbed in the music, Jasmine had no idea she was being snuck up on, until she felt something freezing cold being shoved down her top.
The offending items finally dropped to the ground and Jasmine calmed down, she saw the ice cubes on the floor and then glared at Debbie, who was now doubled over in hysterics.
"Think that's funny do you?!" Jasmine shouted, "You little...!" and launched herself towards Debbie.
"Now now, " Debbie retorted, still laughing as she ran away, "I did warn you Jas, you don't mess with a Dingle and expect to get away with it."
Jasmine continued to chase her friend round the couch for several minutes, both laughing their heads off and screaming as they occasionally threw cushions at each other.
Hearing hammering on the wall, they both stopped in their tracks.
"Do you mind! Some of us are trying to get some sleep!" came the muffled cry of Edna Birch, Debbie's elderly pious next door neighbour.
Both girls now stood perfectly still and open mouthed in surprise, Jasmine with her arm raised, cushion in hand ready to launch another attack on Debbie. They looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles, both collapsing onto the couch.
Jasmine spoke finally.
"God, how old are we again?"
"Well since you ask, I'm actually 65, I just look very good for my age." Debbie quipped.
"Oh well that's even worse. I don't know, a pensioner like you playing daft practical jokes at your age, dear oh dear." she giggled.
Their laughter eventually subsided and they quietly sat together taking in the music, both enjoying each others company, while thoughts played through through their minds. After a while, Debbie broke their silence.
"I listen to this every night you know."
She had spoken in such a small, vulnerable voice that had always been such a rarity for her. Her family certainly never heard it, she had always made sure she stayed strong at all times infront of the Dingles, never wanting them to witness even the slightest glimpse of weakness in her. But with Jasmine it was different. She didn't mind her seeing the less secure, less self assured side to her that she kept hidden away. She honestly believed she was safe around Jasmine, and that she was never someone who would use it against her.
Jasmine had turned to face Debbie at this sudden confession, a hint of surprise on her face yet warmth filling her eyes as she watched her friend nervously playing with the tie on her gown.
"Really?"
Debbie didn't meet her eyes but nodded as she bit her lip, emotions coarsing through her, so many, that she didn't know where to begin.
"I-I don't know what this all means."
Jasmine watched her steadily now, concerned about what was obviously eating away at her friend, and somewhat confused as to how everything became so serious all of a sudden.
"Don't know what what means?" she pressed gently.
But Debbie didn't seem to hear her, or she had chosen to ignore her question Jasmine pondered, so she continued to sit silently as Debbie seemed to lose herself in her thoughts, battling with her emotions.
Debbie wanted desperately to be able to open up to Jasmine, to say what was on her mind, but she was so used to having to constantly bottle up her feelings she had no idea how to go about it. She wasn't used to having someone around who was genuinely interested in her and her alone. Who seemed to like her for who she was and at the same time in spite of who she was. She had been alone for so much of her life. Being abandoned as a baby, then being dragged around from foster home to foster home only to end up in the very same village as her real mother and father. But a mother and father who hated each other 95% of the time, and who seemed to revel in tearing strips out of each other, fighting over her as though it was some kind of contest, but not because they actually cared about her, at least not in her eyes, but rather because it was a way for them to get one over on the other.
And then her mother left, left her for the second time.
The one person she only ever really believed she could confide in, but she'd gone.
So Debbie had sought comfort elsewhere, desperately wanting to feel loved, which was when she got involved with Andy Sugden a local farm boy. He was older than her, and at first he seemed to treat her with respect, like she wasn't the child everyone else treated her as, but before long that all changed. He grew tired of her, as though he'd had his fun and told her it was over. But it wasn't over for her. It was just the beginning. She had gotten pregnant at 14 and immense fear took over her. Feeling utterly lost and alone she hid it from everyone.
Memories came flooding back as she thought back to that night. She'd been hiding out in Seth's old shed when it started. The baby was coming. She was about to have a baby and she had no-one, she was completely paralized with fear.
Thoughts raced through her head. Zac and Lisa's faces of joy as they first set eyes on her holding her baby, the torment of having the label of 'mother' thrust upon her, and the burden it carried. At that age. The pressure of having a whole other life totally dependant on you. She couldn't cope.
Their faces entered her head once again, only this time they were looks of disgust and contempt, then more faces bore down on her, memories of when she'd chased Daz to the Woolpack, where he had told everyone of what she had done, how she had given away her baby. her dad disowned her that day and a few months later did a disappearing act of his own.
Despite feeling so terrible inside, she still believed to this day that she had done the right thing giving Sarah to Emily, the woman who had been a mother to herself for a while, the woman whose world revolved around her daughter. She knew she'd always do right by her and put her first. It hadn't worked out of course. After several months, Cain returned to Emmerdale, he had been secretly tracking down Emily and Sarah and finally returned with her daughter.
Debbie was livid, but no-one understood. They just didn't understand how she couldn't be responsible for her, how she couldn't love her like she deserved to be loved. They couldn't even comprehend how frightened she was that baby Sarah might grow up to become like her, like she had ended up like her own mother. How could she be the mum Sarah needed, when she'd never known real love? Had never felt it. Never really knowing what it truely felt like to be wanted.
In the end, Andy took custody of her, much to the dismay of the Dingles, all except Debbie that is. From that day on she decided she wasn't going to let anyone in, she wasn't going to let herself get attached to anyone. People hurt you too much, always letting you down, only wanting to know when they wanted something from you. So that's how she had continued, throwing herself into her work and drifting in and out of relationships, never anything serious, she never gave them the chance.
Debbie didn't notice the tears escaping from her eyes, too immersed in her own thoughts. It was only when she felt the gentle fingertips of her friend brushing them away that she was brought back to reality.
Tearful smokey eyes met the questioning, yet unconditional accepting eyes of the girl sitting next to her. Jasmine pulled her in close, resting Debbie's head on her chest as she held her tight. Debbie wrapped her arms round Jasmine, panic setting in momentarily, not used to being the object of such affection. It was all foreign to her. But feeling Jasmine hold her, hands softly stroking as she soothed her with words of comfort, telling her it was ok, and that she was there for her, Debbie squeezed her eyes shut, and for the second time in the arms of her friend, she allowed herself to cry.
-------
Heavy eyes flickered open and slowly dragged themselves around the room. She was still downstairs their owner realised, and after a few seconds everything seemed to hit Debbie at once, her whole body seemed to ache from lying on the old couch. A moment passed when it dawned on her that she wasn't alone. Turning her face slightly she saw that she was half lying on top of Jasmine, her head resting in the crook of her neck. Her one arm was now totally numb as it had obviously been trapped underneath the weight of her own body all night, and the other she noted was wrapped around Jasmine's waist.
Debbie moved as gently as she could, looking up at her friend who still slept. She watched how her eyes fluttered behind her eyelids and wondered if she might be dreaming, and what about or who. She continued to watch the slumbering brunette as she took in the details of her face. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows so elegantly framing the deep brown eyes she knew that laid hidden from sight, the way her nose dipped and curved in a way that made Debbie want to place the softest of kisses on the very tip of it. And then her lips, they were parted and inviting and Debbie lay there transfixed, eyes hovering over her sleeping form.
She gently brushed away some loose strands of hair and with the softest of touches grazed her knuckles down Jasmine's cheek, eyes drawn once again to her mouth as her finger gently traced the sleeping girl's lower lip. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she had no idea what she was doing and it was as though she no longer had any control over her body. Before she knew it , she was leaning in closer, her face inches away from Jasmine's, and she could feel the girl's breath against her cheek as she paused.
Debbie closed her eyes as thoughts bombarded her, more importantly, consequences.
Her face was still perilously close to her friends, lips so close to touching when her eyes opened once again, but now resignation forming in them she slowly adjusted her position and instead, placed the lightest of kisses on the tip of Jasmine's nose before carefully extricating herself from her friends grip, quietly making her way upstairs.
As the bathroom door closed, another pair of eyes now flickered open, a deep sigh escaped the owners parted lips before slumber once again took over her body.
---