Cast in order of appearance: Envy, Ed, Al
Envy (walking through forest): Scary, right. *sarcasm* Oh watch out a leaf! I might attack me! I'm afraid…! Never find my way back? Please, I'm Envy, and as a homunculus I'm born with an innate sense of direction. *looks around* …. Okay so… where am I?
Small bug flies by and gets caught in spider web
Bug: Help me! Help me!
Envy: … *twitch*
Large spider eats bug
Envy: … Alright that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen.
Rustling begins in bushes
Envy: … Just back away….
Small fluffy chimera with large eyes jumps out
Envy: … *growl* What're you supposed to be?
Chimera holds up acorn
Envy: …? For me? *smirk* I don't know what to say.
Throws acorn at chimera
Envy: Hit the road bucky!
Envy laughs and starts to walk away, trips and tumbles down very steep hill
Envy: OW!
Looks around, several large scary looking chimeras asleep around him
Envy: W-what's with all these chimeras? It's like Tucker dumped 'em here when I told him to get rid of them in the Dublith f-… oh yeah….
Small chimera walks through over to Envy
Takes out balloon (random) and blows it up into a palm tree
Envy (quietly): Hey!
Chimera moves balloon near pricker bush
Envy: … Come on, d-don't do that!
Chimera moves balloon closer
Envy: D-don't!
*BANG!*
None of the chimeras wake up
Envy: HA!
Chimeras: *instantly awake*
Envy: … Oh no.
Ten seconds later:
Envy screaming and running through the woods being chased by chimeras
Envy: You'll wish you'd never been born… created!!! Just wait!!!
Stops at large cliff over looking river
Envy: … I didn't know there was a river here….
Chimeras close in
Envy: H-huge killer chimera… heh-heh….
Ed standing in tree over looking cliff
Al: Brother, you're gonna kill yourself.
Ed (tying rope to tree branch): I'll be fine, just- whoa!
Ed slips off tree branch and swings down past Envy
Envy: What kind of a rescue was that?!
Ed swings back and grabs Envy by the wrist
Envy: Don't drop me!! Please don't drop me!!
Ed: Don't worry! Al 'll catch us when we- *fly by Al and land on branch hanging over cliff*
Ed drops rope: Okay not good.
Envy (lying on top of branch): I'm new to this whole rescuing thing, but this might be considered a step backwards, wouldn't ya say?
Ed (clinging to bottom of the branch): Al! Transmute the tree!
Al: Hold on Brother!
Al transmutes the tree around them
Ed: Al! I said transmute the tree! Not transmute us to the tree!
Al: Sorry, Brother!
Envy: You idiot!
Al: Hey, I'm trying to help!
Tree branch begins to break off
Envy: …I hate you all.
Branch falls off and tumbles down cliff
Hits several rocks and bobs up and down into the water before coming to a stop
Envy: *cough, cough* Ya know, I'm getting all funned out.
Ed: Well ya know what-?!
Envy: Come on kid! You're the Fullmetal pip- I mean, Fullmetal alchemist! Just transmute it!
Ed: I can't! My hands are pinned down! I-…! Uh-oh….
Envy (facing backwards): Let me guess, we're about to go over a huge waterfall?
Ed: Yep….
Envy: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Ed: Most likely.
Envy: … Bring it on.
Branch goes over waterfall
Twenty minutes later:
Al walking around at the base of the waterfall
Al: Brother?! Brother?! Envy?! Where are you?!
Ed (walking around on the other side of the water): *cough, cough* Al?!
Al: Brother! Are you okay, where's Envy?!
Ed: That's who I'm trying to find…! Wait… there!
Ed runs into water and pulls Envy out
Al runs over to Ed
Both stare at unconscious Envy
Al: ….
Ed: ….
Al: … What do we do?
Ed: … Don't look at me.
Al: … Well we have to do something.
Ed: I'd rather not.
Al: Brother you have to.
Ed: Fan girls will eat me alive!
Both: *shutter*
Al: Will he die?
Silence
Ed: F-… fine I'll do it… *glance, glance*
Ed bends down over
Ed: Envy? Can you hear me? … Why me?
Opens Envy's mouth
Ed: … I'm not doing this.
Al: Brother.
Ed: … Ick!
Leans closer to Envy
Envy: *eyes snap open* AAHHHH!!!!!!
Ed: AAAHHH!!!!!
Two jump away both scraping their tongues
Al: Heh…. Ha! HAHAHA!!!!!
Ed and Envy: It's not funny!!! EEWWWW!!!!!!!!
Ten minutes later:
Ed and Envy gargling on either side of Al so not to look at each other
Al (transmutes fire): *sigh*
Envy: *spits*
Water puts out fire
Envy: You pervert!
Al starts fire again
Ed: *spits*
Water puts out fire again
Ed: I wasn't trying to kiss you! You're the pervert!
Envy: I don't care what you were trying to do! It was disgusting! And if you would've done like I told you to and just given me your brother in the first place, we all could have been spared your kiss of life!
Al starts fire again
Envy shakes water out of hair, water put out fire
Al: *groan*
Ed: Whatever.
Envy gets up and walks over to Ed's cloak (drying)
Envy: But now that you're here you two can take me back to Central and I will finally have the philosopher's stone.
Al starts fire
Envy throws cloak over shoulder and it suffocates flame
Ed: … I think you just need to get to know Al a little bit.
Envy: Why would I want to know a tin can?
Al: I'm sitting right here.
Ed: 'cause he's the nicest person you'll ever meet, you wouldn't want to kill him if you knew him.
Envy: … Now take me back.
Ed: I don't get it. All you care about is yourself!
Envy: Yeah, duh, me! Everybody else gets it! Why can't you?! Get with the program pipsqueak!
Ed: You know someday you'll wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Envy: … *sarcasm* Thanks, I'll log that away. Now take me back!
Ed: … No, unless you change your mind we're not taking you back.
Envy: *rage*
Envy picks up rock and throws it at Ed
Ed: Ow!
Envy: Don't look at me, somebody's throwing stuff. You should help the tin can build a fire.
Ed: *rage*
Envy sits down against tree
Ed (thought): He'll never change him mind….
Envy (thought): I'm never gonna get out of here….
Middle of the night
*Chatter, chatter, chatter*
Al (thought): …What's that?
Looks around, Envy's teeth chattering
Al: *sigh*
Gets up, picks up Ed's jacket, throws it over Envy, sits back down
Envy: *stir* Huh…? *glances over at Al* …Hmm…?
Okay PLEASE review because reviews are better than ice-cream... and cake... and ice-cream cake!!!!!! Thanks for reading and hope you tune in for Friday's chapter :P
Tennessee