Cast in order of appearance: Dante, Greed, Envy, Ed, Al, Marta
Two days later:
Dante draws large red Xs through cities on a map while sitting in the back of some moving vehicle
Dante: No! No! No! No! We've checked all the towns surrounding Central and still no sign of Envy! Where is he?! *pulls down microphone* Greed!
Greed running through forest with large tent on his back
Greed (on the other side of microphone): Greed here.
Dante: I'm getting tired, pull over!
Greed: Sure thing, Greed out.
Greed stops and bends down
Dante walks out of tent stepping Greed's shoulder, head, and fingers, strides into mud
Dante: Oh perfect! These are my best shoes! I hate this forest! *swings scarf (covered in mud) around her shoulders, comes back and hits her in the face*
Random bees storm her
Greed looks over at branch where small blue and gold bird sits, goes over to it with note book while Dante continues to scream and be chased by bees
Greed (writing things down in notebook): Oh look! A golden-throated small-winged warbler!
Dante: AAAHHHH!!!!!
Greed: That's another one for exotic bird bingo!
Dante: AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!
Greed: I am love'n this!
Dante trips in mud and falls in face first
Small fluffy chimera with large eyes waddles out of bush and offers Dante an acorn
Dante: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chimera jumps into Greed's hands while screeching at Dante
Greed: Yeah tell me about it.
Chimera chatters at Greed
Greed: No, no, it's not you. She's not the easiest person to get close to. There's a wall there.
Chimera continues to chatter
Greed: Yeah, trust me.
Dante: … Are you talking to that chimera?
Greed: Oh yeah, I was a junior chimera when I was younger. And I had to be fluent in the language to talk to my chimeras more easily.
Greed looks at chimera
Greed: Please, continue.
Dante: Why me?! Why me?!
Greed: It doesn't always have to be about you ya know, this little guy's had it rough. Seems a talking palm tree gave him a little trouble yesterday.
Dante: … P-palm tree…? OH!!! Please, do tell!
Chimera whispers in Greed's ear
Greed: He doesn't really wanna talk to you.
Dante: Well then you ask him!
Greed: I hate being in the middle…. Okay, squeak squeakety squeak?
Chimera talks to Greed
Greed: Ferocious, killer chimeras, no kidding? Brutal….
Dante inches closer to Greed
Greed: Can you give us a little room here?
Dante backs up
Greed: A little bit farther.
Dante walks back a good fifty feet
Dante (shouting): How's this?!
Greed: Yeah that's good.
Dante: Now ask him which way the talking palm tree went!
Greed: Squeak-squeakity squeaken'?
Chimera points into woods to the left
A few miles to the left:
Envy: *dramatic* Low blood sugar! Can't walk anymore! *sigh* Somebody carry me.
Ed: No.
Envy: Please?!
Al: No.
Envy: Come on! Let's stop! I'm hungry!
Ed: Bet you've never been hungry in your life.
Envy: That's-…! Yeah, that's actuate, but come on! Please?!
Al points to restaurant up the road
Al: …How about there?
Ed: If it'll shut him up.
Three walk up to restaurant
Large sign hung on door: No Homunculus Allowed
Envy: … *blink, blink*
Ed and Al: Hmm….
Five minutes later:
Envy sitting at table with Ed and Al, wearing Ed's cloak as a dress with hair tied back in colorful hair scrunch-y and large sunglasses on
Marta walks over with apron on carrying pen and paper
Marta: *extremely dry* Welcome to Marta's Meat Hut, home… *stares at Envy*
Envy (high pitched): Tee-hee…?
Marta: …of the mug of meat. What'll it be?
Ed (looking at menu): Uh… oh, two specials please.
Envy (regular voice): And an onion log.
Marta: …?
Envy (high voice): For us to split… a treat for my son. *points at Ed*
Marta: What's the occasion?
Envy: He-… he uh, just graduated… fifth grade.
Ed (to Al): *rage* I'm not that short am I?
Marta (walking back to kitchen): Dorchet! We need two heartburns and a deep fried doorstop!
Three begin laughing
Ed: Okay I admit! This was a good idea!
Envy: When are you gonna admit all my ideas are good ones?
Al: *sigh* That's funny, 'cause I thought going into the forest by yourself, being chased by chimeras, lying to me to take you back to Central were all really bad ideas.
Envy: Well sure, anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
Marta walks back over with two bowls of stew
Marta: Congratulations little boy.
Ed: *rage*
Envy (while Marta walks back to the kitchen): What is this stuff?
Al: It's stew.
Ed: Granted it's got milk in it, but it's still really good.
Envy: It looks like puke.
Al: Just try it.
Ed: Yeah, you're the one that dragged us here in the first place.
Envy picks up spoon and fishes through the stew
Envy: No thank you.
Gets up and begins walking away
Ed: Where're you going?
Envy: I'm just going to have a word with the chef.
Al: You'll get us thrown out.
Envy: Please, with this disguise I'm invisible.
Man at another table watches Envy walk into the kitchen and gives thumbs up to Al
Ed and Al: …Awkward….
Dante and Greed enter and sit down in booth behind Ed and Al
Dante: We've been going in circles for who knows how long! That's the last time we take directions from a chimera! I should have just done away with Envy while I had the chance!
Ed and Al: *gasp*
Greed: You really gotta stop beating yourself up about that.
Dante bend fork in half with thumb
Greed: Oh, here I'll get you a new one, Dante.
Greed taps Al on shoulder
Greed: You using that fork?
Al: No, no, you take it.
Greed: Do I know you from somewhere?
Al: I-I don't think so.
Greed: Wrestled you in high school?
Al: Nope.
Greed: Oh I know! Mr. Tucker's interpretive dance class two semesters, I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles.
Ed: No sorry, but we gotta go! *pushes Al out of booth*
Greed (shouting after them): Don't worry! I'll think of it!
Ed: I'll go get the idiot you wait outside, if anything goes wrong create a distraction.
Al: A distraction? What am I supposed to do?
Ed: Throw a chair, break something, dangle a red stone in front of the homunculus I don't care, just make sure those two don't find out where Envy is!
To counter the extra long chapter last time here's a shorter one, but still just the as many laughs! Please review! Because reviews are better than ice-cream!!! Thanks so much for reading and tune in next time for a brutally depressed Envy!!!! Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tennessee