------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt awoke to a loud thud followed by a string of profanities. Mello was upside down off of the bed, head on the floor and feet where his pillows used to be, and was covered in a mess of sheets.

"Fuck this shit bed, this shit room, this whole shit place!! Y'know what? This is all Near's fuckin fault! If he wasn't here then I would be number one and i probably wouldnt be here in this shit room!!"

Mello had, suprisingly, gotten out of the tangled sheets and was now pacing in the middle of the room. Matt had seen the incident coming and now had his Ipod on, blasting music, and was playing pokemon on his Gameboy sp, completely ignoring the fuming blonde.

"MATT!! IT WOULD BE REAL FUCKIN NICE IF YOU LISTENED TO ME EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!"

Matt, of course, hadn't heard him and was happily pressing buttons on the gameboy. Mello stomped over to him, and once to his roommate's bed, he became suddenly calm. He sat on the edge of the bed and began leaning towards Matt.

"Matt, i'd suggst you listen to what i have to say or a certain redhead will not be waking up within 100 miles of this spot tomorrow." Mello said in a dangerously sweet voice.

Said redhead, had no idea whatsoever as to how mello would get him 100 miles away, but he didn't dare question. Instead he simply looked up curiously. Mello, not being one to plan ahead much, hadn't expected sarcastic Matt to even acknowledge that he was there, but to smirk and resume playing his game.

"You are now officially going to help me pull a prank on Near. Oh! and if we get caught, you take all the blame because you are an a-hole and you don't even listen to your friend's problems."

"Oh right... like Roger is going to believe that I would prank Near. I dont even really dislike Near, actually he's kinda cute... but not cute cute, just little ki-"

"OUT! NOW!!"

"what?"

"NEAR IS NOT CUTE! I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR THAT AGAIN!" Mello was offcially flipping a bitch.

"Will you stop hating me if we walk down to, like, wall-mart or something and get you some chocolate?"

"Chocolate is better than... well... no chocolate..."

"Yeah. No shit, Sherlock!"

"Onwards to wall-mart then!!''

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt's POV

As me and Mello, or Mello and I... Gah! i need to stop hanging around Near! But anyways, as Mello and I neared the Wal-Mart parking lot, a truck full of teenage guys slowed down near us. First thought to my mind, a drive-by. I was terrified of guns! But i figured they wouldn't do anything illegal when they started making catcalls at Mello, but no promises that Mello wouldn't kill some people.

"I'm a fuckin GUY, dipshits!!!" Mello screamed.

When they heard his voice, which was way too deep to be a chick's, they muttered some things to each other and then sped off, running a red light. Mello smiled cruelly as we heard a siren in the distance.

"Serves the fuckers right!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All they have here is shit chocolate... no Hershey's, nothing!!"

"Well they do have dark chocolate."

"Dark chocolate is like the left out, un-wanted type of chocolate... its like the Near of all chocolates. And i am officially milk chocolate, because im just cool dat way!"

"What would i be then? Is there like some secret stripey chocolate that i dont know of?" I questioned

"No, Matt. Because no one but you would think of chocolate with stripes. But you'd probably be like...caramel filled chocolate, or pocky... because pocky has chocolate on it... if its chocolate pocky, you're not the crappy strawberry kind!"

"Oooohhh! Pocky sounds good right now!"

''Matt ran off to go get pocky. How totally Matt-ish of him.'' Mello said.

As I strolled down the aisleways looking for pocky, something unusually shiny caught my eye, turns out it was a bottle of hairspray. No big deal right? Well next to that particular bottle of hairspray was a small hair dye kit... the last hot pink one left. Goodbye albino near, hello Mr. Pink-hair!! I took out my phone and scrolled through my phone book until finding Mello's number.

"Haiiiiiii Matty-kuuuuuunnnn!!!" Well that sure as hell wasn't Mello

"Shit! Sorry Misa! Wrong number!" I quickly hung up. Dont even ask why I had Misa's number in my phone.

I was sure I had the right number when I heard Mello's suggestive ringtone playing halfway across the store.

'I can show you how to hump, with out making love.

The way you look at me, I can tell that you're a fre-'

"-ey. whassup?" He still hadn't changed his Hollywood Undead ringtone, not that I had a problem with that. I fuckin' love Hollywood Undead.

"Meet me by the... the hair shit..."

"MATT! Haven't you gotten the memo that guys dont buy girly stuff?!"

"Look whose talkin' Princess!''

"HEY! It is not my fault that the shitty employees at Macy's are fuckin' retards and put all of the badass clothes in the chick section!"

"You shop at Macy's?!?!" The call ended. Mello had hung up on him, although I had known that calling him 'princess' wouldn't make him happy. He was more like a princess at that time of the month...

Mello quickly rushed over to the 'hair shit' section and found me. "Hi beauty queen!" Mello's voice was in such a girly tone that I nearly choked on the sushi sample I picked up on the way over. Mmmm California Rolls. They surely without a doubt make the world go round! That is, if videogames and cigarettes dissapeared...

"Uuuugggghhhh... i am hungry like a bitch!!" whined mello.

"Then go to the frozen foods and get something microvaveable..."

Mello and I were at the chekouts when out of the corner of his eye Mello spotted the McDonalds in the corner of the store "MCDONALDS!" Mello screamed like a little fat boy seeing a cookie. All of the checkout people for about 100 feet away stared at Mello, and then some people who earlier were near the candy aisle when Mello decided to just look over and see his heaven, looked like they wanted to call the cops... A giant grin formed across my face.

"Mello you are going to get as big as a hooker on 6th street with their fat hanging over their G-String. All you eat is McDonalds, and chocolate."

Mellos frantic smile quickly changed to a frown. He sent his hand down to his gun. "Matt you know I love you but don't make me use this! Wait... how would you know about those hookers?"

"Ummmmmmmm... LOOK MORE CHOCOLATE!!!" Mello's head turned toward to a large aisle of chocolate and he ran over like the little kid he was.

"MELLO! Get your ass back over here and pay for this crap because i spent all my money on your last chocolate savage!"

Mello's eyes quickly turned to a panic as he rushed over to pay for his chocolately treats, and Near's hot pink dye.

"250.75." The cashier said rather astounded. Her eyes were huge. Mello snickerd at the high total and quickly whipped out the money to cover his candy feast.

"Come on! Come on!" Mello said yanking me towards the McDonalds.

We were finally through the what seemed like a 4 mile long line and were at the counter.

"Sir what size fries would you like with your big mac and super size coke?" The cashier asked.

"I already have fries!" Mello said holding up the frozen bag of fries from the microwaveable section.

The cashier looked at him like he was only there to fool with her, yet she continued to go on with his order.

"Your total is $3.41." She said handing him his meal and reipet. Mello stuck his hand into his pockets and searched around for a while

until he finally yanked out $3.00.

"Matt would you be willing to loan your bestest most sexy beast friend in the world 50 cents?"I was annoyed but willingly handed Mello 50 cents.

"Love Ya!" Mello said pecking me on the cheek.

I blushed and stared down at my boots.

When I finally lifted my head again the cashier was staring at me like liking guys was like being a felon... But i was a felon...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A.N. This is only chapter one, if you like it then REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!! If i dont know that anyone likes it, then theres no point in writing it... So all reviewers get free invisible virtual cupcakes!! ^-^ -Hannah