Cast in order of appearance: Greed, Dante, Envy, Al, Ed, Mason, Izumi, Wrath

Greed sleeps in tent that barely covers his knees, snoring while hugging a teddy bear

Dante's tent beside his own, a story high, insulated, and fully decorated

Greed sits up suddenly

Greed: The guy in the armor! At the diner! … He didn't pay his check…. *falls back to sleep*

Long pause

Greed sits back up

Greed: He's the guy from Dublith I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Envy! *gasp* He must have taken him back to Dublith, so if we find where he's staying there we'll find him, and if we find him we'll find Envy! Oh yeah! Things are starting to come together!

Greed runs into Dante's tent

Greed: Dante!

Dante sits up, face covered in night cream with cucumber slices over her eyes

Greed: AAHH!!

Dante: This had better be good!

Morning:

Envy sleeping in pile of trash bags

Envy: *stir, stir* … AHH!!!!

Hobo staring at Envy

Hobo: You're in my bed.

Envy jumps up

Envy: S-sorry… *begins walking down street* *listens*

Al talking to someone while Ed holds up a poorly drawn picture of Envy

Ed: Have ya seen him?

Al (talking to another person): And just before my brother could plummet to his death Envy grabbed him and pulled him back to safety. I didn't think there was any good left in this guy but I was wrong.

Ed sees Envy

Ed: Besides, we couldn't just leave him out here. He's a lousy homunculus. I mean a really lousy homunculus.

Envy walks up to them

Envy: … Hey….

Ed and Al: Hi….

Envy: … Listen guys… I'm s-… so-… I'm sorry….

Ed: Save it.

Al: … So, ya wanna go back to Central?

Envy: *sniffle, sniffle* *sob* YES!!!

Envy, Ed, and Al running through forest almost at Dublith

Ed: We'll just stop at Teacher's house to pick up a few things.

Envy: And then to Central right?!

Al: Right!

Run down the street towards butcher's shop

Mason (walking in the other direction): Hey! Ed, Al! I just saw your relatives. I thought you didn't have any.

Al: We don't.

Ed: What did they look like?

Mason: Well there was this big guy, and a skinny old woman who was… scary beyond all reason.

Envy: Where'd they go?

Mason: I pointed 'em towards the house.

Izumi's house:

Izumi (making tea): So tell me again how you're related to the Elrics.

Dante: Why, I'm their third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great aunt. *grin*

Izumi: ….

Dante: Heh-heh, twice removed… *sips tea*

Izumi: … Uh-hu….

Dante: Isn't that right Greed?

Greed playing jump rope with Wrath (perhaps what it would have been like if Greed had gotten to Wrath before the others)

Wrath: Ninety-nine moneys jumping on a bed!

Greed: One fell off and bumped his head!

Dante: *groan* *rolls eyes*

Izumi: You know-

Dante: *grin*

Izumi: I'm really sorry you had to come all this way, but as I said before, you may recall, Ed and Al are not here and I don't know when they'll be back. I'll be sure to tell them you dropped by.

Dante: That would be great! *swings hand and hit tea cup*

Both stare at cup

Dante: Woops, clumsy me….

Izumi: No, no, *aggravated* allow me.

Attempts to lean down and pick up cup with out throwing up blood

Dante dashes into the other room and begins jump roping with Greed and Wrath

Dante: She's hiding something, when I give the word we search the house!

Greed: Okay but I still have ninety-six monkeys to go.

Dante: *growl*

Dashes back into chair as Izumi succeeds in picking up the cup

Dante: So while we're waiting for the Erics-

Izumi: Elrics.

Dante: Right, right, of course. Perhaps we could have a tour of your lovely home.

Izumi: Why don't you just back when the Elrics are here- *sees Ed and Al at the window frantically waving* Yah! Uh! I think I left something in the oven, just a minute!

Izumi runs out of the room

Greed swings two jump ropes while Wrath jumps from one to the other

Greed: This is my variation of double-dutch; on the signal we'll switch places.

Dante runs in

Dante: Greed it's time!

Greed: Okay!

Dante suddenly standing in the middle swing two jump ropes while Wrath and Greed jump in either one

Wrath: I like this game!

Dante: *irritated* Yeah, you would.

Izumi standing in kitchen with Ed and Al

Ed: So that's why we need to get him to Central and change him back as soon as possible.

Al: Can you help, Teacher?

Envy pops up in window

Envy: Hi there!

Izumi throws up blood on Envy, Envy faints and falls back down two stories

Ed: … That was him.

Izumi: Woops.

Dante goes through closets while Wrath follows her around still jumping rope

Wrath: Ya know what?

Dante: *ignore*

Wrath: I think you're more like my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great….

Izumi: You two go, I'll stall them long enough for you to get a head start.

Ed: Thanks Teacher!

Envy (face green): You have a very nice teacher…. *throws up*

Wrath: Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great-

Dante: *aggravated* Alright! Are you finished?!

Wrath: … Great, great aunt. Plus… homunculi don't have great aunts, or mothers….

Dante: Who told you that?

Wrath: … I think you did.

Dante: …?

Izumi walks in

Izumi: So where were we?

Dante: Listen here sister! We're not leaving until-!

Izumi: I'll show you the house! Of course!

Envy (as they run through the forest back towards Central): Hey, you think it was a good idea to leave your teacher and the small homunculus child alone with those two.

Al: Trust me, they can handle themselves.

Izumi stands in front of closet door holding a detached door knob in her hand while Wrath hangs on her giggling uncontrollably

Izumi: What do you mean it's stuck? Try jiggling the handle.

Dante (from inside closet): For the last time there is no handle!

Izumi: There's not? Are you sure?

Wrath burst out laughing

Dante: I've had enough! Tell us where the palm tree homunculus is and we'll you're your house to the ground!

Greed (also in closet): Don't you mean "Or"?

Dante: Fine! Tell us where the palm tree homunculus is or we'll burn your house to the ground!

Wrath: Well which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

Dante: *rage* That's it! Greed! Break the door down!

Greed: Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany!

Dante: I don't care, you fool! Get out of my way! I'll break it down myself! One! Two!

Izumi reattaches handle

Izumi: Okay Wrath, you know what to do.

Wrath: Right Mom! *runs out of shot*

Dante: Three!

Izumi opens door and Dante runs out and through screen door, trips and falls into wheel barrel which roles down the hill as Wrath pelts it with a beehive and feather pillows

Dante, completely covered in feathers, lands in Mason's truck carrying poultry

Dante: What?!

Dante sees Envy and Elrics headed over hill

Dante: There they go Greed! They're getting away!

Greed (talking to Izumi): Well I had a great time, let's not wait for the next family reunion to get together. *looks a Wrath and holds up knuckles* Where're the dogs at, little Wrath?

*knuckle touch*

Wrath: At the pound, Mr. Greed!

Dante: Greed!!!

Greed: I gotta run.

Izumi: … Well that was fun, huh Wrath?

Silence

Izumi: Wrath…?

Thanks so much for reading everyone! Another chapter in two days! Thanks again!

Tennessee