Here you go: another chapter in "The Love of My Life" I hope you enjoy it. This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write. I've put a little twist into this story that you probably weren't expecting, please review and tell me what you think!. :)
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Eric and Allison, Happy Birthday to you!"
It was the twins' second birthday, and all of the Camdens, Riveras, Petrowskis, Ben, and Roxanne and Chandler were gathered to help Lucy, Savannah, Erin, and the twins celebrate.
It had been just over two years since Kevin died. The anniversary of his death had been hard on everyone, but it had been especially hard on Lucy, Ben, and Roxanne. Lucy was still adapting to life as a single mom. Ben was finding it hard to adjust to life without his older brother, who had also been his confidant and friend. Roxanne had gone through several temporary partners before finally getting a new permanent partner about three months ago.
Just when they thought that things were starting to get back to normal, Ben and Lucy both received a phone call about two months after the twins were born. The phone call was from Karen Kinkirk's lawyer in New York. Karen had suffered a massive heart attack while driving home from a concert and had crashed into a tree. Both she and Patty Mary, who had been with her in the car, had died instantly.
That had been a hard time for Ben as well as Lucy. Ben, who had already been spending quite a bit of time at the Kinkirk's house, had begun spending a lot more time there, playing with Savannah and Erin, helping Lucy with Eric and Allison, and watching the kids so that Lucy could take a nap. When he wasn't working, he was almost always at the Kinkirks.
Lucy had been thankful for the extra help. Allison had started sleeping through the night when she was a month old, but Eric was almost four moths old before he started sleeping through the night, which meant a lot of sleepless nights for Lucy. She was grateful that Ben came over so often to watch the kids so she could sleep.
"Lucy," Matt said, snapping Lucy back to the present.
"I'm sorry, what did you say, Matt? I didn't hear you," Lucy said.
"I asked if you wanted some cake," Matt replied. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine; just tired, that's all."
"Lucy, you need to get more sleep. You look exhausted."
"And when can I do that? I get up, make Savannah's breakfast, get her ready for school, put her on the bus, by then the twins and Erin are usually awake, I feed them breakfast, take them to Mom's, go to the church, pick up the twins, Erin, and Savannah on my way home, make dinner, put the kids to bed, do housework, then go to bed. It's not like I have any extra time that I can sleep."
Matt sighed. "Luce, I know we've had this discussion before, but I really wish you'd hire someone to do your housework and help you out. You can't do it all by yourself."
"Why not? Other single mothers do."
"Lucy, most other single mothers don't have a seven-year-old, a four-and-a half-year-old, and two-year-old twins. You have your hand full. You can't do everything by yourself. If you try, you're going to wear yourself out and then someone will have to help you."
Lucy rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll think about getting a mother's helper. I'm not making any promises, though."
"I'll take that for now. I'm not trying to be bossy, Lucy, I'm just trying to help."
"I know, Matt. I've thought about having someone take the girls on the weekends so I can get stuff done, but I feel like that's the only time that I get to spend with them. If someone else took them, I'd never get to see them."
"Why don't Sarah and I watch them tonight? They can spend the night at our house. Keller and Liam will love having them there."
"Are you sure? They're going to be all wound up from the party," Lucy warned him.
"I know; so will Keller and Liam. They can wear all their energy out on each other," Matt replied. "Sarah's the one who suggested it, so I know she'll be okay with it."
"Okay," Lucy agreed. "I'll try it for this weekend and see how it goes. It will be strange just having the twins and not Savannah and Erin."
"It will give you a chance to get some rest and maybe get some stuff done. We'll drop the girls by sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening."
Two hours later, the twins were in bed and everyone had left except for Ben. Lucy collapsed unto the couch and leaned her head back. "I am so glad I agreed to let Matt and Sarah take Savannah and Erin tonight. I am exhausted!"
Ben sat down on the couch next to her. "Luce, are you okay? You've lost weight, and you always have dark circles under your eyes."
Lucy groaned. "Do I really look that bad?" she asked.
"I don't think many other people have noticed. You do a good job of covering it up."
Lucy sighed. "I'm fine; just tired. The weeks always seem so long and tiring."
"Luce, you need help. You can't so it all on your own; it's too much for you. "
"Don't you start in on me getting a mother's helper, too. You're as bad as Matt," Lucy exclaimed.
"I'm not saying you have to get a mother's helper; I'm just saying you need help. Let those who care about you help, Lucy."
"Ben, they're already doing all they can. Mom watches the twins and Erin during the day while Savannah's at school; I'm constantly getting invitations to dinner at various siblings' houses. Chandler's been doing more and more of the counseling at church to give me a break…" Lucy trailed off.
"That's not what I mean, Luce. Let me help you. I'll come over on my days off and watch the twins and Erin so you don't have to worry about getting them up and fixing them breakfast in time to take them to your mom's house. I can fix up some things around here that are starting to look rather run down. I'll even stay after you get home and help you get the kids in bed."
"Ben, I couldn't ask you to do that. You come over enough already. You'll never get anything done at your house."
"Lucy, look at me," Ben's voice was firm but gentle. "I want to do this, Luce. Please let me."
"Why?" Lucy whispered.
"Because I care about you. I hate seeing you so worn out and tired all the time," Ben replied, his voice soft.
"Ben-" Lucy said, her voice catching.
"What is it, Luce?" Ben gently prodded.
"Ben, I don't know if I'm ready for this," she said, sadness filling her voice. She knew exactly what Ben had meant when he said he cared about her. It was no longer care of a brother-in-law for his widowed sister-in-law. Rather, it was the care that a man has for the woman he likes. "When did this happen?" she whispered.
"I don't know, Luce," Ben replied honestly. "All I know is that I no longer care for you only as a sister-in-law. I've fought it, believe me. I've fought it for quite awhile. I tried to ignore the feeling, I really did, but I couldn't. The more I fought it, the stronger it became."
Lucy's eyes filled with tears. "I can't. It wouldn't be right."
Ben's eyes caught hers and he saw something in there that he had seen before, but had just shrugged it off. "Lucy, tell me the truth, please. Do you feel anything for me?"
"Yes, I do," Lucy cried. "That's what scares me. I don't know when it happened, but one day I started seeing you as someone besides Kevin's brother. I started seeing you in a different light. You were no longer the brother of my dead husband; rather, you were someone that I began to have feelings for, that I cared about. I do care about you, but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about Kevin. I feel almost like I'm dishonoring his memory by having feelings for someone else." By now tears were streaming down Lucy's face.
"Luce, come here," Ben said, pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly against him, gently brushing away her tears with his hand. "Luce, I struggled with the same thing. I kept telling myself that I couldn't have feelings for you; that you were Kevin's wife."
"Ben, you're a firefighter," Lucy said, her voice muffled against Ben's chest. "It's not exactly the safest job in the world. I don't know if I could stand it if anything happened to you."
"Lucy, I can't promise you that I'll always be here. I wish I could, but because of my job, I can't. I can promise you this, though. I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens to me."
Lucy searched Ben's eyes and what she saw in there comforted her. "My brothers aren't going to make this easy for you," she warned.
A slow smile spread across Ben's face. "Does that mean what I think it does?"
Lucy smiled. "Yes, Ben, it means that I will give a relationship with you a chance."
Ben pulled her back up against him into a gentle hug. "Luce, I promise that I will not hurt you. We can take it as slow or as fast as you want."
Lucy laid her head back down against Ben's chest. "You do know what you're getting yourself into, don't you? I'm not going to be like the other women you've dated. I've been married before, and I have four young children to look after. All of that and the church keep me pretty busy."
"I know that, Luce, and I don't care. I love the kids, and I realize that they and the church are your main focus. I also realize that most of the time our dates will probably consist of feeding the kids and putting them to bed, then spending a few minutes alone before I leave so you can get to bed as well, and I don't care. I'm okay with that."
Simon was sitting on the couch in his and Rose's living room waiting for Rose to come back down from putting their one-year-old daughter, Kaitlyn Anne, to bed. As he sat there, he thought back on Eric and Allison's birthday party, and how different things from how they'd been five years ago. The family had grown greatly. Lucy had four kids now, Ruthie was married and she and Peter had a boy, Daniel Kevin, who was just a few days older than his and Roses' little girl. Although they had grown, the loss of both his dad and Kevin was still greatly felt.
"Simon? What's on your mind?" Rose asked, startling Simon, who hadn't heard her come back in.
"Nothing much, just thinking about how much things have changed," Simon replied.
"Like what?" Rose asked.
"Well, Dad and Kevin are both dead. Ruthie's married and has a kid, I'm married and have a kid, Lucy is a single mom with four kids, and Sam and David are getting ready to graduate form high school here in a few weeks. Everything's just so different from how it used to be." He sighed. "Everything seemed so simple when I was a kid. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days, where I didn't have to worry about anything because I knew that Mom and Dad were there and they'd take care of everything for me."
"I feel that way, too, sometimes. What else is bothering you? I can tell that there's something up."
Simon sighed. "I don't know if I'm just imagining things or what, but I have a feeling that there's something going on between Ben and Lucy."
"What makes you think that?'
"I don't know; there was just something about the way Ben would look at Lucy when he thought no one was looking, and I saw Lucy do it sometimes, too. There was a light in Lucy's eyes that I haven't seen there for awhile, not since Kevin died. Maybe I'm just imagining things."
"No, I saw it, too, Simon. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if anyone else had noticed it or not. How do you feel about it? Are you okay with the fact that Lucy and Ben might like each other?"
"I don't really know, Rose," he replied, pulling her down to sit next to him on the couch. Rose rested her head on his shoulder. "I guess it's just hard for me to picture Lucy with anyone except Kevin, especially considering Ben is Kevin's brother. I know that Kevin's been gone for two years now, but it's still hard. I never really thought about the fact that someday Lucy might find someone else, and I definitely never thought about the possibility of something happening between Ben and Lucy."
"I think that if it's what Lucy wants, then we shouldn't stand in her way. She's been through enough without having to fight us to be in a relationship with someone she cares about."
"I suppose you're right. It's just kind of hard to imagine her with anyone besides Kevin. It will be good for her, though. Ben will help her, and that's what she needs right now. She looked so tired tonight. I realized tonight just how hard it was for her as a single mom. I was going to call a family meeting to work out a schedule to help her, but I think I'll wait and see where this thing with Ben goes."
Rose was about to say something when the phone rang. "I'll get it," she said. She leaned over and grabbed the phone off of the side table. "Hello?" she answered.
"Hi, Rose, it's Ruthie. Can I talk to Simon?"
"Sure, hang on a minute," Rose said. She covered the mouthpiece, "Simon, it's Ruthie. I'm going to go to bed and leave you two to talk." She gave him a kiss then handed him the phone.
"Hey Ruthie," Simon answered as he watched Rose leave the room. "What's up?"
"Lucy. She looked so tired tonight, Simon. I hadn't realized just how tired she was until tonight," Ruthie said.
"I know. Rose and I were just talking about that. I was thinking of calling a family meeting to discuss a schedule to help her, but I think it'd be best to wait for right now."
"I'm guessing you saw the same thing that I did tonight?"
"If what you saw was that Ben and Lucy's relationship has changed, then, yes, I did."
"Yes. I was wondering if anyone else had seen it. At first I was surprised, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's a good thing. Lucy needs someone to help her, and she looked happier than I'd seen her in a long time tonight."
"Yeah, I noticed that, too. Even though she looked absolutely exhausted, she had this light in her eyes that I haven't seen since Kevin died. She even acted a little more like the old Lucy tonight."
"Do you think anyone else noticed?"
"Rose did. I'm sure that if we noticed then Mom definitely noticed. For all we know, she may have already known about it."
Simon was right. Annie had noticed. Although she hadn't already known, she had kind of suspected that something was going on. Ben had been hanging around Lucy's house even more than usual recently, and Lucy always seemed to be quite happy when he was around. Interestingly enough, it didn't surprise her. Ben and Lucy seemed to be perfect for each other, and the kids loved him. Although it was going to take some getting used to, Annie knew that she would enjoy having Ben in the family if he and Lucy decided to get married.
"Mom, I can't find my diamond necklace! Do you know where it is?" Lucy yelled from her bedroom. She was getting ready a date with Ben, and Annie had come over to watch the kids.
Annie came and stood in the doorway. "The last time I saw it was when you wore it for Sam and David's graduation last week. What did you do with it after you took it off?"
Lucy smacked her forehead with her hand. "I stuck it in the back pack! Allison was pulling on it, so I took it off so she wouldn't break it. I totally forgot about it until now."
Annie smiled as Lucy rushed off to the twins' room to rummage in their back pack for the necklace. Since Lucy had started dating Ben, she had become her normal, happy, absent-minded self. Annie had seen her so happy at least since before Kevin had died, if not before Eric had died. Today was her and Ben's one year anniversary, and Ben was taking her out to eat at someplace very special. Annie had a feeling that Lucy might come back with a ring on her finger, but she didn't know for sure. Ben had asked her, as well as Matt, Carlos, Simon, Peter, Sam, and David, for permission to ask Lucy to marry him, and, of course, they had all said yes. It had taken some of them longer than others to get used to the idea of Ben marrying Lucy, but they were starting to get used to it.
"I found it!" Lucy called triumphantly as she came back in the room. She fastened the necklace around her neck. "There; I'm all ready to go now. Ben should be getting here any minute now. Call me if you need anything," Lucy said, starting to rattle of her usual list of instructions to Annie. Thankfully, the doorbell interrupted her, keeping Annie from having to hear what she had heard a thousand times before.
"That must be Ben!" Lucy exclaimed, heading towards the door. Savannah beat her to it, however.
"Uncle Ben!" exclaimed Savannah.
"Hey Munchkin, How are you?" Ben asked, giving her a hug.
"I'm good. Mommy's all ready for you; you probably shouldn't keep her waiting any longer. She doesn't have very much patience," she said very matter-of-factly.
Lucy, Ben, and Annie did the best they could to hide their laughter. When Ben could finally talk without laughing he said, "Is that so?"
Savannah nodded her head. "Yes, it is," she said very seriously.
"Well then, I guess I shouldn't keep her waiting. Give her a hug and a kiss and we'll get going," Ben said.
"Okay," Savannah said happily. She gave Lucy a hug and a kiss, and once Erin, Eric, and Allison had all received their hugs and kisses too, she shooed Ben and Lucy out the door.
Once Ben and Lucy were safely inside Ben's car, they burst out laughing."Savannah amazes me sometimes with how grown up she is," Lucy said once they had calmed down. "Sometimes I find it hard to remember that she's only seven because she's so mature. She's a lot like-" Lucy stopped without finishing her sentence.
"She's a lot like Kevin, I know. Luce, look at me," Ben commanded gently. He waited until she was looking, then went on. "It's okay to talk about Kevin. He's the father of all four of your children, and you loved him very much. You don't have to avoid talking about him when I'm around just because we're dating, okay?"
"Okay," Lucy said.
Ben started the car, then looked back at Lucy. "I love you, Luce."
"I love you, too, Ben," Lucy said. She leaned over and gave him a kiss. "Now we'd better get going or we're going to be late and we'll miss our reservation."
Twenty minutes later, Ben and Lucy had arrived at the restraint and had just been seated at their table. "I'll be right back, Luce," Ben said. "If the waiter comes while I'm gone, just order me whatever you decide to get."
"Okay," said Lucy distractedly. She was looking intently at the menu, trying to decide what to order.
Ten minutes later, Ben returned.
"Where did you go?" Lucy asked curiously.
"Oh, I had to make a quick phone call. I'd gotten a call right before getting to your house and didn't have a chance to return it."
"Oh, okay," Lucy said, content with what Ben had told her.
Ben was relieved. He had been telling the truth about making a phone call, but he had lied about someone calling him. Truth be told, he had called Peter. He had been hoping that Lucy would be running late as usual so that he would have a chance to talk to Annie before they left, but she had been on time for once, giving him no opportunity to talk to Annie without Lucy around.
After Ben and Lucy had finished their meal, the waiter came to the table. "Would you like desert tonight?"
"No, thank you," Ben spoke up before Lucy had a chance to say anything. He ignored Lucy's questioning glance. He took the bill that the waiter handed to them.
Once the waiter had left, Lucy asked, "Why aren't we getting dessert?" It wasn't normal for Ben to turn down dessert.
Ben just smiled. "You'll see," he replied.
About twenty minutes later, Ben and Lucy had just pulled into a parking lot. There were only two or three other cars in the parking lot.
"Ben? Where are we?" Lucy asked.
Ben just smiled. "You'll see," was all he said. They walked a few feet, then Ben said, "Close your eyes."
"What? Why?" Lucy asked.
"Just close your eyes," Ben replied. "You'll see."
Lucy sighed but did as she was told. Once she had closed her eyes, Ben took her hand and began to lead her. After a couple of minutes, Lucy felt her feet leave the pavement and touch something soft and giving. She gasped.
"It's okay, Luce, it's only sand. We're at a beach. Only a little farther," Ben reassured her.
After a couple more minutes Ben let go of her hand and said, "Okay, now open your eyes."
Lucy opened her eyes and gasped. On the sand were candles that formed the shape of a heart, and in the middle was Ben, down on one knee, holding a ring.
"Lucy, will you marry me?" asked Ben.
Tears filled Lucy's eyes. "Yes! Yes, I will marry you," she exclaimed.
Ben stood up and took her hand, pulling her into the center of the heart with him. He then slipped the ring onto her finger. "I love you, Lucy," he said before leaning down and kissing her.
"I love you, too," Lucy said when they broke apart. "How did you-? When did you-?"
Ben laughed. It wasn't often that Lucy was speechless. "I've actually been planning this for about a month or so. Peter helped me, and he and Ruthie came over and set all of this up for me." he explained. He leaned down and touched something that was itting just outside the light of the candles. Second later, music started playing. Ben pulled Lucy back into his arms and started dancing with her to their song.
I am amazed
When i look at you
I see you smiling back at me
It's like all my dreams come true
I am afraid
If i lost you girl
I'd fall through the cracks
And lose me track in this crazy lonely world
Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When the nights can be so long
And gave me the strength
And kept me holding on
You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are my love
The love of my life
Now here you are
With midnight closing in
You take my hand as our shadows dance
With moonlite on you skin
I look in your eyes
I'm lost inside your kiss
I think if i'd never met you
About all the things i'd missed
sometimes it's so hard to believe
when a love can be so strong
and faith gave me the strength
and kept me holding on
You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are my love
The love of my life
-The Love of My Life, Jim Brickman