Alex avoided me the rest of the day until I caught her just as she was walking out of the school. "Alex, we can stay together while I'm gone, we'll text and call all the time and when I get back we'll be even stronger." I yelled as she walked away.
Finally she stopped and turned around to yell back, "That's not it don't you get it? It's not about us being apart, I can handle that, it's you finding someone better who you can play music with and someone who will understand when you say that your kayber is off."
"It's cadence." I said quietly.
"See! I can't even say it right you need someone who understands you." She yells throwing her hands up in frustration.
"Alex, stop. You understand me. Even though you don't know music you know when I'm hurt or sick. Most of the time we're together I feel like you can read my mind."
She walked toward me with tears in her eyes, "Really?"
"Yes. Do you remember the day my parents got in a really big fight?" she nodded. "Justin asked if I was okay once but after I said I was fine he believed me. You didn't. You could see through and you comforted me and we weren't even dating yet." She smiled.
"That might be just 'cause I'm a girl." She mumbled.
"My mom and your mom didn't realize it. It's not just 'cause you're a girl, it's 'cause you're you." She looked into my eyes and walked closer to pull me into a hug.
"I'm sorry." She whispered into my shoulder.
"Don't worry let's just make the most out of the next two days." I replied pulling away and pulling her lips against mine for a passionate kiss.
"Then let's go to your house." She replied against my lips.
"My house?" I asked surprised.
"I want to be alone with you and I'm guessing your parents aren't home."
"Oh, then ok let's go." I said pulling away and grabbing her hand.
"Slow down, let's just walk and talk we'll get to your house eventually." I smiled. Alex was always really calm which inevitably calmed me down.
"How are you and Justin related? You guys are both so different." I asked laughing.
"One of lives mystery's." she replied shrugging. We casually walked home holding hands as Alex explained what had happened that day. I wasn't much of a talker and Alex was so she gave me the option of not having to talk unless I wanted to. Justin on the other hand was the opposite. He wanted me to talk most of the time so he could listen.
"I'm so happy I'm with you." I said randomly looking up at her.
She blushed and replied, "I'm so happy you chose me." I stopped walking at this, feeling my heart swell too much to walk. "Why'd you . . ."
"I love you." I replied cutting her off. She remained silent and I looked up at her to see tears sliding down her cheeks but also a smile on her face.
"That's the first time you said it." She stated in awe.
"It's the first time I've really meant it."
"Can you just say it again?" she looked at me with pleading eyes.
I took a step forward with each word, "I . . . Love . . . You." Just as the sentence left my throat I felt her lips collide with my own.
"I love you, too." She whispered against my lips. I felt my heart swell again and tears of joy started to spring to my own eyes. "This is really corny." She said killing the mood but I still laughed.
"You really know how to stop romantic moments, you know that?" I teased wiping my eyes.
"What! We were both crying 'cause of three words." She defended even though I knew she was joking.
"Not just three words, it's what the words mean." I answered quietly. We held each other until I heard her take in a breath to speak but before she could I said, "Don't say something that will ruin this, please."
She scoffed. "I was going to ask you if you'll say it again."
"Oh." I said embarrassed. I pulled back and with my hand made her eyes meet mine. "I love you, Alex, with all my heart."
She looked at me with pure joy in her eyes and said, "I don't think I'll ever get tired of that."
"Well, good 'cause I won't get tired of saying it." I looked from her face to look around and saw were on the street of my house. "We're really close to my house." I said.
She looked up and said, "Huh, you're right, let's go." She grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. We got to my house and did indeed find it empty, knowing my parents won't be home till late tonight I grabbed Alex and slammed her gently to the front door crashing my lips against hers. I felt a moan pass from her mouth to mine as I sucked in her bottom lip. I pulled away and she groaned and opened her eyes to look at mine.
I saw the lust in her eyes until I said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this."
"What can't you do?" Alex asked sounding hurt.
"We can't go further than making out." I explained walking away to sit on the couch.
I couldn't meet her gaze until I heard her footsteps and say, "aww, Caity, that's okay, we don't have to." She sat down next to me and I looked up at her seeing her smile.
"You're not mad?" I asked worried.
"No, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready either." I sighed in relief.
"So, what do you want to do?"
"Um," she said tapping her pointer finger to her chin. "I want to cuddle with you while watching a movie."
"Ok, what movie?" I asked smiling at her sweetness that rarely showed itself to anyone but me.
"DEBS." She said excited.
"We always watch that." I fake whined.
"And it's always funny." She said standing up and smiling wide.
"What will you give me?" I didn't mind watching DEBS it was both Alex and mines favorite movie but I just wanted to play with her.
"I'll buy dinner and the snacks." She offered and I acted like I was thinking even though she had convinced me with her beautiful smile.
I must have been thinking too long 'cause I heard her whine as she came and sat down net to me again, "Oh, come on Caity, I'll even let you pick the next movie."
"Fine," I said smiling at her. "But let's go get dinner and the snacks before we watch the movie." I stood up and headed toward the door.
"Ok, that way we won't have to leave the house after we get comfortable." Alex followed me and we walked to the closest grocery store. We got a pizza for us to share and our favorite treats before heading back to my house and cuddling on my bed to watch DEBS. After the movie I walked downstairs to put the pizza in the oven while Alex called her mom to ask if she could sleep over.
"But Mom, she leaves in two days then I can't see her all summer please let me stay." I heard her say as I walked back into the room. "Her parents will be home soon." She winked when she saw me. "Yes, we'll be careful, Mom we're not kids. Ok, I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up and putting the phone in her pocket said, "Easy." I laughed and started to pull her into a kiss but heard the front door open. I looked at the clock behind me.
"They're not supposed to be home for another hour." I pulled away and walked downstairs to see my parents in the kitchen.
"We won't be staying long just getting something to eat then we'll be working all night." My mom said when she saw me.
My dad looked in the oven and said, "what are you and Alex doing tonight?" I looked behind me to make sure he hadn't seen her and smiled when I realized she was probably still in my room.
"Just watching movies, taking advantage of the next two days." I replied.
"Have fun and be smart." He said and I nodded as both he and my mom kissed me on the cheek and left us alone for the night. I checked the timer and walked back up the stairs.
"We have ten more minutes till the pizza should be done." I said looking up to see Alex laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling. "What you thinking, babe?"
"I'm gonna miss you so much." She looked up at me with misty eyes. I walked over and pulled her into a tight hug.
"I'm gonna miss you, too but we'll text and call all the time."
"You promise?" she asked in a child-like tone.
"Yes, I promise." I replied pulling her into a kiss which I hoped conveyed my promise more than my words. We pulled apart breathlessly and started into each others eyes. I wiped away the few tears that leaked out of her eyes as I mumbled, "Maybe I should tell my parents I'm not going."
Her eyes opened wide as she said, "No! You need to go, this is your dream."
"I'm not sure I can leave you." I feebly answered dropping my head.
"It will make us stronger." She said and I looked up to exchange a smile. We stared into each others eyes until we both heard the buzzer beeping from downstairs, causing us to jump.
"I'll go get the pizza." I said still smiling a daze as I stood up.
"I'm coming with you." She stood up and took my hand, interlocking our fingers. Only when we got to the kitchen island did she let go to sit on a stool as I check and pulled the pizza out to cut on the counter. "I love watching you cook." Alex said randomly.
"I'm just cutting pizza, Lex." I said jokingly.
"Yeah, but you look hot doing it." I blushed and turned even a darker red when she added, "Although, you look hot doing anything." I turned around to get two plates and cans of sodas and tried to stop the red on my face. I turned back around to see Alex staring off into space.
"Lex? Aleex?" I tried but she didn't respond so I said, "Alexandra?"
She immediately shot up and said, "I told you not to call me that!"
"I'm sorry, you just wouldn't respond." I said feeling guilty.
She still seemed angry as she walked around the island and took the dishes out of my hands and set them on the counter before she said, "There's only one way to punish you." I gulped until she started to tickle me. I felt a mixture of relief and pure joy as I couldn't stop laughing.
"Alex, Alex stop I'm sorry okay? I won't ever call you that again." She stopped and looked at me sweetly before giving me a quick peck on the mouth.
"Don't let it happen again or I won't be so nice next time."
I saluted and said, "Yes, ma'am."
"Ma'am? I like that." She got an evil glint in her eyes and added, "Say I love you ma'am."
I thought and asked, "What do I get out of it?" she looked at me with a smirk.
"You enjoy giving me a hard time?"
"I don't know what you mean." I replied innocently.
"Fine, if you're not gonna say it, I'm leaving." She said walking to the door.
I knew she was bluffing so I replied, "Ok, more pizza for me." She stopped and looked at me.
"You would let me leave?"
"Only 'cause I knew you were lying." I said taking a pepperoni off the pizza and putting it in my mouth.
"Am I that see through?" she sounded hurt so I looked up and met her eyes.
"No, I just know you so well." She smiled.
"Ok, I can live with that." She walked back over to me and put her arms around my waist from behind and rested her head on my shoulder. I leaned into her.
"What were you thinking?"
"When?" She asked not breaking our embrace.
"When I couldn't get your attention."
"Oh, I was just thinking of how you would look in a maid's outfit." I laughed causing her to step away from me looking offended. "Is that an 'I wouldn't do it'?" I looked at her serious face and laughed harder.
"No, I'm not dressing up in a maid's outfit." She looked at me with a pout.
"Pweese."
"We'll see if I feel like surprising you." I said thinking quickly.
"I'll accept that answer." She said settling into me again. We were silent as both of us tried to memorize this moment until she asked, "What movie do you want to watch?"
"She's the Man." I said automatically.
"You just wanna watch it 'cause Amanda Bynes is dressed as a guy."
I smiled sheepishly and said, "There's also Olivia/Viola subtext."
"Only 'cause Viola's dressed as a guy." I looked at her and gasped.
"Must you squash my hopes?" she smiled apologetically but still with a sense of humor.
"I'm sorry, baby, you're right Olivia and Viola have a lot of subtext."
"Thank you, now let's go." I gently pushed her and grabbed my plate and can as I led the way back up to my room. She followed with her plate and soda in hand and once we reached my room she sat on the floor right next to my bed.
I shot her a look and without looking up from her plate she said, "Just while we eat then I'll cuddle with you." It sometimes surprised me how well we knew each other but what surprised me most was how sweet she could be when it was just us. Normally, she was a hard, always making fun, Alex but with me she showed her romantic side and I loved that I got to see both. I walked over and knelt beside her while she was still staring at her pizza.
"Look at me, please." I pleased and she complied with a smile and I immediately took her lips with my own. I could taste the pizza sauce as my tongue rubbed against hers.
"What was that for, not that I mind." She asked breathlessly when we broke apart.
"For being sweet." I said simply standing up and putting the DVD in the player.
"Well, then I'll have to be sweet more often."
"Just be yourself." I said passing her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"I can do that." She said taking a bite of her food as the beginning of the movie started.
The rest of our time together became a blur of happiness and before I knew it I was in the car on the way to Camp Rock. I had said goodbye to Alex before I'd gotten in the car to avoid crying at camp but the whole car ride my eyes filled with silent tears.
"Are you sure you want to go?" My mom asked about half way from our house.
I nodded and said, "It's my dream." She dropped it and I tried to find my voice to say, 'Turn around' but every time I opened my mouth the words didn't come.
Finally, we arrived and I felt some relief knowing I had made it. I felt sluggish as I grabbed my bags, said goodbye to my parents and walked to where I was supposed to be staying. I walked into cabin 14 to see that someone had already come and dropped off their stuff. By the looks of their stuff they were rich and probably snobby but I pushed that thought out of my head as I put away clothes and put up my pictures of me and Alex. I pulled out my phone and sent Alex a text to tell her I was here.
I didn't have to wait long before she sent back "I'm glad. Have fun I love you."
"Love you, too." I sent and laid on my bed feeling more tears threatening to fall. I heard a door open and close and looked up to see a beautiful blond wearing a smirk that made my hands sweat.
"I'm Tess, Tess Tyler." She introduced walking forward and putting her hand out for me to take.
"Caitlyn Geller." I replied taking her hand feeling sparks shoot to my brain. "Wait, Tyler as in TJ Tyler?" I asked before I could stop myself.
"She's my mom." Tess said quietly.
"Oh, that must be cool." I said absentmindedly.
"When she's not on tour, it is, I guess." She walked over and sat on her bed.
"Do you talk to her when she's on tour?" she looked at me surprised.
"Not really, she tries to but she's busy."
"I'm sorry that seems tough." She smiled still seeming surprised. "Why do you look so surprised?"
"Because no one usually cares, I tell them my mom is TJ Tyler and all they do is ask about her and if they can meet her." She replied quietly.
"Oh, that's sad and rude, if you ask me."
"Why do you care?" she asked sounding a little angry.
"I don't know; I just do." I answered honestly.
We were both quiet for a few minutes before she said, "I like you." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Good, I like you too." I felt relief that I had made a friend but my heart was still hurting from being away from my other half.
"So, what's your story?" I looked her confused. "Where are you from? What's your parents do? Anyone special in your life?" I smiled.
"Smooth. I'm from New York, my parents are both lawyers and yes I have someone special." I tried to smile but felt a tear slide down my cheek.
"Left him in New York?" Tess asked concerned.
I debated not correcting her but saw the look in her eyes and finally said, "Her and yes."
Tess didn't seem fazed as she said, "Tell me about her." I looked at her.
"You don't want to hear me babble about my girlfriend."
"Who says? Now tell me." She tried to act menacing but I saw a sparkle of humor in her eyes.
"Fine, her name is Alex, she's fifteen, like me, and she's incredible."
She smirked at my obvious gush over the love of my life then she asked, "Have you met anyone else?"
"No, just got dropped off then came here, have you?"
"Yeah, I've been coming here since I was eleven so I already know the other regulars. Come on." She stood up and headed toward the door.
"Where are we going?" I asked confused but still standing up.
"To see Peggy and Ella." She explained walking out the door. I walked out expecting to see her standing out there waiting for me but couldn't see anything but trees.
"Tess?" I called out unsure.
"I'm right here." She replied coming out from behind a tree.
"O . . .K. Are we going to see your friends then?"
"Yeah, no time to waste." I wasn't sure what to believe about Tess but didn't want to insult her by asking if this was the normal way she was. I blindly followed her as she walked down a winding path to another cabin labeled cabin 8. Without knocking, Tess walked in and we caught two girls sitting on one of the beds making out. They immediately broke apart and stood up when they heard the door slam.
"Don't you knock, Tess?" the taller of the two asked.
"Oh, silly, Peggy." Tess replied sitting on one of the beds. Both girls looked at Tess confused and I interpreted that as meaning this wasn't the normal Tess. They shared a look before catching my eyes on them.
"I'm Ella." The smaller girl said stepping forward to shake my hand.
"I'm Caitlyn." I shook her hand.
"I'm Peggy, it's nice to meet you."
"You too." Ella and Peggy shared another look as I took in Ella's bright clothes compared to Peggy's darker ones. I wouldn't believe these two were even friends let alone a couple had I not seen it with my own eyes.
"I'm sorry you had to see us just now, Tess isn't one for manners." Ella said to me shooting Tess a look as Peggy walked over and sat on the bed next to her.
"Does she normally act so weird?" I asked quietly hoping Tess didn't hear me but needing to ask.
"What do you mean?"
"She hid behind a tree and just seems hyper or high." I explained she giggled looking at Peggy who was whispering in Tess' ear.
"No, she only acts like this when she likes someone."
"Oh." I said looking at Tess who was whispering back in Peggy's ear. Her eyes met mine and she smiled. I smiled back and looked at Ella to see her eyes on me.
"Do you think it's me?" I asked afraid of the answer.
"Yes, is that a problem?" Ella asked confused.
"I have a girlfriend." I replied hoping to let the conversation drop.
Thankfully, Ella did by asking, "Where you from?"
"New York." I answered and Ella looked at me surprised.
"Aren't New Yorkers not good at camping?"
"Yeah, most, but I went camping as a kid with my parents."
"You're not like most New Yorkers are you?"
I laughed and replied, "No, I guess I'm not."
"I like people who break the norm." Tess interjected walking over with Peggy to stand by me and Ella. I blushed and looked down at the ground. The three girls around me started to talk to each other about a thing called 'the Final Jam' and I just listened trying to bring down the redness I felt every time Tess even looked me. I felt guilt as I wondered how I would be able to be around her for two and a half months and not act on the desire I was already feeling that was sure to increase with each day.
"So, what do you do?" Peggy asked me pulling me from my thoughts.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Sing, direct? What do you do?"
"Oh, I produce." I answered happy to see Tess, Peggy and Ella smile at each other.
"Do you want to produce one of our songs?" Ella asked me sounding hopeful.
I thought for a moment before nodding and saying, "Yeah for what?" I felt stupid as Peggy and Ella shared a smirk until Tess glared at them.
"We have this thing at the end of camp called the Final Jam where people compete and we're gonna sing a song for it." She explained sweetly.
"Do you have the song?" I asked now getting excited to help them.
"No, but we have a little while to choose one." I nodded and let them continue talk only putting in momentary phrases when she asked for it. After a while Peggy and Ella asked for us to leave so that they could be alone. I left quickly but Tess seemed to dawdle just to annoy them.
I walked into the cabin first sighing at being able to relax until I heard Tess behind me ask, "What do you want to do?"
"Tess just so we're clear nothing can happen." I said pointing from her to me. Her smile faltered for only a fraction of a second before it looked forced on her face.
"Of course I understand." I smiled at her but still felt nervous, mostly 'cause of the way my stomach jumped when I said nothing could happen. "I'm gonna go for a walk." She said finally walking out the door leaving me with my thoughts. I looked at my phone and saw it was only ten thirty. I assumed Alex had gone back to sleep so I pulled out my iPod and closed my eyes to take in the lyrics. After a few moments, I heard a very loud knocking and pulling out my ear buds realized it was coming from the door of my cabin. I opened it quickly resulting in almost being hit in the face. I stepped aside and looked at my disturber, a guy taller than me with curly brown hair dressed in a blue tank top and jeans.
"Where's Tess?" he asked seeing me leaning against the door frame.
"She went for a walk." I answered curtly, offended by his rudeness.
"When did she leave?" he asked impatiently. I looked at my watch surprised.
"An hour ago."
"Oh." He calmed down and holding out his hand said, "I'm sorry I've been rude. I'm Nate."
"I'm Caitlyn." I replied shaking his hand. "Do you want to come in and wait for her?" he nodded as he walked in and sat on Tess' bed. I let the silence draw around us until I couldn't stand it.
"May I ask why you're so mad at Tess?" he looked at me and smiled, making all my worries disappear.
"Tess and I used to date until she dumped me for no reason over the phone."
"I bet it wasn't for no reason." I tried to assure him.
"She didn't give me one." He said sounding hurt.
"I'm sorry." I said honestly.
"You know it's weird I don't even know you but I trust you." I smiled.
"I trust you too."
"So, what's your talent?" he asked after a beat.
"I'm a producer, what about you?"
"I'm a singer and I play piano and guitar." We silent for another second before he asked, "Where you from?"
"New York." I sat on my bed.
"Hmm, aren't they supposed to be bad campers?" he said with a chuckle.
"Not if they have parents who take her camping every summer since she was three."
"That makes sense."
"Yeah, but most New Yorkers hate camping. My girlfriend, for example, can't stand it. I took her with me and my parents last year and she never left the car." Only after I had finished my sentence did I realize what I had said.
Nate looked at me and said, "Girlfriend, huh? How long have you been together?"
I felt relief rush over me as I heard his calm tone. "We've been friends for two years but we've been dating for six months."
"Tell me about her." He said in a tone that said not to argue. Shortly after I started explaining my favorite things about Alex the door flew open to reveal Tess standing in the door frame with a smirk on her face.
"Nate, nice to see you with my roommate."
"Tess, we're just talking." He explained standing up from the bed.
"Uh huh and what were you talking about?" she walked closer to us.
"Her girlfriend." He answered quickly. I saw her smile falter again and I felt a pang of guilt.
"I'm gonna leave you two to talk." I said walking out before they could stop me. I walked without knowing where I was going. I soon found a bench to sit on where I could see the lake with the sun reflecting on it.
I took out my phone to send a picture to Alex when a male voice sounded behind me, "Beautiful isn't it?" I turned around and saw a man looking similar to Nate except he was taller and had straightened brown hair.
"Yeah, it is." I said smiling.
He came over and sat down next to me and said, "I'm Jason."
"Hi, I'm Caitlyn."
"Do you like birdhouses?" he asked randomly.
I laughed then saw he was serious so I stopped and said, "Yeah, do you?"
He nodded and with a straight face, not looking at me, said, "But no one will make one with me."
"I'll make one with you."
He looked at me excited and asked, "Really?"
"Yeah." I smiled at his child like behavior.
"Would you make one with me right now?" I slowly nodded and he immediately stood up to drag me to a cabin that had nothing but wood and tools in it. I followed Jason as he grabbed wood and started to put them together. He didn't talk very much as he built, not saying anything more than, "Can you hand me that please?" or "Thank you."
After about an hour and a half we had made a simple birdhouse but Jason looked at it as if it was the most amazing thing in the world. "Isn't it beautiful, Caitlyn?" he asked holding it up.
"Yes, it is." I said smiling. I looked at my phone expecting a test or call from Alex but finding neither.
"Are you okay?" Jason asked looking at my frown.
"Uh, yeah just thinking I got a text from . . ." I paused and he looked at me expectantly. "My girlfriend."
I finished waiting for his smile to falter but it didn't instead he smiled sweetly and said, "I'm sure she'll call. Now do you think we should go get lunch or do you want me to leave you alone?"
"Lunch is fine." I said before adding, "Can I ask you a question before we leave?"
He nodded and said, "Of course."
"Why are you guys so accepting when I say I have a girlfriend?" He looked at me confused.
"What do you mean?"
"I told Ella, Peggy, Tess and Nate I had a girlfriend and they all accepted it. Even Tess who likes me, what makes you guys so accepting of lesbian relationships?"
"Oh, I'm guessing it's 'cause we're all either lesbian or gay ourselves or been around it for years." I looked at him surprised.
"I get Tess, Peggy and Ella but what about you and Nate?" I paused realizing my bluntness. "If I can ask, of course, you don't have to tell me."
"He laughed and explained, "I understand. I'm gay and Nate's straight he just knows Peggy and Ella really well, who are both lesbian, but Tess helped him the most."
"How so?"
"Him and Tess have been best friends for a long time so when she told him she liked a girl it took him a little bit but he accepted it enough that he didn't even care when Shane and I came out to him."
"Oh." I smiled. "Is Nate the only straight one here?"
"Just out of our group of friends." Shane, Andy and Lola are bi and Barron and Sander are gay. Everybody else at camp is mostly straight except for maybe a few that aren't out yet."
I nodded and smiled, "Thank you for explaining. I'm glad I met others like me."
"No problem and if I may ask are you lesbian or bi?"
"I'm bi, I guess, but I've only dated one girl."
He nodded with a smile as if thinking then said, "Welcome to Camp Rock. Can I hug you?" I nodded and he opened his arms. We hugged for a few moments then we left and walked to the largest cabin I had ever seen. It had a kitchen and looked more like a house in the woods than a mess cabin. We ate in silence and when I had finished my sandwich felt guilty for not asking about Jason yet.
"Tell me about yourself." I said not realizing he was mid bite.
He put up his finger and finished chewing to swallow before saying, "I'm a singer in a band with Shane and Nate. I'm seventeen and I left a serious boyfriend at home in Texas."
"Oh, what's his name?"
"Mark and he's amazing." As he explained how he and Mark met then all the cute things he did it made me miss Alex even more.
"So, tell me about your girlfriend." He asked when he had finished explaining. I told him the basics and stopped but then he asked what she was like so I found myself ranting about all the stuff I loved about her. "She seems cool." He said when I finished.
"Oh, she is." I gushed.
"Do you want a tour of camp?" he asked as we both finished and threw away our trash.
"Yeah, that'd be great."
"Cool, follow me." He led me through all of the camp grounds acting like a real tour guide saying things like, "to your left you'll find cabin two." And stuff like that. Eventually, we had seen everything and he had walked me to my door.
"Thank you for the tour and listening to me." I said before walking in.
"It was my pleasure if you ever need someone to listen I'll be here." He bowed and kissing my hand said, "Ma'am."
"Thank you, kind sir." I replied curtsying with a laugh. I watched him walk away with a smile still on my face. My smile fell when I saw Tess laying on her bed, all my guilt came back and it made me angry because I had just met her.
"Hey, where'd you go?" she asked sitting up.
"I met Jason and he showed me around, we made a birdhouse and ate lunch." I answered laying down on my own bed.
"Oh, that must have been fun, Jason's a bit of a clown." She tried to seem cheerful but I could tell she was hurt.
"Yeah, he is. Did you and Nate have a good talk?"
"Yeah, we decided to just stay friends." She laid down again.
"Did you both decide or did just you?" she smirked and watched me as I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.
"I did but after a minute of explaining he seemed ok with it."
"Probably just 'cause he wanted a reason." I heard her sit up and opened one eye to see a surprised look on her face.
"How'd you know I didn't give him a reason?"
"He told me." I replied calmly.
"Oh." And then she laid down quietly. The silence didn't last long before a knock sounded on our door. I felt Tess' eyes on me, still laying down with my eyes closed, as she sat up and walked across the room to the door.
I heard it open and a fake female voice say, "Tess Tyler you get to camp and do not come say hi to me! I am very angry!"
"Hi, Shane." Tess said sweetly. I opened my eyes and put my head up to see them hugging.
I started to lay my head down again but was interrupted by Tess saying, "That's Caitlyn."
I sat all the way up and said, "Hi."
Shane, who was as tall as Jason with straight dark brown hair, was dressed in tight blue jeans and a pink shirt, looked me up and down and said, "Hey, how you liking camp so far?"
"I haven't gone to my classes yet but I love it."
"Good, that's good." He turned to Tess. "Want to go get lunch?"
"Yeah, I'll see you later, Caitlyn."
"Ok, see ya." I said going to get something out of my backpack and added, "It was nice meeting you, Shane."
"You, too." He said before they both walked out and I was left alone. I got out the book I was currently reading, Death's daughter by Amber Benson, and had almost finished the part where Callie's mom convinces her to help her family after her dad's been kidnapped when my phone started playing, "well you are the one, that lies close to me whispers hello I miss you quiet terribly I fell in love, in love with you suddenly now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms." And I knew instantly who it was.
"Hey, babe." I said putting my; bookmark in and sitting up.
"Hey, how's camp?" I could tell she had just woken up and I longed to be next to her.
"It's good. I've met a lot of people but I miss you."
"I miss you, too, that's why right after I dropped you off I came home and slept then couldn't stand being up for any longer without hearing your voice." I heard her voice crack and my heart felt heavier.
"So, do you have any plans for today?" I asked wanting to start a conversation.
"I was planning on eating and talking to you all day, does that sound good?" She replied back and I could hear the clatter of dishes.
"I'm okay with that. What are you making?" We spent the next two and a half hours on the phone talking in great detail of what I did that day and the dreams Alex had. I told her about Tess.
"Should I be worried?" she had asked after I told her my roommate like me.
"Of course not." I had replied quickly but even as I said it I didn't fully believe it. I quickly changed the subject after that to Justin and how he and his new girlfriend were doing.
"He wants my opinion on her but when I give it he freaks out." She had complained.
"What's your opinion of her?"
"I think she's pretty and she seems fun." She had replied sounding offended.
"Is that what you said to him?" I had asked smirking.
"Yeah," I waited. "Ok, no I told him jokingly that I thought she was smokin'"
I could tell she had more so I said, "And . . ."
"And that if I wasn't dating you I'd ask her out."
"Alex!" I felt bad for Justin.
"I was joking I don't want anyone but you." She replied quietly.
"That's sweet, thank you, but no wonder he didn't want to hear it. He may not be mad at us but, you still stole his girlfriend." We continued our easy conversation and I realized any onlooker would be surprised we saw each other this morning because we talked as if we hadn't talked for months.
I heard a voice outside, "Thanks, Shane, you really helped." And knew it was time to get off.
"Hey, Alex, I got to go but I'll call you soon." I said watching the door.
"But we've only been talking for . . ." I heard a beep then, "Two hours and thirty eight minutes we still have the rest of the day." She protested.
"I'm gonna go make friends here but I'll be missing you the whole time."
"Yeah, uh huh, sure you will." I could tell by her voice that she was pouting.
"Alex please don't make this harder, you know that all I want to do is be with you but my parents paid for this and I don't want to waste that."
Finally, she sighed, "Fine you're right, have fun and I love you."
I heard the door open and close as I replied, "I love you, too."
I put my phone back in my pocket and grabbed my book again but before I could open it Tess asked, "Parents or Alex?" I smiled. "Alex." She said before I could answer. I nodded and felt perfectly happy.
I talked to Tess until she stood and said, "It's dinner time and then campfire."
I had heard whispering when we walked in and after a few seconds Tess stopped and said, "This is Caitlyn and she's in our group." before continuing to walk. The whispering then stopped and I followed her silently. We sat at a large table with Peggy, Ella, Shane, Nate, Jason and were later joined by a girl named Lola and three guys named Barron, Sander and Andy. Through looking around it seemed that I had become apart of the largest group in the whole camp, everybody else were in a groups of three or four. I also noticed that Tess was the leader of the camp and everyone watched her every move. Shortly after sitting down I started a conversation with Peggy and Ella about musical instruments that we played and liked and I felt perfectly at ease.
I didn't feel nervous until the next day when I woke up to go to the classes Camp Rock offered. The first class I had was a dance class so I felt ok but then I went to a singing class, a talent I don't believe I'm very good at. To make matters worse the instructor, Brown Cesario, asked me to sing.
"Um, I'm not really that good." I tried to object but he looked at me determinately. I stood up and slowly walked to him. "But I'm a dancer not a singer." I said giving it my last shot.
"No buts just sing anything that comes to your head." He said stepping away to sit in the seat I had just vacated. I looked around the room at all the faces before finally meeting Tess' piercing green eyes and felt a sudden braveness enough to sing the only song I knew all the words to.
This is
my world
four walls and a view
I stare at the ceiling
Chasing
these feelings
around in my head
I'm so confused
constantly
wishing
for what I've been missing
in my life
I learn to
be strong
when the walls are crumbling
all around my heart
You
might say I feel lost and found
You might say I'm all turned
around
this is the first time that I know who I am
Cause now my
feet are on solid ground
before I didn't know up from down
It
won't be long 'till I find
were I'm goin' now
I must
confess
I was a mess
I tried not to show it
didn't want them
to know it
Cause everyone has
their own cross to bear
and
mine is still waiting
for everything to
fall back into
place
But I learned to be strong
When the rain is falling
all
around my heart
You
might say I feel lost and found
You might say I'm all turned
around
this is the first time that I know who I am
Cause now my
feet are on solid ground
before I didn't know up from down
Thanks
to love, I know were I'm going now
You
might say I feel lost and found
You might say I'm all turned
around
this is the first time that I know who I am
Cause now my
feet are on solid ground
before I didn't know up from down
It
won't be long 'till I find
were I'm goin' now
Don't
look back
Learn from the past
Livin' for now is what keeps me
going
don't look back but hold the memories
I can do this
I
must do this
This is my world
A much better view
I feel
myself growing
without even knowing
what lies ahead
but
who really knows
I'll just embrace it
with love, I can face
it
You might say I feel lost and found
You might say I'm
all turned around
this is the first time that I know who I
am
Cause now my feet are on solid ground
before I didn't know
up from down
Thanks to love, I know were I'm going now
You
might say I feel lost and found
You might say I'm all turned
around
this is the first time that I know who I am
Cause now my
feet are on solid ground, before I didn't know up from down
Thanks
to love, I know were I'm going now
I know were I'm going now
I
know were I'm going now
When I finished I felt my stomach churn and my hands shaking but then heard clapping. I looked from Tess to Brown and got two smiles of approval. Brown got up and stood by me again.
"Very good looks like you're a dancer and a singer."
"Thanks." I said as I sat back down next to Tess.
"That was amazing." She leaned over and whispered in my ear making goose bumps erupt on my arms.
"Thanks." I mumbled out before we both turned our attention back to Brown and the next person he wanted to sing.
Every day I got closer to the people in our group at camp, mostly to Jason, and whenever I'd get close to Tess I felt guilty and could tell I was getting closer to stepping over the line. Before I knew it it was the last day of camp.
"I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow." Tess said to me while gathering her stuff to pack up during our last night.
"I know we've had a lot of fun." I said from my bed where I was folding my clothes to put away.
"Yeah, we have." She said very quietly and when I looked up she was sitting on her bed with a tear running down her cheek.
"Hey, don't cry." I said standing up and walking over to her.
"I'm just gonna miss you." She said as I pulled her up into a hug.
"I'm gonna miss you too but I'm sure we'll see each other next year." I pulled away and she looked into my eyes. We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and before I could protest her lips were on mine. I felt a moan escape my throat as her tongue rubbed against my lips asking for entrance. I jumped away before the kiss could intensify any longer.
"What are you doing?"
I asked mostly to myself but she must have interpreted it as I was asking her 'cause I heard her cockily say, "Don't tell me you didn't want that."
I touched my lips and whispered, "Alex."
"That doesn't mean there can't be an us."
"That's just it, she is the reason there can't but an us!" I shot back at her trying to relieve my guilt.
"Why, what is so special about Alex?" she looked hurt but I pushed the thought out of my head as I thought of why I loved Alex.
"She's loud and sometimes obnoxious and breaks every rule but she's my Alex." Tess looked at me.
"You didn't answer my question." I sighed.
"Alex is everything I've spend my life searching for and so much more than that. I just didn't realize it. I can feel my absolute worse and she can smile and me and I'll feel like I can conquer the world. Her kisses leave me weak and invincible at the same time. I sometimes think about my life and I can't see the future without her in it. I mean that's crazy, isn't it? I'm only fifteen and I've found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. So, Tess to answer your question, what makes Alex special is her and she has my heart for it." I looked at her and she had more tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Tess." I tried, stepping forward to hug her again.
"No, you know what, I'm gonna go spend the night in Shane, Nate and Jason's cabin. I'll come get my stuff tomorrow." And with that she left and I felt even worse. I spent the night pacing my cabin not getting a wink of sleep, feeling guiltier than I ever have before but not feeling I could tell Alex that I kissed Tess over the phone. I expected to see Tess in the morning but she must have been avoiding me 'cause my parents got to my cabin before she did. I hugged them both and as my dad helped me with my bags I explained all that I had done the past two and a half months, keeping out the kissing Tess, of course. I said goodbye to Peggy, Ella, Lola, Barron, Sander, Andy and Jason, still not seeing Nate, Shane or Tess.
"She's avoiding me, isn't she?" I asked Jason quietly after hugging him.
He nodded and said, "She told us everything and there's nothing you can do. She loves you but you love Alex so I suggest going home to her and forget this ever happened."
"Ok, thanks, Jase." I said back feeling a little bit relaxed.
"Anytime, you have my number, right?" I nodded. "Good, call me so I can keep up with you." He sounded more like a parent than a friend but I didn't care.
"Tell them I said bye." I told him before following my mom to the car.
"I will." I heard right before climbing in the backseat. As the scenery of the cabins faded away I felt my eyelids drop and the next thing I remember I was being woken up by my parents.
"We're here, sweetie, you're home." I smiled drowsily and climbed out of the car and to the open trunk, grabbing as much as I could and walked into the house and going straight to my room. As I opened my door and put my stuff down I felt arms around my neck.
"I missed you, so much."
I heard my angel say in my ear and I thought, "Now I'm home." Before putting my arms around her waist and saying out loud, "I missed you, too." I pulled away only to crash my lips onto hers. I kissed her hungrily and received the strength I needed. When we broke apart I kept her forehead pressed against mine and looked into her eyes. "Alex, I have to tell you something." She looked at me worried. "Tess kissed me." I said quickly and Alex looked straight back at me and I was worried she hadn't heard me so I opened my mouth but she stopped me.
"I heard you I'm just in shock. What happened?" I explained exactly what had happened leaving out how I felt while kissing Tess. "Ok, how did you feel kissing her?" she asked still looking worried.
"I felt guilty and like it wasn't your kisses."
She sighed and said, "Are you gonna see her again?"
"Don't plan on it." I smiled and leaned into her side.
"Good." She pulled us down onto the bed and we laid there cuddling and talking for hours.
The last week of summer passed quickly with Alex and I doing all the last minute things before school started but it couldn't last forever.
On the first day of school we compared our schedules and found we didn't have as many classes together as last year, so we only had two classes together. We were sad at this but we soon got used to it knowing we could see each other at lunch and after school.
I still kept in touch with Peggy and Jason but not with anyone else. A month into the school year Peggy asked me if I had heard from Tess.
"No, she hasn't texted or called, why?" was my answer to her random question.
"Ella heard she was going to visit you."
"Hmm." I said trying to hid my feelings of concern of Alex meeting Tess. A week passed and I started to forget about her again but it didn't last long because two days later, on Saturday night, while I was getting ready for a date and Alex was sitting on the couch in my living room we heard a knock on the door.
"Can you get that, babe, I'm almost done?" I yelled down the stairs.
"Yeah." I heard her say before the door opened and she said, "Hello."
"Hi, I'm here to see Caitlyn." I heard a familiar voice reply back that I couldn't quite place. Time slowed down and my ears tuned out after I heard, "I'm Tess." By the time I walked downstairs in my fancy red dress Alex was slamming the door shut behind her.
I looked at Tess, "What did you say to her?"
"Nothing." She said and I would have asked further but I was too hurt. I pulled out my phone and tried calling Alex but she didn't answer. I sat down on the couch and felt tears sting my eyes as Tess came over and put her arm on my shoulder. I almost melted into her touch but stopped myself by shooting Tess a look and shrugging off her arm.
"I think you should leave." I said then heard her laugh.
"Why, Alex's gone, I can help comfort you." I stood up and walked to the door, opening it violently.
"When will you get it through your head, Tess? Alex is the only girl for me, even if she's not with me."
She looked at my face and saw the anger so she stood up and said, "Fine but don't come cryin' to me when you're alone."
"Trust me, I won't." I said slamming the door and feeling the sobs overcome my body. I wobbled to the couch and fell onto it before I completely fell apart. I stayed on the couch rolled in a ball, not paying attention to anything until my parents came home the next morning.
"Honey, are you okay?" I heard my mom's sweet voice ask me but I didn't have the energy to even nod my head so I stayed perfectly still staring into the abyss. "What happened?" she asked panicking.
I painfully raised my head and quietly said, "Alex is mad at me."
"Oh well you'll get her back." She sighed and started to walk away.
I stood up in anger and yelled, "No, Mom you don't get it. Tess came over and said something to Alex so she left and now she won't talk to me!" I felt a sob erupt from my mouth again and fell to my knees in pain.
I felt my mom hug me as she said, "Shhh, honey I'm sorry." I cried so hard I must have passed out 'cause I don't remember how I ended up in my bed an hour and a half later. I had learned on the couch that the less I moved the less it hurt but laying here in the bed Alex slept in when she was over hurt more than standing up. I went downstairs and saw my parents sitting at the kitchen table. They instantly stopped talking and turned to me.
"How you feeling?" my mom asked and I shrugged an answer as I walked and flopped onto the couch.
"You hungry?" my dad asked and I shook my head.
"You should try to get some sleep honey." I shook my head again. "Come on, I'll make you some hot chocolate." She offered but I stopped her.
"No."
"But . . ." she started and I looked up at her.
"I just want to watch TV. I'm not hungry. I'm not tired. I don't want any hot chocolate. Please just don't make me think or do anything." She looked at me concerned but ended up walking away when I grabbed the remote and flipped it on. I thought of getting out a movie but all my movies I have I've watched with Alex and could remember her commentary as she watched so I surfed through channels until I found a show about heart surgery. I didn't even pay attention as the surgeon cut open this woman's chest and felt like my own was slowly being stamped on every time I breathed. I again tried to call Alex but I got her voicemail.
This time I decided to leave a message, "Hey, Alex it's Caitlyn please call me so we can talk I want to correct whatever I did. I miss you and still love you." I felt a sob but finished with, "Call me." And hung up. The show ended and another show about a brain surgery started. I changed it because I couldn't stand the blood anymore and ended up finding a reality show. I didn't watch it long 'cause as soon as I started to get into the show I could hear what would be Alex's reactions to the superficial things the people were saying so I turned it off and just sat in silence.
I didn't know how long I'd been sitting but what felt like a short time later my parents came down and said, "We're going out, are you going to be okay while we're gone?" I heard my mom say while I heard clattering in the kitchen.
"Yeah, Mom, I'll be fine." I feebly answered not taking my eyes off the black screen.
"Caitlyn, honey, the TV isn't on." I heard my dad say and I turned around to look at him.
"I know but it's better than surgeries or reality TV." They stayed silent but shared a look before walking out the door.
"Call if you need anything." My mom shouted as she closed the door. I stared at the blank screen until I remembered I had homework to do and thought it could distract me so I stood up and headed to the stairs when I heard a loud knocking.
"If that's Tess I'll kill you!" I yelled before opening the door to see Justin standing in my doorframe out of breath. "What do you want, Justin?" I asked feeling tired for the first time that day.
"Alex won't come out of her room. You need to help her."
I looked at him surprised and said, "She left me so unless she comes to me asking for help I can't do anything." Justin's face instantly fell and concern filled his eyes.
"She left? What happened? Are you okay?"
I smiled at his obvious need to help and said, "Tess came over and Alex walked out before I could say anything. I don't know what Tess said and Alex won't return my calls and no I'm not okay." My eyes started to water and wouldn't stop no matter how many times I wiped at my eyes. Justin pulled me into a hug and held me while I sobbed into his shoulder.
"It's gonna be okay." He said once I'd calmed down.
"How can you know that? She won't talk to me." I said in between hiccups. He pulled away from me and holding my shoulders looked into my eyes.
"You guys are meant to be, she'll talk to you, eventually, and everything will be alright." He sounded so sure it made me believe him.
I nodded then said, "But how long will that take I need her now." I felt the tears start again and Justin pushed me over to the couch, closing the door behind him.
"Alex may be stubborn but she loves you and love conquers pride."
"Not if she thinks I cheated." I objected.
"Did you?" I shook my head.
"Not except that kiss I told her about."
"She'll realize that and apologize for overreacting and ask for you back."
"How can you be so sure?"
"She needs you as much as you need her." He said quietly before adding, "I'll talk to her and you'll see in no time at all that you'll be back together."
"Thanks, Justin." I said hugging him.
"No problem. I hate seeing you both in pain." Justin left and I felt hope in my heart so I ate before starting on my homework. That night I didn't sleep well knowing I'd have to see her the next morning at school but eventually fell asleep only to dream of her. I woke up with her voice vividly in my mind and got ready for the dreaded seven hour prison called school. I went by Alex's locker but didn't see her there, only saw Justin talking to Harper.
I walked up to them and asked, "Where's Alex?" Justin turned and looked at me apologetically.
"My parents think she's sick so they let her stay home." I nodded.
"Did you talk to her?"
"No, I'm sorry, she just stays locked in her room not talking to anyone."
"That's okay. So, I gotta go but I'll talk to you guys later." I said before walking away. I heard them both say bye to my back before turning down an almost empty hallway. I sat on the floor and stared at the wall until I felt my phone vibrate against my leg. I debated answering it but then thought it could be Alex.
"Hello." I said hopeful.
"Hey." I heard and from that one word knew who it was.
"Jason, what's up?"
"Tess called Shane last night crying saying she went to visit you, are you okay?" he asked concern etching his voice.
"No, I'm not. Alex left and now she won't talk to me." I replied feeling my heart and stomach constrict.
"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Do you know what Tess said?"
"No, so I don't know why Alex is mad. Justin is trying to help but she won't talk to anyone."
Jason stayed quiet for a few seconds before he said, "Caitlyn, I'm really sorry but from what you tell me about Alex, she loves you as much as you love her, it'll be okay."
"Why does everyone say that? You don't know that, Alex could be so mad at me she could never talk to me again." I yelled, scaring a few people who were walking in front of me.
"Caity, you don't believe that." He said calmly and I felt ashamed for lashing out.
"No, but it could happen."
"It could, but I don't believe it will, and if it does we'll deal with it then, but now you need to think positive."
"Ok." I said exasperated by the conversation. "I have to go, Jason, but I'll talk to you later." The warning bell rang above my head.
"Ok, think positive and it'll all work out." He said before I heard a click. I ran to my first period and barely made it in time. The whole day I tried to think positively but failed when I kept thinking I would never have Alex again. Finally the day was over and I slowly walked home remembering the last time before camp that Alex and I walked down the same road. When I had almost gotten to my house my phone rang again but this time it was Tess on the line so instead of answering I let it go to voicemail.
By Wednesday, Alex was coming to school but still not talking to me. A week went by and Alex's mood towards me hadn't changed and I felt the little hope in my heart deplete to the point of oblivion. As I slowly spiraled into a depression I started to never leave my bed except to go to school, and my mom came to talk to me.
"I'm worried about you, Caitlyn." She said keeping my bedroom door open letting light stream in.
"I'm sorry to worry you when my life is over." I said angrily.
"Stop being dramatic!" she yelled and I felt scared. "You will find a new guy and realize Alex was just a phase."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I sat up and looked her square in the face.
"You know exactly what I mean." She said determinately, not looking away from me.
"I know. I was just hoping my own mother hadn't said it." We looked at each other until I finally said, "I'm out of here." I got up and put on my converse. She walked out silently and I felt the anger inside me boil. I left my house and walked, not paying attention to where I was going. I somehow ended up on the stairs leading to Alex's street and I could see her talking to Justin outside the door leading into their restaurant. His eyes met mine and Alex's followed and we looked at each other for the first time in two weeks. Justin walked back inside as Alex started to walk toward me.
"I was just about to go see you." She said and I felt my heart soar.
"Why?" I asked suddenly worried.
"I wanted to apologize." She said looking around making sure we couldn't be heard.
"What changed?" I asked keeping my distance to let her speak.
"I got a phone call last night from a guy who made me realize I was wrong." She answered stepping even closer up the steps.
"What did Tess say to you?"
"She said that you slept with her." She answered and I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes.
"I could never do that, you're my one and only." I said quickly.
"I know." She whispered as she grabbed my arm and pulled me close to her and kissed me with more passion than I'd ever felt.
"I love you." I said breathlessly when we broke apart.
"I love you too and no Tess Tyler or anyone else can stop me." She replied kissing me and telling me what words couldn't say.
