Find Your Voice

A/N - it's time for the second chapter, this one's in Yoru's POV.

Warnings - violence, yaoi, foul language, eventual lemon

Disclaimer - People it's called fanfiction for a reason.

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CHAPTER 2: The Painful Truth

Yoru's POV

I knew why Ran excused himself from class, you'd have to be blind not to have seen the massive bulge in his pants. But then again why was I looking there to begin with? Ran had been kind to me, he stood up for me when those guys were harassing me and put himself in danger and he kept thanking me over and over after the incident and even more after I let him keep my spare jacket. It was sometime later when Ran came back in class and the teacher scolded him for taking so long Ran just apologized and sat down trying to focus on his work. He didn't think I saw those glances he gave me but I did, every time our eyes met for a few moments he'd blush and stare down at his pen and paper. Though I'd only known him for a short while I liked Ran. He was so sweet and kind, but it wouldn't do him any good getting involved with someone like me. My mom left me when I was just five and she took my younger twin brother away from me and my father. I never heard from her since. My father is a police officer and he is not a nice man, he's horrid and he takes pleasure in beating me and using me for his own sick and twisted pleasure. I hated the pain emotionally I couldn't handle it so when I was twelve I started to cut myself, I welcomed the pain, it gave me something to focus on instead of all my troubles at home. By the time I was thirteen I became mute, I was so traumatized by my father that I lost the ability to speak. At first my father thought I was doing it to annoying him which lead to more beatings and disgusting sex acts, when he finally realised I wasn't joking it was too late. I haven't spoken a word since then, that was four years ago. But then there's Ran. Ran in this short time I've known him showed me kindness, something no one has ever shown me before. I wanted to be his friend, but if he got involved with me, my father would make sure his relationship with me wouldn't be pleasant. I don't want Ran to get hurt, besides it's not like I can talk, and having a friend who can't talk would be annoying wouldn't it? You wouldn't be able to understand me. Ran seemed to understand my small gestures, the looks on my face and tell what I was thinking, I took a chance and looked at him, he wasn't really focusing on his work just drawing random doodles on his page, I noticed on in particular I liked, it was a dragonfly, maybe I could get him to show me how he drew that later.

"Fujimori, are listening to me!?" yelled the teacher.

"Yes sensei." said Ran quickly his face scared and insecure.

That's when I noticed, Ran was frightened of people yelling at him. At that time when he had come to my aid, it must have taken a lot of courage for him to step in. I think I was starting to understand Ran better, he was kind, sweet and easily frightened, but he truly did want to be my friend and I admired his courage to even speak to me, no one ever came near me unless they had a death wish. My train of thought was interrupted by the school bell screech, I hated that noise I wish they'd change it already! I started to put away my things and as stood up I saw Ran standing in front of me, fiddling nervously with the hem of his jacket.

"Um, Yoru?" he said cautiously.

I raised an eyebrow showing I didn't get it.

"Ah, well, I was just wondering if you might want to um be my friend?" he asked quietly.

I blinked, I wasn't sure if I should say no to protect him or say yes because I really wanted to spend time with him so I went with my instinct. I nodded and Ran's blood red eyes shone and he smiled brightly.

"Really? That's great wanna walk with me out of school?" he asked I just nodded, I didn't think he realised that once you were seen with me people would never treat you the same ever again. But I didn't really care, I liked Ran and if he wanted to be my friend if was everyone else's loss just my gain.

As we walked out to the front of the school Ran chatted to me, telling me some things about himself, I found out he had a twin Sunao, that his favourite foods were strawberries and chocolate, his favourite music was trance and techno, and that his favourite colour was pink. I would have liked to say I grew strawberries, I did just in a little pot outside, it was the only thing my father let me look after.

"Ran come on or mom and dad will be mad!" I saw Ran look in the direction of the entry, there was a boy there who looked just like him, I took it that it was his twin.

"Coming!" he called and looked back to me, "I'm sorry I have to go Yoru."

I just nodded, showing I understood his position, "great, I'll see you tomorrow then!" with that he took off and started to walk home with his twin.

I glanced at the school clock and mentally cursed, Shit! If I was late my father would beat me, that or I might not get dinner again! I took off and ran as fast as I could down the street, I dimly thought I heard Ran called my name, I must of past him but I was running so fast I didn't see him. He was probably confused as to why I was running but I didn't have time to think about it, all I wanted to do was get home so I wouldn't suffer the consequences. Eventually I made it home, just with a moment to spare I cautiously put down my school bag. Had I of been able to I would have sighed, instead my shoulders just sagged in relief so I really wasn't expecting the hard blow I coped to the back of the head, I lost my balance and almost fell over while I heard my fathers voice loud and clear.

"You little shit, your late!" he growled punching me square in the face making my nose bleed, I put my hand up to it to stop the blood getting onto my clothes, "what the fuck have I told you about being late!" another blow was followed and I fell to the ground avoiding eye contact with my father, he was drunk I new that much I could smell the alcohol in his breath. "get up to your room and stay there!" he yelled, "and don't bother coming down for dinner 'cuz you ain't gettin' any!"

I nodded and headed up to my room as fast as I could, as soon as I was in there I locked the door and grabbed some tissues to clean my bloodied nose, about a dozen tissues later it stoped bleeding and I laid down on my bed, I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my ever so useful pocket knife. I pulled off my jacket and lifted my left wrist, both of my wrists were covered in scars where I had sliced them open before, I cut deeply into my wrist and hissed it stang but I liked it. My thoughts were drawn back to Ran again, if the poor boy saw the scars on my wrists he'd be petrified, I was thankful at least when he grabbed my hand today he didn't see them, that was the reason I wore such a long jacket even on hot summer days. I wanted this night to hurry up and end, I wanted to go to school, and most importantly I wanted to see Ran again. If I could I wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, but no I was stuck with no voice at all! I hated it! I was sick of it, not being able to have my say in things, having people say things for me, it made me sick! I stood up and looked out my window, there was a full moon and it was pretty still outside, calm before the storm as they say, something was going to change good or bad I didn't know but I got the feeling my life was about to change dramatically. I also got the feeling it would storm tomorrow, that was perfectly fine with me, I enjoyed rain it refreshed me, I just hoped Ran wasn't scared of lightening storms because it looked like one was coming our way over the mountains. All I could do was wait for the thunder and lightening to come over and absorb me in their rage, I could rest with them and wait for the far off dawn(1)…

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(1) far off dawn- the English translation of one of Takehito Koyasu-sama's songs (note- he's the one that plays Yoru's voice in the anime.)

A/N - I hope it's not too boring for you, please R&R.

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