Find Your Voice

A/N - chapter 4 done! Yoru's POV.

Warnings - violence, yaoi, foul language, eventual lemon

Disclaimer - Sukisho? Yeah. Not mine!

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CHAPTER 4: The Pain I Must Bear

Yoru's POV

Beep! Beep! SMASH!

I slammed my alarm clock off and opened my eyes, I wanted more sleep! I sat up in my bed and swung my legs out the side of the bed and winced. Last night I had coped two more rounds of beatings from my father not to mention all of the painfully long sex acts, when I stood up I hurt even more. My ass was killing me, I was going to have trouble getting around today I frowned as my blood dripped on the ground, my father the stupid son of bitch he was had torn me, again. I grabbed my pocket knife and school clothes and headed for the shower to wash myself off.

Once I had made it to the bathroom I locked the door behind me and turned on the shower, I stepped in and winced yet again, my back was covered in large gashes where my father had repeatedly whipped me with his cane and leather whip he loved so much. I shuddered, if there was one thing I was afraid of it was that whip in my fathers hand, the whip just made him even more scary to me. I noted my father was careful not to mark my face, he didn't want people asking questions, but he didn't count on one person. That would be Ran, although I couldn't answer he would ask and be worried. Having no bandages I could just hope as I put on my school shirt and jumper the wounds wouldn't bleed again or reopen. I looked at myself in the mirror, I wasn't surprised that no one talked to me, I had two different coloured eyes and always wore a jumper for, what everyone else thought, no reason. I unlocked the door and walked down the stairs as quietly as I could , I hurriedly put on my shoes and grabbed my bag before heading out the door and walking to school, my safe haven. Absently I looked up at the sky, all the grey clouds were gone now, perhaps nothing would change in my life today. I looked back down to the ground and patted my pocket making sure that my pocket knife was still with me. Good now I could cut myself at school if needed, sometimes I really thought about committing suicide or slitting my fathers throat so that could escape him, but I never had the guts to do either. I'm not sure if I wanted to kill myself anymore, there was Ran he'd be upset wouldn't he?

My dark thoughts were suddenly blown away when I heard my name called by a familiar high pitched voice. Ran.

"Yoru!"

I looked up at saw him waving at me from a little further down the street, he was with is twin but I saw him whisper something to him and his twin, Sunao if I remember correctly, headed to school without him. Ran smiled brightly waved at me, I let a smile slip across my face as I approached him.

"Hey!" he said smiling, "So, sleep well?"

I nodded. A lie.

"That's great!" his bounciness faded momentarily, "you look sort of pale, are you okay? Your not sick are you!?" he asked now worried.

I shook my head. Another lie.

I wasn't sick but I had lost a fair amount of blood last night, I probably would feel a bit ill today.

"Good, you scared me for a minute there Yoru." he said after breathing a sigh of relief, I could help but smile, had I of been able to speak I would have chuckled. But speech still wasn't possible for me. I could read and write just fine, it's just my voice that's been robbed of me.

"Oh Yoru when we get to school there's something I wanna show you," he said smiling again, "I drew something and I wanna know what you think of it."

Ah yes the power went out didn't it? Ran must've been drawing by candle light or a torch. He was lucky, drawing while I was made to have sex. Most students my age would surely have sexual desires but not me, I had been raped for years and no longer believed any form of sex could be pleasant.

After a short while later, well it felt short to me as I listened to Ran chatter away about how he missed his favourite TV show last night and wanted to know what happened. If my father wasn't home one night maybe I should watch it. Once we were in the school Ran led me to a table outside and plopped his bag on it and began rummaging around in it, muttering things about how he needed a bigger bag.

"Found it!" he proclaimed loudly, holding up a black sketch book.

As Ran flipped through the pages I watched over his shoulder, "here it is!" he said stopping at a page, "what do you think?"

I gazed at the picture it was the dragonfly I saw him drawing in class yesterday with a sunset in the background with a few trees and a meadow in there too. He had shaded the entire thing in with coloured pencils and signed it down the bottom.

"Well?" he persisted.

I was going to give him a thumbs up, but that would have been corny so I took the book off him grabbed a pencil from his pencil case and began to write. I handed the book back and Ran squealed, "really you think it's good?" I nodded and he squealed with delight again, all I had written was it's beautiful the shading is very well done. I like it.

"Do you wanna keep it?" he asked, a look of shock crossed my face, he was willing to get rid of it? He laughed "well? I don't mind it'll just stay in there if not." I nodded my head and Ran tore out the page "here." he handed me the piece of paper and I took it folding it and slipping into a safe place in my bag. I gave him a grateful look and he smiled, I swear I saw the faintest blush cross his cheeks, maybe it was just something to do with the loss of blood.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!!!

And cue the bell I thought watching Ran pack away his sketch book.

"Well I guess we should get to class." he said swinging the backpack over one shoulder, I nodded and we walked to class together.

When we entered the classroom half of the class was already there and they stared at us like we were some kind of freak show. I looked down at Ran, he looked very uncomfortable in the current situation, maybe even slightly afraid.

What's next? One of you gonna push him over!? I thought, I was frustrated. They had no right to be mean to Ran, he didn't do anything after all it was me they hated. I saw Ran walking away for his seat looking at the ground submissively, and as if my conscience was right I saw one of the more tough guys in the class push Ran from behind and he yelped loudly when he hit the ground. I frowned deeply and dashed over to him, well as fast as I could with my recent injuries, I knelt beside him and patted his shoulder he turned around quickly and tensed but once he realised it was me he relaxed and gripped onto my arm with a trembling hand, he had obviously not been expecting that and was shocked of not a little scared.

"What's wrong Ran?" I heard one of our classmates yell, "couldn't you pathetic mute friend help you?" that set him and his friends off in a fit of laughter.

I glared and gently brushed off Ran's hand in favour of standing up, I saw the look of shock on Ran's face but I smiled reassuringly, no one hurt Ran, he had nothing to do with their hatred towards me!

As I stalked over to the jackass that had hurt my precious Ran I heard him go, "oooh looks like someone's a bit angry." and hey wait, when did Ran suddenly become 'my precious Ran'?? I brushed that thought aside and stoped in front if the jerk he stopped laughing and said, "get out of the way freak your breathing my air."

You won't be breathing the air for much longer I thought as my hand shot up to his neck and I started to choke him, I had possibly the evilest glare on my face, this was just karma, he had it coming.

"Yoru stop it!" I heard Ran's voice cry out and I turned my head to him, he was frightened, "stop it please! You'll get in huge trouble!"

My face softened, Ran didn't want me to get in trouble, he did care about me. I dropped the guy, I hadn't even realised I was holding him off the ground. Ran sighed with relief but before I could go over and hug him, the teacher walked in the room commanding us to go to our seats.

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It was now almost the end of second period and I was bored out of my skull, we were in History and we were watching some retarded film about some dead guy I didn't even know! Ran looked like he was going to fall asleep at his desk, he was drawing for awhile at first but he must have got over that and decided to just zone out. I had no window to look out, the blinds were closed you see. So I absently drew little doodles on my book willing the lesson to be over. And as if for once in my life God - if there is one - answered my desperate cry, the bell rang. The lights were flicked on and I got up out of my seat and looked to Ran he still had his head on his desk, he must have actually fallen asleep. I gently shook him and he stirred yawning and making probably the cutest high pitched noise I had ever heard.

"Yo-ru?" he muttered, I nodded and pointed to the clock on the wall, "the bell rang and I didn't hear it?" I nodded again.

He stood up and stretched, "well," he said, "let's go and chill for a bit hey?"

I nodded once again and we walked out of the room. As Ran led the way I had no idea where he was taking me so I was quite curious, we stopped at the end of a corridor where one of the giant windows were.

"I always sit here," he explained as we sat down, "you get a good view of the school without going on the roof, because that's out of bounds."

There was a long silence, I would have loved to have broken it but that was out of the question, "thankyou." my head shot in Ran's direction, he had his knees up to his chin and his arms were hugging his legs to him, "for standing up for me back there." I just smiled as he let his arms drop and stretch his legs out of their original position.

Another silence.

"You know, I don't understand why everyone treats you like this," said Ran, I looked at him curiously, "your just a normal person, everyone deserves to be treated equally."

Oh, but that's when he was wrong, I'm not a normal person, I'm mute, my father hates me and enjoys hurting me, my mother left me taking my younger twin brother with her, leaving me to suffer under the anger and abuse of my father. She could have taken both of us but she didn't, I remember my twin begging her to take me too, to bring his onii-chan along, but she refused and then they left. I was never the favourite, quite the opposite in fact, although she would never have hit me she wasn't fond of me, and my father hated me with a passion. This was strange my head suddenly started to feel funny, like I was dizzy but not, oh God not now. This was due to the loss of blood I knew it, I stood and steadily started to walk away.

"Yoru where are you going? The bathroom?" Ran asked, I nodded, "I'll go with you and wait outside then."

I tried my hardest not to show any signs of weakness before I entered the bathroom, I walked inside while Ran waited out side by the door. Immediately I grabbed hold of the sink and splashed my face with water. Trying to get myself stable again, I looked in the mirror all the colour had drained from my face and everything was starting to get blurring, I couldn't see a thing. Before long I collapsed on my knees with a loud thud, the last thing I heard before passing out was the door slamming opened and Ran crying out my name.

"Yoru!"

To Be Continued

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A/N - Yay for cliff hanger! Yep I'm cruel. What will happen to Yoru? Will Ran find out why he collapsed? Stay tune guys! R&R.

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