This one might be a liiitle risque. Oh well. I DO NOT own TDI or the TDI characters! Okay, this chappy is REALLY slow, but I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK!!! REAL BAD!__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Duncan

Ho-ly...crap. That's right suckas! I just got laid! Whoop whoop! I can't believe that I actually did Courtney! Eee! Ugh. Now I sound like a chick. That. Was. Awesome. No other way to describe it. It was so hot, so sexy, so....lusty. Argh! It was so hot it made me want to scream! YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

"Duncan?" Courtney interrupted my inner cheering. She was snuggled up to my chest, my arms behind my head.

"Mmm, yes, Princess?" I wiggled down so I was snuggling up to her chest, takin' a whiff of the CIT's cleavage. That's right. I said it. And I don't care if y'all call me a pervert. I like it.

She smiled and made a small moaning noise. "Can I ask you something?"

"Can I ask you something? Where'd you get this body?! It's like it was sculpted by ancient gods!" I started kissing her from her chest down to her bellybutton. "Holy god, you're killing me."

She laughed. "Anyways...uh...have you ever had sex?"

I scoffed. "Of course." So many times, in fact, I've lost count.

She looked down at me sharply, as if to say, You ass, you're dead.

Lucky for me, I thought quickly. "With you," I said, grinning at her. "Just now. Which was supa-awesome, by the way."

She didn't look fooled. "Who was she?"

"Pfft," I spat jokingly, glancing away. "What're you talking about?"

"How many?"

"Princess, I don't–"

"How many girls have you slept with?" she demanded.

I frowned and thought for a second, counting them all up in my head. There was Jasmine, Cindy, Blair, Lauren, Katie, Rose, Nikki, Zoey, Erin, Marlene, Grace, Alex, Missy, Jody, Tiffany, Scarlet...god. Maybe I am a pervert. "You know," I said, patting Courtney's leg. "Let's not spoil the moment."

She scowled at me, sending daggers at my eyes. "You stupid dog. You can't even remember." She sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I can't believe I just did this."

"What, you'd take back the sex?" I asked incredulously. "Court, I may've slept with a lot of chicks, but that didn't make those girls special."

She looked at me in half disbelief. "Special?"

"Yeah, Princess." I took her right hand and kissed it softly. "All those other girls – I just wanted to kill some time. But with you..." I farted. "...'cuse me..." She rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "...with you, I actually felt something. Because I love you, Court."

Her bottom lip stuck out and she threw her arms around me. "I take it back," she whispered in my ear.

I groaned. "Do I have to say that gay little speech all over again?"

She pulled back and kissed my nose. "I take back what I said about wanting to take what we did back."

I blinked. "Huh?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes jokingly. "Never mind. I love you, too." And with that, she fell asleep in my arms.

Huh. Did that actually work? I mean, it was true, but did that actually work? Sweet.

The next morning I did something that I never thought I would do: I got up early just to make breakfast for my Princess – no, Goddess – and clean the house. Just to make her happy.

I gasped aloud as I was wiping down the counter in the bathroom. I...was...cleaning. But I shrugged it off, continuing to be gay. Sprayed the mirror with Pledge and let it sit while I went off and tended to the stuff cooking in the kitchen.

I dumped a couple boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese into the pot of boiling water. Hey, no one ever told ya I was a chef. This is my opinion of a quality breakfast.

I sighed, shutting off the burner and pausing in my noodle-dumping. I quickly scooped out the pasta I had just dumped in and put 'em back in the box. I rolled my eyes when the box started getting soggy. "God, Duncan," I said to myself. "You're such an idiot. No wonder all your girlfriends' parents hate you." I just tossed the box in the trash, bringing out a frying pan and some eggs. I popped some toast in the toaster when I was done with the eggs, dividing them onto two plates and setting them on the table.

I was pouring a couple glasses of milk when she inched outta the bedroom in her bright purple robe, yawning. She looked at me and grinned. "What's all this?" She looked totally shocked.

I pulled out a chair in my small dining area and gestured for her to sit. "The head of the table, Princess." She giggled and I pushed the food in front of her.

"I didn't know you could cook." She poked a piece of egg and twirled it around in front of her.

I shrugged. "I didn't know, either." I stabbed some food and shoved it in my mouth.

The phone rang just then, so I jumped up and grabbed it before Courtney would insist on getting it. I put it on speaker. "Yo."

"Hey, bro," Chase, my third brother – Jesus, ain't I lucky? – said tauntingly. "Heard you were bangin' some smokin' hot chick last night and let the Stupah Twins watch." Kyle and Derik snickered as he talked.

Courtney choked on her eggs behind me. "What?!"

"Chase, shut up. Why the hell do ya have to be such a dick?" I barked. "And, no, those morons did not watch, they barged in! And since when is my sex life any of your business?"

Courtney came up and pushed me out of the way. "Listen, Chase, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but I don't want to hear you commenting on our personal lives again, or I will seriously kick your ass. I'll kick it so hard that you'll be crapping out your nose!"

I started guffawing. "Holy crap, Chay, you hear that? A chick's gonna come and kick your ass!"

Chase snorted. "Whatev. Bull." Then he hung up.

Courtney grunted loudly, stomping her foot. "I hate those brothers of yours!"

"How'd you know he was my brother?" I asked.

She looked at me like I was stupid. "How could I not?" She plopped down dramatically on her chair and continued eating. Rawr. What a feisty chick.

About a week later...

"Oh, god," I groaned. Courtney was dragging me to Ikea...again.

"We have to fix up the apartment," she said simply as she drove.

"'We have to fix up the apartment,'" I mocked in a nasaly chick voice, sticking my tongue out. "Blah!" I rolled down my window and folded my arms, leaning out and pouting. "I hate shopping. You can't make me."

She laughed. "Oh, please, Duncan. You're not five years old."

"It's not like I've got a bottomless pit of money stashed somewhere. Why do we keep buying stuff?"

She grinned, giving me a sidelong glance. "My parents are rich, aren't they?"

I nodded as I continued to stare at the freeway.

We got in the Ikea, and I immediately headed for the food court.

"Where do you think you're going?" Court demanded.

"Food," I moaned. "I'm starving!"

She rolled her eyes. "Meet me by the desks."

"Uh-huh," I muttered as I got in line.

When I was done eating, I shoved my tray into that little area where you put all your trash and dishes and ran down the escalator. I saw Courtney talking to an employee with her back turned to me. I tiptoed over to a stack of Lack tables behind her and ducked behind it. When the dude left, I grabbed her and growled.

She squealed, the turned around to glare at me. "Don't ever do that again. I was just about to roundhouse kick you to the balls."

"Oooh," I teased, hopping back. "Protect the nuts!"

She scoffed and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me along with her. "Oh," she said, touching a Hemnes bed box. "I love this bed. We need it." She put her arms around it and heaved one of the boxes onto the flatbed cart she had picked up.

"Uh, no." I picked the box back up and put it where it had been, searching for a new one. "We're getting the black one." I reached out and grabbed it just when this older dude had. "Oh, sorry, bro." I looked up, and it was Courtney's dad. I frowned and stepped back.

"You!" He scowled at me the most evil way anyone could scowl at another person.

"Daddy!" Court snapped in surprise when he reached out to choke me. She put herself between the both of us and glared at him. "What're you doing here?"

Thanks to tdiDXC123 for giving me the idea about Courtney's parents. If I hadn't've gotten that idea, I'd still be lost. THANKS! P.S., I wanna know what I did wrong and the stuff I missed. OOH, favorite parts, too! I'm too LAZY to go check everythang right now... And I know, I know. This is a short chapter, too. THE WRITER'S BLOCK, man! Dang, I hate that! Oh, and my caps lock key was broken and I just got it fixed so that was part of the problem, too. PEACE!