RINGING BELLS
Disclaimer : I don't own anything. And I will probably NEVER own it, ever~
This will be written in Mikan's POV.
Yui took her hands away from her face and went towards Natsume and hugged him on the waist.
"You found her, Natsume." Yui chimed. Her voice was so angelic unlike mine but wasn't she angry? She sounds as if, she's normal..as if nothing happened.
"Yui, I-" I started but then both my hands were captured by Yui's and Yui was staring at me.
"Thank you so much for allowing me to sit with Natsume." Yui thanked me with sincerity. It made me feel bad for what we did earlier. "It seems that Natsume thanked you already, earlier. So now it's my turn."
"Hu-" I was lost and was suddenly kissed on the lips by Yui. It was just a slight peck.
"That's how my family show our gratitude to people in America. I really appreciate your help. May I know your name? I really want to be friends with you. My name is Yui Hizawaki. I'm sure you heard that during class just now." Yui giggled.
"Oh. I'm Mikan Sakura. Glad to be friends with you." I tried to fix a smile. But I wasn't really sure whether I succeeded.
"Library lessons are nearly over. We should get back to class. Wouldn't want to get caught loitering around school, do we? Especially when we're new." Yui went back towards Natsume and held his hand and another around his waist and kissed him. The kiss, of course, was really passionate and deep. It's not like the kiss, she said..was a gratitude kiss. I looked away-to the ground, feeling a sharp thing piercing through my heart. "Let's go!" Yui dragged the all of us. I saw him staring at my back, but I couldn't look back at him.
Back in class, I quickly went to sit beside Hotaru before he comes up to me. From now, I will ignore him. I'll only talk to him if it's an important matter like a class project. But other than that, I will never talk to him, will never look at him in the eye.
•◘○◙ ►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→←∟↔▲▼
A few days had passed. Probably a few weeks to. I was still ignoring him, until he manage to catch me alone, near my room.
"Mikan." he caught up with me and got hold of my hand.
I tried to shake it off but his grip was too strong. "What do you want? Let go of my hand!" I tried to release my hand once again but failed. I decided to just give up.
"No. I'm sorry. But you've been ignoring me. And it hurts." Natsume said to me, he looked into my eyes but I looked away. I don't wish to drown in his agonizing crimson orbs.
"Hurt? What can I do about that? You shouldn't be telling me you're hurt. You have your fiancée a few rooms away at room 513. You can go ahead and tell her that you're hurt." I said. A hint of sarcasm in my voice but Natsume didn't catch it.
"You know exactly what I mean. I love y-" he started. But I couldn't afford to listen to that phrase again.
"SHUT UP!" I shouted at him. It wasn't loud enough to get the other students out of their room yet. But loud enough for him to hear and know I mean it.
"YOU KISSED ME BACK!" he shouted. His voice went back soft when he asked me "Did I really hurt you that much?" His grip loosening on my hands but I left it there. I missed his warm hands around me. But I can't for too much.
"You hurt me more than you think. You struck me right in my heart, Natsume. My heart didn't heal. It never did. The hole in my heart, is still right there, and nothing can mend it. Your return only made the hole bigger. I had always asked myself, whether it was the right choice to befriend you and to be in love with you. All the answers pointed to one answer, which is No. But when I tell myself, I don't love you, it hurts me as well." I told him. Does words just came out of my mouth.
"I know it does." He tried to hug me, but I put my hands to his chest and pushed him away.
"You have no idea how it feels to me. When I saw you and your fiancée kiss with full of passion, I was..I was..jealous? Angry? I don't know. All I know was, more arrows was pierced through me and it made the hole in my heart bigger. More painful. It's like..a cancer sickness. It spreads. I always wanted to fall on my knees, but I had to be strong. And one more thing I noticed was, when you kissed me that day, it was ..a gratitude kiss. Nothing much. Even Yui noticed that. So please, I beg of you, leave me alone." I tried holding back my tears, but they betrayed me and started pouring over my cheeks.
His fingers wanted to wipe them off. But I quickly shove it away and got my hands out of his and ran into my room, shutting the door loudly in front of his face and locking every single locks there. I ran straight to my bed and cried there. Pounding the headboard until my fist hurt. I felt hurt, I felt betrayed and I felt tired. I felt tired for loving him so long, but he couldn't return it with the truth.
I want to feel his warm body around me again, exactly like how it felt before 2 years ago. I missed the day he confessed to me that he loved me since Elementary. Those days were my rarest treasure.
He was so cute then, running all over the school just to find me so he could confessed. I giggled and more tears was spilled.
[FLASHBACK]
"*Huff Huff*..Mikan." He held my shoulders. He seemed to be out of breathe.
"Are you alright? You look really exhausted. Let's find a bench to sit on so you could rest." I looked everywhere for a place to sit, but no bench was available at this park.
"No need. *Huff*.." he took in some air and he relaxed. "I just want, to tell you something..important." he blushed when he said that and looked away.
I being the dense girl, of course didn't know what, so I asked him. "What is it?"
"I-I have a crush on you. And I think, I fell in love with you too. Would you be my girlfriend?" Natsume told me. He was full of sincerity. None of his face showed his poker face. His face showed love. But at that age, I wasn't very sure what was the meaning of love, except for boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife.
Then I just answered him, "Yes." I smiled at him. Some people would have called me stupid or idiot for answering so instant and didn't ask him to let me think about it. But our relationship got deeper and we started going out and kissing when we were teenagers. I loved him and I knew he loved me.
Once, when we were sitting under the Cherry Blossom tree, he gave me a gift. It was a pendant, my name and his carved there, 'Natsume and Mikan. Our love remains forever and eternity.'
"Thank you so much, Natsume. I love you!" I dived in for his lips and kissed him fully. I loved him so much. My first love, my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I love him and shy to admit that, I'm crazy for him too.
[END FLASHBACK]
Thinking about the pendant, Mikan went to her jewelery case and search for the pendant. She ruffled through a few pendants and found it. She held it at her palm and put it around her neck. It looks...beautiful. But she knew, she wasn't the right owner for it. Her name was there, but she's not the right person to have it.
The next day, after school, she silently put the pendant into an envelope and slid it under his room door. She knows that, this is the right thing to do. She needs to get rid of everything that he gave her, including his love for her need to be gotten rid off. She went back to her room and cried in a corner. She really missed him. Seeing him everyday, it's not easy to ignore.
The next morning, during library lessons, he pulled me out, again.
"Why did you return this?" he asked me, he pulled out an envelope and took out the pendant inside.
"It's for the best." I just answered.
"This was just a gift. Even though we're not together, you don't have to return it." he said.
"It's inappropriate. Friends do not give his friend a love message pendant." I told the truth. "Besides, you know why I'm doing this."
"You don't have to hurt yourself so much like this. I told you, we could love each other secretly. As long Yui doesn't notice, it's alright. I'll figure out a way to allow us to elope...together." he trailed of at the end.
"And I told you, it was an insane idea. What would Yui think? Her friend backstabbing her and running away with her fiancé? You're very selfish. Don't you know how she would feel?" Mikan asked him.
"I don't. Exactly. You told me, that I don't understand about you." he said.
"I'm not talking about me! I'm talking about Yui." Mikan said when she understood his answer.
"I don't give a damn about Yui!" Natsume said and Mikan was dumbfounded. "I only love you! Among all people, I thought you would know that! I only love you. Only you. No one else. No other girls could reach my heart. My soul. You were the only girl that didn't fall for me besides Yui, but that was because I was engage to her before I even know about it. You were the only girl that didn't drool over my body for the way I look. Instead, you were angry because I was attracting all the girls in school. All I want is to hold you tight and be with you." Natsume confessed. Just that, this confession sounded like the real one to my ears. But I can't accept it.
"Why don't you tell that to Yui?" I said softly. "She's everything I am, just prettier, smarter and nicer. The perfect match." my voice got softer at the end. But he heard it.
"No one else is the perfect match for me, except for you." He came forward and put his arms around my waist and held me there. I couldn't push him away. My hands were too weak for that. Not because he was a guy and I'm a girl. But because my mind told me that I shouldn't, because I love him as much as he loves me.
We hugged. I didn't push him away, and he didn't break the hug. When library time was over, we went back to class, without uttering a word.
The day went on, neither one of us dared to say anything to each other. But his last words after the hug, he whispered into my ear, "I love you. And I will never hurt you again. I'm sorry."
Whether it's the right thing, or not, I don't really know. I feel..as if..it's a wrong thing. I'm not ready to accept his apology yet. Although he sounds sincere, I can't fall for it just yet. I need time to think.
END CHAPTER
The next chapter will be written in Natsume's POV.
Sneak Peek on Chapter 3:
"Where are you going this late at night?" Yui asked me when she saw me coming out of my room.
"I just want to walk around." I answered her. Not wanting to tell her the truth.
"Natsu-" Mikan said my name but before I could allow her to finish, I pressed my lips to hers.